The reviews I've gotten for this story are the kindest I've ever received from any of my stories! Some of the PMs I got too literally made me speechless, they were so amazing and filled with brilliant words. I hope this story won't disappoint any of you. I love you all so much! *hugs*
Chapter Six – Nowhere to Run
"Remember the feeling, remember the day? My Stone Heart was breaking, my love ran away. This moment I knew I would be someone else, my love turned around and I fell..."
Once the huon and artron particles in her reached zero, her heart would stop. The sonic clattered to the floor as the Doctor stumbled back in shock. Rose Tyler was dying.
There was no way around it, no way he could save her. He could try to unbind the particles from her heart, but there was a ninety-percent chance he'd kill her in the process, and he wasn't about to do that. He'd done enough damage to her. He'd never done an actual scan of her after the Game Station had happened, and now he wished he had. If he'd known just how much Bad Wolf was still left he never would have let her go with that Metacrisis bastard. She could have lived a very, very long life with him, not enduring the kind of pain and heartbreak she'd been exposed to in that parallel world.
And, to top it all off, she also had damaged neural pathways in her brain, which explained why she lost it upon seeing what she thought was the Metacrisis. It probably was also the reason why she never wanted to confide in me. Well, besides the whole hating him thing.
And now that he knew, he couldn't blame her. He still wanted to make her better, but he couldn't despise what she made herself into, as a defense against the universe and the pain etched deep inside her soul.
But still, she could have let him know something. Had she had a previous episode? Was this a relapse today? He didn't know because he had only taken in the relevant memories in her head, what had happened specifically in the alternate universe. Well, if he kept wondering what was happening and what had happened, he'd go mad in the twenty-four hours until she woke up again. The only thing to do now was to wait for her to wake up, and then finish what he started by getting his Rose back so her final days could be happy. What had once been his distraction was now too painful to think about, and what he had been distracting himself from was now the distraction.
So he fled deep into the TARDIS, into the locked room where his whiteboards of Rose had been set up. Circled in the middle of the centre board was a picture of his past self that represented the Metacrisis, with a '?' mark drawn next to it. With a look of pure hatred on his face, he erased the question mark with the side of his hand and tore off the picture, crumpling it up and tossing it away, both out of sight and mind.
"Better start at the beginning." he muttered as he pulled forward the board on the left. In his mind he went over everything relevant he had witnessed inside Rose's head. The memories came back as if Rose was retelling them to him in her own voice...
"Things were okay at first, after you left us. Pete offered John – that's what he called himself – a job at Torchwood. John was a little distant, but I just figured he was letting me get used to the idea of having him around. He was so truthful and honest when you left us on Bad Wolf Bay. I guess what he was going through was a progressive downfall, as his distantness and non-emotion grew each day. He opted to get a small apartment in town as I was still living at my parents' mansion. I see it now that he was keeping things from me, letting emotions build up inside until they all exploded at once.
The only times I saw his good side, the side that wasn't sullen and ignored me, was when he was with my little brother Tony, who was six by that point. I swear Tony was the only person he ever cared for, except for maybe Donna who he always spoke of with such reverence. He loved showing Tony everything he knew and never got frustrated by how small his human brain was. Even then those moments were few and far between.
I remember clearly the day it all came to a head, even though it happened for me over 300 years ago."
The only sound that could be heard in the room was the squeaking of the dry erase marker as the Doctor scribbled furiously to keep up with the retelling of the memory.
"It was cold that morning when I woke up. I looked over at my cell and noticed I had a message from Jake, asking me to come in early; it was imperative that he talked with me before I started work. So I got dressed, slipped on my jacket and my boots and drove to Torchwood. Normally Pete would take me but he had pulled an all-nighter the night before. He was behind in his paperwork or something like that.
I asked Tara, the clerk at the front, which floor Jake had signed into. I met him on the fifth floor, in a room hardly anyone used, with a distressed look on his face that made me uncomfortable.
He said he was helping out in the Med Labs the day before, which surprised me; I didn't know he was interested in that sort of stuff. I guess life on the run put that off the list in his life before Torchwood.
"Remember those full routine checkups and scans we performed on all employees last week?" he asked. I nodded, it was a new policy to make sure no one was possessed or had contracted a deadly virus or anything like that.
"Well, I caught Olivia" the head nurse "studying your results avidly, more than she should have. So while she was on lunch I swiped them." After he said this he handed me a folder. I flipped it open and frowned. Most of the results were inconclusive, but from what I could tell my cells were regenerating, not in the Time Lord sense, but in the sense that they wouldn't die.
"So what's the problem?" I should have suspected something was wrong, but I figured it was merely an anomaly that I could discuss with John that night.
"I think Olivia may have sent a copy to the Superiors." The Superiors were a group formed in London who conducted all the nasty business no one wanted to deal with, who also held rank over anyone who worked at Torchwood. They were more of a rumour than anything here, as no one hardly ever saw them, but yet, they ran everything behind the scenes. What happened to witnesses that could risk the exposure of Torchwood, security leakage and 'taking care of' dangerous alien criminals in our cells.
"So?" I replied, clearly not seeing the signs. Sure, some of the Superiors' methods were a bit unethical, but what could they do to me? I was the daughter of Peter Tyler, overseer of Torchwood One., their main base. They couldn't touch me. Oh how wrong I was.
Jake ran a hand through his hair, which had grown long as of late.
"I don't think you understand the seriousness of the situation." At this I grew a little irritated, thinking he must be overreacting.
"Care to enlighten me?" His eyes flashed in anger, before softening again.
"Once the Superiors review your case, they'll want to search through your file carefully." At this the agitation began. My file was flimsy at best. Any serious investigating would find that I really wasn't this Pete's daughter, and maybe even that my mother wasn't the same woman he married.
Although John hardly ever showed up for work, he still had a file, and that would most likely be reviewed too, and his file was weaker than mine.
And just like that I saw my world, the life I had made crumbling down around me. I couldn't let anyone touch my parents or the clone you had so graciously given to me to take care of. Jake would probably go under investigation for telling me all this. I collapsed against the closed door behind me as my heart began to race. It didn't really cross my mind that something was wrong with me, just that I didn't want anyone to hurt the ones I loved.
"What do I do?" I asked Jake, trying not to let my voice break. I was completely at a loss. I don't know what I would have done if Jake hadn't been so cool headed. He began to pace, and I could tell his mind was churning. He was in this just as much as I was. Well, maybe not as much, but he was still in danger. Finally he spoke.
"You've got to go. You, Pete, Jackie, Tony and John."
"What about you?" I didn't want to leave without him. He was the closest thing I had to a friend now. I was scared for a second that he was volunteering to stay as some sort of heroic sacrifice to protect us. But he eased my anxiety with what he said next.
"Yeah. I'll go too. Wanted a new life anyway." With his words I remembered how close he was with Mickey. Him leaving this universe must have been difficult. At that moment I missed Mickey intensely too, more than I'd had in a while. "I've already talked to Pete about what's going on. Just lay low for a while, and pack your bags when you get home. Today, just don't act suspicious." I gave out a short, nervous laugh.
"Then I shouldn't be standing here in this room with you any longer huh?" Jake smiled back at me.
"Yeah they might think we were doing something other than talking." I knew he was speaking in jest. There wasn't a single person who didn't know how obsessed I was with the Doctor, and not to mention it was common knowledge that Jake 'played for the other team'.
That night at the mansion my stepdad held a meeting for all of us. My mum and John had completely different reactions. Frankly my mum freaked out and Pete had to calm her down. She didn't want to live on the run. Soon she realised my safety was at stake and said she'd do anything to help.
Likewise, John didn't say a single word, only sat there fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt. I questioned his clothing choice and the band of soft eyeliner around his eyes, and of course I was upset at his unwillingness to say or do anything, but once again I didn't follow through with any action. I wish I had talked to him, maybe he would have confided in me, or maybe not. Either way I don't think I could have avoided the outcome.
The next day Pete talked to us all individually. He told me he had arranged a plane to take us to a safe house he had procured on the other side of the country. I worried it wasn't far enough, but I trusted his judgment. The plane would take off Thursday morning at 6 a.m., three days from now. I didn't think I could make it three days, but Pete said it was the earliest that they all would be able to get everything together.
"Just act normal until then," he begged me.
"But what if there is something wrong with me, shouldn't we get this sorted out?" I knew the Superiors couldn't help. A forged file meant immediate incarceration, and alien infiltration meant instant death. Both of these awaited me and John if we were to stay here any longer. I so desperately wished the Doctor was here. He would help me, unlike John who didn't seem to do anything. Tears began to run down my cheeks and Pete embraced me.
"He left me, again." I gasped out in between sobs, something I'd held deep inside ever since I heard the TARDIS engines fading away from me.
"I know," he soothed me. "We'll get through this, okay? Don't lose hope." I nodded, sniffing and wiping the moisture off my face. I refused to lose hope. As long as I had my family, everything would be okay.
I saw John a few times after that, but he was always withdrawn. I nearly snapped at him once, begging him to show me some sort of sign that he still cared for me, he had told me he loved me on that beach so long ago after all. But I figured all that could wait until we were safely away. If I could go back to change anything, it would have been that moment. I didn't see him at all on Wednesday, but I figured he was busy packing. Wrong again.
And finally Thursday morning had come. My alarm went off at 4 a.m. I hopped out of bed and finished what little I had left to do. Pete came up at 5:30 to help me bring my bags down.
"The plane is ready," he informed me.
"Is everyone there?"
"Everyone but John," We were walking out the front door when he said this. I immediately stopped.
"What?! Where is he?"
"Don't know, nobody's gone to look for him." And I knew I couldn't leave the last link I had to the Doctor. He may have been sullen and moody, but he was mine.
"I have to go get him," Pete grabbed my arm as I walked away.
"Rose, we need to leave now."
"No! I'm not leaving without him." Maybe he was running late, or got lost on the way to the airstrip. I knew in my heart there was no way I was going to leave him at the mercy of those who would arrest him, kill him, or worse, torture him. He had two hearts after all.
"Don't do this Rose, he doesn't deserve you." I see now that Pete knew what he was saying, but at the time I ignored him as I walked to the truck. As I reached the door I turned to him.
"Me and John will meet you there at the plane. Twenty minutes." With that I left.
"John?" I called out as I hopped out of the truck and walked across the yard. "John, we've got to go." I stopped, listening for any sort of sign that he had heard me. I had no doubt that he was in there.
But when I opened the unlocked door I realised I had been wrong. Instantly my world fell apart as I took in the surroundings. His flat that had once been filled with furniture and his belongings (what few he had) was now completely empty. John wasn't here. John had left.
I felt my legs give out under me and I crashed to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and began to cry. I had lost my Doctor again, for the final time. How many times had the Doctor left me? Sent me home? Abandoned me? Too many times to count. John was only following who he was born as.
I knew there was more to it than that but at that moment I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I thought about walking back to the plane, but I couldn't stand to see the knowing frowns of my stepfather and Jake as they saw the tear tracks on my face, hearing my mother rant about what a git John was, and the constant pestering of my brother wondering where his favorite adult was. Tony loved John more than he loved me. How ironic, since John didn't love anybody.
In the end it was the image of my mother wondering where I was and screaming at Pete not to take off that got me up off that floor and out the door.
But by then it was too late.
Five black cars had surrounded me and soldiers began pouring out. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Pete as quickly as I could, knowing this was my last chance to say goodbye.
"Go," I said to him. "It's too late for me." I heard him protest. "Please," I begged. "John is gone. I couldn't bear it knowing you guys weren't safe. You're the only ones I care for. Remember me well, I love you all." I hung up and smashed my phone on the ground so no one could trace it back to my family. Tears were now falling uncontrollably from my eyes and blurred my vision as I ground the remains of the battery to my cell into the dust. That hope that I had once clung to was gone forever.
The only thing I took comfort in was that Mum, Pete, Tony and Jake were safely away. I didn't know what happened to John, but deep inside I knew this was all his fault and I didn't care what had happened or where he had gone.
A man got out of the car in front of me and I instinctively knew that if Yvonne Hartman had written a book about her life and her methods, this guy would have stepped right out of it. I had never seen him before but I knew from past experience that he cared only for himself and the one goal he was striving for, no matter who he intentionally hurt in the process to get it.
"Rose Tyler." he said, his voice low and rich. He might even have been kind of handsome had he not been staring at me hungrily like his new prize to put on a shelf and gather dust (after torturing to death). He even looked like her: blonde hair and ice-cold eyes. "It's a pleasure." This was no pleasure. I refused to answer him, no matter how much he would goad me. "Hmm," he said pensively, as if I was some specimen for him to study. "Well Miss Tyler, today is our lucky day."
This wasn't lucky at all.
Yes I know there's some pretty typical things for a story with Rose in it that are used all the time, either with torture scenes, or Rose becomes a Time Lady, or the Bad Wolf makes her immortal. But I'm satisfied that the ending for this is one that isn't typical. Please review :)
