Author's Note – Okay guys, I know I kind of pulled a fast one on you with the last chapter. I know it sounds like it should have gone in a different category rather than Humor/Parody, but it doesn't. Originally chapter 6 and this chapter were supposed to be one giant chapter. But I'm lazy and I felt that the seriousness from the last chapter would kind of override the humor (which will be in this chapter). So I split them up into two parts. I will also begin working on three more chapters for this fic – one about a theme park, one about the boyfriend of course, and one on Father's Day – as soon as I can. I'll be camping in a few days, so it might take awhile to update. So please be patient, I'm cranking these out as fast as I can, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Disclaimer – I don't own a single thing except for this fic, and perhaps Mina.

"Mina… I'm not what you think I am."

Mina's eyes narrowed as she looked at her father with curiosity and confusion. She paused, trying to understand what he was implying. After a moment of trying to process and gather her words she spoke. "What do you mean? I mean, you're a vampire, you're still my dad…right?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm still both of those things. But I'm not… what I may appear to be."

"Not what you may appear to be? I- I don't get it."

Alucard sighed and seemed to struggle for words as he ran his fingers through his hair again. He looked at her then back at the floor. "Uhh… How do I put this…?" He shook his head and looked at her. "I'm not exactly… the same… when I'm not around you. Are you starting to understand?"

Mina shook her head. "No. I'm not."

Alucard exhaled sharply between pursed lips and looked around the room, as if some sign would suddenly be revealed to him. The furniture just stared back at him, and the walls were silent. "Well… Oh boy… Um… Okay. Okay." He shifted closer to her on the mattress. "Do you feel okay now? I mean, you're not so thirsty right? You feel a little more in control?" Mina nodded. "Okay then. I, uh…I think we need to go talk to your mother."

--In the office--

Integra looked over Mina again and again as Alucard explained the events that had happened within the last half hour. It perturbed her slightly that Alucard had let Mina guzzle down the blood packets – one had been bad enough – without consulting her, but she didn't say anything. She would confront him with it later. At least he was consulting her now. Then Alucard told her about the slightly bigger problem; the lack of communication between Mina and her family. The lack of trust she was feeling. And Integra realized that Mina was right. They really were keeping a lot of things from her, they always had, and now she felt rather guilty. Pretty damn guilty actually.



Integra leaned back in her chair, staring at the top of her desk for a moment. She had always wondered during her pregnancy if she would actually be a good mother. She knew parents made mistakes, but she was starting to have her doubts.

"So," Alucard said, concluding his explanation. "What do you think? What's the best way to go about this?"

Mina looked back and forth between them, still looking just as confused and curious as she had when she came into the office. "Is it really that serious? Are really that different when I'm not around?," she inquired.

Integra nodded. "Yes." She paused as an idea dawned on her. "And Alucard isn't the only one." Peering at Mina for another brief moment, she turned back to him. "Alucard, I want you to go get Seras. Tell her to go to the debriefing room. If you see Walter before I do, tell him to fetch the tapes from the Valentine attack, the expedition to Rio and whatever footage we have left from the aircraft carrier Eagle and the SR-71 you flew. He'll have to set up the video projector and meet us there. Mina, go with your father please."

Both Alucard and the girl looked at Integra questioningly, but did as she said and left the office. As they went out the door and began heading to Seras' room Mina tugged on his sleeve. "Wait a minute- You flew a jet? A spy jet?"

"Uh, yeah. I did. Years ago. And if I'm guessing right, you'll get to see it… and a bunch of other stuff too."

"All on you?"

"No, there wasn't any footage of my fight during the Valentine attack. So I'm kind of puzzled on what your mother is doing. And of course she isn't letting me read her mind," he grumbled the last part.

The two of them met Seras on the second floor and directed her to the debriefing room as Integra had told them to. When they arrived, Integra was working the last touches on the video projector and Walter soon walked in with a few DVD's. "Thank you, Seras, Walter," Integra said. Walter sat the DVD's on the stand with the projector as everyone else but Integra took a seat at the table in the room.

"Okay, Mom. What's going on?," Mina asked, sitting next to Seras and across from Alucard.

"I'll tell you. Walter, Seras, we have a slight problem. Actually a big problem. We have a lack of communication in this family. And unfortunately, although we may have not noticed, Mina has. And it's getting to the point that she can't think straight. So I have decided that it's time… that we show her what we're really like. Even if it means showing our… darker sides, so to speak."



Integra turned to Alucard for a moment as she continued. "Originally it was just going to be Alucard's true self – or original self – that we were going to reveal. But I realized that, although he has sort of a lot to hide, we are just as guilty for not being frank with Mina. Even I haven't been completely honest with her." She turned back to the other two. "So Walter, Seras, as you have probably already realized, I was going to show her some of your… true selves from the Valentine attack."

The butler and the draculina both looked at each and thought for a minute. Seras was the first to speak. "Well… she is the only sibling I've ever had – even if we're barely half-related. I guess I aught to come out with some of the… regrettable things I've done." Integra nodded and looked at her butler.

"And you, Walter?"

He scratched his head and nodded. "Miss Victoria has a point. I've helped raise her just as I did with you, Sir Integra. And as since she's the one to take charge of the family business when the time comes... Well, she might as well know about the services I can provide. Even if I'm supposed to be retired."

"What about you, Integra?," Alucard asked. "I doubt you're that much different around her than what you were like before Mina was born."

Integra looked at him and nodded. "I know. That's why when we're done with the footage, I planned to have you and I sit down with her… and explain our 'positions' in this house. Why I behave the way I do around you, most of the time." Alucard looked at the table and nodded. "Mina, whenever you're ready, we'll start the footage. The videos with you father will be last. Alright?"

Mina looked around the table at them all. She was surprised at how serious they all were, surprised that she was finally going to get the answers to her unspoken questions. She bit her in slight anticipation, then nodded. "Okay. If you guys are okay with this." Integra nodded with a small smile and Walter started the first video.

As the DVD began to play Integra explained what was going on, how far back this had happened. Mina watched with wide eyes as she saw Walter calmly – and with surprising speed – take on Jan Valentines ghoul army without so much as breaking sweat. She couldn't believe that this was the same butler that she had sucker punched when she was only a few years old.

Then Integra fast forwarded the video a little and out of the corner of her eye, Mina saw Seras flinch and slump in her seat. "I panicked. I was scared. Don't know what came over me," she whispered apologetically and quickly in Mina's ear. She hurried and semi-hid herself in her seat as Mina's eyes widened a little more, watching her half-sister take out the rest of the ghouls 

in hall – with her own two hands. Seras mouthed the word "sorry" to Mina as Integra snapped her out of her frenzy on the screen.

Walter quickly stood up and began the next DVD. As soon as he popped it into the tray, Alucard began drumming his fingers on the table. Mina realized that this one and the last one were all him. As soon as Walter pressed play then pause, Alucard suddenly sighed agitatedly and quickly stood out of his chair, opting to begin pacing behind the projector. Mina only looked at him confused until Integra explained the situation again; the whole deal with Millennium, how Alucard and Seras had been pinned as terrorists, and the orders Integra had – a little reluctantly but angrily – given him.

"We managed to retrieve the tapes from the hallways and the elevator from the Hotel before anyone else could get them. We edited them best for reports and put it all as one tape on DVD. It's been in the archives for a while, so they might have a problem playing here or there."

Walter finally pressed play and Mina glued her eyes to the screen. For minute she watched it with some confusion, until the SWAT team opened fire – and her father gladly opened fire right back. Her eyes widened some more as she watched Alucard slaughter them, his eyes glinting and a grin she had never seen on his face as the mortals started running for the elevator. The real Alucard paced in the back of the room, a little worried at his daughter's expression.

Her expression didn't change when the Rio DVD was switched out with next one – the one with the jet. Without a single sound she watched the Nazis freaking out as a bright red dot came plummeting towards them from 85,000 feet at Mach 8 speed. Watched the jet get closer and closer, saw her father transform into something giant and black and had thousand eyes. It certainly wasn't the teddy bear she remembered from years ago. And she watched him get out of the blazing jet after he nose-dived it right into the ship, grinning like a mad man at the terrified survivors. The screen suddenly went blue and everyone turned to see Alucard at the projector, his finger on the stop button.

"I think she gets it," he muttered with shifty eyes.

All eyes were on Mina. Her expression would have been comical in any other situation; eyes as big as dinner plates, resembling the black and white hypnotist swirls as they spun round and round, and her mouth seeming to have disappeared. She was still staring at the screen.

"Mina?," Alucard asked quietly, carefully approaching her seat. "Mina?"

"What?" Her voice was monotone, and was very low.

"Are you…?" Alucard sighed. "Are you… angry with me?"

They watched her fists clench on the table top. "Yes," she growled, her hair hiding her face.



Before Alucard or anyone could don on a sad expression, Mina whirled around on them. They suddenly seemed to shrink as she impossibly towered over them all, her head seeming to become gigantic, a vein throbbing on her forehead. "You all freaking KICK ASS, and none of you TOLD ME?!," she yelled, her eyes turning into giant balls of fire.

They all stood there with a "WTF?" look, staring at her. "W-What?," Seras muttered.

"I mean good grief!," Mina continued, looking exasperated. "Walter! You're in better shape than my entire soccer team put together! And you're actually vicious – how cool is that! And Seras; why didn't you tell me you had an evil side?! We could have scared the Iscariot's witless at the Halloween party! And you!," she exclaimed, whirling on her father with an accusative finger pointed right at him. "You are the craziest, most awesome, most powerful, the most – the most – freaking wicked badass ever known! And you hid it from me?! What, I don't get bragging rights or something?!"

Everyone stared at Mina as she tried to catch her breath, still starting expectantly up at her father. He blinked at her with the blankest expression, and then his face distorted. His mouth became a wavy line, one eye widened as the other narrowed and began to twitch, an eyebrow arched. "My daughter – just called me –a…badass?," he asked to no one in particular, his voice rising an octave or two. Then without warning, Alucard was suddenly lying on his back on the floor, one hand twitching in the air along with a leg standing straight up in the air, stiff as a board.

"Um… Master? Are you okay?," Seras asked as they all leaned over him with a slightly surprised look.

"I worried for nothing," he grumbled, his pitch still high and his voice wavering like he was drunk.

"Dad? Are you going to be okay? 'Cause I was hoping you'd take me on a mission tonight. Just to watch you have fun killing, you know?" Alucard let out a groan and his hand spasmed.

Author's Note – There you go. For those of you who missed the lack of humor in the last chapter, I hope this made up for it. I'm sorry if it's short, I was kinda' hurrying about it. Thanks for the reviews guys, and please leave plenty more. I'll get the theme park chapter or boyfriend chapter as soon as I can. Thanks for reading the series this far, I really appreciate it.