Note: Today is the anniversary of a very bad day for me, so please forgive me if this isn't the best chapter ever, but I felt the need to write, it makes me feel a little bit better...
Qu'est-ce qui est si grand du fait de survivre en tout cas?
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally
-Family Portrait by Pink-
Pain sucks, that's a fact that Jamari had discovered the last few days, and it wasn't getting better. She hadn't seen Josef much since he helped her get dressed, lately, it's been his house keeper, Macy, helping her out. She didn't mind, Macy was funny in an odd sort of way
She was stuck in bed, as usual, and bored out of her mind. There was nothing good on TV and Macy was working, there was nothing to entertain her.
She slowly stood from the bed, she stumbled and quickly caught herself on the bedside table. Once she got her bearings she stood straight and attempted to walk to the door.
She'd never really explored his house before, there must be so many room she hadn't seen. He couldn't honestly expect her to just sit back and not search the house. The hall was full of doors, most leading into other large bedrooms, but she noticed the further she went down the hall, the more interesting the rooms got, one was a in home theater, much like the one she used to have back home. Then another was large room with a fully stocked bar, she made note of which door that was, she would defiantly be visiting it soon.
Their were to more doors, the first one she tried to open was locked, the only room in the whole hall that was locked. That just pissed her off, what was he hiding behind this locked door? Maybe his room? She didn't stay at the door to long, it only made her more curious. The next door opened as easily as the others, and when she looked inside she gasped.
"Sanctuary..."
The walls were lined with books, which in itself was exciting for her. But then in the center of the room was a large Baby Grand piano, her two favorite things, books and music combined in one nice room.
She ran her hand across the spine of the books, it was odd, she didn't picture Josef as a literary guy. He seemed more interested in his Ferrari than The Scarlet Letter. Her hand landed on one of the books, she titled her head to read the leather spine.
"Bram Strokers Dracula..."
She smiled and pulled out the book, it was obviously very old, probably one of the originals printed. Josef must have paid a small fortune for this book...Jamari took one last look around the room, reminding herself to come back when she finished this one.
-Later-
When Josef entered Jamari's room he saw her curled up by the window. The sun hadn't set yet, the last few beams of light were shining through across the pages of her book.
"I see you found the library."
She turned to him with a smile. "Yes I did, Dracula..."
He smirked. "What did you call me?"
She smiled again and held the book up. "Dracula, you said you were a vampire remember?"
He laughed. "Yes, I remember."
"Well, Josef isn't a vampire-ish name, so, I'm renaming you, Dracula."
"Vampire-ish? Well please, do tell, what is a vampire-ish name?"
"Well you know, things like Dracula, Jean-Claude, Leonardo...you know, exotic names...old names..."
He walked to her bed and laid across it. She smiled up at him.
"Well, if I was a vampire, maybe Josef wasn't my real name...Think about it, if I was old, then I would have to change my name throughout the years."
"What would your real name be then?" She asked with a hint of laughter to her voice.
"I dunno, Charles, Jacob, Oliver..." His list rolled off his tongue without him thinking.
She smiled at him. "Well, maybe I'm a vampire too, what do you think my name would be?"
He shook his head. "Your name fits you."
"Why do you say that?"
"You mean, you honestly don't know what it means?"
She shook her head. "I figured my mom had just had one to many the day she decided to name me."
He laughed. "Jamari means warrior, and you middle name, Elita, means special one...so, you're special.."
She smirked. "Special? As in 'stop eating the paste' special?"
He laughed again. "No, as in you're a special girl..."
"Aw, don't tell me you're going all soft on me."
"No, just being honest...I figure you're honest with me right?" He smirked at her.
She bit her lip. "You know don't you?"
He nodded, she leaned back with a grimace.
"Why'd you lie to me?"
"Because, does it really matter why I don't get along with my family? I'm not going to spill my guts to you, I just met you, besides, as soon as I've healed I'll never see you again...so why should I tell you my whole sorted past?"
"You didn't have to lie, you could have just said that you didn't want to talk about it..."
"And you would have accepted that?"
He nodded. "Yea, I would have..."
"Wow, most people would bug the shit out of me until I told them something..."
He shrugged. "I like to think that I'm not like most people."
She shook her head. "You're not."
"Thanks..."
She sighed and put the book down, then slowly turned her body to face him. He could see how the simple movement hurt her.
"Well, then, I'm going to be honest with you, because you didn't force me too...you should feel special, I haven't told many people what I'm about to tell you..."
He smiled at her sudden serious expression. "Well, I'm honored then."
She nodded. "You should be..." She bit her lip and ran her hand through her hair nervously. "I ran away from home, but you already know that much, I'm guessing you had a background search done on me..." He nodded, she continued. "I had my reasons for doing it, it wasn't an attention reason, I wasn't trying to become even more famous, or anything of that sort. I just needed to get away from my...family." She spat family out like it was a venom.
"They were abusive, and no, not in the 'oh, they gave me a spanking when I was five' kind of way...in the I had to hide the bruises kind of way...so, I started suicide attempts, I didn't want to die, but it was my only way out...but I can't even do that right. You know how sad it is that I can't even kill myself without failing?"
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
She scoffed. "Please, my parents would never beat their child, they were the fucking saints of the city. Always donating to charities, never seen in bad positions, they were fucking perfect. People would look at me as the 'poor little rich girl' whose parents don't love her...no, I wasn't going to do that. So when my grandfather died and left me his fortune, me, Tobie, and Camryn came here, they said they'd go where ever I went."
He nodded. "They seem like good friends."
She smiled. "The best a girl could get."
"Why didn't you start school over here?"
She sighed. "I knew as soon as my name popped up in some school system my parents would know, so I just stayed home."
He nodded, she seemed to be done with her little confession. She took a deep breath then continued. "I've never had sex, I can't seem to trust someone enough, hell, I haven't even had my first kiss, how lame is that? I mean, I'm 20 fucking years old! I should be, I dunno, experienced at least a little bit now right?"
He shrugged. "To each is own..."
She glared at him. "Don't pull that shit with me...I know it's pathetic."
"You know, you never struck me as a virgin..."
She smiled. "I live with Camryn and Tobie, their fucking gorgeous, you know how many beautiful men they bring home?"
He laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"If you're around people who have sex, you get comfortable talking about it."
He nodded. "Understandable."
"So, I've officially spilled my guts to you...now, tell me about yourself."
He shook his head. "There's nothing to tell..."
"Oh come on, tell me at least one thing that most people don't know..."
"Okay...Murders don't bother me, when I read that another person has been killed, it doesn't affect me."
"Wow, that's creepy."
"Wait, I'm not done...it's when children are hurt that it really bothers me...I can't stand hearing about a child being killed, or abused. I mean, their just children, they don't deserve anything like that..."
"I never pegged you for a kids person."
He shook his head. "I'm not, but that doesn't mean I want them to be harmed. We were all kids once, I personally couldn't imagine living through a childhood where I lived in fear of my parents abuse...like you did."
She shrugged. "Yea, but I did..."
"And you survived."
"What's so great about surviving anyway?"
"If you wouldn't have survived I would have never met you."
"And would that have been so bad?"
He nodded. "For me? Yes."
She shook her head. "See, this is why I don't tell anyone about this, people pity me, and I can't stand that."
"I'm not pitying you, I'm being honest."
"You're a really bad liar Josef."
"Or maybe you just want me to be lying."
"Why would I want you to lie?"
"So you can stay detached, you don't want to accept the fact that a man would actually enjoy your company, that he wouldn't be annoyed by you. That's why you're so sarcastic all the time, you want to keep people out."
"Wow, what episode of Maury was that on? Was it the one with the transvestite?"
He got up off the bed and knelt down in front of her. "Just for once, be serious with me when I'm being honest."
"I don't understand how you can stand to be around me...you must have the patience of a saint."
"You're not near as awful as you seem to think you are."
"Yes I am, I'm sarcastic and bitchy. I'm a total mess and I..."
He stopped her sentence with a kiss. When he pulled back she just stared at him. "And I can't stand my own company...oh my God, you just kissed me..."
He laughed. "Yea, I did."
"Why?"
He smirked. "Do I really need a reason?"
"Yes, yes you do, you don't just kiss a person without a reason."
He stood up. "To shut you up...is that a good enough reason?"
She just bit her lip, he smirked at her then turned and walked out the door.
