Part 7

"I'll call this meeting to order, shall I?" asked Joanne once everyone was seated.

Roy waved in her direction. "Go ahead, Madam PTA President."

Joanne nodded, and became serious. "So, some weeks ago, we were all affected by a terrible thing." She looked at her husband first, and then at Johnny and Jane, who were sitting near each other, but not side by side.

Johnny had taken the easy chair, and Jane was on the end of the sofa. Joanne had pulled the rocking chair into the middle of the room on the other side of the coffee table. Roy was on the other end of the sofa, but they could all see each other clearly.

Joanne took a deep breath, and continued, "A man with mental health issues and a history of violence brought a gun to the school our children attend and you teach at, Jane. He hurt our principal, Mr. Melville, and shot our gym teacher, Mr. Wayne. He threatened to hurt other people, and tried to take a young child against her will. Have I covered all the main points?" The others nodded.

"Okay. As a result of this, you, Roy, and you, Johnny, were called to assist the victims. You, Jane, tried to get the children in your class, including our daughter, away from the school and to safety." They nodded again. "Then all of you talked to this man, and he gave himself up to the police. After that, you treated the victims." She nodded toward her husband and his partner.

She bit her lip, and then said, "You all realize that I was the only one in this room who was not there that day until it was all over? You three were the key players. I don't know what happened except for what Roy and other parents told me, and what was on the news." No one else spoke.

After a moment, she sighed, and then went on. "This is what I understand happened next. Johnny stopped speaking to Jane. Roy had bad dreams and then stopped talking to me. Jane, I don't know what happened with you. Maybe this would be a good time for you to say something about that."

Jane looked at the others, and tried to get her thoughts together. "When you say it all like that, Joanne, it sounds like some sort of, I don't know, thing that couldn't have really happened. When I was in it, all I could think about was keeping the children safe. Then when we..." she glanced over at Johnny quickly, but he had his head bowed, just listening,"…we were talking to Mr Wilson, I was aware that here was a man in great pain, and maybe, just maybe, he didn't really want to do the things he was doing...and it seemed that perhaps Johnny was thinking the same thing, because we were talking and it was like we were almost one person, not two, saying those things..."

Johnny looked up at her and made eye contact with her for the first time since the incident. Jane stopped talking, and after a moment both of them broke contact and looked away, embarrassed.

Roy came into the conversation. "I saw the way you two were getting Wilson to be calm, and getting him to give up his gun, and I was really impressed. At that point I wasn't needed; in fact I almost was a liability. I could have thrown things off, if I hadn't followed Johnny's lead."

Johnny looked at Roy and said quietly, "Thanks."

Roy shook his head, "No, thank you, Johnny. You were right in there. You both were. I honestly don't believe that any trained policeman could have done better than you two did." He started to become more animated, and continued, "I've thought about it again and again, and I think we all did the best we could under the circumstances, and..." his voice got a bit louder, "I think we did the best anybody could have done under the circumstances." He sat back in his seat, a bit nonplussed by his own reaction.

Johnny cleared his throat and said, "I think we're all agreed that it was because of the children we did what we did."

"No question. Yes, you're right. That's true," the three other voices overlapped.

John turned toward Jane. "I owe you an explanation."

"Yes, you do," she replied.

"What I said just now? Because of the children? Well, that's what stopped me talking to you, Jane." The two women looked confused, and Johnny straightened up in his chair, getting ready to explain in more detail. "I saw what happened when you were in danger - I mean, not when you were in it, but afterwards, when I saw you at the police station – how I really lost it."

Jane gave a minute nod of her head, and said softly, "It was understandable."

"I don't care if you understand it, I care that I did it. I don't want to treat you like that. Or anyone, for that matter. It was wrong. And I know that you want to have children someday..."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that if we did end up, sometime, you know, maybe, get married or whatever, you'd prob'ly want to have kids."

"Yes..." she said in a small voice, "I love kids. You know that."

He nodded, "I kinda got that from you bein' a teacher and all. And we'd sort of, not really, talked a bit..."

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Johnny!" interrupted Joanne, "Can't you say it straight out?" Roy raised his eyebrows at her, and she subsided. "Sorry. Go on."

"Okay, straight out? I don't think I would be a good dad or husband based on what I saw in myself the other day. And...and I don't even know if I believe it's a good idea to have kids in this crazy world. There. That's it. Straight enough for you, Joanne?"

Jane bit her lip, trying not to get emotional, but all her hopes, her dreams were shot down by his words.

Joanne was so frustrated, that she stood up. "Seriously, Johnny? That's what you think? Boy, have you got a lot to learn."

As usual, Roy tried to act as peacemaker. "Joanne, what he means is..."

"I know what he means, Roy! I heard him just as well as you did! But let me tell you a thing or two, John Gage!" She grabbed the back of her chair and leaned on it, as if it were a shield and she was a warrior maiden heading into battle. "I hear a lot of talk these days about how awful it is to bring children into this crazy messed up world, and even how selfish we are to have kids and put a strain on the planet with overpopulation and all that, but I don't believe any of that!"

She came around in front of Johnny and knelt on the carpet before him. "Look at me, Johnny." He looked into her face. "You've known me as long as you've known my husband. We're a team too. I'm going to tell you about our family."

Johnny grinned crookedly, despite himself, at Joanne's passionate speech. "Okay, I'm listening, but couldn't you sit down?"

They all chuckled, and Joanne pulled up the rocking chair to within inches of his knees. "Fine. I'm sitting. Do you know why Roy and I had kids?"

Johnny looked a little uncomfortable, and a bit embarrassed. "Uh, no..."

"Because we believe that the world is a better place when two people who love each other have children, instead of leaving it only to those who only do it by accident. We know that the world is nicer, happier and more optimistic because Chris and Jenny are alive in it. I don't expect either of them to solve world hunger, or stop gun violence or anything like that, but you know what? They just might - who am I to say? What I do know is their laughter, their learning, their promise of becoming good upstanding adults - that makes a difference. And I am so honoured to be their mother. It is a privilege..." she stopped as her emotions got the best of her. Roy reached out and put his hand on her leg, and she took it and squeezed it with her own.

Roy then spoke. "I couldn't have said it better, Joanne, and I agree with every word." He looked at his partner, "And I saw you with Chris earlier tonight - in your heart, I think you agree too."

Johnny put his hand over his mouth as if wiping away something. He didn't speak. Jane felt a tear fall unbidden from her eye, and surreptitiously wiped it away. She held her breath, as if her future was hanging from John's next words. He took a deep breath, and finally said, "Yeah, I can see that."

"See what, Johnny?" Jane asked apprehensively.

"I see what you're all saying. Having kids can be a good thing."

"Yeah..." said Roy. They waited to see if there was more from him.

"If the right people do it. The right people being those who know how to love their kids."

"Uh..."

"No, John, that's not quite right," said Jane.

"Huh?" asked Johnny.

"As a child, Beethoven was forced to play the piano even while he cried, because his alcoholic father wanted to make money from his child prodigy like Mozart's father had."

"Uh, sorry, I don't get what that has got to do with this."

"Because even though, by our standards, Beethoven's father was not a good dad, if he hadn't had his son, the world would have missed out on the Moonlight Sonata, Fur Elise, and the Fifth Symphony. We can't judge what a child may bring that is beautiful and bright based on their parents."

"So, you're saying..."

"I'm saying that no one has perfect parents, but most people try to do their best. And that's enough for children to grow and become whatever their potential may be, and perhaps write beautiful music, or be a good paramedic or teacher or parent themselves one day..."

Joanne smiled approvingly at Jane. "Well said, Jane." She turned to Johnny. "Do you get it now?"

Roy grinned. "You'd better give 'em something back here, Johnny."

"What about Wilson?"

"What about him?" exclaimed Joanne, "We don't know all the reasons why he did what he did, but we know that he's one in a million, maybe more, who had something wrong in his head, and maybe it was due to bad parenting, and maybe it had gone on for generations, who knows? You can choose, Johnny, to be a better person, a better paramedic, a better fireman..."

"A better dad," said Roy. Johnny gave him an 'et tu, Brute?' look and Roy just shrugged. "Well, personally I think you'd make a great dad. I think I know you pretty well. My kids think you would, anyway."

"We're not trying to get you into something, Johnny. We just don't feel that the way you've been the last few weeks is what you really want or who you really are," added Joanne.

"Did you guys plan this out before hand?" he asked suspiciously.

"No," Joanne laughed, "This is all happening here and now. But look at how different we feel about things, because we've talked about them. This man Wilson isn't the ogre under the bridge ready to eat us anymore - instead we see him more clearly as a man, with major issues, who has affected our lives for a moment. Let's not give him the rest of our lives as well, okay?"

After a moment's reflection, John said to his friend, "Y'know, Roy, you married a pretty smart cookie."

"Yep. I know. And you were - are? - dating one too."

Johnny turned to look at Jane, so sheepishly that she chuckled, but she wasn't going to make it easy for him. "Yes?" she asked with her eyebrows raised and a half smile.

"So, um..."

Roy and Joanne looked at each other and quickly excused themselves from the room.

In the kitchen they both succumbed to the laughter that bubbled up from their bellies. It was probably more due to the relief from the stress of the past while than anything else, but it sure felt good.

After what they felt was a decent interval, Roy and Joanne came back to the family room. "Can we come in?" Roy asked.

"Your house – you do what you want!" called Johnny from the sofa, where he had his arm around Jane.

"Now that's what I like to see," said Joanne, "It's about time." Jane smiled and raised her eyebrows at her friend. "I mean, uh…"

Johnny grinned, "It's okay, Joanne. I'm cool."

Jane said, "I'd like to add something to our previous conversation, if you don't mind."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Well, we were all talking before about how it was because of the children that all this happened. I'd like to share something about why I did what I did."

"Yeah, I'd like to hear that," said John, serious once again.

"Before you arrived, after Wilson started shooting and calling for his daughter, Karen said something to me." Jane became very grave. "She said, 'My daddy hurt me and my mommy, that's why he was in jail. I don't want to go with him.'" She paused because it was very hard emotionally for her to say the next part; "She said, 'Please, Miss MacKay.'" Again her feelings threatened to overcome her, but she continued, "I don't know what that little girl has had to live through in her six short years, but I imagine it would give all of us nightmares. She knew it was because of what her father had done to her that he was in jail. What pain and betrayal has she experienced?" The others listened attentively.

She turned her face to look Johnny in the eyes. "That's why I had to go out there. She begged me to help her. I had to do whatever I could." Her chin quivered. "I can't take her home and protect her from the violence and insecurity of her life. But oh, I so want to!"

John gently squeezed the shoulder that lay underneath his hand, and she leaned her head towards him. He said, "Sometimes, we get a run, and it involves a child who's hurt. Those are always the worst for me. I know what you mean, Jane, you just have to do whatever you can for them, even if you know it will never be enough."

"I guess that's something we all share," added Roy.

"Sometimes I wonder what kind of mother I would be – I feel like such a lioness about protecting the kids I teach, and they aren't even my flesh and blood!"

"I think that you will make a great mother one day, Jane," stated Joanne.

Johnny removed his arm from around Jane's shoulder. "Oookay… Uh, Roy, you got anything to drink in the fridge?" he asked as he started to rise.

Roy nodded and the two men left, with Joanne calling, "Chicken!" after Johnny.

"Hoo, yeah!" he said to Roy.