The Great Disney Adventure III: Heroes and Villains
A Disney story by talking2myself
DISCLAIMER: See Chapter 1.
Chapter. 8 A Plague of Fangirls
THEBES
DISNEY GREECE
PRESENT DAY
"PULL!" Hades roared.
Pain and Panic scrambled to do their master's bidding. They lifted up a heavy Greek urn with Hercules's smiling face painted on it. They heaved it up into the air. The urn spun once before Hades launched a fireball at it, shattering it into pieces.
Meg sat off to the side watching Hades temper tantrum with an amused smile. Hades had been in a very foul mood lately. He had decided to return to Greece and focus his efforts on defeating Hercules since Kelsey was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, Hades was not succeeding. Hercules was Thebes's newest celebrity. She wasn't sure what annoyed him more. The fact that Hercules was doing so well or the fact that he hadn't found Kelsey. Either way, she knew that he would much rather be cracking their heads together than blowing pots to smithereens.
CRASH! Meg shook her head as broken pieces of pottery rained down on them and Hades's minions struggled to lift another urn. "Nice shooting, Rex," she commented.
"I can't believe this guy!" Hades cried in frustration. "I throw everything I've got at this guy and he doesn't even…" Hades froze suddenly. The only sound that they could hear was a faint squeaking noise. Hades looked down at his minion, Pain. The demon was anxiously rocking back and forth, wearing a new pair of sandals. Hades glared down at him.
"What…are…THOSE?" he demanded.
Pain looked incredibly nervous. The sandals were Air-Hercs. He was in trouble! "Uhm… I don't know," Pain stammered anxiously. "I thought they looked kinda… dashing." He rocked back forth.
Hades drew a deep breath and took a step closer to Pain. His shadow dwarfed his minion, "I've got 24 hours to get rid of this… bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up… for 18 years… goes up in smoke…!" Hades hair was glowing red hot the more he spoke. His eyes were blazing red as he glared at Pain. "and you… are wearing… HIS MERCHANDISE?"
Hades would have pelted Pain down into the ground, but they were interrupted by another noise.
Sluuurrp.
Hades whirled around to glare at his other minion, Panic. Panic was sipping a large cola… with Hercules's face on the bottle. Panic felt Hades's eyes on him. He immediately stopped drinking and chuckled nervously. He timidly offered Hades the bottle, "Thirsty?"
Hades stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a frustrated roar
"ARRRRRGHHHH!"
-888-
It was a beautiful day to be on The Ocean. Jack had to appreciate that, even though they were facing all varieties of chaoes and mayhem. They were still free. Which was all a pirate could ask for. Jack was lounging on his deck, a bottle of rum in one hand. Meanwhile, a short distance away, Emma was still fiddling with dice. He grinned at the child. Once she masters the game, I'll have to take her gambling. No one would suspect a little tyke like Emma of cheating. Jack chuckled at the thought and took another sip of rum. Kelsey would LOVE that.
Jack and Emma were lounging on the deck when they heard a loud BANG! Echo from nearby shore. Jack bolted upright. For a moment, he swore that the entire earth had shook and a volcano had erupted just offshore. Jack looked at his bottle of rum, shook his head and then tossed it over the side of the ship.
"KELSEY!" Emma wailed. She raced to her cousin and clung to the side of her leg. "Did you SEE that?"
"Yeah," Kelsey sighed letting one of her hands drop to Emma's shoulders. "We managed to come visit Greece in the middle of earthquake season. Typical."
"You sure that's what caused it?" Rob asked anxiously gazing at the horizon.
"What else could cause so much at once?" Kelsey asked.
Rob shrugged, "Angry gods?"
"Hmmph," Kelsey remarked, "They'd have to be pretty angry."
A few seconds later, Will and Elizabeth emerged on the deck. "What on earth was that?" Elizabeth cried.
"Just a little bit of seismic activity," Kelsey said dismissively, "Nothing to worry about."
"Oh yes," Rob grumbled, "The entire world could erupt in earthquakes. But it's nothing to worry about."
"Not unless, The Thirteen is behind it," Kelsey said, "Mother Nature's got nothing on them."
"So we're all set to go ashore then?" Will asked, still not convinced.
"Yep, ready when you are," Kelsey said, "I must say I'm looking forwards to this meeting. I don't have to wear a ridiculous dress."
"And the prisoner?" Will asked.
"Under lock and key," Kelsey said quickly, nearly cutting Will off.
The others might have been polite enough to not draw attention to Kelsey's uncomforted face, but Rob was not so tactful. "Okay… seriously, what is your problem with him?" Rob asked.
"Do you want the short list or the long?" Kelsey snapped at her brother, warning flaring in her eyes.
"You've been avoiding him like the plague lately…" Rob continued.
"Get ready to disembark!" Kelsey cut Rob off quickly, "Unless you want to stay here and babysit him."
The rest of them watched as Kelsey returned to her cabin to fetch The Book. "She's nuts!" Rob cried, "Even for her!"
"Aaron must have said something to upset her," Elizabeth shrugged.
"Pretty sure he'd be dead if he said anything bad enough to rattle Kelsey," Will pointed out, "This seems like some other sort of concern."
They stood there thinking for a moment before Jack said, "You don't suppose… that… that they…?"
"That they what?" Rob asked. Jack shrugged feebly and made a kissing gesture with his lips.
"That they KISSED?" Will cried, disgust evident all over his face, "That's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard!"
"Just saying…" Jack shrugged.
"STOP saying!" Will insisted, cringing.
Rob had a pained expression on his face, "I'm going to go to my cabin," he said quietly, "I'm going to lock the door, get my video game, and pretend that this whole conversation… NEVER HAPPENED!"
"Agreed," Elizabeth said as she and Will turned to do the same thing.
"Oh jeez!" Jack groaned, "Make ONE suggestion!"
-888-
The crew actually spent one more night on the ship before they arrived in Greece. Meanwhile, Pain and Panic had a night filled with… well… pain and panic, and the next morning Hercules found himself wanting to hop aboard the next ship and sail as far from Thebes as possible.
"I told ya, DON'T MOVE!" the artist snarled. Hercules jumped and immediately resumed his pose. He was posing for yet another piece of pottery. This time he wore a lion skin draped over him, one that bared a strange resemblance to Thirteen member, Scar. Hercules hated the whole idea. He didn't wear lion pelts or use clubs. Besides that, Scar was NOT dead. Hercules didn't like the idea of provoking the Thirteen.
Hercules quickly resumed his pose while Phil continued to rattle off his schedule for the day.
"…D.G.R. Daughters of the Greek Revolution," Phil continued.
"Phil!" Hercules piped.
"And at 3:00, we gotta get a girdle from some amazons," Phil's eyebrows rose up and down at the thought.
"PHIL!" Hercules cried in frustration. "WHAT'S THE POINT?" he flung his club and shield knocking the artist's pot. The artist smudged the picture and let out a wail of frustration.
"IEEEE! That's IT!" he cried, scribbling all over the pot and packing up his supplies.
Phil rolled his eyes, "Keep your toga on pal!"
The artist's response was to bring his palette down on Phil's face before storming off. Phil groaned as his face was covered in paint, making him look very clown like. He groaned before turning to Hercules, "What do you mean what's the point? You want to get to Olympus don't you?"
"Yeah," Hercules admitted, "But this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere!" He tossed the lion pelt aside in frustration.
"You can't give up! I'm counting on ya!" Phil cried, wiping his face clean with the pelt.
"I gave this everything I had," Hercules sighed.
Phil gazed at his young student sadly before coming to his side. "Listen to me, kid. I seen 'em all. And I am tellin' you - and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth - you got somethin' I never seen before."
Hercules looked up at him and offered him a small smile, "Really?"
"I can feel right down to these stubby bow legs of mine," Phil smiled, "There is nothing you can't do kid." He chucked his student's chin playfully. This finally brought a full smile on Hercules's face.
AHHHHHHH!
Suddenly, their touching teacher-student moment was interrupted by the sound of screaming girls. There was a large group of them standing in the doorway... and they were ALL screaming for him. They raced forwards eager to see Hercules. "Easy! Easy!" Phil cried as the girls shoved him aside and tackled Hercules to the ground.
"I touched his elbow!" one girl wailed.
"I GOT HIS SWEATBAND!" Another cried triumphantly as she clung to his shoulders and waved it about. This only caused the girls to crush Hercules to the ground trying to get ahold of the sweatband.
While Hercules was being mobbed by a crowd of girls, he could hear one very distinct voice rising over the others.
"This is ridiculous! Move over! Excuse me! I have an appointment! Yes, I need to see the poor boy you're smothering. Oh for crying…! THAT DOES IT!"
In the next second, he heard someone hum a tune tersely and a blast of water hit Hercules and the girls sending them flying. Hercules managed to untangle himself from the pile as he caught a glimpse of his visitor. Kelsey was standing there glaring at the girls. She handed The Book to Emma as she shook her head.
"If there's one thing that I hate more than princesses, it's fan girls!" she scowled.
"Kelsey!" he yelped.
"Kid!" Phil cried, "Escape plan beta!"
"Gotcha!" Hercules replied.
Phil quickly scurried to the door where Kelsey stood and blew a quick whistle. The girls glanced up and Hercules was gone. "Hey! Where'd he go?" one cried.
"There he goes on the veranda!" Phil cried.
The girls screamed and turned directions. They charged out, sweeping up Emma and Kelsey with them. "HEY!" Kelsey roared, "WAIT UP! STOP!"
"Put me down! Put me down!" Emma yelped, "Kelsey! What do I do?"
"Just play dead!" Kelsey yelled back, "They can smell fear!"
Phil jumped as soon as he realized it was Kelsey. "Kid!" he cried, "Hold on! I'll help you! Try not to get trampled until I get there!"
As he ran after the mob, a figure closed the door behind them. Megara. She searched the room making sure that there was no one there. Then, she spied Hercules's toes sticking out from a curtain. She smirked as she made her way over to him.
"Let's see… what could be behind curtain number one?" she asked with a game show host bravado.
"Meg!" he cried in surprise.
"It's alright," Meg smiled, "The sea of raging hormones has ebbed."
"Gee, it's great to see you," Hercules smiled sheepishly, "I missed you."
"So this is what heroes do on their days off?" Meg asked as she lounged on one of Hercules's sofas and examined the numerous toys based off him.
"I am no hero…" Hercules said modestly.
"Sure you are," Meg said examining a pot, "Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita."
Hercules chuckled, but both jumped as they heard the door open again.
"Will's gonna be mad when he finds out that you shot sparks at the fan girls," Emma was telling Kelsey reproachfully.
"That's why we're not gonna tell Will," Kelsey snapped as she dusted off her clothes. "Besides, those idiots are lucky I didn't resort to fireballs." She quickly took back The Book from Emma. She looked it over making sure it was still in one piece.
At that moment, Kelsey caught sight of Meg. "Oh!" she cried, "I'm not… interrupting anything… am I?" Her final words sounded more like an accusation than she had intended.
"Kelsey!" Hercules cried hurrying to her side, "This is the best day ever"
"Yeah, maybe for you," Kelsey retorted. Hercules hugged her tightly. "Herc..Herc! AIR!" Hercules immediately released Kelsey and set her back down.
"Sorry about that," he said.
"No problem," Kelsey said massaging her sore neck, "I need your help."
"My help?" Hercules asked.
"Yes," Kelsey said, "I'm assembling a team to take out the local villain coalition in The Kingdom."
"The Thirteen?" Hercules frowned.
"You've heard of them?" Kelsey asked.
"Of course," Hercules said, "Most of the monsters I defeat were sent by them."
"I believe that," Kelsey frowned, "Hades is one of them, which is why I need you to take him out."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Hercules asked, "I could probably lend a hand." Meg jumped at the thought of Hercules leaving too soon.
Kelsey thought about it for a moment before shaking her head, "No. I need some sort of plan first. I can't just attack all willy-nilly. I don't want to upset the plotlines too much. After all, if you leave, Hades will know we're up to something and strike us down. Just be prepared to help if I need it."
"Of course," Hercules insisted, "It must have been a long journey for you. Won't you stay in the villa for a few nights?"
"I'd like to," Kelsey admitted, "But we have a very strict time schedule. I need to get to England. Someone there must know how to take out, Cruella. Besides," she glanced at Meg with a knowing smile. "You seem a little busy."
"I haven't done anything wrong," Meg insisted.
"Of course," Kelsey said, "Because if you did, you would have to answer to me. And you wouldn't like that."
Meg scoffed at the threat, "Should I be afraid?"
"Why don't you go ask those fan girls what I'm capable of?" Kelsey smiled. "Relax, I set you two up to begin with. Remember?" Hercules blushed and Meg looked away anxiously.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, Herc," Kelsey said, "It's lovely to see you, but I must go collect the rest of my crew. They're busy playing tourist."
"You're sure you can't stay longer?" Hercules asked in disappointment, "Maybe check out the souvenir stands?"
"KELSEY!" they heard Emma cry out, "They have Hercules dolls! You need to buy me one!"
"They're action figures, Emma," Rob grumbled.
"Same thing," Emma shrugged.
"Are not!"
"What's the difference?"
"One's not girly and has the potential to be sold for millions of dollars!"
"Wow, you action figure guys are really getting ripped off huh?" Emma piped. Kelsey heard Rob groan outloud.
Kelsey shook her head before turning to Hercules, "I wish we could stay longer, but I need to get going." She smiled at Hercules, "Thanks for all your help. You have no idea how much it means to me right now."
"Of course," Hercules smiled, "If you need anything just call."
Kelsey beamed, "Thanks. Now, we really must be on our way." Kelsey turned and headed outside. "Emma!" she yelled, "What do you need a Hercules doll for? You've seen the real thing!"
"Action figure!" Rob retorted.
"Same difference, Rob!" Kelsey rolled her eyes.
"Is NOT!"
-888-
As Kelsey and the rest of her party turned to leave, Hercules chuckled, "It's crazy," he said to Meg, "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed."
"Ah, you sound like you need a break," Meg said, picking up an action figure of Phil. "You think your nanny goat would go…" She squeezed the action figure and the eyes popped out. "Berserk if you played hookie this afternoon?"
"Oh gee," Hercules said anxiously, "Phil's got the rest of the day pretty much booked."
"Oh Phil Schmil," Meg whined, "Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone!"
-888-
Later that evening, Meg waited in the gardens of Thebes for her boss. She frowned as she clutched a white flower anxiously. The plan had suddenly changed. She had taken Hercules on the date with the intention of discovering his weaknesses. Unfortunately, when the moment happened, she couldn't do it.
A year before, Meg had met Kelsey for the first time. She had eagerly encouraged her to start a relationship with Hercules. At first, Meg had dismissed her suggestions as foolish, but now she was beginning to see what Kelsey had seen. He had been such a good person during their date. He was charming. He was a sweet genuine guy. And she needed to protect him.
Suddenly, the gardens shook as Hades emerged from a statue. "Hey what's the buzz huh Meg?" he smiled. "What's the weak link in Wonderboy's chain?"
"Get yourself another girl!" Meg snapped, "We're through."
Hades stared at her in disbelief, "I'm sorry. Do you mind running that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something…"
"Then, read my lips!" Meg yelled, "Forget. It."
"Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion," Hades said with a falsely sweet smile, "Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail?" He clutched her chin and then burst into flames. "I OWN YOU!"
Meg had to think quickly. "But I did find something else out…"
"Oh yeah?" Hades asked.
Meg paused for a moment. She didn't really want any danger to befall Kelsey, but if there was a chance that she could distract Hades away from Hercules for even a few moments, she had to take it.
"I know where Kelsey is," she said softly, "And I know where she's going."
