Notes:
Okay so I have loved reading all of you comments! Please know that I enjoy every single one of them and have a giant smile on my face as read them. I love that you love this story! I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I can't wait to hear back from you!
Chapter 7: PHASE I
The incident in the gym was on Friday and since that day Maria has spent the weekend and all day Monday holed up on her office. It was now Tuesday afternoon and she still has only put a small dent in the paperwork on her desk since she sat down to work three days ago. If Fury would have told her that this much paperwork was involved with the Deputy Director position when he asked her to take it she might have said no.
She sighed as she stared at the stack of papers that seemed never ending. They were on a paperless system, why did she even have this many forms on her desk? She checked her que in the computer to see 189 forms awaiting her signature. Great.
She understood that it always wouldn't be like this. The Stark Expo, Thor in New Mexico and now finding Captain America in the ice, yes it has been a very busy couple of days. The paperwork that involved just one incident was enough to make her eyeballs bleed but three!? This was just ridiculous.
Deciding to take a break Maria sat back in her chair and accessed SHIELD's mainframe, looking at case files, reports, ops and new technology…anything that could take her mind off of filling out another requisition form. Maria continued through the mainframe not much really catching her eye.
A new prototype for a tranquilizer weapon called the Night-Night Gun.
Information on the Tesseract found with Captain America.
Project T.A.H.I.T.I
Avengers Initiative (PHASE I) - SCRAPPED
"The Avenger's Initiative," mumbled Maria staring at the file on the mainframe and then to the large red words of SCRAPPED, next to the file. Clicking the info the file she was surprised to find that the Initiative was scrapped by The Council and replaced with a project called PHASE II.
Anything that The Council had their hands in greatly intrigued Maria. She has never met any of them but Fury has hinted that they were "difficult." Now with her attention finally gained she clicked on the file and opened it. The file itself was easy to access with her now level 10 clearance that was just granted to her last week.
AVENGERS INITIATIVE
PRELIMINARY
REPORT
SCRAPPED
HAWKEYE
Real Name: Clinton Francis "Clint" Barton
Height: 6'3
Weight: 230 lbs.
Clint Barton possesses no superhuman powers. Barton is a skilled marksman with an exceptional ability in archery. He possesses the normal human strength of a man of his age, height, and build who engages in intense regular exercise and is considered athletic. He also possesses a custom-made bow, a modernized quick-release quiver, and a number of specialty arrows. Barton is able to fire six arrows faster than the average human can fire six bullets and is known to be a master archer with extraordinarily fast reflexes, exceptional dexterity, and near-perfect aim. He is also an excellent all-around marksman, well versed in conventional firearms, and possibly has an uncanny knack for using miscellaneous hand-held objects as projectile weapons. Barton is a veteran espionage operative, a formidable physical combatant, and an experienced fighter pilot.
Master Archer: Barton has trained himself to become a master archer specializing in the use of regular bows, longbows, compound bows, and crossbows with near-perfect accuracy. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at a single target in a few seconds, hitting multiple targets in a few quick strokes, and hit small targets in the greatest of distances. As Hawkeye, he practices a minimum of two hours per day to keep his skills honed. Expert Marksman: He possesses very keen eyesight, and his accuracy is virtually unerring; he was trained in his youth by Trick Shot with throwing blades, balls, bolas, and boomerangs. He now has near-perfect precision with any aimed or thrown weapon. He can hurl objects with extreme speed and accuracy, both in direct aim and complicated rebounds/interactions. Expert Acrobat: Barton possesses exceptional human strength, endurance, and stamina. He is athletic, with very good reflexes and agility. This, combined with training as an aerialist and acrobat, makes him capable of complex acrobatic maneuvers. Expert Fighter: Barton is an excellent combatant, having been trained in various styles. Expert Strategist: Barton has been trained in military tactics under the training and service of the Army as a Ranger before operating with S.H.I.E.L.D.
BLACK WIDOW
Real Name: Natalia Alianovna Romanova
SHIELD NAME: Natasha Romanoff
Height: 5'5
Weight: 136 lbs.
Natasha Romanoff was trained and raised by the Red Room, a KGB espionage training program designed to train female spies. Natasha Romanoff is extensively trained in combat. She is also fluent in multiple languages as well as being more than competent at computers and psychology. She is also deceptively strong, though not superhuman. The Black Widow is a master martial artist, an expert markswoman, a natural actress, an infamous seductress, and a gifted veteran spy.
Master Martial Artist: Romanoffis an expert in the field of martial arts. She has mastered karate, judo, aikido, savate, boxing, lucha-libre style wrestling and multiple styles of kung fu. Combined with her strength, speed and agility, this makes her very deadly. Expert Acrobat: She is an Olympic class athlete, gymnast, acrobat and aerialist capable of many difficult feats. Expert Marksman: Romanoffis a very accurate marksman skilled in sharpshooting and knife throwing. Multilingual: She is fluent in Latin, Russian, English, French, German, Chinese, and various other languages. Expert Tactician: She is a very effective strategist, tactician, and field commander. Master Interrogator: Romanoff's skill in psychology and her ability to control her emotions allows her to manipulate situations and people in order to access information. Talented Hacker: Romanoff can hack into most computer systems without tripping any firewalls or security. Master Seductress: She is an expert in the field of seduction. Romanoff has been infamously known to bend men to her will and sometimes even get them to do her bidding using her sex appeal. Expert Spy: Romanoff is a dangerous secret agent trained in espionage, stealth, disguise, infiltration, and demolitions. Her talents and years of experience have enabled her to reach a high rank as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Real Name: Steven Grant "Steve" Rogers
Height: 6'2
Weight: 220 lbs.
After the United States entered the war, Rogers enlisted in the US Army to fight in Europe. He was selected as a candidate for the Strategic Scientific Reserve program as a means to create a new line of Super Soldier's to win WWII. Dr. Abraham Erskine chose Steven Rogers as the first test subject. With the aid of a machine and Howard Stark, Dr. Erskine injected Rogers with the serum, while dosing him with "Vita-Rays". It's transformed a once frail and sickly Rogers into the perfect solider.
Peak Human Strength: Rogers's physical strength is enhanced to the very peak of human potential. His strength is among the most displayed of his Super Soldier abilities. Peak Human Durability: Rogers's bones and muscles are denser and harder than normal, which makes him very durable compared to a normal human. Peak Human Speed: Steve can run and move at speeds that are far superior to the finest Olympic athlete. He can easily keeping up with him, showing he can run at speeds of up to approximately 30 miles per hour with ease (48 kilometer per hour), and could probably run a mile in little over a minute when under stress (which would roughly be a little less than 60 miles per hour). Peak Human Stamina: Rogers's musculature produces less fatigue toxins during physical activity than the musculature of an ordinary human. Rogers's body eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing chemicals in his muscles, granting him indefinite endurance and lung capacity. Peak Human Senses: Rogers senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are all enhanced to the very peak of human potential. He also has a perfect pitch and can notice all sorts of sounds and smells. He also can see farther than any human with perfect clarity. Peak Human Agility: Rogers's agility is greater than that of an Olympic gold medalist. He can instinctively coordinate his body with perfect balance, equilibrium, flexibility, and dexterity. He can leap 50 yards out in a single bound and 20 ft. into the air without a running start. Peak Human Reflexes: Rogers's reflexes are enhanced to the very peak of human potential. His auto-reflexes allow him to easily dodge gunfire and attacks even when not consciously aware of them; his immense reflexes can be used to attack and counter instead of just defensive purposes. Peak Human Mental Process: Rogers's mental performance has been greatly enhanced to the very peak of human potential. Allowing his mind to operate in the most efficient and rapid manner possible, one manifestation of this is his leadership and tactical genius; the ability to quickly process multiple information streams (e.g., threat assessment) and rapidly respond to any changing tactical situations, by creating perfect winning strategies rapidly. Peak Human Healing: Rogers healing speed and efficiency is at the highest limits of human potential, which means he can heal faster than any human. His healing prevents him from getting sick, poisoned or drunk making him immune to all diseases and protects him while frozen. Any and all injuries will heal rapidly and perfectly without leaving a trace of injury. Delayed Aging: Rogers was frozen in ice for nearly 70 years before awakening in the 21st century. It is theorized that the serum halts Rogers' aging due to extensively healthy cells.
Other Abilities
Master Combatant: Steve has mastered numerous martial arts boxing, and maybe some other forms of martial arts. (It is more than likely he probably learned from some of the members of the Howling Commandos). Nonetheless, as stated above, a combination of his strength, his shield and his training has made Captain America a formidable combatant. Master Shield Fighter: Over time of training and experience with his unique shield, as well as its physical properties, allow him to accomplish amazing feats with the item. Aside from bashing foes and blocking incoming attacks, he is able to throw it with nearly perfect aim. Steve can hit multiple targets with the same throw by means of ricochet, and could even achieve a boomerang-like return effect, allowing him to strike enemies from behind or retrieve the shield without objects to ricochet from. Multilingual: Steve is capable of speaking languages other than English.
BRUCE BANNER
THE HULK
Real Name: Dr. Robert Bruce Banner
Height: 5'9
Weight: 145 lbs.
Enhanced Name: Hulk
Height: 7'6
Weight: 1,150 lbs.
Dr. Banner is a leader in gamma radiation research, and once worked with Dr. Erik Selvig for a brief period. General Thaddeus Ross enlisted Dr. Banner in a military research group to create a super soldier serum. But when testing the experiment on himself, he was transformed into the Hulk. General Ross decided to have Dr. Banner dissected in order to recreate the Hulk for mass use, however Dr. Banner instead went on the run, knowing that the Hulk and its power could not be controlled.
He has spent the last year and a half running from country to country, looking for a cure while continuously being pursued by General Ross.
Last known location: Kolkata, India
Transformation: Dr. Banner transforms into the Hulk, when he loses control of himself because of rage or adrenaline, stress, which hormonally stimulates the heart rate. The total time of transformation takes only seconds. Dr. Banner became the Hulk with increase in heart rate or adrenal levels, suggesting that the true trigger mechanism into the Hulk is far more psychological than physical. When the Hulk transforms back into Dr. Banner, the excess muscle mass and energy is lost, presumably to the same place he derives it.
Dr. Banner is unable to control the transformations, but it is believed through training and practice he can manage to attain some level of control. It is believed that Dr. Banner's consciousness is buried within the Hulk's, and can influence the Hulk's behavior only to a very limited extent. In order to stop unwanted transformations, Dr. Banner learned that ways to remain in control of his emotions in dangerous situations. However, if Dr. Banner is sent into a state of stress then he can still lose control and transform against his will despite trying to control it. This Hulk seems to revert back to a savage enraged state where he would attack anyone being friend or foe.
Dr. Banner is a gifted scientist: there's no one that knows gamma radiation like he does and, according to and his work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. During his stay in Rio de Janeiro, Banner initially learned Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and breathing exercises to defend himself against threats from the military, all while keeping control of the Hulk. Along with his new found fighting skills, Banner had developed his cardio to the point where he was able to outrun a Special Operations military team,.
The Hulk:
Superhuman Strength: The Hulk´s primary power is his superhuman strength. In times of stress the Hulk's adrenaline level escalates, causing a corresponding escalation in strength as well as increased levels of energy. To date the Hulk has never apparently been provoked into demonstrating a maximum output of strength; hence his upper limit remains a mystery. Weaponization: The Hulk demonstrates the ability of using his strength to turning anything in the environment around him into weapons or armor to use. Superhuman Durability: The Hulk has incredibly tough skin, allowing him to easily withstand bullets which do not even pierce his skin. Only beings with tremendous force or extremely powerful weapons can harm him. Superhuman Endurance: Hulk's endurance is substantially greater than that of a normal human. Superhuman Speed: The Hulk is capable of running faster than a human. Superhuman Leaps: Hulk has been shown to be able to make mile-sized leaps that can be incredibly precise in landing. Instantaneous Regeneration/Regenerative Healing Factor: The Hulk displays an incredibly fast rate of regeneration. This grants immunity to any illness and longevity (for Hulk, not Dr. Banner). The Hulk heals rapidly from injuries at a much greater rate than a normal human Martial Artist: The Hulk, while having no formal training, is a formidable hand to hand combatant simply due to his great physical attributes. He typically uses street fighting and brawling techniques that make full use of his strength.
THOR
Real Name: Thor Odinson
Height: 6'6
Weight: 640 lbs.
Thor comes from a world not of our own called Asgard. Brought up in the warrior culture of the Asgardians, Thor values strength, courage, and loyalty above all else. He once desired to be exactly like his father the war hero, and often remarks on the monsters he will slay and the wars he will win when he is king. Thor would be worshiped as a deity of strength and courage among Scandinavian cultures. Thor is the eldest brother, and will be king of Asgard.
When Thor was first introduced to our world he was brash, young, and arrogant prince who defied the will of his father and placed his selfish needs before that of those around him. Due to his mighty power and appearance, he felt that he was entitled to rule with an iron fist. Once he arrived on earth and met Jane Foster, he was then showed kindness and love. Over time Thor began to develop a humble and compassionate heart.
Superhuman Strength: Thor is physically the strongest Asgardian, possessing vast superhuman strength, the full limits of which aren't known. Superhuman Stamina: Thor's advanced musculature is considerably more efficient than that of a human and most other Asgardians. As a result, his muscles produce practically no fatigue toxins during physical activity compared to those of humans and most other members of his race. His virtually inexhaustible stamina enables him to exert himself at peak capacity for an undefined period of time without tiring at all. Super-humanly Dense Tissue: Thor's skin, muscle, and bone tissue have several times the density of the same tissue in the body of a human being, contributing to his superhuman weight. At full power he is invulnerable to powerful energy blasts, weighted impacts, falls from great heights, explosions and various other opposing forces. Even when he was stripped of his powers, he was still amazingly durable due to his dense body Near-Invulnerability: When he is at full power and armed with Mjölnir, Thor possesses nigh-invulnerability and immunity to human ailments as diseases, toxins, poisons, corrosion, fire, electrocution, asphyxiation, and lead and radiation poisoning. Superhuman Speed: Thor can move at extreme speeds. He can fly across the New Mexico desert in a matter of seconds. He can also swing Mjölnir at speeds so great that it seems like a blur to the naked eye. Superhuman Agility: Thor's agility, balance, and bodily coordination make him a great warrior in battle. He moves with incredible grace and speed despite his size and body density. Regenerative Healing Factor: Despite his astounding resistance to injury, it is possible to injure Thor. After seemingly being killed by the Destroyer and proving himself worthy of Mjölnir, Thor regained his full power and immediately healed himself in seconds. Superhuman Longevity: Thor, like all other Asgardians, is not truly immortal as it is possible to kill an Asgardian and other beings in the Nine Realms. It is more accurate to say that Asgardians are extremely long lived beings. Thor ages at a pace far slower than humans. He is more than likely born shortly before the last Great War between the Asgardians and the Jotuns. Making him at least 1,300 years old. Mortals' life spans are comparable to the blink of an eye to him. Master Combatant: Thor is the one of the greatest and most powerful warrior in Asgard. Second only to Odin, he is one of the most skilled fighters to ever walk the planet. Thor is trained in the arts of war and various fighting techniques by his teachers in Asgard. He is an expert marksman, and is masterful in all areas of combat, including hand-to-hand and various forms of weaponry available in Asgard with over centuries of combat experience Master Hammer Fighter: After centuries of practice wielding his hammer, Thor has become masterful in fighting with Mjölnir and is proficient in hammer throwing. Master Tactician: For over thousands of years, he has led Asgard and his friends into battle against forces with great leadership. Employing strategies and tactics from possibly every culture on Earth, as well as all the Nine Worlds of Asgard.
TONY STARK
IRON MAN
Real Name: Dr. Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark
Height: 6'0
Weight: 185 lbs.
Enhanced Name: Iron Man
Height: 6'6
Weight: 425 lbs.
Anthony Edward Stark was born to Howard and Maria Stark on May 29, 1970, but his early life was often dominated by the absence of his father who he would later describe as 'cold' and 'calculating'. At age four he built his first circuit board, at age six his first engine, and at seventeen he graduated summa cum laude from MIT. Starks parents were killed in a car accident in 1991. Howard Stark's lifelong friend Obadiah Stand became the CEO of Stark Industries. At age twenty-one that same year, Stark became the new CEO and ushered in a new era for his father's legacy, creating smarter weapons, advanced robotics, and satellite targeting. He changed the face of the weapons industry.
An inventive mechanical engineering prodigy, Stark is constantly creating new technology and looking for ways to improve it. Before becoming Iron Man, he had little concern for the effect his weapons had on others. Stark does an outgoing man who enjoys drinking and gambling, all the while still possess the capacity to become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics overnight. However, for all his flaws, Stark is a good man at heart and wants to use his technology to better the world.
Direct Cybernetic Interface: Thanks to the state-of-the-art microchips Stark injected into his left forearm he can now mentally control the Iron Man armor with his thoughts. Armor Link: Stark can mentally command the armor with his thoughts even when he was fully unconscious. Armor Summon: Thanks to the new repulsor flight system, individual pieces of the armor can self-assemble themselves on to Stark or others. Stark is able to remotely summon the Mark XLII to Pepper Potts for her to wear after his home is attacked by the Mandarin's forces. Indomitable Will: Stark has proven time and time again why he is called Iron Man. Stark shows a tremendous strength of will. When the Arc Reactor started to poison, him he found a cure in a diorama of the Stark Expo secretly left by his father, Howard Stark. Stark built small particle accelerators in his workshop which he used create a new element that saved his life. Genius Intelligence: At age four Stark built his first circuit board, at age six his first engine, and at seventeen he graduated summa cum laude from MIT. Stark later became one of smartest men in the world. Expert Engineer: Stark was able to create the Mark 1 Iron Man armor and the first miniaturized Arc Reactor, "With a box of scraps!" as stated by Obadiah Stane, while being held in captivity by the Ten Rings. Skilled Combatant: Stark is trained in unarmed combat and has become quite formidable on his own when the situation demands it. He was able to hold his own against Rhodey, a Lieutenant Colonel Air Force Combat Pilot.
Iron Man:
With the exception of the Mark I Iron Man armor, almost all of the Iron Man suits share a common design and capability set. The suit is a powered exoskeleton with armored plating, capable of enhancing the wearer's strength, speed, agility, and endurance. The suit is powered by a miniaturized Arc Reactor, either using the one surgically installed in Tony Stark's chest.
The armor helmet features a retractable visor that delivers a holographic, augmented-reality (AR) display to the wearer. The features of the helmet resemble a human face, with eyepieces and a mouth slit showing the point where the face plate meets the jaw.
The armor's primary weapons as well as mode of propulsion are repulsers built into the hands and feet. The foot repulsors provide the majority of the propulsion force, while the hand repulsors are used as flight stabilizers. Given the intense heat and concussive pressure produced by the repulsors, the ones built into the hands are often used as weapons. When need be, the unibeam repulsor built into the chest piece can be charged to deliver a powerful, destructive blast.
AGENT PHIL COULSON
Real Name: Phillip Daniel "Phil" Coulson
Height: 5'11
Weight: 174 lbs.
A son of Robert and Julie Coulson, Phil Coulson was born in Boston, MA, on July 8, 1964. Coulson lost his father at a very young age, and his mother is now deceased, and his brother was killed in action 2 years ago. His brother Matthew Coulson was a member of the Marine's Special Forces Squad called the "Black Angels," which to date is the most successful squad in military history. Coulson was recruited directly out of West Point to S.H.I.E.L.D. by Nick Fury. Fury served as his training officer. Coulson trained alongside John Garrett. Over the years Coulson has become a legendary agent within S.H.I.E.L.D. and one of Director Fury's most trusted agents.
Phil Coulson is essentially an everyman, the kind of man who is not far different from most ordinary people; especially compared to the super powered heroes he has come to associate himself with, but he is still unique and characteristic in his own subtle way.
Throughout his career, Coulson has shown an unquestioning loyalty and faith in S.H.I.E.L.D. Command.
Martial Artist: Agent Coulson is highly trained in the field of hand to hand combat. Expert Marksman: Agent Coulson is trained in the use of conventional firearms and weapons. Expert Tactician: He is a very effective strategist, tactician, and field commander.
COMMANDER HILL
THE BLACK ANGEL
Real Name: Maria Rose Hill
Height: 5'9
Weight: 167 lbs.
Deputy Director of SHIELD, Commander Hill served four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan in the Marines Special Forces. She is an excellent leader and very tactical in her decision making. She was the first woman to ever lead a Special Forces team.
Her test scores are the highest the military has ever seen. She was put on leadership track fresh out of training but denied it, choosing to serve in combat instead. Over the next couple years she moved up the rank relatively fast. She was a Captain of her own squad by the age of 24. After her 2nd tour in Iraq her squad earned the title, "The Black Angels."
Two years ago she was ordered to infiltrate a base on the outskirt of Afghanistan where the United States believed the enemy was producing nuclear weapons. When clearing the building her squad was exposed to a weaponized chemical bomb which gave off high levels of Gamma radiation. Captain Hill was the only survivor.
The US military then destroyed all their files pertaining to Captain Hill and her team. The few documents that have been uncovered paint a very disturbing picture of the US military. The military declared Captain Hill and her team as killed in combat. Captain Hill being the only survivor was then moved to an unknown location in Texas. Over the next six months Captain Hill was subjected to heinous experiments by General Thaddeus Ross, the same man actively seeking Dr. Bruce Banner.
General Ross believes that Captain Hill's survival of the Gamma exposure, which resulted in her heightened strength and speed, could be reproduced. General Ross believed, and still very much still believes that Captain Hill's biology is the key in the production of super soldiers.
Peak Human Strength: Commander Hill's physical strength is enhanced to the very peak of human potential. The strength that she acquired due to the Gamma exposure could be compared to Captain America's Super Soldier Serum. Peak Human Durability: Like Captain America's bone structure, Commander Hill' s bones and muscles are denser and harder than normal, which makes her very durable compared to a normal human. Peak Human Speed: Commander Hill can run and move at speeds that are far superior to any human. She has been tracked at speeds of 22 mph with ease but recently showed her true speed at the Stark Expo moving at a speed of 40 mph when under duress. Peak Human Stamina: Commander Hill's musculature produces less fatigue toxins during physical activity than the musculature of an ordinary human. Her body eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing chemicals in her muscles, granting her longer endurance and lung capacity. Peak Human Senses: Commander Hill's sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are all enhanced to the very peak of human potential. Commander Hill reports that her retinas are scared but have not inhibited her vision in the slightest. Commander Hill frequently wears protection eye wear which are combat wearable, bullet proof and have switch activated night vision. Peak Human Reflexes: Commander Hill's reflexes are enhanced to the very peak of human potential. It is believed that during combat situations and with more training Commander Hill's auto-reflexes will allow her to easily dodge gunfire and attacks even when not being consciously aware of them. Peak Human Healing: Commander Hill's ability to heal is currently unknown. Gunshots, broken bones and cuts on Commander's Hill's body are generally healed within five minutes. The high levels of Gamma exposure could have resulted in her advanced healing but it can't be proven without further testing. Advanced Tactician and Strategist: Commander Hill is an accomplished strategist. Her time leading the Black Angels has allowed her to be able to formulate battle strategies and her brilliant tactical sense allows her to alter any strategy to fit the changing need of the situation. Advanced Military Operator: Commander Hill is well-versed in all armed force disciplines including intelligence gathering, escape arts, demolition, survival tactics, swimming, mountaineering, march or drill skills, map making, map reading, communication systems and vehicles used in armed forces. THE UNKNOWN FACTOR: Commander Hill's abilities are greatly unknown. Her full capabilities and strengths cannot be determined without testing. Commander Hill has refused any testing, hence her any further powers and abilities remain a mystery.
THE AVENGERS INITIATIVE
The Avengers Initiative (PHASE 1) is a secret project created by SHIELD. The Avenger Initiative is a team composed of the previous individuals. A group of powerful beings that would respond to any dangerous global threats which are too great…
"Deputy Director Hill," the computerized assistant sounded pulling her from the file on the computer. "Director Fury has requested that I remind you that it is Tuesday and you are to report to conference room D in ten minutes."
Maria pulled her eyes away from the computer, her mind trying to process what she just read. The preliminary report in itself was unbelievable, shocking really. Her mind was sent reeling, finding it difficult to comprehend or process the information that she just read. Fury was trying to put together a team. A team that he wanted her to be a part of. How did she not know this?
And she just got through the bios of each proposed team member, including herself, which she was not impressed with, but what did the rest of the preliminary report propose? What was Fury's plan? Why was she not informed of this? Is this why he recruited her to SHIELD in the first place? Was he only after her abilities?
"Deputy Director Hill," the computerized assistant sounded again pulling her from her thoughts. "Director Fury is reporting that if you don't get to conference room D in the next five minutes then he can order you to mandatory therapy…"
"Jesus fucking Christ! Tell the Director that I am leaving now. Fucking man," she swore as she got up from her desk.
"I already have Coulson mothering me. I don't need his ass too," she mumbled walking towards the door.
"Computer please inform director Fury that I want to speak to him about the scrapped PHASE I Project as soon as possible," she called to her computer as she pressed the button to open her office door.
"Yes Commander Hill," sounded the computer as the door shut behind her.
Maria sighed as she walked with a fast pace to her destination. It was a ten minute walk to Conference Room D, which was at the other end of the ship. She would be late. Great.
Maria made it across the ship relatively quickly and was outside the door to the conference room. She lingered outside the open door to stare inside. There was twenty or so SHIELD Agents standing in a room talking to each other. Maria could see that some were already making their way to the chairs that were placed in a circle in the middle of the room.
Maria sighed. She really didn't want to be here.
"You gonna stand outside the door all night or are you going in?"
Maria jumped slightly at the voice behind her. She turned her head towards the voice and was instantly greeted with the sight of Natasha Romanoff leaning up against the wall next to the door, her lips quirking in a teasing smile.
"What are you doing here?" questioned Maria, accusation in her voice.
Natasha quirked an eyebrow at Maria's tone but the teasing smile never left her lips. She stared at Maria for a few seconds before pushing herself off the wall and walking towards Maria to stand next to her. Natasha stared inside the room, the SHIELD Agents were making it to their seats now.
"I'd imagine I am here for the same reason everyone else is," answered Natasha turning her head to give Maria a passing glance before walking into the room. "And Coulson makes me come," she called over her shoulder walking towards the chairs.
Maria watched her enter the room and join the rest of the Agents now sitting in a circle. The fact that no one even gave Natasha a passing glance as she sat down amongst the group let Maria know that Natasha must come to these on a regular basis.
Sighing, Maria steeled her nerves and walked into the room. It was this or therapy and there was no way in hell she was going to talk to a therapist.
She almost reached an open chair without anyone noticing her presence before she heard a hushed whisper.
"Holy shit, is that Commander Hill?"
A heavy silence settled over the room.
It took every ounce of willpower Maria had to not falter in her steps as unsettling eyes glanced in her direction. Some of the Agents were even shifting uncomfortably in their seat as she passed by them.
Maria finally made her way to an open chair and sat down, her body tense. She could feel every eye in the room on her. Maria glanced around the room silently and did in fact notice every eye in the room was on her, except Natasha.
Natasha sat across from her Indian style on her chair. She was currently enthralled with her nails. Even from this distance Maria could see the bright red nail polish decorating the woman's nails.
Whispers continued to swirl in the air around the small space. Maria's heightened hearing could pick up every word.
"What do you think she is doing here?"
"Think she suffers from PTSD?"
"She did do four tours. I heard the Black Angels got the hardest missions. She probably saw some rough stuff over there."
"I heard that the Captain of the Black Angels memorized the name of every fallen soldier that died while they were on tour. If that is true, that's a hell of a burden…"
"Sorry I am late everyone," echoed a voice and Maria looked up to see Phil walking into the room. She watched as he walked in with a smile, his eyes scanning the room. His blue eyes landed on her and lingered for a few seconds, surprise evident in them before moving on, clearly not wanting to put her in an awkward position.
"Okay Agents let's get started," he said moving to take one of the open chairs and sitting down. "I see a couple new faces so I am just going to go ahead and give you a brief rundown of what we do here. The purpose of this group is to help you all deal with your PTSD. Now while I believe this group can do wonders for all of you, I cannot guarantee your symptoms will be completely removed from your life, but this group can help you learn the skills to regain control of your life, manage your reactions and responses, and live a meaningful life. This is a safe place. There is no judgement in this group. Please feel free to share anything that you are struggling with, myself and the group will then try and help you the best we can."
Coulson looked around the room staring at everyone, making sure everyone was in tuned to his words. Everyone was, except Natasha, whom was still staring at her nails and ignoring everyone around her.
"Okay," nodded Coulson. "Anyone want to start?"
Coulson looked around the room, noting the how is normally active group was unusually quiet tonight. He sighed as he realized that many of the Agents were giving nervous glances towards the Deputy Director, her presence throwing them off.
"Agent Cotta," said Coulson finding one of his regulars in the group. "How about you tell the group your story and then if you have had any setbacks or successes lately?"
Agent Cotta tensed as he was called out by Coulson but sighed as he nodded.
"Hey guys my name is Agent Cotta. I'm 38 years old and have been a weapons technician with SHIELD for about 5 years. Before coming to SHIELD, I served in the United States Army for 6 years as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Specialist. Umm…let's see…" trailed off Cotta uncomfortably.
"I have been suffering from PTSD for about 8 years. I have a pretty tight lid on it now, thanks to this group but I still have setbacks every once in a while."
"Umm ya so," started Cotta stiffening in his chair a little as he stared around the group. "I saw a lot of shit over there. Some incidents in particular never left my mind. I watched my best friend, Frankie Sutton, a fellow EOD Specialist die. He was working on a particularly nasty IUD and we missed the trigger man. Even with the blast suit he didn't stand a chance…" his voice trailed off.
"Agent Cotta you don't have to continue if…"
"No its okay," interrupted Cotta shaking his head. "Like I said I have a pretty good lid on it now. It wasn't just Frankie, it was a lot of shit…the body bombs were also hard. Sometimes they would use kids…the same age as my daughter."
"When I returned home, everything from over there followed me back. Scenes from battle would run repeatedly through my mind and disrupt my focus on work. Filling up at the gas station, for example, the smell of diesel immediately rekindled the memory of a road side bomb."
"At other times, I had difficulty remembering the past — as if some events were too painful to allow back into my mind. I found myself avoiding socializing with my old military buddies, every time I was around them they would inevitably trigger a new round of memories. My wife complained that I was always pent-up and irritable. I was on guard all the time. At night I couldn't relax and frequently suffered from night terrors. It all became too much so…I started drinking, heavily."
"My wife…she threatened to leave if I didn't get help. So I went to the local VA and started participating in groups. My first step was making the decision to stop downing out my memories with alcohol. The group at the VA had me start discussing my combat experiences, and then I identified activities, people, sounds, and smells that I knew could trigger my PTSD. Knowing my triggers really helped me. As far as a recent success, last week I celebrated my six years of sobriety. "
Cotta stopped talking signaling to Coulson that he was done.
"Congratulation on your sobriety Agent Cotta. That is a good milestone. Now, I'm glad you brought up recognizing your triggers. Triggers is exactly what I wanted to concentrate today's group on. Now, a trigger is an event, object, or cue that elicits feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, or other types of distress."
Coulson paused as he stared around the group.
"Triggers are often harmless, but become associated with the original trauma. For most people with PTSD, triggers are not inherently dangerous, but remind them of their traumatic experiences. Certain sights, sounds, smells, physical sensations, places, activities, and situations can be triggers for people with PTSD and can produce a surge of anxiety and a strong urge to escape or avoid."
Coulson paused as he nodded towards Agent Cotta.
"Agent Cotta said knowing his triggers really heled him. This is because learning to recognize your triggers is an important part of PTSD treatment."
"Now for the rest of the group I want to go around and have everyone name one of your triggers. Try and concentrate on what triggered a feeling of fear, threat, anger or general discomfort in you this week. Some things will be obvious, like listening to the evening news, but others may be more subtle, the smell of a certain spice or the feeling of heat on your skin. There is no wrong answer here. All I ask is that you say one thing."
Coulson looked around the room making sure everyone was following along before continuing. "Okay everyone ready?" he asked getting a few nods around the room. "Agent Cotta since you already know a few of your triggers will you list one for the group, then I want us to move counterclockwise around the circle."
Agent Cotta nodded.
"Any exposed wires…"
The agent next to him shifted in his seat and spoke.
"Unexpected loud noises…"
"Crowded public places…"
"Trash in the road…"
"The smell of diesel fuel…"
"Helicopters flying overhead…"
Maria listened as each Agent listed their trigger as it went around the group. It went on like this for a few more Agents until landing on Natasha. The silence in the group seemed to echo through the room as everyone turned their head to see Natasha still staring at her nails not acknowledging any of them. Was she even listening?
"Agent Romanoff…" started Coulson
"The smell of black shoe polish," she answered interrupting Coulson but still looking down at the nails.
Maria's mind drifted back to a few days ago.
"I can still remember the smell of them and the way they felt when they collided with my body."
Natasha's words echoed in her mind and the rest of the world seemed to melt away. The thought of a small redheaded girl being stomped on by grown men played in her mind. A small girl, who still clung to the small belief that killing someone was wrong, was getting beat for that belief.
A wave of protectiveness filtered through Maria's body as the picture still continued to play in her head. She wanted so much to be there in that moment. To stop those men. To stop Natasha's pain.
But she can't stop time. She can't change the past. Just like she can't stop these feelings she has developed for Natasha.
Wait! What?! How did she even go there?
How did all of the sudden, in a group for PTSD did Maria finally notice that she at some points started developing feelings for Natasha. That the protectiveness she felt towards the woman wasn't just a Deputy Director wanting to shield her Agents away from pain but was rather a stronger, more powerful urge, a deeply personal one.
"Commander Hill?"
Phil's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. He was staring at her and for perhaps a split second the overwhelming emotions that raged through her body since recognizing her feelings towards Natasha seemed to suspend in the air, protecting her from having to acknowledge them. Everyone was staring at her, even Natasha who for the first time since group started was not looking at her nails.
"One of your triggers Commander?"
Maria stiffened in her chair as she quickly realized it was her turn and she had been so busy thinking about Natasha she hadn't really considered what she was going to say when it became her turn. Now she was put on the spot. Her mind went back to the incident in the bathroom. Staring at her reflection in the mirror…
"Blood."
The words left her mouth before she could even think about stopping them. After her announcement the eyes of every single person in the room now rested on her.
Maria had to fight the overwhelming urge to shift in her seat, the eyes that were now trained on her making her incredibly uncomfortable. So instead, she turned her head to stare at Natasha.
Natasha's green eye bored into her but unlike everyone elses gaze Natasha's was comforting. Maria watched as those emerald eyes seemed to burn brighter, nothing but acceptance and understand shining in those beautiful eyes. Natasha held Maria's gaze for a few more seconds before pulling her eyes away to stare back down at her nails, a look of nonchalance masking her face once again.
Coulson cleared his throat getting everyone's attention back to him, including Maria's.
"Recognizing your triggers and being able to train your brain not to react is one of the first steps in controlling your PTSD. Thank you all for sharing," said Coulson staring down at his watch for a second before bringing his eyes back up.
"Okay so we reached our time today. But before you leave I want to leave you with this. You were all trained in the form of combat. Your senses were trained to become more acute. You all see clearer and hear better. You were trained to enhance your senses because it in turn increases awareness, which can sometimes be the distinguishing factor in living or being killed in combat."
"But it is hard to discriminate between the dangers of combat and multitude of problems inherent in civilian life and as SHIELD Agents. As a result, you react to all kinds of situations as if they are actually dangerous and you stay on guard, anxious, vigilant, watchful, not letting anyone get close to you, resulting in feeling distant, different, unprotected, alone, and not safe. That is how PTSD is running your life today."
Coulson leaned forward in his chair, placing his forearms on his knees and leaning heavily on them as he stared around the room.
"This group can help you. The first step is recognizing you need help and you have all done that today just by being here. Hiding is easy, beating ourselves up is easy, denial is easy, self-medication is easy…but dealing with the pain, the emotions and having the courage to face your demons…that is harder."
Notes:
Well what do you guys think? FYI I am going to try and update this story every Tuesday and Friday :)
