(Note from from the wannabe Japanese lady - HEY! Meru here (dressed up as a geisha for Halloween... or at least during school. I got a severe migraine and couldn't go T&Ting, so my brother went from door to door saying "My sister is sick, can I have candy for her." Anyway, here's the next chapter. Don't know which one it is, I'm still copying and pasting. Also, if you want a little fluff, check out my other step-story: Vicarious Life. Thing is, I couldn't post on that one this week either because I left the floppy disk at home covers head hope they don't kill me.)
What is it with FF. Net? Three days it was down! Sheesh! At least some of you get your wish for a longer chapter, because of it.
I wonder if I could get some more feedback, because I don't think my mailbox is flooded enough from that last chapter. Just kidding! I'm worried about this chapter. It's my first real slash. :)
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.
WARNING: Also, this is slash (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. And the next few chapters could get violent and non-consenting in nature… okay, let me just put rape here too. Just to be sure no one freaks out. I was unaware of the huge debate about the definitions of those two, until I posted this. You have been warned!
Also, because Stonecoldfox found me out, I wanted to put a note on this chapter that the speech Snape gives to Harry was totally inspired by The Closet Land. I LOVE that movie! I watch it all the time. Alan is so Snape in that movie. Go rent it. I had to buy it but it was worth the money. J
Harry was on the floor before the blaze of the fire in the main room. He was in one of Severus' nightshirts again. He had unceremoniously shoved the boy into his bathroom, turned on the steaming water of the shower and told him to wash. Then left young Harry standing alone and apprehensive in the steam of the room.
Back in the main room he'd had a house elf deliver some food. Harry emerged from the bathroom, hair alternately spiky and flat with dampness. Skin pink from the hot water.
"Sit down, in front of the fire." Severus ordered. Harry scowled at being ordered to do something but complied, wrapping arms around his knees, which were drawn up close to his chest in an obvious protective posture.
It irritated him to see the boy weak like this. It was not his nature to be this way. He made Harry eat some bread and cheese then drink some soup.
Settled on the floor across from him, Severus took in the tired and frail appearance of what had been the infamous bright star in Gryffindor. The best Seeker in Hogwarts history and one of the worst potions students he'd ever had the misfortune to try and teach.
"I'm not playing this game any more, Harry." Severus spoke, breaking the long silence that had descended upon them.
Wary green eyes met his own. "Sir?"
"This waiting. Watching you struggle against the inevitable. This bond will be formed, Harry."
The green eyes looked suddenly uneasy. Harry tightened his arms around his legs and scooted back a bit further from Severus.
"I would like to send an owl to my Godfather."
"No."
"No?"
"You heard me."
A look of defiance from him and then, "I would like to talk to Professor Dumbledore than. Sir."
"There will be no owls. No Professor Dumbledore. No more running to your Gryffindor friends or any one else. Its me now Harry. You have to learn to trust me." He leaned forward slightly, forcing Harry to make eye contact and continued in a deceptively calm tone.
"I'm advising you, Mr. Potter, to distance yourself from what is about to happen. Do not look at me as your Professor or the Head of Slytherin. I will not be thinking of you as a student or the great celebrity you are. From now on, when we are alone, you are Harry, I am Severus."
"Both of us are in this as one now. Both of us have been manipulated and pushed together for various reasons." He moved a bit closer to the boy. By this point Harry had his back to one of the chairs with little chance of moving further away.
"We must complete this. I will help you through it, because I must. But you have to accept your part too I will not tolerate any more of your avoidance, your blatant stupidity, your rationalizations." A small, almost shocked, gasp escaped Harry.
Severus raised one fine black eyebrow at this. "Amusing as it has been to watch this… I'll have no more of it. A bit of timidity I can understand and you may expect some amount of gentleness tempered with discipline in such instances. Clearly you are too young and inexperienced to deal with this. However, it is for me to know when to be the compassionate mate and when to be forceful."
Harry made a sound at the back of his throat, as though to disagree with this statement. Severus gave him a sharp glare and dared him to speak back.
The boy stared at him with open mouth, eyes large behind glasses. He closed his mouth but continued to defiantly hold Severus' gaze.
"We are both victims here, Pott… Harry. Just you keep remembering that. I am not the villain. In fact, I am about to be your very dearest friend, and a few other things besides."
Harry shivered and looked away quickly. Flushed.
"Are you feverish still?"
"No."
He was lying. Severus knew this because he felt it. He knew when this boy was lying, when he was sad, happy, angry. Everything. It was an irritating sensation that was always at the back of his head. 'How is the golden boy feeling right now?'
He made a sudden lunged for Harry, perhaps too abruptly, but didn't want to give him a chance to dart out of reach. The boy struggled of course. "No!" He tried, unsuccessfully to kick at Severus but was too tangled in nightshirt to be very effective. He spit instead.
Severus slapped him. Not too brutal, just enough to sting and make him still his struggles. He lay a hand against Harry's forehead and it was indeed hot. Whispering a quick incantation he could feel the heat ebb away a bit.
Shoving the boy unceremoniously away he stood, loomed over him for just a moment and then moved away. "You can just answer my questions, you know. Its not difficult."
Anger radiated from Harry. He was attempting to regain some composure from the assault.
Severus felt a twinge of guilt. There was no need to be so harsh with the boy. But he wanted to establish his dominance in this bond.
He'd had this mental debate with himself before. The fact still remained. This had to be done. Even that little struggle was enough to arouse him. He had to move away or hurt the boy even more. For weeks he'd been fighting his own battle with this bond. It was almost to the point that just the sight of Harry made him ache with need. And that was why he hadn't taken his meals in the Great Hall for the past day. Harry's absence from his rooms the previous night had made this desire all the more palpable.
Dumbledore was going to be angry when he learned of the force he was going to use. Of course, by time Albus learned of this it would be too late to stop it. Severus was sure that in Albus' mind this whole magical bonding thing would be completed with romantic candlelight, chocolate hearts and rose petals. How terribly incorrect he was. He wondered if the man would of pushed them into this if he knew just how the final element was about to be completed.
But there could be no way around it. The boy was taking too long to come to Severus on his own. He would be dead before they could finalize this link. There was no time for any such courting rituals. Not with the Dark Lord growing stronger by the day. This had to stabilize.
Digging through a glass cabinet, full of one of his many stocks of bottled potions, Severus chose a small vial, a label written in Latin identified it as the one he was looking for.
Returning to Potter, who was still keeping a watchful eye on the Potions Master, he removed the cork from the potion and held it out to the boy. "Drink."
When Potter made no move to take the tiny bottle of blue liquid Severus gave a sigh of frustration. "You really do not want to make me angry right now, Harry. Trust me. You are going to wish you had taken this."
"What is it?"
"It's a sedative…" Harry frowned at the small vial but took it, smelled the contents and then, eyes still on Severus, drank the contents in one gulp.
"And an aphrodisiac as well." Severus finished. The look he received at this was priceless.
"I hate you!" Harry threw the vial at him. Missing its mark it smashed against the bricks of the fireplace instead.
"That will change." Dropping his outer robes, Severus knelt before Harry, chest bare and only his trousers remaining on. He held out a hand for Harry to accept. He would offer him the chance to come willingly. Though he knew full well Harry wouldn't accept it.
"Don't touch me!" Harry snarled, eyes filled with fury.
Severus lunged and grabbed him by the arms, wrestling thin wrists above his head and pressing Harry back to the floor. "Relax! Don't make me hurt you."
"No! I can't do this yet! Please don't make me do this!" more struggling but it was pointless. The boy was so weakened from weeks of illness that physical resistance was little more than show. Something to demonstrate that he didn't want this.
"If you relax this will not hurt. If you continue to struggle I will make it fast and hard and spend very little effort on worrying about what you are going through." He hissed against Harry's ear. The boy's resistance calmed. Whether this was from what Severus had just said or from the sedative kicking in, he didn't know.
He lifted himself up slightly, looked down on Harry, who was the epitome of a defeated young man. Hair tousled, liquid green eyes full of fear and a guarded amount of anticipation.
"The pain will not last. It's the waiting that is making you unreasonably edgy." He released one of the slim wrists, slid his fingers through the soft, damp black hair of Harry's head. Pushed it back from his forehead. The scar there was unusually dark. Standing out against the boy's overly pale complexion. One gentle kiss was placed on that forehead and a shiver ran though Harry's body at the contact.
This would perhaps be a little less difficult than he had thought.
Removing the glasses and then going to work on the few buttons of the nightshirt he pulled it roughly from the boy's body. Leaving Harry nude beneath him. His own trousers he removed quickly enough.
There were a few whimpers from Harry as he rested over him. Skin to skin at last. They were both painfully aroused. He reached down and wrapped one long fingered hand around Harry, received a gasp of surprise for his effort. He took up a slow, tight gripped rhythm and was rewarded with breathless whimpering. It thrilled him to know he produced this kind of need in the younger man. He knew he was the first to do this to Harry and he would be the only one as well. He would mark him and make sure the younger man remembered it.
The entire act took more time than he had expected. Once he'd seen Harry into a state of relaxation with one climax he prepared him. This took longer than anticipated. But with coaxing and even a bit of insistence on his part he finally entered the young man. He went slowly at first, not wanting to cause too much pain. But it was obvious, at least for this first time, that pain was inevitable.
Tears streamed from the corners of Harry's eyes and this spurred him on to finish it. He was in no mood for turning this into a long love-making session anyways. This needed to be completed so that they could adjust to whatever this bond was going to do to them. Quickening his pace, he angled his thrusting so that he hit just the right spot and caused Harry to cling to him in a forced ecstasy. An overwhelming need filled him at the sound of the soft whimpers, the quickened breathing and nails digging into his back. "Please, please, please…" It was a barely audible mantra coming from Harry.
"Please what? Stop?" Severus growled in a roughened voice. Though he had not intention of stopping.
"No!" Harry wrapped himself more tightly around him, if that was possible.
Severus almost laughed at this desperation but was too enthralled with the feel of Harry beneath him and around him. The taste of him and the soft needy sounds he made.
Despite his insistence that Severus not stop, he was clearly not entirely enjoying this experience. He could feel the pain and an excess of confused emotions that filled Harry. His body wanted this, his mind was not entirely sure what it wanted.
Severus moved with quicker, shorter strokes, timing it just right, so that both of them reached completion at the same time, as was necessary for the final element of the bond to stabilize. Covering Harry's mouth with his own and drawing the gasps of pleasure into himself, even as he groaned with his own climax. He had just enough thought process left to collapse to the side of Harry and not on top of him, the fingers of one hand still clinging to the dark hair of the boy's head.
The younger wizard was shivering and curled against him. Severus summoned a blanket to them and covered them both. Spoke some words to make the fire burn more strongly in the fireplace.
Through the haze of relaxed pleasure he could feel that things were definitely different now. Harry clung to him, as if his life depended upon it. And as for himself, there was an overwhelming need to protect and sooth. It replaced the lust, which had been there previously.
Harry however, was almost in a state of hyperventilation. Severus could feel the boy's heart beating too rapidly against him. "Breath. It will pass." He spoke in a low voice, smoothed the damp hair from Harry's forehead, whispered a few words of relaxation in Latin and watched as the eyes closed. "Calm down." He continued to whisper, running soothing fingers through damp hair. Slowly Harry's breathing became less erratic, his heart slowed to a more normal rate and the shaking stopped. Only a slight hitch in his breath now and then.
"Better?"
A small nod from Harry in response.
(A/N: I really don't mean to always leave at cliffhangers. It's just that the chapters keep ending that way. Next bit will be from Harry's point of view. I'll try to write quickly.)
