Luke, Obi-Wan, Fett, General Grievous and the droids raced down a long, spacious promenade until they skidded to a halt in front of the colossal Jedi Called Oz' Tower. It's five spires rose serenely into the air a kilometre above them, vastly higher than any of the ultra-modern buildings that surrounded it. Luke's little group of adventurers stood at the bottom of some broad stone steps that lead up to the tower, gazing up in silent awe.

'Do you think they'll let us spit off the top?' asked Obi-Wan, finally.

'There's only one way to find out.' Said Luke in a resolute tone. 'Let's go in.'

He began to climb the steps, and the rest of the group followed, ascending as quickly as they could.

Upon reaching the top, they found themselves facing an enormous and heavy-looking set of doors, with a small viewing-window near the bottom, and an ornate bell.

Luke, still panting after the climb, rang the bell. Nothing happened.

'Maybe no-one's home?' suggested Grievous.

'Don't say that! Not after all we've been through!' Said Luke, in a fearful voice.

Suddenly a voice was heard through the door.

'What punk rang that bell?' The voice said, rather crossly.

'I did.' Said Luke, stepping forward.

'Can't you read!'

'Read what?' Said Obi-Wan.

'The notice, man!' Exclaimed the voice.

'What notice?' Said Fett.

'It's on the door!'

'No it isn't!' Said Grievous. R2 beeped in agreement.

The voice said nothing, but a sliding panel across the viewing window was opened and a hand, which clutched a notice, appeared. and promptly attached the notice to the door. The hand retreated, and the sliding door across the viewing window was slammed shut.

Luke and the gang gathered round the notice, which read:

'Bell out of order. Please knock.'

'Well, really!' said Threepio.

Luke shrugged, and knocked sharply on the door. The sliding door was opened, and the face reappeared.

'Well now, that's more like it, man. What do you want?'

'We want to see the Jedi Called Oz.' Said Luke

'Ooooh! The Jedi? Nobody ever sees the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! It's all about security, man. Now, this party's over.' The voice said, and they heard retreating footsteps.

'Oh, please! Please sir; we've got to see the Jedi! The Good Queen of Naboo sent us!' Cried Luke desperately. The footsteps stopped, and came back to the other side of the door.

'Prove it, man. What do they call a Quarter Pounder Gungan-burger with cheese on Naboo?'

The group, completely bewildered, shrugged at each other.

'They don't call it a Quarter Pounder Gungan-burger with cheese?' said Obi-Wan, incredulously.

'No man, it'd offend all the Gungans.'

'We have no idea.' Luke confessed.

'Too bad. For the record, they call it a Nubian Royal with cheese.'

'No way! What do they call Jawa Juice?' Said Obi-Wan excitedly, but Luke interrupted.

'The Good Queen did send us! I've got the Ruby Lightsaber to prove it!'

'No way, man! Why didn't you say that in the first place?' A face appeared at the viewing window, peering at the Ruby Lightsaber.

'Hey!' Said Fett suddenly. 'Aren't you..?'

But before he could finish a sleek black ship flew low overhead, billowing an ominous cloud of purple smoke from behind it.

'Who that? Who that?' Coughed Grievous, terrified.

'It's the Wicked Sith! He's followed us here!' Cried Luke.

'Can't that guy take no for an answer?' Exclaimed Obi-Wan.

Suddenly the purple smoke in the sky began to arrange itself into letters, spelling out:

Surrender Luke or die! W. S. W.

'Oh dear, whatever shall we do?' Said Luke.

'Well, we'd better get inside and see the Jedi!' said Grievous.

But the man behind the door had gone. Luke and the rest pounded on the door.

'Let us in! Let us in!'

'Get the hell out of here now, go on!' Cried the man from behind the viewing window.

'We have to see the Jedi right away; all four of us.'

'Nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!' Cried the man. 'He's in conference with himself on account of this trouble with the Sith. And even if he wasn't you wouldn't have been able to see him anyway on account of nobody has.'

'Oh, but please. It's very important.' Said Luke.

'And I got a haircut just for the occasion! No more mullet!' Said Obi-Wan.

'No way, you crazy MFs!' said the man.

'How rude!' Said Threepio.

'What's an MF?' said Luke

'Jedi insult.' Explained Obi-Wan. 'It's short for Mother-forcer.'

'Oh, my!'

'Anyway, get lost! Said the man.

'But he's Luke!' said Fett.

'The Sith's Luke? Well, that makes a difference. Just wait here; I'll announce you at once.'

The heavy door swung back, and a tall, beige-robed Jedi Master was revealed to be the voice behind the door.

'Mace Windu! I should've known.' Said Obi-Wan. 'You're the only Jedi cool enough to use that kind of language.'

Fett eyed Mace Windu resentfully.

'No hard feelings, eh?' The Jedi Master said quickly. 'I'll show you up to Oz.'

Luke and the group hurried after him, relieved to finally get away from the Sith and get an audience with the Jedi Called Oz.

R2-D2 was just relieved to get through an entire chapter without having to endure a musical moment.