Chapter 3.5: Zako Zako Hour

"Ladies and gentlebots," Red Mic said after the curtain rose, "Welcome to the ZakoZako Hour! Today's meeting it all about- all together now…"

"Why We Still Can't Win With All These Devices?" The hosts said at once.

"Zako-zako!" Red Mic cried, and the screen lit up to show the Dark Axis using their flight gear and dive equipment.

"I can't believe even though we have all these terrific weapons and vehicles we're still losing!" Blue Mic wailed, "In fact, when we went to Neotopia in the flying units, there was that guy who was called Guneagle!"

The screen then showed clips of Guneagle in flight, using his weapons and techniques.

"That guy was such a show-off!" Blue Mic said, "What a rude Gundam! He flies really fast, and is even able to transform! On top of everything, he's equipped with an arsenal dangerous missiles and deadly beam rifles!" He began to cry. "And! He! Even! Has! Some! Ultimate technique!"

Blue Mic fell to his hands and knees, sobbing. Red Mic went over and patted his head.

"There, there, zako." He said soothingly.

"Errgh!" Yellow Mic yelled suddenly, "We never win! Like the time we went to Neotopia wearing those ridiculous underwater units! There was this bunch of swimmer guys who called themselves Gundivers!"

The screen then showed the Gundivers.

"In fact," Yellow Mic went on, "There are actually seven of them- one for each day of the week. These guys can transform, too, can you believe that? And they also have an impressive array of weapons!" He began to cry. "They are all capable of performing ultimate techniques, too!"

Like Blue Mic, Yellow Mic fell to his hands and knees, sobbing. With that feeling of déjà vu, Red Mic went over and patted him on the head.

"There, there, zako, please don't cry," Red Mic comforted, "Just because the enemies' better!"

The hosts froze. Then, after exchanging looks, they cried, "Better!? No wonder we're always losing!"

"Enough is enough!" Red Mic yelled.

Blue and Yellow Mic nodded. "Zako-zako!"

Blue Mic then smacked his hands together. "It's time for some action, zako! So! I've prepared a brand new weapon just for the occasion, zako!"

Red and Yellow Mic looked at him in amazement. "Wow, a new weapon?"

Blue Mic rushed off of and back on to the stage carrying a large flight pack, with dozens of missiles, a gatling gun, drills, battle axes attached.

"Tada!" Blue Mic declared, showing off the new machine. "This unit is equipped with an ultra-space universe bazooka cannon, gatling-triple-double-wonderful drill gun, super-missile rocket machine gun-gun-gun, zako!"

"Zako…" The other hosts said in awe.

Then Yellow Mic asked thoughtfully, "But can you make an intricate weapon such as that actually work?"

None sooner were the words said when the 'secret weapon' fell apart, littering the stage with scrap. Blue Mic chuckled nervously.

Red Mic and Yellow Mic fell into the abyss of despair. "We cannot win…!"

"There must be a way to defeat them, zako!" Blue Mic pondered. Then, his eye lit up as inspiration struck. "Wait, I've got it!"

Red Mic and Yellow Mic gave him dry looks. "What's it gonna be this time?"

Blue Mic triumphantly said, "If the enemy's getting extra help, then we too must get extra help!"

"Good idea!" Red Mic and Yellow Mic said, impressed.

But then Yellow Mic looked doubtful. "But where are these helpers going to come from, zako?"

Now all three hosts chuckled nervously. That was a good question…

"Looks like you three are ready for your new mission!"

The hosts panicked as the Commander's shadow appeared on the screen. After two second of running and screaming, the faced the screen and stood to attention.

"Commander! Sir!" They squeaked in voices mixed with fear and respect…but mostly fear.

"Back to boot camp." The Commander said sternly.

"Yes, sir…"

The iron curtain slammed down, and Red Mic's voice echoed over the audience, now despondent.

"Anyway, everyone, for the future of the Dark Axis…"

"Zako Soldiers, fight! Yeah!"