Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. Thanks for the reads and reviews. Also, hi, lurkers. No warnings I think, except that you shouldn't believe me about history. So, please enjoy and let me know what you think. Happy reading!


Donna was surprised to find Giacomo Casanova and Madame de Pompadour walking in to her room the next morning.

Though she really shouldn't have been.

She suspected Jack would have something to say on that subject.

"Bonjour, Comtesse," said Casanova, flinging the windows open.

"I am so sorry to wake you, but we have an appointment and we mustn't tarry," said Reinette. She walked to the girls on the edge of the bed. "Bonjour, mes trésors."

"Bonjour," Zara and Georgiana replied.

"What appointment?," asked Donna.

Casanova smiled. "We've come up with a plan."

"You have?"

It was a whirlwind as Donna was dressed and made up by the maids. The same to Zara and Georgiana. Reinette led them into a room.

"Sorry, what's this?," asked Donna.

"Le Salon d'Apolon," said Reinette. "Monsieur Drouais, may I introduce la Comtesse de TARDIS? Comtesse, this is François-Hubert Drouais, the finest painter in France."

The painter looked at her skeptically. "Who is she?"

"She is my dear friend and these are her exquisite daughters, Zara and Georgiana."

He looked at Donna again. "I've never heard of her."

"Well," said Casanova, "we commissioned you to paint her portrait, so now you know her."

"My portrait?," asked Donna.

Casanova stepped closer to Donna. "My notion is that we have your portrait painted and put it in one of the royal collections where it will be seen through the ages. If your husband gets around as you say, he ought to run into it. That will lead him here."

"That could work," said Donna.

"Of course it will. I'm a genius," said Casanova.

Donna rolled her eyes.

"What am I to do with that hair?," moaned Drouais.

"What's wrong with my hair?," asked Donna.

"Mummy's ginger," said Zara.

"Precisely," said Drouais.

"Oi!," said Donna.

"Monsieur Drouais, may I remind you of your commission?," asked Casanova. "Quite a handsome sum."

Drouais sighed. "I will need more red."


Donna came back in the Noble house with Ella. John was still rocking Chloe, trying to soothe her.

"You! What's going on?," shouted Sylvia. She looked at Donna. "And why do I have ten year olds calling me 'Gran'? How long have you been gone?"

"Right," said John, "I'm not the Doctor, this is Donna, but not your Donna. Those two are your grandchildren in a parallel dimension, but this is your new granddaughter, Chloe."

Sylvia just shook her head. "What?"

"Do you have any formula?," asked John.

"No. Donna breastfeeds."

Donna widened her eyes. "What? She's still breastfeeding the one year old?"

Sylvia shook her head. "Believe me, I tried to tell her. It was different in my day."

Josh entered. "Mum, did you see you're on telly here, too?"

"What?," asked John.

"Yeah, in between the ghost reports. You said you were getting her, Ella," he said with a scowl.

"The monster was here."

Josh rolled his eyes.

"Never mind that, show me the telly," said John.

They rushed back in the sitting room where Tullis was on the sofa. "Hello, again."

"Josh, show me where you saw your mum on the telly."

Josh started flipping channels. "I don't see what the big deal is, Mum's on telly all the time."

"No, she's not," said John. "Donna Noble in this universe is never on the telly."

Sylvia shook her head. "Well, there was that one time when she taunted David Beckham."

Donna laughed. Josh looked at her with a pained expression. "Mum!"

"Just focus, Josh," John prodded.

"Here it is," said Josh, cranking up the volume.

"Well, quite a development today at the National Gallery where museum curators unveiled a new painting. Quite a story on this one."

The news then changed to a media conference at the National Gallery. The Doctor and the Oracle entered.

"Oh, look he's got a bow tie," said the Doctor. He looked at the Oracle. "I told you bow ties were cool."

"Quiet," said John.

"It's always a special day when we unveil a new painting at the National Gallery and this painting has taken quite a journey to arrive here today. It was painted by Francois Hubert Drouais commissioned by Madame de Pompadour. It became part of the royal collection of Versailles until it was given as a gift by none other than Giacomo Casanova on the condition that it not be shown publicly until today. Well, let's unveil it, shall we?"

The cloth came off it to reveal...

"Donna," said John.

"And the girls!," cried Donna.

"What the hell is going on?," asked Sylvia.

"That's it," said John. "All we have to do is find in when that was painted, go in afterward and we'll have found Donna and the girls."

"What about Lydia?," asked the Oracle.

John shook his head. "I don't know, but we'll be better off than we are now."

"And the baby?," asked Sylvia.

"The safest place for her is still the TARDIS, Sylvia," said John.

"You could come with us," suggested the Doctor.

Sylvia snorted. "Once was enough, thank you very much."

"We'll take care of her, I promise," said the Oracle. "Just until we get your daughter back."

Sylvia frowned. "Sorry, but who the hell are you?"

"I'm married to your son-in-law in a parallel universe."

Sylvia nodded. "I'm just going to go have some tea."

"Could I trouble you for a cup?," asked Tullis.


All in all, Donna should have been having a pretty good time.

She was at Versailles. The weather was perfect. There was a lovely picnic. Zara and Georgiana were happily playing with Casanova as they chased him and he pretended to be struck down. She really could have used a camera about now. She was never going to get Zara in a dress that adorable again.

Casanova walked over to Donna and sat down.

"You are sad, Countess."

Donna shook her head. "It's just... it's been days. I thought he would have found me by now. It's stupid, I know. What if something's happened and he's forgotten all about me?"

"No one could ever forget you, Countess."

She smiled. "You know I'm not really a countess, right?"

Casanova shrugged. "So what? I'm not half the things I say I am."

"And what about the things you are?"

"Well, those would have to be seen."

"Not happening, sunshine."

"I say, Countess, how did your husband ever court you?"

Donna smiled. "With great difficulty."

She looked across the garden at a woman with an entourage. She had light brown skin and there was something mischievous about her. "Who's she?"

"Madame de Mare," said Casanova. "The King's new mistress."

"What's Reinette then?"

"She's still the maitresse en titre, but time goes on, a man's attentions wander to new diversions."

Donna looked over at Madame de Mare. "Oh, I bet she's plenty diverting. I don't see what makes her so much better than Reinette, though." She looked to see Casanova's sheepish expression. "Oh, you didn't."

"What?"

Donna leaned in to whisper. "You slept with her?"

"Well..."

"Oh, my God, am I the only woman you haven't slept with at the entire French court? Well, Reinette, I suppose..."

Casanova looked even more guilty.

"Oh, my God!," said Donna.

"Don't tell anyone."

"Who am I going to tell? I don't even speak French!"

Zara walked over. "Mummy, c'est la tarte."

Donna picked the words Mummy and tart out of that. She widened her eyes in horror as Casanova laughed heartily.

"Zara, you shouldn't use that word. Unless we're talking about dessert and if anybody asks you are." She glanced over at Casanova, who was still enjoying Zara's comment. "Enough of that."

"Oh, I would love to know how sweet Zara learned that word."

Donna sighed and sat Zara down in her lap. "My husband, sometimes he meets people out of order and this woman keeps turning up. She acts like they are... together in the future."

"Oh, la tarte," laughed Casanova.


Donna walked in the salon where Reinette sat with Madame de Mare. The woman turned and smiled sweetly.

"Countess, may I introduce Madame de Mare?," asked Reinette. "She too is new at Versailles."

Madame de Mare waited a moment, as if she was waiting for Donna to say something. Finally, she spoke. "Countess."

"Nice to meet you," said Donna. She could feel Zara tugging at her skirt.

"These are the Countess' lovely daughters," said Reinette. She held her arms out. "Viens ici, mes trésors."

Zara and Georgiana walked forward and settled into Reinette's embrace.

"How long are you a guest at Versailles?," asked Madame de Mare.

"Oh, I don't know. Could be a month, could be five minutes."

"The Count is away on business in a faraway land," said Reinette. "It has been my pleasure to look after his family for him."

"Well," said Madame de Mare, "I do hope you enjoy your stay at Versailles."

"Thanks," said Donna, not entirely sure what to make of the lady.


There was something about running.

Lydia ran from River. She had never done that before. She never could. She was always held down or tied up. The closest she had ever come was that last day when her dad had grabbed her.

They ran and ran. They ran so long the next thing she remembered was waking up.

She ran into a building. A castle with a narrow little staircase that seemed to go on in the dark forever.

She didn't like the dark.

They used to lock her in a dark tube and tried to cut her off from the universe. She stopped on the stairs for a moment and hyperventilated a little. Then she dragged herself up the rest of the stairs, using her one good arm on the rails. She finally arrived at the roof. She wasn't alone. In fact, she was being stared at by people as she struggled to catch her breath. She realized she still had the splint that the Doctor had made on. It finally began to register again that her arm hurt.

The Doctor. Where had the Doctor gone? Where had she gone for that matter? What had he called River Song for?

Suddenly, there was a clap of thunder in the sky, followed by several others. She looked to realize that the others on the rooftop were pointing upwards. Lydia saw several ships materializing among the clouds. She heard screams below.

The Doctor looked up in dismay at the sky.

"Not today," he said. "Oh, no, not today! Not now!"

River looked at him. "What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"The Asterica Invasion of Barcelona. We have to find her. Right now!"

The Doctor started running again and River followed into the swarm of people as they fled or sought shelter.


Lydia was in shock as the first shuttle landed on the roof of the castle. A bay door smacked down on the stones, rattling them. The others ran as some soldiers came down shooting. Lydia ducked behind one of the turrets and stayed until she suddenly felt someone grab her by her broken arm.

She screamed and looked up to see some kind of man in a metal mask. From the bits of visible skin, she could see he was green.

He said something and started dragging her.

"Uh, didn't understand that," she said.

He took out a cylindrical object and waved it over her. It lit up with a blinking purple light.

"What was that?," she asked.

He seemed to nod in approval and dragged Lydia onto the ship.

"Lydia!"

She looked across to see the Doctor and River.

"Doctor!," she screamed as the door came slamming down.

The Doctor watched helplessly as the ship flew away.

"We have to go after her," said the Doctor.

"No, I thought we'd just leave her," said River.

"The Asterica travel world to world seeking what they think is the most unique genetic variation they can find. It's taken and bred into the royal family."

River furrowed her brow. "You said she was your alternate's daughter."

"Yeah."

"So, she's a Time Lady?"

"Yeah."

"But they've never seen a Time Lady before. No one has."

The Doctor stared at her.

"I meant a full one!," she said quickly. "Don't freak out on me."

"Right," said the Doctor. He looked at the other Asterica ships. "We need to get on one of those."

"What a lovely day for a hijacking," said River.

The Doctor looked back to see she was holding a gun.

"Where did you get a gun?," he spat.

"Are you going to argue or are we going to get started with the hijacking?"

"I have this thing about guns," said the Doctor.

River rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, though if you ask me you're a bit inconsistent at times."

"Right," said the Doctor, "allons-y!"

With that he leapt off the edge of the castle onto a neighboring roof only about twenty feet lower.

River sighed. "Oh, I'd almost forgotten about the catchphrases."

"Are you coming?," the Doctor shouted from the neighboring building.

"Of course, sweetie! I wouldn't want you to have to threaten them with a screwdriver!," she shouted as she leapt down to the next building.


The TARDIS materialized in the middle of the National Gallery. The Doctor, the Oracle, John, Donna and Amy stepped out

John immediately spotted the painting and ran over.

"You know what it reminds me of?," he heard a woman saying. "That relief in the Roman room at the British Museum. She looks just like that woman."

Donna stepped up next to them.

"Okay," she said. "That's them. That's definitely them."

The other patrons stared at Donna.

"Yeah," she said, "I get that all the time."

The Doctor looked. "Brilliant! Commissioned by Madame de Pompadour, given as a gift by Casanova, all to end up right here on this day!"

"Now just to sort out when it's from," said the Oracle.

"So, they couldn't have just put the date on it?," asked Amy.

"Drouais was a temperamental artist," said John. He stepped closer.

"Sir," said the guard, "please step back from the painting."

The Doctor held up the psychic paper. "John Smith, French Painting Inspector. Everyone please step back!"

The crowd stepped back.

"Why do people fall for that?," asked Donna.

"There's something hidden here under the paint," said John. "A message."

The Doctor stepped forward with the sonic screwdriver and shined an ultraviolet light on it.

"No," said John.

"I'm sorry," said the Doctor.

"We have to go now," he said, running back towards the TARDIS.

"John?," called Donna.

Amy stepped forward. "La Dame est en train de mourir," she read.

"The lady is dying," said the Oracle.


In the night, Reinette was surprised to find she was being woken up by someone with tiny hands.

"Zara, my love, what is it?"

"Mummy est malade," she said.

Reinette got up and got her dressing gown. She walked quickly with Zara to the neighboring chamber.

Georgiana sat next to Donna, holding her arm.

"Move aside, my love," said Reinette. She felt Donna shaking. She was burning up. "Donna, Donna, wake up."

Donna groaned, not opening her eyes. "What?"

"You're ill. I shall fetch a doctor."

Donna snorted. "You do that. I'll have a few things to say to him."