~ᶊᶙᶉᶉᶕᶇᶁᶒᶉ~
Chapter 6 Home is where the heart is.
(present day)
We made love twice that night.
We fell asleep knowing we were forever together.
Edward needed to work the next day, so did I. I t was hard to step out the door, letting go of each other even though we knew that eight hours later we would see each other again.
It was just minutes before lunch break when the ground started shaking after an enormous bang.
My heart felt to the ground, I just knew it.. something is wrong with Edward.
I started running, running towards the place I knew Edward was working today.
I saw smoke before anything else. I wasn't the only one running. It was chaos. There were people all over.
People covered in blood. Tears started running down my face.
"Please let him be ok, please let him be ok" I chanted over and over again.
Then somebody grabbed me by the arm; "Bella, come with me, Edward …..."
Whatever he said, I didn't hear it. I felt my knees give away and felt more arms holding me.
I heard somebody screaming, to found out seconds later it was me.
I know I moved, but have no recollection of it.
The next thing I know, I am sitting in the barracks with friends of Edward, waiting for the doctor to come out and tell us, me, if he is still alive.
His friends told me that it was an airplane bomb that hadn't exploded when it was dropped.
Some kids found it and were throwing big stones at it, Edward saw it and tried to get there before it did explode... He was too late, the blast killed the kids and Edward got hit, he and a few other soldiers too.
One soldier died on impact, two others just like Edward were rushed to the hospital.
I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by the smell of coffee. I sat up and discovered someone had gotten a blanket for me. I looked around me, hoping to thank that person but no one looked at me.
Edward's friend Jasper stood in front of me holding coffee. "Here I thought you could use some."
"Thank you" I half whispered, having cried so much my voice was gone.
I took a sip and sighed. "How long do you think we need to wait before getting an update?" I asked him.
"Shouldn't be much longer, I think" was his answer, "it has been four hours since they started working on him"
I blinked, four hours, which can only mean it is very serious.
Tears started falling again. Jasper sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder holding me.
"I know Bella, I know... But as long as they are still fighting for him it is ok."
It took us another two hours of waiting before we finally saw a doctor coming to us.
"The family of Edward Cullen?"
I stood and said "yes, I am his wife"
He walked to me and sat next to me.
"We have been operating on his back and legs. Those were the most critical wounds. His head had some minor wounds, a few stitches nothing major. But his back, I am sorry we did the best we can do, the rest is up to Edward. We won't know for a couple of weeks maybe months if he will be able to walk again. First his legs need to heal, just like the wounds on his back. There was a lot of nerve damage and we can't tell you if they will heal up enough to be fully functional again."
Jasper asked the doctor some more questions, I was in shock. My sweet beautiful Edward, hurt so badly. He may never walk again. I started crying first softly then out loud. Jasper held me the whole time.
When I was calmer the doctor told us Edward would be out of recovery soon and we could see him then.
We sat in silence, waiting for the nurse to come and take us to Edward.
I walked into the room where Edward laid, he and nine other men.
The only privacy we got was by closing a curtain, but it didn't matter. He was alive, and that was all I could think about.
The doctors had already told Edward about his wounds.
He was angry and ashamed, feeling no longer the man he was, telling me to get out and to divorce him.
I just stood there, looking at him. Jasper walked in and did the thing I could not.
He told Edward to shut up and to be glad he was alive, the rest would follow.
I wish I could tell you Edward listened to him.
Four weeks later Edward finally started talking to me again, four whole weeks. I have never ever felt so much pain as in those four weeks, even when I found out my parents were dead.
In those four weeks I never left him other than to sleep at home or to eat, toilet visits, you know the usual.
A nurse had told me that first day, after I had run out of the room, that this was the reaction all the men with an injury like Edward's get. She said that if I really loved him I needed to hang in there. This mean man wasn't the Edward he used to be, it was a way to get his emotions out. The ones they love the most will be the one they hurt the most. They don't mean it. They can't help it, but if I hold on, I would get back the Edward he used to be. Well not the exact same Edward because of his legs, but the one I fell in love with.
So after those four weeks, I saw a glimpse of my Edward return to me. It would take many months before he was back being my Edward, but it was worth it.
After six weeks, he got cleared enough to be transported back to America.
They told me to pack our stuff and they would arrange for me to go with him.
I was excited but also afraid, I never been in an airplane before. I have never been to America before or even seen his family, and my English wasn't that good, but my love for Edward was bigger than my fear, so I packed up our stuff.
We flew to England first there we stayed for a week before we got the go ahead to travel to America.
When we finally landed at our end destination I saw some people waiting at the gate.
They were in normal clothes instead of the army clothes, so I knew it would be Edwards family.
The other wounded soldiers were already back on their way to their houses by the time we arrived. We needed to make an extra stop.
I saw what I thought to be his parents, one big guy holding on to a beautiful blond woman and a young lady who was jumping up and down trying to see more? I think..
Edward was brought out of the plane onto a gurney and lifted in an ambulance. I walked next to him, holding his hand.
I told him about the people waiting at the gate, he looked up and smiled. Yes it was his family.
I waved to them, letting them know we saw them and to follow us.
The ambulance drove to a hospital near the airport, when we arrived we got checked in and they checked Edward's condition. Meanwhile I needed to wait in the hallway.
There I got to meet his parents, brother with his girlfriend and the young lady who happened to be his little sister.
They all gave me a hug and were happy to see me, telling me how much they wanted to meet me.
But not like this, that I understood. I felt the same way.
After Edward was given a private room we all were allowed to visit him, it was a nice reunion of the family. A lot of tears and a lot of laughs.
His parents took me with them to their home when it was time to go.
Telling me I would stay there until Edward was better and we could get our own little place.
They have a guest house I could use till then.
Turned out Edwards family has money, a lot of money. So they told me, I didn't need to look for a job, so I could be with Edward as it was allowed.
This made me very happy. But also I felt sort of guilty about it...
I wanted to do something in return, but they said no! I needed to be with Edward, to help him heal to get him better. Loved ones needed to be with him, as his wife I was his loved one, and after me his parents and siblings.
So every day for seven weeks one of the Cullen men took me to Edward in the morning and picked me up before diner. In the evenings his parents or his brother or sister sat with him.
Then we got the news, Edward was to be released to go home.
We were all so happy.
We made sure the guest house was prepared for a wheelchair and that Edward got everything he
needed. Finally after so many weeks we got to sleep in the same bed, live in the same house and be together again.
He still needed help with many things but that didn't matter to me. I got him back.
He started to feel touch on his skin on his legs, so there was hope he would maybe one day get his legs back to working.
Being home, back with his family and me, it was working, it was good for him. He's started coming out of his shell, telling us more, letting us help him.. becoming our Edward again.
It was hard to believe, but It was a crazy feeling to lie in one bed together again.
I didn't know how much pain he still had, if I could touch him or not. I no longer knew the man who lies next to me.
Tears fall silently down my face, while I try not to move or wake Edward.
It is strange to be home once again, to lie in my own bed, next to my beautiful wife Bella.
The way she pulled both of us through this ordeal and still going for me, makes me love her more then I will ever be able to tell her.
But I can tell it took a toll of her too. She lost weight and sleep, her hair lost its gloss.
I know we need to talk, she needs to vent, to hit something to get rid of the anger that I know she has built up inside her. Although she will never tell anyone how she truly feels, she has been through so much. Losing her husband, getting back a shell of a man, taking care of that same man... who does nothing but being vile to her, because he can't stand the way his own life has become.
Leaving her home country with that same man, starting a life for the two of them in his parents' house… leaving behind her friends, losing her parents and oh let's not forget the 4 years of war she survived.
As we lie in bed I can feel the bed shake a little, then I hear it in her breathing, she is crying.
Because of me… again.
It takes me to bite my tongue not to scream from the pain, but I need to let her know.. I need to let her know I love her, I need to let her know I know what is going on in her head and life.
So I turn to my side and let my hand touch her face.. where I feel her warm fresh tears.
"Bella, I love you, I need you, I want you and I know what you did for me and our life together.
I can never ever tell you how much I appreciate everything you have done for us, for me.
Please know that I will do my very best to make your life better and for us to have a great life together. I am so sorry for all the pain I have put you through, can you ever ever forgive me?"
I pull her to me and kiss her nose, her cheeks, her eyes and her mouth.
I feel and hear her sigh, it feels like relieve?
"Bella, talk to me please"
"Edward, I am so scared of losing you, losing this place I now call home, losing my new family. Everything I did was for you, for us, to hopefully one day to be able to life our lives in our own home…. I love you Edward, I need you and I want you every day for the rest of my life."
"God, Bella, I thought I lost you somehow… that you didn't want me anymore after all the things I have said and done… I am so so sorry, I feel so ashamed, so unworthy of being your husband."
Bella sits up in our bed, "Edward Cullen, how dare you even think or say that? This" waving her hand over my useless legs "this is not your fault, it will never be your fault. It is the price you paid for helping people you don't even know the names of… I am so proud of you for that! And then you tell me this, that you are unworthy of me? What did I do that you can even think that? By saying this, all your work to save those people, bringing them home, reunited them with their families and friends will be for nothing. Is that nothing? Do you really think those people think you didn't do anything for them? That it was all worthless for them? Tell me, Edward" she is angry now.
"No, Bella, they don't think that… and no, you don't think that. I know that, but my heart is damaged." I start to cry, for the first time since.. ever.
"I am so scared too Bella, scared that I pushed you too much that I asked to much from you."
"We have both seen so much horror, been through so much loss and sadness… I am afraid I can't get my old self back and in that process will lose you".
"Edward, my sweet sweet husband, you will not lose me. If I would have thought that I could not handle this situation, I would have run that first day in the hospital when you yelled at me"
