Chapter Seven

Diane had been full of doubts about the dinner with Kurt she'd suggested rather carelessly as an alternative to their lunch. She hadn't really thought it through, but she'd been aware that cancelling without offering something to make up for it hadn't been an option. She couldn't have done that to him now that he had taken the first step in her direction.

She still wasn't quite sure what his intentions were though. It couldn't have only been about work. But either way she wouldn't oppose a friendly relationship with him. Enough time had passed since their divorce for them to be able to accomplish that. And what could be a better occasion than the birth of their grandchild?

By dinnertime she had been able to convince herself that this night would be nothing special, just some pleasant conversation over great food. And for the most part of the evening that was the case. Until she asked the question she probably shouldn't have.

It wasn't supposed to be about them, that was the last thing she wanted, yet she still asked if he regretted marrying her. She blamed it on the wine and on that they seemed to be at ease with each other so she felt more comfortable bringing up this topic, but only until the words were out, because she quickly realized it wasn't smart to go there, despite his clear answer that he could never regret it.

And she was already prepared to answer the same, but the question didn't come right away. She was wondering why he was holding back, maybe he wasn't sure in her answer. And she didn't blame him for that. Back then Kurt had made a commitment to her that he had always honored, he had been patient and understanding with her and most importantly forgiving. Until it just hadn't been possible anymore, because she'd gone too far.

Yet he was there again, and it could only have meant one thing, that somehow he managed to forgive her. Nevertheless she didn't want for them to talk about the past just yet, at least not in details. It was too early for that. But since she already asked and he answered, she figured she had to say it too, even if he wouldn't voice the question.

"I could never regret marrying you either," she reassured him and he seemed happy about it and grateful that she answered on her own.

She could have said so much more. That she couldn't have asked for a better husband, that she knew the divorce had been her fault. She wasn't even sure if she ever truly apologized to him for ruining what they had. But the right time might come for that too.

She hadn't counted with having this opportunity again. Especially not after their dinner three years ago which had been the last time they had met. He had also asked her something back then, if she'd thought they had made a mistake getting divorced. And she had really been sure about her answer, even assumed he would have answered the same. Because divorcing him had been the solution, she had thought that setting him free had been the right thing to do, since she hadn't been able to appreciate him enough. She had truly hoped some other woman would. Yet he'd seemed disappointed in her answer and that left her with conflicted thoughts.

She had wondered if his reaction had meant that he'd thought the opposite. She couldn't imagine him regretting the divorce, not after the way she'd treated him. And no apology would be enough to change that. But he had still come back and she really wanted to know the reason. But that was another question she decided not to ask just yet. The right time would come.

"Will you call me when you hear from Liam?" she quickly changed the subject to their previous one. Normally she would wait for her son to call, but she preferred to know this news right away.

"Of course," he promised. "And you call me if your firm needs anything," he added.

"I will," she responded.

She was kind of relieved he didn't suggest that they meet again. Maybe it really was just about work and their son like she hoped. She was certain Liam would be pleased about this development too. He needed to know he was able to count on both his parents, especially if he became a father. He needed to know he didn't have to face this responsibility without them.

Diane would have given anything for her father to offer his support when she'd told him about her pregnancy. But he'd had the complete opposite reaction. That had been one of the most disappointing days in her life she hadn't been able to forget ever since.

o-o-o

She slammed the front door of her apartment and threw her car keys along with her purse on the ground. She was probably more hurt than angry, but this was a way to get out her frustration now that she was in the privacy of her own home.

"Diane? Is everything okay?"

Kurt's voice startled her. It hadbeen a week, but she still wasn't used to having him there when she got home at the end of a day. But it had been a decision they had made together. He wanted to be there for her and the baby and she agreed for him to move in with her. They would get married soon anyway. And right now she was glad they only talked about a quick wedding in the courthouse, because she wasn't sure there would be anyone to walk her down the aisle.

"Not really," she admitted and her anger quickly turned into self-pity that resulted in something she wasn't used to doing. But this pregnancy played with her emotions in a strange way.

"What happened?" Kurt was already right there next to her and she buried her face with the tears in his shirt. She was pathetic, but she wasn't able to control herself in this state.

"It's my dad. I decided to tell him he's going to be a grandfather, let's just say he isn't too thrilled about the idea."

She hadn't expected her father to be simply happy, she knew he'd have concerns, but he had been straight out against her plans and that hurt. He had declared that she was making a mistake and if she carried through with it she shouldn't count on his support. He'd even said Diane's mother would have been disappointed in her too, because that hadn't been how she'd raised her and that had been what hurt the most. Because Diane was sure her mother would have been happy about a grandchild, regardless of the father's political views and whether or not it was conceived in marriage. Her father never even met Kurt or knew anything about him, it had been the first time she'd mentioned him to her dad and he was already so judgmental.

"You should have told me you were planning to tell him, I would have gone with you." She loved that he was so supportive, but she had been smart not to take Kurt to witness that conversation.

"This is exactly why I wanted to do it on my own, because his reaction was unpredictable." She was able to stop her reckless tears and distanced herself from him.

"Let me guess he doesn't like that I'm a Republican." He concluded.

"Yeah, but that's just part of it. He also doesn't like that you got me pregnant and want to marry me." She wasn't quite sure her dad's reaction would have been any different if Kurt had been a Democrat. Maybe showing up at his doorstep with such news hadn't been smart. It might have been too much for him at once.

"So I assume we shouldn't count on him for the wedding?" Kurt's words brought tears to her eyes again. She loved her father and always took his support for granted. She couldn't imagine getting married without him being there.

"He was so cruel. I'm his only daughter for god's sake. And it's his grandchild." She wanted to hope that her dad just needed time to process the news and he would come around. Not that anything could ever erase the memory of their heated conversation earlier.

"I'm really sorry." This time it was Kurt who initiated the hug, offering a shoulder to cry on. "I understand that you're upset, but I'm sure he will change his mind. It was probably just too much for him," he voiced the same thoughts she had, but wasn't able to believe in right now. "Next time let me go with you and we can talk face to face."

"I don't really feel like visiting him again anytime soon," she admitted. She felt like her father had to be the one taking the next step.

"I understand. Whenever you're ready. If it's any consolation my mother was happy about the news and she's looking forward to meeting you," Kurt revealed and even though Diane wasn't sure she was ready to meet her future mother-in-law just yet, it was a consolation that there was someone they could count on.

"She was?" She tried to force an appreciative smile on her face as she was looking at him again.

"Yes, she already started rearranging a room for the baby." That reply didn't actually help to make her feel better though. That was clearly going too fast.

"But you told her we're going to live here, right?" It was one thing she'd insisted on, that they had to stay in Chicago and he had agreed.

"I did, but we could spend some time there after the baby is born. You obviously won't be working for a while and it's quiet there and she can help you with the baby." He listed a bunch of acceptable reasons, but she felt like her head was already spinning.

"Can we please not talk about that right now?" She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but this day had already given her a lot to think about, she didn't want to add more to that.

"I'm sorry. Are you hungry? I made dinner." He quickly changed the subject and she was grateful, but also surprised.

"You did what? You can cook?" Somehow her future husband had forgotten to share this important information about himself with her so far.

"Yeah, haven't I mentioned it before?" His grin suggested that he was well aware of the answer. And he couldn't have picked a better day to surprise her with it.

"I don't think so. Good to know at least one of us knows his way around the kitchen," she chuckled. She had already made it clear to him that cooking wasn't one of her talents. "So what's for dinner?"

She pulled him towards the kitchen hoping the rest of the night would keep her mind off the things she didn't want to think about.

o-o-o

Only a few days had passed since their dinner and Diane hadn't heard either from Kurt or Liam about the baby. She had considered calling Kurt to ask about their son, but in the end she ended up calling him for a different reason. It turned out they needed a ballistics expert because they had to file a lawsuit against Cook County for the wrongful death of their client's husband. He'd offered to help the FBI to catch some corrupt cops he had worked with. But then he was shot and killed during their next deployment. And Kurt agreed to conduct an experiment that would determine whether or not the ballistics evidence was on Lockhart/Gardner's side.

She went to his farm again and on the way their dinner was more on her mind than the case itself. It had been weird not hearing from him since, but she'd also noticed that he'd been happy about her call even if it had been work related. Unlike before her last visit, now she felt a slight excitement nearing the house she'd spent quite some time in with him in the past. With him and their son. Maybe if she had listened to him and agreed for them to move out there after his mother's death things would have turned out differently. Not that it made any sense to dwell on the past anymore.

Kurt seemed happy to see her and she also couldn't miss that he checked her out. She was wearing a more leisure outfit this time and his gaze reminded her that for some reason he'd always preferred these on her. While she did prefer him in a suit, that's why he had been able to surprise her at their dinner. She didn't exactly dress up like that to please him, but she didn't mind if she did. His admiration flattered her, especially after all these years, because she hadn't gotten younger.

During the experiment he thoroughly explained everything to her and patiently answered all her questions. Once he even asked if she was all right after firing a few gunshots. She appreciated the attentiveness.

There was also a rather embarrassing moment when she almost stumbled walking down the stairs behind him. She should have paid attention to her steps, since the space among the wooden boards was rather large. But she was too focused on what he had to say. She barely uttered an 'ouch', his hands were already on her arms giving her support to gain back her balance.

"Thank you," she responded gratefully, trying to avoid his gaze.

His touch somehow felt out of place, but she couldn't just shake it off even though it took him a while to let go. They were too close to each other this way and it was uncomfortable because she didn't know how to handle it. She hadn't felt his touch in a long time.

"Careful," he warned her with a smile before he finally pulled his hands away. And she could swear she felt her skin burn underneath her jacket. She even decided to take it off and when he expressed his worry that she might get cold she silenced him with an eye roll. But deep down, it felt good to know he cared.

Unfortunately his findings turned out to be disappointing, but he only revealed this after he'd finished the experiment.

"And then why did I have to come out here?" She tried to sound like she was teasing him, although despite the quite pleasant time they'd had she was a bit annoyed now. He could have just told her this on the phone.

"Your firm asked me to examine the evidence," he reminded her calmly.

He just wanted to be helpful, so she immediately regretted making him feel like he was wasting her time. She liked that she was able to count on him.

"You could have said no," she noted with a smile. It crossed her mind that he just wanted to see her, but she quickly pushed that thought away. Even if she didn't really mind seeing him either.

"I didn't want to, since I was the one who offered you can call me anytime. I wanted you to see it with your own eyes. I promise I won't bill you for it," he pointed out and she tried to show that she was indeed grateful.

"I appreciate that." She simply couldn't help it, her mind was already racing to find the next step, since the ballistics evidence clearly wasn't on their side.

"But I also need to tell you that I was approached by the State's Attorney's Office," he revealed and suddenly things fell back to their place again.

"To argue against our lawsuit?" she concluded and he nodded.

"Yes, but I declined," he admitted to her surprise.

"Why?" she asked, she really hoped it wasn't because of her. "You have the evidence, you should do it. You know I wouldn't hesitate to argue against you," she added hoping he wouldn't pass on such a challenge.

"I know," he grinned for a second, "but I thought it might look weird to be on opposite sides, since we just started getting along again. I wouldn't want to ruin that," he confessed and she was barely able to stand his gaze now.

First the never ending touch and now the confession. She'd been trying to piece this puzzle together for a few days. And even though she felt like she was getting closer to the solution she still wasn't quite sure what it was. Nevertheless, she couldn't hide the effect his words had on her, she was pretty sure her eyes already revealed more than she meant to.

"I promise it won't ruin anything," she declared with a smile. That was the last thing she wanted and she wished for him to know that.

"Let me think about it," he responded with an expression that was hard to read. But she was aware she wouldn't be able to figure it all out today. She had to give it some more time. So she pushed all the thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind and continued to focus on what she was there for.

"Okay, so maybe I'll see you on a deposition?" she nudged him. She didn't want him to overthink this. It was just a case after all. And it's not like it was the first time they would be on opposite sides.

"It's possible," he responded and she was wondering if he was able to read her when the ringing of his office phone interfered. "Sorry, I need to get that," he declared.

"That's okay, I'll go get my purse," she said but as soon as he disappeared she grabbed her cell phone and started taking pictures.

The reason why she hoped he wasn't able to read her was because she was already planning how to poke holes into his testimony if he decided to do it. He involuntarily shared information with her during the experiment that she would easily be able to use against him. He must have been aware of that too, but if he would still accept the offer to testify for the other side it was a risk he would have to take. He knew her well enough to count with such a reaction.

It wasn't personal though, she was just doing her job. And she had meant what she'd said, that it wouldn't ruin anything between them. Not if it was up to her. Something had clearly started and she couldn't forgive herself for damaging that. But she didn't really have a choice. Now that she knew the ballistics didn't work for them she had to make sure it wouldn't hurt them too much either. And hopefully Kurt would be able to understand that.