I woke up from the little time I was able to sleep alone in my bed. The images from what happened continue to flash in my head but each time they did they became more terrifying and real. I shuffled out of my bed still groggy. It had been over a week since I had that nightmare if that's what you could call it; expect for the fault it was real.
I headed towards my closet where I picked out a pair of baggy sweat pants and a over sized black turtle neck. I threw my hair up in to one huge bun instead of my usual two long pigtails with buns on each. I stared in front of the mirror and in it I saw a stranger. I couldn't believe that one night could have changed everything. I could see dark circles surrounding my eyes and my skin looked a bit paler than usual. Most probably because I found it difficult to do the easiest things in life even like eating.
I was early but I didn't care. I walked down the stairs to see both my parents sitting down at the table.
"Serena, can you come here for a second?" I heard an uneasy voice call for me.
I walked in to the kitchen to see Sammy also sitting down with them. They all had this over exaggerated worried expression upon their faces. I couldn't help to sigh as I slung my coat on to the chair and let my bag and body fall down to the chair.
"So?" I couldn't help but want to get this all over and done with. I was fine and everyone was acting like I just found out I had a fatal disease. I would be fine, right?
"Honey, I just want you to know that we all care about you and were here because we're worried about you" She inhaled softly while continuing her sentence "Your brother wants to talk to you first"
"Your not dealing with this well and you might think you are but your not. If you don't tell them I will" Sammy unable to look me in the eyes just shuffled his feet while looking at the ground
"Sammy, you could you? There's nothing wrong with me you idiot" I screamed towards him
I heard my dad mumbled something about how not to talk to my brother like that and that he was trying to help me but they were all wrong. I didn't need help at all nothing was wrong with me. My brother looked at me in hope that I would say something while all I could do is shake my head from side to side. He began to apologize about how we both went to a club and I drank more than I should have and that he saw me leave with a boy. He also told them how I had lost it to him. This honestly was none of his business to share. I hadn't even noticed hot tears flooding down my cheek.
I quickly ran for the door not even caring to grab my stuff and I ran. I continued to run until I couldn't feel my feet. I ran until I could hardly breathe. I was still crying and I had no control over it. I found myself running into something hard. I looked up to find Darien. Great.
"Uhm, sorry" I mumbled while picking myself up off the cold cement and began to walk away.
I felt a soft tug on my arm pulling me back and as much as I tried to resist I couldn't release from him.
"Darien, let go I don't have time for this okay" I said while getting a bit irritated
"Serena, you need to stop this" he spoke softly while holding me by my shoulders "You have to talk to someone"
"What's with all you guys? I don't need help god damn it" I screamed causing more attention than wanted
"look at you and tell me your fine. You look like you've lost about ten pounds, when was the last time you ate Serena? Or when was the last time you slept?" he sounded a bit irritated now too "You look like a wreck"
"Hey Darien, anyone ever tell you that you don't know what your talking about? Because you don't. Back off" I shoved him while trying to escape again without him seeing me begin to cry again.
"You keep running away from this but I'm not letting you do this to yourself" He said while grabbing me. Regardless of my attempt to shake him off.
I began to hit hard on his chest at first trying to get away and then just because I couldn't help my self. I began to weep hard on this his soft shirt while he put his arms around me holding me in to a tight embrace while I clinged on to him. I continued until I just couldn't help it anymore and I found Darien taking me back to his apartment to talk but I didn't know if I could do this.
We arrived at this huge building to the 10th floor and to door 102 where Darien took his key to unlock his door while still holding my hand leading me to his soft leather couch.
"Serena, you have to tell me what's been doing this to you" He spoke caringly which made me spill.
"I-I can't its embarrassing"
"There's nothing to be embarrassed by, I'll always be here for you Serena"
"But I like you Darien and this might change things"
"I promise it won't" he looked me in the eyes with his soft and caring green eyes.
"How do I know that"
He sighed as he came closer to me. He pressed his warm soft lips on mine and they began to move with eachothers.I felt his hand on my face and I could feel myself being lost in his kiss.
"That's how you can know" he smiled at me this reassuring smile. I tried to convince myself the pro's and con's but I had to tell someone right?
"Well, you remember that guy from the bar?" I continued regardless of the question "We drank more. A lot more and we went back to his place and at first I thought you know we slept together but" I began to stutter and my words began to slur "But he r-aped me"
I collapsed on to Darien's chest and began to cry for the thousands time repeating the same things "He raped me. My first kiss, my first time and my first everything"
