Gentle On My Mind
The first week of classes came and went very quickly. Sam and Noel shared an art class and economics class together, and the four of them shared an English class together. Sam, Noel, and Carly began to form a very tight bond. Fred began to call them "Freddie's Angels" and the name stuck. Much to Fred's delight Sam and Noel really began to act more like sisters than friends. The little group began to jell and form into a kind of family.
Sam never expected to find herself in this predicament, becoming such good friends with Noel. She had hoped that would lessen her feelings for Freddie, but instead she was now more in love with him than ever before. She was handling it better but still felt a deep pain when she would hear them make love or see them in their playful mood.
As the last days of summer gave way to the cooler days of fall Fred began to get moody and quiet. The normal carefree grin that he wore most of the time was gone, replaced by a melancholy stare and bouts of drifting away from the women, missing questions asked of him and staring into space. He even began to pull away from Noel, turning in on himself and blocking everyone and everything out.
A week before Thanksgiving Sam came home from classes early and planed to kick back and relax. Noel was going join her later and the two were going to watch a zombie movie together. As soon as she opened the door she knew something was wrong, the whole apartment was dark and quiet except for the sound coming out of Noel's and Freddie's room. It was a low almost whisper of voices and the sound of someone weeping heavily. Sam slowly pushed the door open, trying to be as quiet as possible, and looked in.
What she saw broke her heart. Freddie was sitting on the floor with his head on the bed watching a video of his mom and him on some Thanksgiving past eating and laughing together. Sam felt a tear roll down her own face. She had never seen "crazy" smile let alone heard her laugh. She seemed almost normal in the video, even fun. She guessed that Freddie must have been about ten in this video. Mrs. Benson looked much younger and didn't seem to be as uptight as she was later in life.
"You can come in Sam, if you want to," Fred said in a hushed tone.
"How the hell did you know I was here?" Sam walked into the room and sat down beside him.
"You forget, I've known you most of my life and I know how you breath."
"That's pretty creepy stuff Freddie. This is why you've been so distant lately, first holiday without your mom?"
"I was nine in this one, she was still somewhat together then. When I turned ten she started to slip much faster. I've never been sure why she turned into what she did, I just always assumed that it was because she didn't want me to grow up and leave her alone, but the truth is I just don't know," Fred talked to her in a hushed whisper that sounded melancholy and weary.
"I never knew she laughed, hell I don't think I ever saw the woman smile," Sam laid her head on Freddie's shoulder and watched the screen in amazement as Marissa Benson began having a food fight with her son. She was throwing mashed potatoes at him and he was throwing green peas at her. They looked happy.
"She's throwing food, real honest to god food and not that crazy health food shit I always saw her try to feed you," Sam laughed.
"She had her moments," Fred said in a whisper.
"You two look like you're having a great time, but who took the video?" Sam asked as she watched his somber face begin to crack into a small grin.
"Just wait."
Suddenly the camera moved as if someone had set it down and a very large built man with a scar stepped into the frame and began to throw squash at both of them while yelling, "Incoming!"
"Who is that?" she looked at him with a puzzled look on her face.
"Remember the guy that came to protect me after the "Shadow Hammer" thing, well that's the guy his name's Gunsmoke, he and my mom knew each other since I was born. I think the two of them had some kind of history together. He was killed in Iraq in 2012, mom cried for a week," Fred watched the fight on screen and laughed as his mom got a pie in the face from Gunsmoke.
"Dude, you need to talk to us, Noel's been worried that she had done something to make you mad, to tell you the truth we all had thought that," Sam turned his head so that they faced each other.
"I just feel so alone Sam."
"Alone, are you kidding me? You live with the three hottest chicks on campus, have two women who think you hung the moon and would do anything for you, there's not one person on this campus that doesn't know who you are and wouldn't do something for you if you needed them too, and to top it all off you have a girlfriend who followed you halfway around the world just to be with you, you are the most unalone person on the I've ever met," Sam smiled at him and was relived to see his face light up and the smirk that drove her wild spread across his face.
"Thanks Sam, I needed that. I just feels weird not having any family and I let get to me," they both stared at each other.
"You always have family as long as you have me…us, I mean us, we are your family and we always will be, forever," Sam said in a hushed tone as she found herself leaning into Freddie.
Fred leaned into Sam and for a minute thought about kissing her, but thought it would be inappropriate so he pulled up and kissed her forehead instead, "You're the best Sam, I love you," he hugged her and Sam found herself breathing in his scent and cursing the fact that Freddie was the kind of guy who might cheat. Of course the fact that he wouldn't is what made her love him so much. For his part Fred found himself wondering why some guy hadn't seen how fantastic Sam was and made her his own.
Later that evening when Noel got home Fred took her into their room and told her why he had been acting the way he had and the two spent several hours just laying together talking and cuddling. When they came out they found Carly and Sam had ordered pizza and they all sat around the T.V. and ate as Fred showed them the home movies. One that brought them all to silence was one where Fred looked to be about eight and he and his mom were sitting out in the grass at a park somewhere and Fred's mom asked him to sing and play her favorite song for her. Fred took the guitar that she handed him and began to play a simple sweet tune. His mother smiled and began to rock in time to the tune and then Fred began to sing in a beautiful voice the song his mother loved:
It's knowin' that your door is always open
And your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleepin' bag
Rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowin' I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that have dried upon some line
That keeps you in the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
That keeps you ever gentle on my mind
It's not clingin' to the rocks and ivy
Planted on their columns now that bind me
Or something that somebody said because
They thought we fit together walkin'
It's just knowing that the world
Will not be cursing or forgiving
When I walk along some railroad track and find
That you're movin' on the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
And for hours you're just gentle on my mind
Though the wheat fields and the clothes lines
And the junkyards and the highways come between us
And some other woman's cryin' to her mother
'cause she turned and I was gone
I still might run in silence
Tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me till I'm blind
But not to where I cannot see
You walkin' on the back roads
By the rivers flowin' gentle on my mind
I dip my cup of soup back from a gurglin' cracklin' cauldron
In some train yard
My beard a rustlin' coal pile
And a dirty hat pulled low across my face
Through cupped hands 'round a tin can
I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're waitin' from the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
Ever smilin', ever gentle on my mind
The video ended with a shot of Marissa Benson smiling and hugging her son. The video paused and Fred reached out and touched the screen. They could see he was crying and they said nothing. He traced the outline of her face with his finger and whispered through the tears, "I miss you mom, oh God I miss you."
His head lowered his head and began to sob. The three women were sobbing themselves, feeling the pain that he was going through. Noel crawled up beside him and whispered, "I know what it's like to lose your mother Fred, I'm so, so sorry," she wrapped her arms around him and he lowered his head to her shoulder and finally after almost a year broke down and wailed over the loss of his mother, his whole body shook and Sam and Carly joined the two of them in a group hug and they all cried.
After about an hour Fred was curled up in a ball his head in Noel's lap and he slept. She rubbed his back and ran her fingers through his hair. Sam and Carly left the two of them in the living room alone and went to bed.
When the sun rose the next morning, Fred awoke to find that he had slept in Noel's lap and that she had fallen asleep in a most awkward position because of that. He looked up at her and marveled at how someone as lowly as he could have found such an angel as her and had her fall in love with him. She had saved him last night again. He had felt like the world had swallowed him up, but then he had felt arms around him and knew it was her and he finally could let go of the grief that he had hidden for so long. He also knew that she loved him unconditionally and would stand by him no matter what.
The other thought that crossed his mind was that Sam had made this all possible with the talk she had given him before last night. Then two other things crossed his mind as he drifted back to sleep. She had looked like she wanted to kiss him and she had said he had two women who thought he hung the moon. What had she meant by that? Who was the second woman? He fell back to sleep happy but confused.
They sat around the breakfast table talking and laughing just like old times. They made plans for the holiday, Carly said that Spencer was going with his girlfriend to Texas for the holiday so they decided to have a dinner with their little extended family right there in the apartment. Noel, who had never celebrated the holiday, offered to fix the turkey and Sam stepped up to do the dressing. Carly took the deserts and Fred said he would take care of the other side dishes. The rest of the week flew by and on Friday night the group was getting ready to head out when Noel and Sam suggested that they try this new bar that had a great band on the other side of town. When they arrived Fred noticed that his buddy Mark's band was playing. He got excited at the prospect of getting to hear him play and sing. Sam and Noel winked at each other and Fred noticed it. 'What the hell was that about?' he thought to himself, 'Why do I feel like I'm being set up all of a sudden?'
The bar was fairly large and had a huge dance floor. Mark smiled at them as they can in and pulled the group down close to the stage. Fred noticed that Mark had his right arm in a sling, not good for someone who played guitar.
"Glad you guys are here," Mark smiled at them, "Fred, buddy, do you still play guitar? I had a little problem with the steps at the dorm and as you can see, fucked my arm up earlier today. We're going to lose the gig if we can't find someone to play in my place. I won't ask you to sing unless you want to, but dude can you please help me out, please, please."
"I'll try man, but I can't guarantee that I know all the songs," Fred told him, "Let's look at the set list and see what we can do."
"Dude, you're a lifesaver, we'll split the pay with you and I'll owe you for life," Mark smiled at him and led him toward the stage.
The women took a table near the stage and settled in for the show. Before the show several men approached the women and were turned away quickly and in some cases with their egos bruised or broken. It still worried Carly that Sam had all but stopped looking at the guys who chased after her. She knew that Sam was on a collision course with disaster and she felt like she couldn't help her avoid it. Sam was stubborn when it came to most anything, but with Fred she was downright unmovable. She was going to ride this ride till it crashed and burned, Carly just hoped that there would be enough pieces of Sam left to put back together.
The owner of the bar took the stage and tapped the mike, "All right settle down," he paused to let the crowd settle down, "Ladies and Gents "The Black Hole" is proud to present "Mike and the Zombies", stand up and clap you animals!"
The crowd clapped and whistled as the band took the stage. Fred smiled down at his ladies as he strapped the guitar on. The women cheered and made catcalls at him and caused him to blush.
"As you guys can see I've got a problem with my wing here, so I've asked my good friend Fred Benson to sit in with us tonight. He's a kickass player and he's got a great voice and I expect you guys to show him some massive love," Mike spoke to the crowd like he owned them, "Now our first number features our man Fred on lead guitar and vocals and the song fits my man to a tee, boys and girls I give you "Smooth"," Mike stepped back and grabbed shaker as Fred stepped to the mike and began to countdown, which made Sam and Carly smile, "In five, four, three, two…," Fred began to play the guitar with the style of someone who played it every night. It had a sensual tone to it that brought everyone to their feet and the crowd began to dance. Noel, Sam, and Carly stared at each other in mild disbelief at just how good he was.
Fred stepped to the mike and began to sing with the same sensual tone in his voice that he was playing on the guitar,
Man it's a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
Well I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My mu equita my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
You're my reason for reason
The step in my groove
Yea
And if you say, "This life ain't good enough"
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
'Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
Fred began to tear into the first guitar solo and Noel and Sam saw him disappear into a huge smile and just turn himself over to the music. It was almost spiritual to watch him play, you could see the dark demons that had haunted him for the past few weeks leave his body with every lick of the strings as he played. His face broke into a huge "shit eating" grin and both women high fived each other and felt tears roll down their cheeks, it was that beautiful a sight to see him that happy.
I'll tell you one thing
If you would leave it would be a crying shame
In every breath and every word I hear your name callin' me out
Out from the barrio you hear my rhythm from your radio
You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow
Turning you round and round
Sam and Noel began to dance with the sensual rhythm of the music and Fred's voice and every man at the bar took notice. Fred smiled at them and winked at Noel and sang looking only at them. Carly watched from the table and wondered if the two of them were aware that they were both dancing just for him and that it was really a mating dance that they were doing. This wasn't going to end well, when it ended and Carly saw Sam being shattered, but couldn't seem to pull her back from the abyss she was headed down. For that matter, Sam didn't seem to care, she was lost in the idea that this could work out good for everyone.
"Oh shit," Carly said to herself, "this is so fucking jank. It's like watching a train wreck, I don't want to look, but I can't turn around and not look!"
And if you say, "This life ain't good enough"
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
'Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
Fred played the second solo like a man possessed and the crowd was going wild. Sam began to swing her hips from side to side and she was matched by Noel who began to gyrate around with her whole body and both of them never took their eyes off of Fred. The other men at the bar were looking at the two hot blondes and were very turned on. Even some of the women had to admit that the two were hot. They were both approached by guys wanting to dance, well really just to rub up against them, but both men were sent away looking rather dejected from the attempt.
And just like the ocean under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Gimme your heart make it real
Or else forget about it
Yeah
Or else forget about it
Or else forget about it
Or else forget about it
(Gimme your heart make it real)
Or else forget about it
(yeah)
Let's don' forget about it
(Oh, no, no)
(Oh)
Let's don' forget about it
(Oh, no, no)
(Oh)
Let's don' forget about it
(yeah)
(Ahh, Ohh)
Let's don' forget about it
(Yeah, yeah)
Fred turned around and caught Mike clapping with both hands and raised his eyebrow at him. Noel and Sam both slapped their hands on their foreheads and drug them down their faces. Mike shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "I got better," he smiled at Fred and took the guitar as Fred passed it back to him.
"I think I've been set up," he grinned and spun to see Noel and Sam turn and look off at something that wasn't there, "What did they offer you to get you to do this?"
"Nothing dude, they just said you were down and asked if I'd help you out. I owe you a lifetime of favors my man so I said sure," Mike smiled at his friend, "Dude, listen to that crowd, you were on fire. That was FUCKING EPIC DUDE!"
"Thanks man, it was fun, but I think I'll join the women now, but if you need me again just let me know," Fred and Mike gave each other the standard man hug and Fred left the stage and headed toward the table the women had.
As he made his way to the table, a redheaded young woman approached him. She was thin and tall, five foot nine, and had freckles. She wore a short blue jean skirt that just did cover the bottom of her ass and a top that stopped just below the swell of her small breast. She didn't appear to be wearing a bra and she was bouncing up and down to show her breasts off. Her eyes were red rimmed, so Fred guessed she had had been drinking or something else quite a bit already, and as she spoke to him her speech was slurred.
"God that was so hot," she ran her hand across his bicep and then his chest and giggled and tried her best to look seductively at him.
Noel and Sam quickly jumped up from the table and began to make their way toward couple, Noel had fire in her eyes and Sam appeared to be just as upset also. The floor was covered with people and progress toward them was slow.
"God you're buff, so you want dance or maybe we could just slip into the bathroom and make a little magic for each other," she ran her hand down to the front of his pants and her eyes went wide, "Damn, maybe we should go to my place to use that monster."
"Thanks, but no thanks, and by the way, what's your name?" Fred grinned in spite of himself at this horny, drunk, and loose young woman and her very uninteresting offer of sex.
"Randi, my name is Randi and what are you a fag or something, turning down a sure thing like me. You ain't gonna find a better offer than this," she ran her hands up and down her body, "You gotta be queer? Right?"
"Hey mon amour," Noel said as she reached Fred and slipped her arms around his neck and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and hungrily began to kiss him.
Randi was taken aback by the woman who had just walked up and molested the guy she was trying to seduce, "Hey bitch, what's your fucking…" she never finished the sentence because Sam placed her right leg behind the girls legs and pushed her hard, sending her to the floor, "Oh shit, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I was watching this slut throw herself at my friends boyfriend and… oh that was you, yikes, I guess I put my foot in my mouth which is what will happen to you if you fuck with my friends man slutarella, just something for you to think about the next time you Mack on a stud who's way out of your league in a club."
Noel and Fred came up for air and Fred smirked at her, "You just chased off a "sure thing" with red there. She wanted to go to her place and use my "monster", and I'm never going to get a better offer than that!"
"Fuck you douze dimanche de formes et de cuire puis à déjeuner le matin mon amour, is that a better offer or what?" Noel smiled at him and rubbed herself against his crouch.
"Creo que necesito para componer letras usted esta noche mi amor y quizás dar rienda suelta a la serpiente en el chocho bonite, does that sound like a plan to you?" Fred grinned back at her and whispered into her ear, sending her into amorous chill and causing her to moan.
Sam had no idea what they said to each other, but it made her horny anyway. 'This is going to be harder than I thought,' Sam said in her mind, 'god I want him to fuck me till I can't stand right now. That song he played and sang was so hot and the way he moved has left me feeling very sexually frustrated right now.'
"So I take it you two set this whole thing up tonight?" Fred's question brought Sam out of her little daydream.
"Noel came up with the idea," Sam started to say.
"We both came up with the idea after watching the video of you and your mom, and Sam talked to Mark," Noel stepped in and took over the tale.
"I asked him if he'd do it and he said "anything for my bud", damn Freddie is there anyone on campus that doesn't like you?" Sam asked as the three of them walked, well Sam and Fred walked and Noel was carried, back to their table.
"I'm going to say that the guys you two shot down while dancing and I think red probably doesn't like any of us right now," Fred laughed and placed a kiss on Noel's neck which sent a shiver through her body.
Sam spent the night in a sensual and mental funk. She could hear the sounds from Freddie's and Noel's room and besides making her feel alone, it was making her horny and frustrated to the point of going out and buying herself a "toy" and taking care of business herself. Her dreams that night were full of Freddie and in none of them were the two of them clothed or doing anything she would tell anyone about, well she might tell Carly just to see her blush.
Thanksgiving day was a very special day for the group, the family, that had grown between the friends. The family cooked together in the kitchen, laughing and cutting up, and in general having a blast. Fred and Noel laughed and hugged and kissed often Carly noticed, just as she noticed that Sam made sure to touch and poke and slap at Fred any chance she got.
'This is turning into an epic fail with every passing day.' Carly thought to herself as the four of them cooked, 'Bless his heart, Fred has got to be the most oblivious man on the face of the earth not to see that Sam is head over heels in love with him. But since he has Noel feeling the same way and is in love with her, he really shouldn't notice anything but Noel. I'm going to age fifty years by the time this all hits the fan.'
The new family sat down about twelve-thirty and ate their meal. Fred cut the turkey and they ate in silence, enjoying the great food.
Sam stood and raised her glass of tea and said, "A toast to absent family and to those who are no longer with us," she nodded to Freddie, "and Marissa this is for you," Sam picked up a spoon full of green peas and flicked them in Freddie's face with a laugh.
"What the hell Puckett?" Fred wiped the peas off his face and gave Sam a smirk and picked up the gravy boat, "It's so on Princess Puckett!"
"Nub, put the gravy boat down," Sam stood and backed away from the table, "The wasting of gravy is a capital offence in this state nub, stay away," she tried to run, but Fred grabbed her and poured some of the gravy over her head and down her shirt, laughing the whole time.
"Damn it would you two stop, I'm not going to clean this mess," Carly was stopped by mashed potatoes hitting her in the face.
Noel laughed and hurled potatoes at both Sam and Fred, scoring hits on both of them.
Carly wiped the potatoes off her face, "Oh, fuck it," and picked up the cranberry sauce and began to sling it at Noel, hitting her in the face, "I'm gonna kick some ass!"
The four of them had a massive food fight and then settled down, cleaned up and sat down to watch a movie. Noel sat in Fred's lap and Sam leaned her head on Freddie's shoulder. Carly just stared at them and shook her head.
.
.
I really enjoyed this chapter; I guess you can tell by the length. I want to thank and acknowledge twowritehands, two of the finest writers here, and want to thank them for the permission to use Gunsmoke and Mrs. Benson as they did in one of the best stories I've read in a long time, "I Care Now", it answers a lot of questions about Freddie's mom that we've never known. And is a great seddie story to boot. Even before you review this chapter, go read this story. They have also given me permission to write a story set during the complete time frame of theirs about the relationship between Mrs. Benson and Gunsmoke.
I felt that Fred needed to grieve for his mom and that this was a great place for Sam to show her soft side to him and explore the closeness between Sam and Noel as they become friends.
We still have a way to go before the wedding (a year and a half), but I wanted to start showing the feeling of both women.
I know Nathan Kress plays the guitar, and I just wanted to show him with his hair down.
As always let me know what you think.
