Author's Note: 500 hits! :-D Many thanks to all those who've been sticking with this.
May the Force of others be with you. May the Force of others be with you. May the Force of others be with you.
KX-SERIES SECURITY DROID
I don't know what I kept doing wrong.
The moment my passengers laid eyes on me - bizarre Basic expression - they looked instantly shocked. The Captain even more than the Sergeant, who looked at him with the greatest sympathy.
"I'm K-9RO." Perhaps the shock was my appearance? "I'm a re-programmed Imperial droid." No effect. Were they unsure why I was there maybe? "General Draven has directed me to transport you to Corellia."
That did seem to have some effect; they boarded the U-wing at least. The Sergeant looked around us, frowning. "Is it just you?" She questioned.
"I was not advised that there would be any other crew," I replied. "Are you waiting for someone?"
"No," came the blunt answer from the Captain. "Let's get going."
"Yes, sir." And I went and settled in the co-pilot's seat, preparing the ship for take-off. The two shared another look - again, odd expression - as though this was not the response they had expected. I paused. "Captain, if you would prefer another pilot be assigned, I can -"
"No, it's fine," the Sergeant interrupted, and she started stowing away her bags. The Captain said nothing, took the pilot's seat, ignoring me. She came and stood at his shoulder, her eyes constantly flicking towards him in concern. "We weren't expecting… I didn't think the Alliance had any other KXs."
"I was confiscated by Rebel forces from Sullust and reprogrammed 71 days ago," I told her.
"Who by?"
I paused, searching. "Lieutenant Bax May. He was killed in action shortly after my re-programming."
That got the Captain's attention. He peered over at me, his expression unreadable. I suspect a protocol droid would have struggled also to interpret the look he gave me. "I'm sorry," he finally murmured. I gave no response; the receipt of his apology served no function to me, but I understood that it was important to him to offer it.
The Captain looked over his shoulder with a weak smile to the Sergeant. "Ready?"
She nodded, and went back to strap herself in. I closed the doors, fired up the engines, awaited clearance from Hangar Control.
Once we left, and were at lightspeed, the Sergeant came back to the front, put her hand on the Captain's shoulder and addressed me. "So, ground rules okay?" I waited, listening. There was a pause, again another look between them. Was I supposed to say something? "Right… 1) No chokeholds, no... picking me up and slamming me down to the floor." The Captain chuckled briefly. "2) Unless requested, no telling us the probability or odds of something."
Strange ground rules. "Yes, ma'am."
After another overly long pause, she turned to the Captain with a sympathetic smile. "Looks like Lieutenant May worked his way round the byproduct."
I'm still trying to figure out what she meant by that. What byproduct? In any case, the Captain gave her another weak smile, and then got up from his seat. "You have controls," he told me quietly. Once they were at the back of the ship I overheard him speak to her. "I'm fine. It… it's just strange, seeing him again. Even though... well, it's really not him."
"I know," she told him. "For me too."
I heard the creak of the bench as they sat down together, the rustle of clothing shifting. I looked over my shoulder quickly to determine their status; they were sitting side-by-side, each with an arm around the other; satisfied that they were comfortable, I returned 84.3% of my attention to the controls. 6.7% continued to listen to their conversation.
"Tell me about your contact," he said gently.
"Her name's Kyi Ban, she was a friend of Saw's. I worked with her once, ten years ago, before… before Saw left." She cleared her throat, continued. "Saw asked her to smuggle in heavy repeating blasters to a splinter group operating in the Core Worlds. Normally she smuggled people -" The Captain gave a displeased grunt. "- I know, I thought that too. Except the ships she sent in were empty. They came out full. She was smuggling people out of the Imperial core; defectors, Alliance sympathisers, anyone at risk. In the Core they had the money to pay… she helped us escape, my parents and I."
There was pause. "I hope she's still there then," the Captain said.
"Me too. Might take a little while to find her, she probably won't be working out of the same place, but if she's survived all these years she'll be there on Corellia. We might need to pay her…" Then she gave a short laugh. "We could sell her K-9RO."
I was 61.2% certain that she was only joking, but I might have been overly optimistic in my calculations. The Captain laughed too, increasing the probability to 77.9%. "K-2 would have been appalled."
After that they had 13.4% of my attention.
When we landed in Coronet City the Captain and Sergeant disembarked with instructions for me to stay put and to not be seen. 3 hours, 27 minutes later the Sergeant radioed in to say they had found Kyi Ban, and instructed me to bring the ship to the smuggler's hangar. I had to recalculate: 49.8% probability. I thought aloud, as I plotted in the hangar's co-ordinates, as long as they didn't turn me to scrap. That would be unfortunate.
The Captain and the Sergeant left Corellia on Kyi Ban's own ship, the hull bearing Coruscant registration numbers. The purple-skinned Twi'lek treated both humans with a maternal manner. Before they left, the Sergeant thrust out a blaster pistol at me. "Just in case," she told me, with a nostalgic smile. "Don't... just make sure everything's alright for when we get back. Take care of yourself."
I was busy calculating the odds that the smugglers would betray us when Kyi Ban suddenly turned to her ground crew and started barking orders in Twi'leki. "Make sure Jyn's ship is re-fuelled and restocked ready for their return! No one is to touch it otherwise, or they'll answer to me!"
Low, I estimated then. Sure enough, the U-wing is more than ready to leave at a moment's notice when Captain Andor and Sergeant Erso return. I don't know what it is that they're doing on Coruscant, neither they nor the General said - it is not necessary for me to know, I surmise - which has halted me from calculating the odds of their return. It is the Imperial City after all.
They've been gone for 37 hours now. It's very boring without them.
I analysed their military records, to pass the time when I'd run out of things to clean. I'd downloaded them when the General had given me my instructions. Sergeant's Erso's was relatively brief, and started with considerable detail regarding the events leading to her commission, and then were sparse after. Out of curiosity I calculated what the odds had been that she and the Captain had survived the Battle of Scarif, and was perplexed when I calculated that they were zero. I must have made a mistake somewhere. After the Battle of Yavin IV, during which she was still listed as an out-patient with a self-inflicted broken wrist, she had advised the council on safe locations for the Rebel fleet to retreat to, some of which the fleet had indeed used, and maintained the perimeter sensors. After she was hospitalised with pneumonia on Hoth, she had been transferred to weapons maintenance; her doctor's notes said she had been restless, and had been fixing broken surgical equipment with varying degrees of success. There were other notes referencing an attached report by Captain Andor, compiled prior to her extraction from Wobani, but the report had been redacted at his own instruction, and approved with the senate seal. Odd.
When I turned to Captain Andor's files I was disappointed to calculate how little time it would take to analyse them, as 86% of it had been redacted and was under seal. What little was left said was that he was part of the Intelligence wing under General Draven, and then there were some notes concerning potential disciplinary action for fraternising that were never followed up on, also under the instruction of Senator Mon Mothma.
I've no idea why it wasn't, it was so blatantly obvious that Captain Andor was fraternising with another officer below his rank.
It all clicked together when I was reading what was not redacted from the Captain's list of known affiliations. Amongst the list of names, there was a droid serial number: K-2SO, an Imperial KX-series security droid that the captain had successfully reprogrammed himself, and worked alongside for nearly three years. In the report the captain filed, he noted that 'an unexpected byproduct of the reprogramming is an unconventional sense of humour, and his protocols for strategic analysis now have greater priority over the Second Law, leading him to be able to use his own initiative if he calculates there is a risk to the First Law, and a general disdain for instructions. I recommend that K-2SO not be assigned to anyone of a sensitive disposition.'
If I had been human, I would have felt insulted. Was the reason why the Captain and Sergeant were uncomfortable around me because I wasn't funny and because I did what I was told?
I wished that I did know what they were doing. Then I'd have been able to calculate how long they were going to be. In the meantime, I tried to think of some jokes.
Error.
Author's Note: the Laws mentioned in Captain Andor's report are a reference to the Laws of Robotics that were coined in the great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov's extensive universe involving robotics and galactic empire. I would greatly recommend reading his works if you are unfamiliar with him; start with I, Robot, and then, if you find you're a fan, move on to Foundation.
The Three Laws of Robotics:
1) A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2) A robot must obey any order given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3) A robot must protect its own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
