Title: Of Forever
Chapter: Part VI
Author: Sleepybard
Rating: Overall NC-17
Pairing: Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella
Warnings: Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama
Author's Note: This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.
Thanks to the awesome bovus_stercus for the beta-ing

Summary: Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. Or is he?

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.


Please read: Oh shit guys, sorry! This part almost didn't get up because I'm such a total loser and forgot to post it /facepalm/ Please thank avari_maethor for reminding me. I'm so sorry! On that note, I'll probably lose some readers after this part because here is where it gets a little crazy. I don't want to spoil this fic, but I feel this should be said. This fic was not written with the intention of getting Bella out of the picture. This is not Bella/Edward fic, it's Jakeward. While I'm shamelessly using Bella as a plot device, the fic from here on is centered on the relationship between Edward and Jacob. None of this probably makes sense right now, but it will after you read this part.

Please keep that all in mind. This is Jacob/Edward. As much as I hate Bella, she will not be in here more than she needs to be.


Part VI

After living 6 months seeing Edward only 3 times, I was sure there was no other possible hell. Going so long without my imprint was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and I was certain nothing could be worse.

I was wrong.

11 years passed.

They were 11 of the hardest, most miserable, despondent, bleak, and horrific years of my life. Every waking moment of the day, I prayed for the end to come. Every breath I took, I hoped it to be my last. My skin itched, my soul was raw, my mind was driven nearly mad by thoughts of Edward.

I went 11 years without seeing my imprint once. The only reason I knew he was even still walking the earth was because I still was. Each night I lay awake wondering where he was, if he was still with Bella, if he'd turned her, if he was safe, happy, if he was even thinking about me the way I thought about him.

When I'd offered myself to Aro, to the Volturi, with the expectation that Edward and Bella would be allowed to live, I had no idea that what Aro would do to me would be worse than death itself.

Edward had taken Bella, who was kicking and screaming the entire time. I heard her screams even after the doors had been closed.

I remember the way Edward hadn't spared me even a glance. He'd just grabbed Bella and left. But really, what had I expected? For him to argue on my behalf? For him to save me? I wasn't naïve; Edward didn't love me, hell, he didn't even like me. He was probably beyond relieved when I'd offered myself on a silver platter to the Volturi. He and Bella could live the perfect lifestyle. Bella would become a vampire and they'd move away from Forks to somewhere beautiful and secluded, make love every moment of the day and express their vows of love in every unnecessary breath they took.

I should have known he wouldn't give a damn about the stupid wolf who'd gone and imprinted on him, then sacrificed himself for his imprint.

I should have known.

They turned me.

Three days of the same, agonizing pain I'd endured those few months ago in the woods. Only this time, there was no Edward to stop it.

Of course it didn't turn out quite like they thought it would. But really, what did they think would happen? That they'd bite me and after 3 days I'd be Jacob Black, shifter-turned-vampire?

Sadly, no.

Shifters were not supposed to be vampires. We were not supposed to be bitten by them, let alone try to be turned into them. That much was apparent when I awoke after the third day.

My skin, once a dark, honey gold hue, had retained its tan, thankfully. But my veins protruded obscenely from my skin now, dark red against the brown. An interesting contrast for sure.

I was just as muscled as before but my strength seemed to have increased tenfold, as had my speed and hearing as well. And of course, there was the bloodlust.

It was that craving that was nearly my undoing.

We, the Volturi and I, learned early on I couldn't drink blood, at least, not just anyone's. Human or animal, it made me sick. My skin chipped, like fragile glass, if I ingested any of the red liquid, and it was beyond agonizing, feeling the cool trickle of it sliding down my throat.

It was a miserable, ironic life I led. A vampire who couldn't drink blood; that joke of the century.

It was Marcus who discovered the 'cure,' so to speak.

To this day, I haven't an idea how they were able to procure it, but one night, they give me a single drop of Edward's blood. That one drop was enough to sustain me for a month.

They explained to me details of the existence of vampires. I may have brought some gift from my human life with me, but if I did, it was still dormant. Aside from not needing a regular supply of blood to feed off, was a vampire in each sense of the word.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't stand in the sunlight. I couldn't bleed, unless fighting another vampire.

I nearly went mad. At times I was sure I would. The things the Volturi had me do…disgusting, vile, depraved things that would make anyone sick. And then the constant, torturous longing for my imprint that hadn't disappeared when they'd turned me; if anything, it had grown stronger.

The only thing that kept me sane those 11 years was my ability to shift. It proved that though they took away my old life, that couldn't take away the wolf that was inside. I was not Jacob, shifter-turned-vampire the way they'd hoped I'd be.

I was Jacob Black, shifter-and-vampire.

On what would have been my twenty-eighth birthday, I learned Bella had not been turned. Moreover, it was in part thanks to me.

The Volturi had never gone to check on Bella and the Cullens after I'd stayed in Volterra and Edward had left me behind. I suppose they were so fascinated by the marvel that was the vampire-shifter hybrid that they didn't really care anymore for Bella.

On the one hand, I was happy because I assumed it would mean Edward was happy. Then I had to question my own sanity, being happy for Edward being happy with someone who wasn't me. Such is the life of an imprinted shifter, I suppose.

I never saw them after being turned. Though of course I inquired, asked the Volturi when I'd be able to go home and see my family, imprint, hell, even see Bella. Aro had laughed the first time I'd asked, a week after I'd been turned.

"You can't go back, Jake. It would be to—ah, dangerous for you. Can't trust those shifters, can you?" he asked rhetorically, laughing. I growled at him, impatient and irritated.

"Those shifters are my friends, my family!"

"We're your family Jacob." He put his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder in a way that was meant to be comforting but only served to sicken me. "You belong with us now, Jacob. The Volturi will protect you, provide for you."

"Yeah? And in return, I have to what? Kill for you? Torture? Do something else equally vile for your sick games?"

"You seem to have a very skewed perception of us, Jacob Black." He pulled away and looked at me with the darkest of furies in his cold, red eyes. "You may be a vampire now, Jacob, but you will take care to remember that I or any of my brothers could easily crush you like a little, tiny rodent. You depend on us, not the other way around. Test our patience, and I can promise you, you will not be pleased with the consequences."

I shivered as he cast his eyes on me, scrutinizing me up and down in a way that instantly set me on edge. Suddenly, as though a switch had been flipped, he clapped his hands and smiled gleefully once more, as though he hadn't just threatened me. "Now, come along, there are some others who are eager to meet you!"

I never asked again to go home.

I wondered sometimes if I should have just run. What did I have to lose? I'd lost my family, my home, my life. What else could they take away from me, my existence?

And so what if they did? I was staring down eternity now. Anyone and everyone I'd ever know would be dead in a few decades, nothing more than a drop in the bucket of time if you looked at it objectively. So why not just end it? The alternative was just as bleak as destruction.

But I know why I didn't. I know why I followed Aro and his brothers and obeyed every command they set at me. I know why I listened and lived, why I followed the Volturi's orders, no matter how much it disgusted me.

In my heart, unbeating, unloved, and broken as it was, I still held out hope. Hope that I would someday return to small town Forks; that I would someday see Edward Cullen again.

It was lucky none of the other vampires could read minds. They would have been affronted and disgusted by my pathetic thoughts. But they were what they were, and they were what kept me going.

I did find a friend though. Marcus, soft, quiet, mindful Marcus became the closest thing I could call to a friend in those 11 years I lived with the Volturi.

We talked at night. He told me of his gift, reading the bonds the connected people. I thought it a miraculous, beautiful thing, though I never told him such. He seemed to think it a curse.

After losing his mate so many years ago, Marcus was like me. Though my imprint, whom I had had to learn to refer to as my 'mate' once I'd been turned, was still alive, he was forever out of my reach. In a way, Marcus and I connected because we'd both lost the one who held our hearts.

It was always a humbling experience, talking with Marcus. Though I could sense the deeply held grief in him, his words of comfort never failed. We talked at night, down by the river at the edge of Volterra where no one would disturb us and no one could hear our private musings.

He was the support I needed because he was the only one who could understand the ache within me. He could sense my vapid soul with his gift and though I often wondered if I burdened him further with my own grief, he was always quick to assure me I didn't.

I learned more about Edward from him as well. He'd heard talk over his years of existence, talk of Carlisle and the Cullens and their lifestyle. He knew some things of Edward's life. Things that I may never have learned, Marcus discussed them freely.

I don't know if Aro knew of our nightly excursions. We tried to keep them as private as we could. It wasn't that we feared Aro putting a halt to them, it was simply nicer feeling that we were completely alone.

I told Marcus one night my plans to someday leave the Volturi. I expected him to tell me it would be impossible, that I wouldn't, couldn't, leave. But once again, he surprised me.

"I always knew, from that first moment I saw you in the chamber with Bella and Edward, you would find your way. I wish you luck, Jacob," he said, looking at me in a fatherly way that made me want to cry though I knew I couldn't. "I wish you the best of luck."

Luck indeed, was on my side.

It was the day of my twenty-eighth birthday. I wasn't sure why I bothered with my birthday anymore. It wasn't as though anyone really cared.

"Our human births," Aro had said once, "are irrelevant to us now. If we are to celebrate, then we celebrate our rebirths."

I didn't consider becoming a leech as rebirth, but I was smart enough to never say that to him.

I was sitting on the bed in my room. Though I couldn't sleep, I loved to lie on the bed and stare up at the ceiling and night, thinking about everything my life comprised of.

I was reading a book of poetry Marcus had given me from his personal collection. The tome was old, the spine frayed and nearly falling apart and whenever I opened it, the pages crinkled with a sound like dry leaves in autumn. It smelled of dust and ancient knowledge and I felt poetic just touching it.

The door opened, startling me. When I read, I often forget my surroundings, even with my enhanced senses. Aro is forever teasing me for it.

"You are needed in the main chamber," one of Aro's guards said. I looked up at him but he was already gone. I grumbled to myself silently. It was always like this; Aro beckoned and I had to come, like the dog I am.

In all the years I'd been with them, the Volturi had yet to truly break me. I rebelled in all the little ways I could. Thus, I took my sweet time arriving to the chamber.

When I finally stepped through the munificent doors, I immediately noticed the entire motley crew was assembled, including Jane, which was never a good sign.

"Honestly Jake-ie, what is the point of vampiric speed if you're still as slow as molasses?" Jane taunted, before anyone else could speak, as I met her eyes momentarily.

"Fuck off."

"Now, now children, settle down," Aro said.

"You summoned?"

"Yes," Aro spoke as he stood from his seat and walked towards me. "There have been a some recent developments among our people that require our attention."

I didn't like what he said. I didn't like how he said it, but more importantly, I did not like what he said.

"Who?" I asked apprehensively.

"It isn't so much a question of who as where."

My eyes narrowed. As I was about to reply, I cast a glance to behind Aro to Marcus. There was a look of barely contained anxiety on his face and instantly I knew.

"No," I said shortly. "I won't do it."

Aro put his hands on my shoulders. "Not up for debate, Jake."

I shoved him back hard, though he didn't so much as stumble.

"Find someone else Aro," I bared my teeth, my hands a pair of fists by my sides, "because I refuse to be the masochistic, suicidal puppet who kills his own mate for whatever sick game you've concocted," I hissed angrily. I turned away, intent on stalking out of the there but Aro grabbed me and spun me around forcefully to face him.

"My dear Jacob, you misunderstand," he said. That infuriating smile was back on his face and for a second I found myself itching to smash my fist against his mouth. Jane laughed from somewhere behind me. As I turned to face her, she spoke, finally revealing the truth.

"You're not killing Edward, Jake-ie. You're killing Bella."

TBC