Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING that you read here.
Warning: sensitive material ahead
We pulled up to Lonnie's apartment building and BINGO, there was his former property sitting parked looking all red and shiny. Like an apple ripe for the picking. And that was just what I was going to do. I was going to pick Lonnie's car.
We walked to the door, Kagome knocked, and I stood to one side and put my waddya lookin' at face on. Sure enough, the same hairy stoner I remembered opened the door. Only thing was, he was armed. Shotgun. But hey, I reasoned, I had a forty-five at my hip. I upholstered.
"I know who you are. And you sure as hell aren't makin' off with Doreen."
"Doreen?" I asked.
"Yeah. Doreen. The little red honey parked outside.
Okay, add crazy to hairy and stoner.
Kagome leveled with him on the regular missed payment bullshit, but Lonnie wasn't buying. He raised his shotgun at Kagome. She remained calm, staring down the barrel of a 12ga. Props for her; I'd have pissed my pants by now. Apparently she knew something I, and especially Lonnie, didn't.
"Ain't you gonna scream and run away?"
"No," she told him, "I think I want your keys."
Lonnie looked puzzled. This wasn't supposed to happen. He poked her in the chest with the barrel. I leveled my pistol at his face, "One more move, and I'll make sure you never have children. However fucked up they may be."
"Fuck you I ain't afraid of you." And he pulled the trigger.
Nothing. Not a spark. Kagome didn't flinch.
"The hell?" both me and Lonnie said.
"You may have a big fancy gun," Kagome told him, "But you forgot one crucial item."
"What?" Lonnie said, dumbfounded.
"Ammo. You didn't load the damn thing."
"Oh. Well shit."
I raised my gun at him, "That means I'm legal to use deadly force.
Lonnie squealed and made for the door. I aimed high, over his head just to scare the dirty bastard, and opened up. I tagged a lamp and a few family photos before I was done. When he tried to make for a back room, I leveled at him once more. He froze and looked at me in terror.
I had an idea, "I know what you're thinking," I said, "Did he fire six shots, or only five? Well to tell you the truth, with all this excitement and confusion and you being a dumbass, I lost track myself. And seeing how this here is a forty-five magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow you head clean off, you have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky? Do you punk?"
Kagome still had a straight face, although her lips were cracking upwards. Lonnie was giving me the 'what the hell are you' look. His shaking hand finally handed over the keys to me.
"Now," I told him, "Let's not try this kind of shit again."
He nodded and retreated. Damn if I didn't make a good Dirty Harry.
Kagome beat me back to the office. I had to go to the impound and return the government's property in the form of one shiny red dodge. Kagome, Yura, and Miroku were in the lobby, laughing their asses off.
"Did you really go all Dirty Harry on Lonnie?" Miroku asked.
"Nothin' wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot."
Kagome spoke up, "Well we'd love to spend all evening sitting here, talking about how badass he is, but we need to go."
We got home, kicked our shoes off, I put a pizza in the oven, and we settled down in front of the TV. I thought about the other night. How far would we have gone if my brother hadn't knocked? Where would we be in ten minutes? It wasn't that I was nervous; my love life was out of practice. It's hard to keep up on something that doesn't exist. Although I really wanted to fall between the sheets with this girl, my instincts told me to play it slow.
However, when she got up from her spot on the couch, only to relocate to mere millimeters from me, my instincts took a backseat. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sitting with you. Something wrong?"
Not yet but there will be in a few minutes. I wondered if I should move. If I should be the good guy and try to preserve her purity as long as possible. Until after she got married. Granted that would be to me if I had any say in the matter, but should I be considerate and wait?
But all thoughts ceased when that smell reached my nostrils. Arousal. Pure, sweet, raw arousal. The kind that made the people in the cartoon's heart go 'thump, thump' two feet out of their chest. I looked over and saw her eyes had once again dilated dark chocolate.
Well hot damn.
She crawled closer, "That Dirty Harry bit today really was something," she said, "I'd never seen that side of you."
And I've never seen this side of—wait, never mind. Was this finally it? Was this the moment I had been waiting a whole week for? She plastered her face onto mine.
That was when all thoughts stopped. This was primal kissing, all out tongue war. And she was winning. I finally pulled away and gave her a look, asking are you sure? She responded by wriggling out of her shirt leaving only a bra between me and paradise. Well that answered my question.
She grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest. Then she slammed her face back into mine. I molded her to fit my palm. She was so soft. She responded by cupping the bulge that was rapidly growing in my jeans. I moaned into her mouth and squeezed her breast a little harder. Soon it was only me that had any sort of top on, although she remedied that in one swoop.
We fell into the bed, touching, tasting. I took my mouth to her skin, tasting every inch of her. She arched and cried out. This was it. The big 'O'. And just when I thought the coil in my stomach couldn't get any tighter, it snapped. (A.N a full on lemon wouldn't be Janet's style.)
I woke up in a fog. I remembered having the most wonderful dream. That kagome and I had finally gone full circle. I looked up to find a naked woman on my chest. So it wasn't a dream.
She looked up at me and smiled, "Hey."
"Hey." I said. Stupid, stupid. All I could say was hey?
"Well that was…fun." I finally amended.
"Yeah, it was."
"Does this mean that we're officially, you know, together now." I suddenly felt like I was in highschool again.
"I suppose it does."
Goody, goody, goody. I had finally succeeded in making her mine. And I had no intentions on letting this one get away. I was in it for the long haul, I thought. Maybe the next sixty years. But it wouldn't be so bad. At least she would be there.
I ate breakfast with a stupid grin on my face. I would have to practice looking normal before heading into work. You know what they say; 'only one thing puts a smile like that on a person's face'. And they would be right, but I had no intentions of being another example.
Kagome smiled at me, "You really need to wipe that grin off your face."
"You should talk." I said. She had one twice as big.
She put her hands to her face and blushed. Damned if she wasn't cute when she was embarrassed.
We walked into the office and stopped. We double checked our faces and proceeded to do the necessary filing since Yura had no current urgent files and Naraku was found, just waiting to be busted. We were going to resume surveillance on him after we did our morning paperwork.
All was going well until the pervert opened his mouth, "Well, somebody got some last night. And don't try and hide it. It's all over your faces."
Damn, the smiles were back. We'd tried so hard. It had almost worked. Yura towed Kagome to the side, no doubt going through the customary "girl talk" that followed a sexual encounter. Miroku pulled me to the side.
"So, how was it?"
"I'm not telling you of all people. You'll never let it go."
"Please? Just this one favor?"
"Fine. It was fantastic. Never felt so good in my life. Happy?"
"Extremely."
Kagome and I were in my Camaro, headed to Jersey when I spoke up.
"Did Yura grill you?"
"Yeah, she means well though. Miroku?"
"The pervert wouldn't shut up until I told him."
"What did you tell him?"
"That it was the best night of my life. You?" I blushed bright red.
"Same." She also resembled an apple. And not the iPod apple.
"We've only known each other for about a week. How did this happen so fast?" I asked.
"I don't know. There's just something about you that fascinates me. Maybe your lifestyle. Maybe your personality. Most likely your ears though. I wanted them bad."
"Oi!" I whined playfully. She giggled.
"So the badass recovery agent has a dark side?" I asked.
"Oh you have no idea." She winked at me. Oh boy, oh boy.
We parked outside Naraku's warehouse and went around back. There were armed guards at the doors now.
"Must be a big shipment today," I said, "Lots of incriminating evidence on a lot of people."
"I'll have my notepad ready." She said.
I looked in the window and found Naraku and the bitch talking to two guys in suits. One was normal, the other had pink hair and wore a hot pink tuxedo. Was he a pimp?
I cracked the window so I could hear them talk.
"We need 200 kilos by next week." Normal suit said.
"Not a chance," the bitch told him, "two weeks, minimum."
Pinkie spoke up, "Now you just listen to me. We will have that stuff by next week or you are toast."
He spoke with a lisp. And he wore a pink suit. He was worse than a pimp, he was a fruit. A flaming fruit.
"Shut it Jakotsu," Normal guy said, "We're reasonable."
"You shut it Bankotsu," Jakotsu said, "I want my money."
"And you'll get it," Naraku said, "Just as soon as…"
There was an earth-shattering explosion.
"What the hell was that?" the bitch asked.
"Some junkies set fire to a car and it blew up," a guard said, "A red Camaro. A nice one too."
I felt myself about to cry. I really liked that car.
Please R&R I know I rushed things a little, but it was all part of the plan. There is a method to my madness. Besides, in her earlier works, Janet had decided who was going to end up with whom in the first ten pages. They were real honest-to-God romances. And that is what I'm trying to do here.
