The breaking dawn awoke Chenoa with its cheerful, gurgling river and singing birds. Sleepily she stirred, her eyes blinking open to the pale grey of morning and the layer of chill that it brought. A moment of amnesia obliterated her memory of where she was or why but it felt soothing. Then she felt a heavy, easy weight slung over her waist languidly. Stilling, she felt the slow, deep breathing of someone asleep whispering over the small hairs on her neck and remembered. Yun; his sweet heated kisses. As she turned on her side a little, he whined in his sleep and clutched her tighter to him.

With a smile, Chenoa lay back down and snuggled back against him, warm and safe. Matt, did you ever feel so real and comforting? She almost couldn't remember now and did not want to.

Slowly, Yun's hands came to life, running over the clothes covering the junction of her hip and belly. Pleasant shivers raised goose pimples on her skin as his soft, firm fingers danced over her shoulder and back. Tender kisses rained on her neck and ear as Yun sat up and pushed her on her back for more access.

"Good morning," Chenoa greeted warmly at his pleased grin. Cupping her face with one hand, he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. After a second, her arms came up to pull him down to rest upon her, smothering her in his weight.

"I like waking up like this," Yun murmured against her cheek as he snaked his arms about her. Chenoa hummed her agreement, running fingers over his skull lovingly as she drifted sleepily. Having him pressed so firmly against her was so comforting and warm but she could feel her own body betraying her with the position. She would not be content just laying here for long.

Suddenly, Yun sat up, still smiling at her as he towered above. He looked as if he hadn't smiled in years and now that he started it wouldn't stop. Part of her heart warmed at the idea that it was her doing. Reaching up, Chenoa ran her hand over his brow in an odd and easy familiarity.

"Time to go?" she grinned helplessly. His smile diminished a little from the earthen lips and her heart dropped.

"Yes, I'm afraid it is. I want you to see my home," he muttered in a low voice. "It's beautiful."

"Well, if it produced a guy like you, I'm sure it's wonderful," Chenoa said lightly, getting up on her elbows. He was still too close and it made it hard to control herself now that she had the liberty. Unable not to do it, she grasped the back of his neck and pulled him down to her.

Immediately, his tongue melded to hers and she moaned thickly. He tasted so sweet and clear as if no filth had touched his soul. It saddened her suddenly as he pulled her to her feet, still entangled in her kiss, that she was so damaged. Why did you do so much to ruin me, Matt?

Finally, their lips parted, only a few tantalizing centimeters and Chenoa found herself lost. Yes, she could fall into loving him. She knew it now that this would be the easiest fall she had ever taken. A screaming part of her clung to her former life stubbornly, of her promise to a violent man worlds away. Was she wrong for wanting to love another?

"Enough of that," Yun admonished playfully, letting go after playfully tapping her nose. "We'll never reach the canyon with such antics."

As he moved away to don his robes, Chenoa was in turmoil. Her body wouldn't move and her soul begged for something. After blinking it all away for the moment, reality crushed down. Put on the sandals, the sword. Smile; this isn't so bad.

"We should move out as soon as the raft is done, dark or not," Yun said distractedly as he looped and tied the handmade rope about the logs. It looked like he had done it a thousand times by the way he barely gave it any attention. Chenoa nodded absently, watching his fluid hands as they deftly worked. They sat at the bottom of the canyon, near the end after a half days walk. Behind them was a cascading mountain of gentle pools of glowing light. They flowed downwards, slipping into one another like melting nebulas before drowning in the river that ran between. Near the end of the towering chasm of red and purple rock was a growth of trees. Midday had passed already with five hours till dark.

Bored and mildly depressed by her plaguing thoughts, the woman stared down at her legs. Most of the bruises were yellow-brown now but it almost hurt physically to look at them. Matt's hands were scarred on her soul: all the fights, all of the anger and the jealousy. The time he threatened to cut off his own hand if she left him. The guilt and the weight of his hatred for all others used to drag her down to the dirt. Yun had nothing but damaged goods now.

She snorted out loud, not meaning to do so. She was damaged goods that needed nicotine and Xanax to stay stable, to not be an utter mess. It had been a while now but she knew that someday she would probably fall into it again when her mind got to her.

"Chenoa?" Yun's voice pierced the gloom of her mind. Slowly and blearily, she looked up, eyes unfocused and lips turned down. The expression of extreme concern on his features stung her and she wanted nothing more than to cry. A trembling started in her spine. "What's wrong?"

Chenoa sniffled pathetically and glared up at the pristine blue sky. Even the air had more dignity and grace than she did.

"Yun, I think you're making a mistake," she began as tightly as her inward pain allowed. She couldn't break down. He had to know what he was getting into with her. There had been so much, so much that left her with more than a few cracks in her soul. It was almost as if she needed a biohazard sticker, especially with how wholesome the people of Tao were.

Coming closer, Yun kneeled down and peered at her in hurt confusion.

"What mistake?"

"Me, Yun. I'm a mistake."

He shook his head sharply in denial.

"No, you-"

"Listen to me! Please, I have to say this because otherwise I'd feel like I tricked you or something," she took a shaky breath and forced the breaking bubble in her chest down. "There's so much you don't know about me. I'm not like the people here. I'm not virtuous. I've done so many bad things and so many bad things have happened to me. All stuff that's happened to other girls as stupid as me. Molestation, rape, beatings."

Each word at the end seemed to enrage him more. His eyes hardened into black glass and his body trembled in contained rage. She had meant it matter-of-factly. So many other women had the same sad story out there or at least on Earth. It was a cold, hard truth of life there; good people got hurt and bad things happen. It apparently hurt Yun to hear such atrocities but she couldn't stop now.

"I'm an emotional wreck. I-I've done things I can never forgive myself for. I used to take so many pills a day to make life livable," Chenoa choked out, her body quivering like a leaf. "How can you love someone like me?"

He put out a hand to calm her but Chenoa would have none of it. She had to say this or die.

"I'm so fucked up that my own family can't handle knowing me anymore. I was living in a broken down, half-rotted shack with a fucking psychopath. What place could I possibly have here? Everyone is so…so clean…and I just am not."

With that Chenoa wrapped her arms about herself and broke down in tears, scalding hot and purifying. They poured from her like they never had before, burning her skin. It felt wonderful and it tore just the same to state the utter truth of who she was and what he had in front of him. No lies and no facades and yet there was this soul wrenching shame for it.

Yun said nothing and didn't move as she cried her tired eyes out, soaking in the depth of her words. Did he find her repulsive and disgusting as she feared he would? Would he leave her here in this vast foreign world now that he realized what a shameful being she was? Finally, a warm hand touched her quaking back, rubbing in firm circles. The pure rage still frothed from him, emanating to her and for a moment it terrified her. Chenoa shrank into herself more, afraid of his judgment and words.

"I have hurt so many people. Matt used to make me steal my family's things and pawn them for extra cash. I lied and said horrible things to them because I was afraid of not doing it. I'm a coward and I am not worth this."

Silence. The hand stilled.

"How can you want me? I am so filthy," the whisper took all the strength she had left in her body and she sagged in dank depression. The tears gave way, leaving behind a hollow, dead feeling in her chest. And Yun said nothing. Silence reigned in the air like a swinging pendulum.

"I can love you because I too have made my mistakes," the reply finally came. "I killed a man and tore apart a family and their lives. I have learned forgiveness though I do not deserve it."

Chenoa hiccupped and shook her head in the cradle of her arms.

"But you are so wonderful. You do so much to keep everyone safe and protected. You of anyone deserve forgiveness, Yun."

"So do you. Perhaps that is why you came to me. Your personal need not to forget but to forgive yourself," he reasoned softly, his hand playing a lull-a-bye on her again. "You cannot run from life. Please do not run from me."

Finally, courage came to her again and she looked up at him. The enraged, furious look on his face had given in to reassuring comfort, transforming his face. She sniffled in confusion and wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve.

"I just don't get it. I don't understand," she sighed as she dabbed her eyes. Taking a deep breath she sat up straighter and looked him in the eyes. "How can you not hate me?"

Yun smiled softly though his brows creased in a light frown.

"There is nothing to hate about you. You were a victim, Chenoa, as many people have been," he assured her with no deception. "Horrible things happened to you and you addressed them the wrong way. You made mistakes and no matter how bad it was, it's still a mistake. You learned and grew from them, did you not?"

"Yes."

"Then learn to forgive yourself. For your sake and mine."

Chenoa stared at him with puffy, sore eyes. With a sigh she shook her head.

"You're amazing, Yun. That or just as crazy as I am."

"You are not crazy for falling down or making the wrong choices. There is no shame in that. There is only defeat in not getting back up."

A tiny smile touched her then as Chenoa gazed off at the sparkling river, graced with precious zubrium.

"Perhaps it's time that I do exactly that."

For a few moments, they considered each other and what had passed silently, neither uncomfortable under the others stare. Chenoa's mind felt clearer and less burdened but now her heart broke a little from his kindness, tearing at her in tiny bites. Luckily, she didn't feel like crying anymore.

"We need to get moving," Yun said finally, his voice a bit gravelly. He stood languidly and held out a hand for her. Accepting it thankfully Chenoa felt herself being yanked into his waiting grasp. Yun enfolded her still trembling form in his arms, clutching her close against him. He murmured some lone sweet and meaningless apology by her hair and she nodded mutely. No need for words now. Just hold me tight to you, she thought.