Pull The Trigger

Chapter 7

Finally having him back means a lot to Sasuke. He hasn't realized how much he's missed him. It's like he's just discovered that the voices in his head and the dreams and the people in the corners of his eyes when he's tired are all this one person, this one person who's been haunting him, but in a pleasant sort of way.

After the incident in the bedroom when Sakura nearly caught them together, he's sure to be more careful though.

One day when he's eating a late dinner he talks to Sakura. Her parents are out for the evening and they've left lasagna to be heated up in the oven for their daughter and foster child. Luckily Sakura's familiar with all the buttons on the machine because Sasuke wouldn't have had a clue if you asked him.

It's quiet in the house except for the sounds of chewing and knives and forks against plates and the sound of the TV (Yes they're eating in front of the television, why? Because there's no one around to tell them not to). It's not a forced silence and it's not at all awkward. Sakura has that sort of talent. She's a quiet girl, composed and smiling and not in-your-face present like Ino. She asks him:

'Where have you met Naruto? You seem like good friends.'

He thinks about lying to her but then decides that there's nothing wrong with the truth.

'He…, we've met before I moved here. We used to go to school together.'

'Do you know why he came here?'

'Iruka hired him as a help on the farm.' He says.

'No, I know that, I just don't know why he left the city in the first place. Isn't it a good place to live?'

Sasuke ponders for a second.

'Well it's nothing like here, but there are good and bad places in the city. Naruto used to live in a bad place.'

Sakura raises her eyebrows and swallows a piece of lasagna.

'A bad place? Like what?'

'He's an orphan. He lived in a children's home before he came here.'

'An orphan?! That's hard. You wouldn't think it if you looked at him.'

Sasuke knows exactly what she's talking about. He's often wondered about Naruto's sunny disposition. He's searched that smile more than once for any sign of insincerity or doubt. He's never found any.

'He is the strongest person I've ever met.' Sasuke answers her, without really thinking about the consequences.

She looks at him curiously. Of course she is, it's weird for her to hear him speak like that.

In school it feels like Shikamaru is even more reserved to him than usual. There isn't a second that goes by without him frowning, confused or as if though he's thinking about something very hard. Sakura tells him after class one day, very quickly and pretend-casual, that he's asked her about his past. She twirls her pink ponytail awkwardly around her fingers and tells him without looking him in the eye. One of her feet is already in the direction that she plans to go.

Sasuke is frankly, a little baffled. Sakura asks him whether she did right, not telling Shikamaru where Sasuke came from and what he's been through. Sasuke nods, but really, he doesn't know the answer.

There is a part of him that, most of all, wants to forget what happened. This is the part of him that wants to move on with his life. But, if forgetting his past means forgetting Naruto than could he? For Naruto is as much part of what happened as his brother is.

It takes him the entire day to finally reach the conclusion that yes, Sakura did do the right thing. He will remember who he is, what he's overcome and most importantly, who he lives for, but that is intimate, and private. He would not appreciate the entire school knowing.

He himself though has found the courage to acknowledge what is there. He jogs by Naruto's house as often as he can. Sometimes he's there in the field, and the sun that engulfs him in light and warmth suits him so well that Sasuke wondered what he was ever doing in the city.

It's Saturday afternoon and Sasuke is walking down a dirt pathway, beside the wheat fields that play in the wind.

The day comes with bright sunlight and clear skies. Despite the warm glow that engulfs the trees of the forest and the bright colored fences and barns it's still cold. There's a soft but icy breeze that rustles the branches and tousles Sasuke's hair as he makes the turn, up the drive-way of the large farm.

It looks everything like he has imagined it would. Old brick house, large enough to house two families, square dirt courtyard and a little further, a wooden barn.

He doesn't quite know what to do. The scenery is painfully unfamiliar, Sasuke sticks out horribly. He ducks further into his winter coat, although it's already too warm for the season, but it does the job of hiding his face.

It takes him a long while before he hears the noises from behind the brick house. Cautiously he follows the courtyard and almost falls over a pair of shears that lay rusting to pieces against the wall. He's very distracted, tense, and just not himself today. He's been all week. Of course Suki hasn't said anything but he's heard her sigh when he dropped the third cup in two days.

Recovering from his awkward stumble he swears softly and continues. The noises from at the back stop momentarily. The second that Sasuke clears the corner and gains full view of the large field his eyes are caught by enthusiastic blue ones.

It's Naruto of course. A hammer in his hand, nails and a saw on the grass. He's been fixing a wooden fence, changing the rotting poles, putting in new ones and retying the barbed wire. When he sees Sasuke though he drops all tools and allows for his face to break into the most beautiful smile.

Suddenly Sasuke isn't so cold anymore, the sun seems to shine brighter. He has to smile as well. He mouths 'hello', but he doesn't think that Naruto saw it.

Naruto seems like he wants to run towards him, eventually does, but then stops again to stand perfectly still and awkward in front of him again. There is still that unbreakable shimmer on his face.

'Hey, you came. 'Been waiting all day.' He says a little breathlessly.

Sasuke nods. He picks up the wooden hammer and looks at Naruto questionably.

'Don't tell me they've got you working hard for your bed and breakfast here?'

Naruto laughs and he blushes a little, reaches over to take the hammer back.

'There's nothing wrong with being grateful, I'm just helping out.'

'Right'.

Naruto's dressed in a simple, white (turning grey) T-shirt, it's a little bit too small for him so every time he bends it rides up his stomach and he has to pull it down again with a red face. Sasuke watches him for a while, an amused smirk on his face. Naruto quickly finishes up with the last pole, throws the tools into a box against the wall and stops right in front of him. Green, rubber boots in the mud.

'So, I wanna show you something.'

He pulls down his shirt once more, resolutely this time and makes for the barn further down a dirt path along the field. He takes long strides, keeping his head up and his eyes near the sky. It truly is a beautiful day. He tries to look behind him secretly, turning his head only a little bit. Sasuke notices of course because he can't tear his eyes away. Naruto's lashes cast the most adorable shadows against his cheeks.

Sasuke feels the nerves in his body. He's curious and tense. It makes him breath a little faster, feel a little warmer. He looks at the back of Naruto's neck and realizes that his hair's grown a little bit since he last saw him, it now covers that little mole behind his ear.

They reach the wooden building and it seems bigger now, from up close. Naruto pushes opens the heavy door, he keeps it open so that Sasuke can come in, and lets it go again. It falls back to its place, shaking a little in the hinges.

Inside the barn it's stuffy and at least 5 degrees warmer than outside. There is only one open window, high in the left wall, it allows for the sunlight to cascade into the space like some divine light. It paints everything golden and honey-brown. In the far corner a ginger cat jumps up and disappears again.

Naruto turns to him, a nervous smile on his face.

'Cool right?'

'I've never been in a barn before.' Sasuke says, looking around him.

'It smells good.'

Naruto smiles exasperated at Sasuke's approval. He turns and sits down on the high mountain of hay that's been tied together in hard, square bundles.

'How've you been?'

'Not any worse than you. The family is…nice.'

Naruto nods, it seems as if though he's trying to say something entirely different.

'Do you know that I heard stories about your blue eyes at school?'

'What?'

'Honest. They were the ones who told me Iruka's hired you. The girls think you're handsome.'

He smiles, trying hard to keep his mouth closed but his teeth shine though eventually. He's very amused.

'And what do you think?' He asks.

'I think that It's been too long since we've last had sex.' Sasuke says in little bit of a hurry, sticking the words together.

He smiles too, dubious. Naruto is caught of guard by the direct answer, although of course he knows that this has been in the air between them for a long time. The big elephant in the room.

'You care to change that?'

Sasuke is already at his side, instantly it seems, although they've been gravitating towards each other the entire time. The lips he hungrily presses on Naruto's are smiling. This was the way it was supposed to be. Not in Sakura's house, awkward but passionate and uncontrollable, but here, in this golden place with no one in miles and just each other to fill the space.

Naruto leans back, falls with his head in the hay, it smells so good now, when Sasuke presses his nose in the crook between the shoulder and neck. Kisses and hands, hands and kisses, tongue. It's all so fluid between them. As if they have been doing this for centuries, as if they're ancient and this between them is sacred.

Then Naruto flips them both around, and starts wrestling with the revealing t-shirt. Sasuke feels the hay prick him in the neck and in his lower back and shoulder blades. He blows the hair out of his face and mutters angrily:

'I thought that hay was supposed to be soft.'

Naruto chuckles against his chest and slides up to kiss his jaw.

'Do you wanna swap again?'

Sasuke tries to lift his shoulders but he's pressed back again with force.

'Am I going to have to fight you for it?' He whispers, more than a little surprised.

Naruto bites his ear as an affirmative.

When Sasuke is finally picking the straw out of his hair and looking for his lost T-shirt the sun is already low in the sky. Everything is less bright and more bronze than golden now. Faintly in his head he wonders if from the top of the barn, up the ladder in the corner, you could see the sunset.

Naruto is lying on his back, still in the straw, not bothering to get up. Sasuke looks back at him and decides that the whole barn-yard-boy look suits him. He smiles to himself.

Naruto catches it and asks:

'What are you smiling at?'

'Nothing, are you going to tell me how you got out of Juvie?'

'I was set free. I only got two months in the first place. I just stole a car remember?'

Right. Sasuke nods. Naruto was going to be out before he was. He would have been alone again.

'Don't worry. I was just gonna try and rob a bank when I got out, you wouldn't have missed me for long.'

He snorts. It's taken him a long time but now he can laugh at Naruto's jokes. He also sees the inevitable and knows how to treat it with humor.

'What about Haku?'

'I think he gets out in a month or two. In the summer at least. He's been there for two years, did you know that?'

He didn't. Naruto rolls over on his stomach and searches the floor for his own clothes.

'I don't know when Gaara gets out though. He's already eighteen so I don't know why they're still keeping him.'

Sasuke says nothing. He hasn't asked about Gaara, he's jealous. He knows that he has no reason to be, whatsoever, but the redhead scares him.

'He's told me that they're thinking of transferring him to a psyche ward in another town. Can you imagine that? Gaara's not crazy, he just has different principles.'

Sasuke chooses not to comment.

'Why are you not going to school? I thought it was obligatory.'

'Well I'm sixteen now, I've already got a diploma. I chose to drop out.'

'You chose to drop out? What are you going to do for a living?' Sasuke demands, hiss voice louder than usual. He sounds like his teachers and hates it.

'What I'm doing now.'

Sasuke looks at him with almost accusing eyes. He doesn't understand. He's actually sad that he lost his childhood, but hearing this from Naruto, it's like the other just doesn't care.

'I know what you're thinking. I'm sorry about it too, but school just isn't an option for me anymore.'

Sasuke hears what he says, and there's an undeniable truth in the statement, but he refuses to accept that Naruto is mature and has moved on. How can he, when he himself feels sometimes still feels like such a child?

At leaving the barn the chill of the wind finally meets their bones. The sun is setting now and the light is between that orange and blue that you get when it's cold. The sky up above them is truly formidable. In the city the sky was trapped between buildings, grey or steel blue during the day and glowing in the dark. There were clouds but you could never see a whole one. Here in countryside the sky is like a entity, living and looming over them, heavy with birds and colors.

Sasuke asks whether you can see the stars at night. Naruto chuckles and answers that you can if you want to. He smiles all the time, glowing, heavy conversation forgotten. Then he asks him to stay over for the night because it's getting dark and because it's cold and because he wants to introduce him to Iruka.

Sasuke says yes. Dinner is sober, not at all like with the Haruno's who've got three courses and matching cutlery. It tastes good none the less, better after a day of hard work, Iruka says.

He's a man of few words, shy in a kind sort of way. His face is round and tanned by the sun, there is a faint scar on his nose but it doesn't stand out in the dim light of the wooden kitchen. He's got a rather large nose and full lips. He looks a little more southern than all of the others in the village.

When he puts a plate in front of Sasuke and hands him an spoon and a fork their hands touch. Iruka's got hard hands from working but they're soft too, when moving the towel and washing the dishes, or when brushing the hair out of his neck.

Sasuke likes him, really much and almost instantly. Iruka and Naruto talk naturally as if they've shared the same dining table for four years now.

After dinner Naruto takes him to his room where he makes up an extra bed, fitting the mattress into the tiny empty space. Then they head down and watch TV. Nothing important, just noise. Iruka's not there. Sasuke feels Naruto slide against his shoulder and watches him as his eyes start to flutter.

He could watch him forever, he realizes. There is a place inside him, a tender little spot that he thought wasn't there before. But now, at discovering it, it makes him feel all shaky and insecure, but at the same time, he wouldn't change it for the world. He doesn't know what time it is when they finally do slide into bed, but it couldn't have been before 12. Sasuke whispers in his ear gently and together they stumble upstairs. Silently they change. Silently they crawl under the same comforter in Naruto's bed.

The next morning, when it's still dark but there is a line of light peeking over the horizon because of the rising sun, Iruka carefully peers around the door. What he sees does not necessarily shock him but he is intrigued and very confused at what to do.

It's true that he could never have prepared for a boy like Naruto. It's true that although they are opposites and that Naruto's loud, he finds himself charmed. Determination and a smile that turns you inside out, that's him, and Iruka doesn't mind living with him.

So when he looks at the limbs entwined, and at Naruto's nose in the neck of that enigmatic dark-haired boy, he doesn't say a word. In stead he traces back four steps and closes the door tenderly behind him. He'll allow him to sleep late, he'll do the work alone this morning.

In the morning birds whistling and the soft noise and light wake Naruto. He doesn't open his eyes just yet and breathes slowly and utterly content because he feels the body against him, the legs entwined with his, rough from little hairs and the hands warm on his waist.

He really does want to lie like this forever. He's actually afraid of all the things that'll come after this. Because what will everything else feel like when you've already experienced the perfect happiness? This heaven to him, has all but ruined his earthly existence. Though even thoughts like these, slightly sad, can not take away anything of the light and goodness that he feels that morning.

Naruto opens his eyes, very slowly, and moves up his arms just a little to rub the sleep out of them. Just in front of him is Sasuke. His head is buried in the pillow and his hair falls just over his ear and right eye.

Naruto has to smile. He actually has to giggle, but he stops himself just in time not to wake up his bed mate. He moves his hands to gently tuck away the stray hairs and rests them on Sasuke cheeks. The latter sighs deeply and turns halfway, moving to lie on his back, his head turns awkwardly and falls back on the pillow. Naruto presses soft and feathery little kisses on his lips and nose, just because he can't resist.

Then Sasuke cracks open one black eye out of nowhere and Naruto starts.

'Did I wake you?' He asks apologetically, and the bright sun, streaming through the window, lights up his features.

'Oh no, go back to sleep I'm sorry!' He says immediately after, a concerned frown on his face.

He didn't want to wake him, they were supposed to lie like this forever, remember?

Sasuke stretches out one hand and catches Naruto's wrist holding it tight and immobile against his chest. He looks grumpy. Naruto's eyes follow to the point where he's restricted, like he has to see it to realize. He looks back with a confused face.

'Wha-'

Sasuke's own face breaks out into a mischievous smirk and he rolls them around, pulling Naruto on his stomach.

'Yeah you woke me. Thanks for that.'

Naruto frowns again, and he's in the verge of apologizing, feeling genuinely bad about himself, when a kiss catches him off guard.

'Stupid.' Sasuke mumbles.

He closes his eyes again, as if he wants to go back to sleep. Naruto lies on his chest, a little uncomfortable. He doubts whether he should say anything or not, but then eventually makes up his mind a goes for another kiss, longer this time.

At first he thinks that Sasuke is really sleeping because he's not doing anything back, but then the arms around him clench him close, and he feels the lips move against his. It takes a long while before they find the will to tear apart again.

'Fuck.' Sasuke mumbles silently as he kicks around the sheets in the guest bed to make it look like somebody slept in them. Naruto watches him from the bed.

'Don't you wish we could have Sundays like this forever?' He asks.

Sasuke looks up at him from his bent position over the pillows.

'Yeah, I wish. But it's not possible.'

'Why not?' Naruto asks so genuinely honest and innocent that Sasuke doesn't want to laugh at the remark.

He licks his lips and tries not to make the following words sound bitter.

'Because people don't want us to be happy, that's why.'

Naruto frowns and looks out of the window. He is a child after all, to ponder over things like that. He's also so faithful, Sasuke thinks. He knows that what he said was not really the absolute truth and he knows that, for Naruto, it's not at all. Still everything he says is seriously considered and most of the time, accepted.

'Let's have some breakfast.'

They leave for the cosy kitchen again and put on the kettle for thee. Both look out the window and warm themselves up by the natural sunlight, and they long for the summer. There is some light conversation but mostly just looks and smiles that say enough.

A door falls closed in the hallway and there's the sound of heavy boots on the stone floor. Iruka comes in and takes of his jacket. He mumbles good morning but doesn't look either of them in the eye.

When he finally does there is a little bit of a blush on his nose, he's nervous. Then, a little sudden, opens his mouth and ask Naruto whether he wants to go to school or not.

'What? Why do you ask?' He answers.

'Just because… I know kids need to go to school, and I was just wondering. It would be good for you right?'

Naruto's eyes flicker over to the side of the room as he thinks.

'For friends and stuff… You should finish high school at least.'

Naruto opens his mouth and wants to speak but he doesn't really know what to say, or how to say it.

'I'll pay for it of course… don't worry about it.'

'What about work?'

'You can still do that after, besides I might get another help for the harvest. It's no problem.'

Naruto looks at him, but at his face, not in the eyes.

'Things are getting out of hand.' He mumbles very silently so that only Sasuke can hear, hardly.

'I am something like a guardian Naruto. I've got the signed papers. I think you should go to school. I'm sure.'

That is when he leaves, taking with him an apple, through the other door. It seems like everything is pushing them, forcing them to start all over and although that's not a bad thing necessarily, it does frighten them.

'What do you think Sasuke? Am I school material?' Naruto asks him, his heart on his face, insecurities, fears and flaws, everything that Sasuke loves about him.