Rio: Fear & Feathers in Las Vegas

Chapter 7: Where Are We?

Back on the plane, Nigel was slammed against the wall, and groaned. "Okay, now you are... huh? Aaaaaahhh!"

Before he could finish, a pile of boxes crashed onto Nigel, while the owl laughed. "Whoo-wee! Now, THAT is a domino effect, people! And, also... off to adventure!"

As he flew away before the hatch closed, Nigel growled, "After I kill Blu, he's next."

Blu could barely even think about what was going on elsewhere, because currently he was hanging on for dear life as he and his caged mate Jewel plummeted about 5,000 feet towards what seemed like iminant doom after the owl they met had accidentally unopened the plane's cargo latch.

"Blu, you have an bright ideas before we become blue pancakes?" Jewel managed to shout out as the two barrelled out of the sky like led bricks. Blu couldbarely hear anything besides his pounding heart beat as he finally realized the situation he was in. He was unable to fly, he was plummeting 5,000 feet, and his mate was trapped in a cage falling with him. Blu desperately began to fumbling with the lock holding Jewel in, his claws nervously slipping at every second. After all, how would you be able to concentrate while falling from thousands of feet?

"Blu, just relax!...I'm right here..." Jewel suddenly said, sounding surprisingly calm in such a situation they were in. Blu was just about to point this out before Jewel suddenly leaned forward and kissed Blu, his eyes popping open in the same fashion when she first did it. In fact, it all seemed too similar to Blu and Jewel...

Suddenly, as if on que, Blu popped the lock open, the opening even surprising Blu. Jewel quickly tumbled out of the cage, landing right onto Blu and sending the two somersaulting even closer to the ground.

"Now what do we do?" Blu yelled out as the two continued falling closer towards the ground below.

"How's about I be the hero this time and save us, hmm?" Jewel said with a smile as she quickly flapped her wings and suddenly the two began to slow down in falling speed, until suddenly Blu felt the two land on the...incredibly-hot and rocky surface.

"Well, I think I've had my share of terrifying experiences for the day..." Blu said as he brushed himselfoffandthenwincedonce he reached his possibly-broken wing.

"Hey, where's the others?" Jewel asked, referring to their friends that they had last seen back in the plane. Jewel's question was immeadiatley answered, as a loud screaming came echoing from above. As if on que, the reporter-bird Arthur then fell out from the clouds into view of Blu and Jewel, and then miraciously landed on a mattres only about 5 feet away from the two.

"Ow...That's the last time I skydive without a parachute..." Arthur muttered as he rubbed his aching head. Arthur's eyes shot open when he heard screaming coming from above him, and suddenly Jez came falling right from above him. Arthur, almost without thinking, dived forwardandquicklycaughtthe other Spix macaw in his wings.

"Wow...Nice to catch up with you, hehe..." Arthur said, his tone shakey and his eyes moving rapidly as if he was ready to melt right there.

"Nice catch, Artie..." Jez said with a smile, suddenly melting Arthur emotionally even more.

"Aww, it was nothin' Just a bit of athletic abilityandanyone could've done it...but thanks." Arthur stuttered, his voice cracking in nervousness in the prescence of a bird he was affectionate to. Before Jez could reply, another loud yell pierced across the sky, and then the source of it, Wally, then crashed on top of Arthur, the impact popping Jez out of Artie's wings and the reporter-bird feeling sore.

"You okay Arthur?" Blu asked as he scampered over to the mattress and helped Arthur out from under Wally.

"A little sore...but at least I got somewhere with your sis, eh?" Arthur said with a innocent smile on his face, to which Blu stared blankly at Arthur as if voicelessly scolding him.

"...Oh, sorry."

"Hey, where's Pedro and Robyn?" Blu asked, ignoring the exchange in the last few seconds. Immeadiatley after this, Pedro quickly popped his head out from above Blu.

"Right here, blue bird!" Pedro exclaimedenergetically.

"Yeah, thanks to that owl. If Blu hadn't opened my cage, we'd both be blueberry pancakes on the highway..." Jewel groaned, still not happy about the owl they met just a few minutes before.

"Amen to that, sister," agreed Arthur. "Now, uh, where the heck are we?"

Wally looked around the desert-like landscape, and said, "Hmmm... I think we're in Arizona."

However, Arthur shook his head. "No way, that's impossible..."

"Oh, really?" Wally crossed his wings, and faced his friend. "And, uh, who are you... Dora the Explorer?"

"Cute," said Arthur. "Look, I know exactly where we are, and it ain't Phoenix... we'reinEgypt."

Wally laughed, and said, "Egypt! Oh, gosh... dude, do you SEE a giant cat statue or a bunch of towering pyramids anywhere?"

"I didn't finish," growled Arthur. "We're in the 'middle' of Egypt... I bet if we go closer, we cansee at least one of the pyramids."

"Oh, sure..." said Wally. "So, we shouldbelieve a dead reporter's bird that we are in Egypt?"

Arthur frowned, and said, "Don't push it... besides, you should talk, seagull."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know, man," said Arthur. "All you birds do is go 'mine, mine, mine, mine', and look for crabs or fishes to eat!"

Wally frowned, and said, "Hey, that's not MY family, okay? We just look alike!"

Arthur laughed, and cried, "Dude, they are! There's not another type of seagull!"

"Oh, yeah?" cried Wally. "Well... uh... you used to wet the bed!"

When the seagull said that, Jewel and Jez began to chuckle, and Arthur yelled, "It's on now, white meat!"

"Bring it on, old man, bring it on!" yelled Wally, and at once, the two birds tackled each other, andbeganto wrestleon the ground.

Robyn, looking concerned, asked, "Shouldn't you do something, honey?"

"What for?" laughed Pedro. "These guys do stuff like this all the time... besides, I need a good laugh."

Jewel turned to Blu, who was smiling as he watched the bird fight, but after noticing her staring at him, he said, "What?"

"You know what I mean," said Jewel. "Go inthere, andstop them!"

"ME?" said Blu, with his eyes becoming wide. "Jewel, have you forgotten that I got my wing broken 'again' by Nigel?"

"Yeah, so?" said Jewel. "It doesn't mean you're handicapped... look, this isn't the time to fight, Blu, so, please, stop them."

Blu tried to argue, but when Jewel held up a feather, he said, "Oh, all right... hey, guys, comeon,knockit off!"

The two birds ignored him, so the young Macaw went a little closer, saying, "No, seriously, guys, come on, we need to stick together, stop this."

"One... second... amigo!" growled Arthur, who was gaining the advantage, but then, Wally got him in a head-lock. "Darn it!"

Blu looked back at Jewel, who urged him to continue, so he went closer to the two friends, and said, "Guys, if you don't stop in 3 seconds, I'm going to... whoa!"

All of a sudden, Wally got a suddenburstof strength, and tossed Arthur at Blu, with both of them flying a few miles across the desert-like ground.

"Blu!" Jewel quickly flew over to her mate, followed by the others, and when she reached him, she asked, "Honey, are you okay?"

As she helped him up, the young Macaw could see a bunch of planets twirling around his head, andina dizzying voice, he sang, "Neptune, Mars, Saturn, Pluto..."

Then, Blu fell back down the ground, while Wally went over to Arthur, and cried, "You got knocked the heck out! Ha, ha, ha... whoa!"

While the two were arguing with each other again, Jewel nudged Blu's body, and said, "Blu? You okay?"

"Uh..." In a slow move, the young Macaw began to get up, and after shaking his head, he replied, "Yeah, er, I'm fine... "

"Are you sure?" asked Jewel. "Look, Blu, maybe you should lie down, and rest."

"Rest?" said Blu. "I may have a broken wing, but I'm not handicapped, for Pete's sake!"

"No need to ruffle your feathers over it..." Jewel grumbled as Blu got up.

"Quite frankly, there is a need to! I got you all into another one of my messes and even worse, I've gotten my wing broken in the process and made friends with an owl who almost killed us all!" Blu exclaimed angrily as paced around constantly in circles.

"You couldn't have possibly predicted all of that! You should stop brooding and actually care about what's going on now!" Jewel responded back, her tone rising to a yell.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Blu fired back. While the two arguements occured and Pedro, Robynand Jez simply watched, two pigeons suddenly stopped in mid-air as they noticed the fighting nearby.

"Yo check it out, man! Public fight!" The first pigeon said with an accent that mirrored Bobby's as he quickly flew near Blu and Jewel.

"Livin' in the West sure has it's perks!" The other pigeon remarked, his accent sounding more Southern as he followed his buddy.

Before Blu and Jewel continued their arguing, they noticed the two pigeons had arrived and were already into it, chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" as the two Spix macaws were yellingat each other.

"Would you please leave? This is a matter that we'd like to discuss privately." Blu asked surprisingly politely compared to his tone to Jewel just before.

"It ain't private when we can hear you screamin' your 'matter' from across the road, blue bird." The Southern-sounding pigeon remarked as the two pigeons chuckled.

"Who exactly are you two anyway and why do you have the nerve to start chanting us to fight?" Jewel chimed in.

"Why, we're Boulder and Dash, best two pigeons you'll find in Clark County!" The Brooklyn-sounding pigeon responded energetically.

"Clark County?" Arthur asked from behind Blu and Jewel as him and Wally stopped tackling each other at the arrival of the new birds.

"Look, can you tell us where exactly we are? We kind of need to get back to Rio...where we belong." Jewel butted-in, wanting to get down to the point as quickly as she could.

"We're in Mexico, right? I can tell by all them palm trees!" Pedro exclaimed loudly as he flew front and center. The two pigeons shook their heads and laughed hysterically in response.

"Rio? Boy, you birds are a LONG ways from there...You guys are in a nice state called Nevada!" Boulder, the Southern pigeon said with a smile.

"Nevada?" Jez asked quizzingly, to which Boulder and Dash glanced at each other in amazed looks at the thought of someone not knowing what Nevada was.

"Just excuse her. She's from Canada. A little rusty on American geography..." Arthur said with a light laugh as he jumped in to help Jez's cause. Jez glanced at Arthur with a smile, and Arthur quickly smiled back nervously, realizing he was either making a fool of himself or making a good impression...either worked, he figured.

"Yes, Nevada! 36th state of the US that's filled with money, aliens and lots and lots of desert!" Dash replied at a lightning-fast pace.

"Nevada? Oh great, we're far from Rio, alright..." Blu said with a sigh.

"Relax baby bird! You can always fly back! After all, we all have wings." Boulder replied with an easy-going smile.

"You don't understand...he kinda got banged up after we were kidnapped..." Jewel explained, perking Blu's seemingly-broken wing up for the pigeons to see. Both Boulder and Dash reacted with winces at the damaged wing and then donned thoughtful expressions.

"Maybe we can get Franko to help 'em?" Boulder suggested.

"Franko? Who's Franko?" Blu askedimmeadiatley.

"He's the biggest bird in all of this here state! He could give ya a tour around and get you guys a way home!" Dash exclaimed excitedly. Jewel, however, quickly interjected at this statement.

"Tour? No no no, pigeon boy. We need to get back NOW. I have kids to take careof..."

"Relax girl! You're in the U.S. now! You've got to live a little!" Dash exclaimed as he quickly attemptedto pull Jewel by her wing, but he quickly tripped over from the mass of Jewel compared to his.

"Just take us to this Franko guy..." Jewel said with a groan.

"Alright then! C'mon everyone, next stop is Franko!" Boulder exclaimed as him and Dash flew off, with everyone following behind except Arthur and Blu.

"So, need a lift?" Arthur askedwitha smile.

"No Arthur, I can walk..." Blu said rather grumpily as he trudged along.

"Nonsense! Going up!" Arthur exclaimed loudly as he grabbed hold of Blu and then flew up, carrying the now-struggling Blu.

"Hey, you want to be a blueberry pancake? If you keep strugglin', you're ganna become onebyyourself..."

...

"How much longer?" Pedro whined as he flapped alongside Robyn, who were flying along with the rest of the group as they followed Boulder and Dash towards this 'Franko' person.

"Just calm down, honey. These guys know where they're going...at least I hope..." Robyn grumbled as they listened to the faint banter the two pigeons were exchanging ahead of them. Currently, Boulder and Dash were conversing with Arthur, Blu and Jewel ahead of them.

"So, you guys are from Rio, huh?" Boulder asked Blu attentively.

"Yes...We were enjoying our honeymoon in Niagra Falls before this cockatoo we met three years ago kidnapped us..." Jewel groaned.

"That sounds heavy. Ya know, it must be awesome living in Rio! Is it as musical and colorful as they make it look on TV?" Dash asked excitedly.

"Not even close! Everything's so bright and colorful, and there's more birds than you can count!" Blu exclaimed, still remembering how beautiful Rio was when he first arrived, his whole body quivering at the thought of having to mate with another one of his kind. He never would even be able to predict that he'd be with the bird he loved and friends that loved him three years from then.

"You know something, you sound alot like that guy who played Mark Zuckerburg in that Facebook movie." Boulder stated as he pondered to remember the voice of the actor who played Mark Zuckerburg in The Social Network.

"The Social Network? You mean Michael Cera?" Dash asked, now confused in what his friend meant.

"That wasn't Michael Cera. He looks and sounds like Michael Cera, but he isn't."

"So...he's exactly like Michael Cera, but isn't him?"

"Isn't his name Jesse Eisenburg?" Arthur offered, equally as confused over the matter.

"No, it was Michael Cera." Dash butted-in, now sounding defensive.

"No, it wasn't him."

"Yes it was!"

"Then who does Blu sound like?"

"Not Michael Cera! He sounds like that guy who played Mark Zuckerburg in The Social Network!"

"Yes! Michael Cera!"

Finally, Blu had clearly had enough of the banter over what he sounded like.

"Look, it doesn't matter who I sound like! Can we just get to where we're going so we can see our kids again?" Blu asked with a somewhat-annoyed tone.

"Chillax, buddy! We're already here!" Dash exclaimed as him and Boulder quickly descended down to a stop directly in front of a bus stop with a pay phone next to it.

"So...where's Franko?" Jewel asked, now starting to suspect these pigeons were idiots and led them nowhere.

"He's here. Lemme just call 'em...Yo Franko, you here?" Dash shouted out, to which everyone but Jewel jumped at the projection of the pigeon's voice.

"-look, it doesn't matter. I'm not helping you with this. Your problems aren't mine!" A voice shouted that sounded metallic and nearby. Everyone quickly realizedit sounded like it came from the pay phone in front of them.

"TALKIN' PAY PHONE!" Pedro shriekedloudlyas he bolted behind Robyn for protection, who rolled her eyes in embarassment of her mate acting moronically. Wally, believing this accusation to be true, walked slowly towards the pay phone with a dignified look on his face and a sensible tone as if he really though the pay phone was talking.

"Oh wise Franko, may you tell us birds, the receivers of your call, how to get back to Rio de Janeiro?" Wally asked with an absolutely serious tone, to which Jewel smacked herself in the face in embarassment at the seagull's stupidity.

"Franko isn't a pay phone, crazies! Franko!" Boulder shouted loudly.

"What? Sorry Deep Throat, gotta call ya later...Boulder, that you?" The same voice yelled, the source of the voice finally sticking his head out from the inside of the pay phone. The voice belonged to a small, blue and white bird. In fact, from what Blu could, the bird was a blue jay. The blue jay quickly fluttered down and then landed in front of Boulder and Dash with a smile.

"Boulder! Dash! Where have you two been, fools?" The blue jay said with a voice that sounded strangely like Chris Rock as he hugged Boulder and Dash enthuesiastically.

"New buddies, meet Franko! Best bird you'll find in this state!" Dash exclaimed as he motioned to the blue jay, who jokingly took a bow and then walked up to Blu and stuck out his wing to shake.

"Nice to meet new guys! So, you here for the money or the tan? 'Cause I can see you already have yo selves some babes!" Franko said with a sly smile as he spiraled up to Blu's head and then shot a wink to Blu, who smiled nervously, not sure how to respond. Arthur suddenly smiled widely and then positioned himself closer to Jez, realizing Franko was referring to him most likely.

"Actually uh...Franko, we're here to get help from you on how to get back to where we came from." Blu stuttered. Franko suddenly donned a confused expression and then fluttered back a bit to inspect Blu and the rest of the birds.

"You guys are tourists? Huh...you sure don't look like 'em." Franko said with a puzzledtone.

"That's the second time someone's told me that..." Blu muttered to himself, referring to the very first conversation he ever had with Pedro and Nico back when he was stuck in a cage when he arrived in Rio de Janeiro.

"We're actually from Rio, and accordingto these two wingdings you can help us get back." Jewel evaluated as Franko inspected the rest of the group.

"Oh, I gotcha! Yeah, I'll get you there in a snap! Easy bus ride away!" Franko exclaimed as he spun up to the bus stop sign and posed atop it.

"Bus ride? You do realize where exactlyRio is, right?" Jewel asked in disbelief, not understanding how Franko could possibly think it was a 'easy bus ride away'.

"'Course I do! You think I ain't been around?" Franko laughed as he perched himself atop Blu's head, who glanced above him at the blue jay.

"So, where are we going to get a bus?" Blu asked, and as if on cue a tour bus immeadiatley pulled up in front of the group.

"Wow. Good timing." Blu said with a smile and an impressed tone.

"Only the best for a new friend of mine!" Franko said with a grin, when he suddenly donned a puzzled expression.

"Ya know somethin', you sound alotlike that guy from The Social Network..."

"Michael Cera?" Dash offered, immeadiatley receiving a dark expression from Boulder.

"JESSE EISENBURG!" Boulder yelled in response. Dash frowned back and then joined in once again.

"MICHAEL CERA!"

Blu and Jewel both groaned in a show of annoyance and then glanced at Franko, who now had a disapproving look on his face.

"Do they do this alot?" Blu asked, to which Franko snickered.

"Ya know, I like you! You're funny! I like funny guys!" Franko said with a wide grin as he wrapped his wing around Blu's head chummily as if they'd known each other for years, which frankly creeped both Blu and Jewel out.

"Alright, next stop is Paradise! Let's go Rioites!" Franko exclaimed as he fluttered atop the huge tour bus, who's engine began to sputter into ignition. Everyone quickly took off from the ground and landed on top of the bus...except Arthur and Blu. Arthur glanced at Blu with a grin, conveying the suggestion of carrying him, to which Blu groaned in response.

"Fine...carry me..." Blu mumbled with a closed beak.

"What was that?" Arthur asked with a smug smile.

"CARRY ME!"

Author's Note: Don't forget to review! And also, who is glad that I brought this story back? :-D