The month's drift by quickly and whilst Steve and I are closer than ever, which is doing nothing to help my ever-growing feelings for him but at least I have my training to keep me occupied, I can't help feeling like there is something not quite right. At least it seems to have settled down a little after the whole battle of New York thing.

Getting up I spend my day as I always do, training and then going home to cook for Steve and I, I know that today he has a meeting that may well overrun so I take my time picking up the groceries I need and heading back, saying hello to our neighbour as I approach the door to our apartment. I make that quick as I don't like her much.

"Addi, hey wait up," Steve's voice halts me and I turn and smile, my smile quickly becoming a frown as his attention is caught by our neighbour. I scowl as they chat a little and am unable to stop the jealousy from swelling in my heart and stinging my eyes and so I turn away and fiddle with my key as I try to blink away the tears of hurt and open the door until his hand suddenly stills my own and I look up at him in surprise. Registering the shock and slight concern is his face as he takes in my watery eyes I am about to say something when he shakes his head and motions with it towards the door and so I turn to it and that's when I hear the record playing.

"I didn't leave it on," I whisper to him and he nods opening the door and stepping in, pushing me behind him as he does so.

"Direc…" I don't hear the rest of what is said as I take in Fury's state and feel something begin to happen to me. I can't speak, I can't move and I can't hear but it is like I can feel that something is going to happen. I feel as though I am being sucked through a portal, everything shimmery and glowing and I can see him, the man with the metal arm and I want desperately to scream and to run but I just stand there as he approaches me. I watch as he steps closer to me, stopping only when he is inches away from me and my breath hitches as I look into his eyes. Ice blue, cold and hard and deadly and yet… there is something hidden, a pain, a heartache and it breaks my own heart to see it. Gasping for breath I suddenly find myself on the floor with Steve in front of me.

"He's here," I manage to whisper before gunfire begins to rattle through the apartment. The next thing I know I am standing in the hospital with Steve and Nat watching Fury die and clinging to Steve like a lost child.

"Captain we need you," Rumlow says suddenly, his voice loud enough to make me jump and Steve's arms to tense around me.

"Okay," he sighs eventually his eyes never leaving mine, his fingers tracing patterns across my back.

"Now, Captain," he adds and this time I can see the tension in Steve's jaw as he closes his eyes for a second.

"Okay," he says his hands gripping mine and as they do so slipping a usb stick into one of them, I glance up at him and see him staring at me intensely, it's like I can see into his mind and hear him telling me, 'keep it safe, hide here," I nod and then he is gone and I find myself in a cupboard.

How the bloody hell had my life got to this, hiding in a fucking cupboard for Captain bloody perfect to come and tell me what the hell is going on. As I sit the panic begins to set in, what if he never came back, what if the guy with the metal arm got to him, what if he found me, and mostly why the bloody hell did I not feel more terrified about that fact. Oh hell I did not want to get into that I was already in… well I already really liked someone who saw me as no more than a friend and now I was getting strange feelings over some complete stranger, with a metal arm and who was set on killing us, all because he had something hidden in his eyes. I groan a little as I try to rid my brain of the thoughts and nightmares that plagued me, shooting to my feet and taking up a defensive stance as the door handle begins to rattle, echoing the sound of my breath rattling in my lungs.

"Addi," the voice is so soft I almost don't hear it but I do and I grapple for the handle swinging the door open and flinging myself into the body on the other side.

"Oh thank God!" I cry burying my head in his chest for a second trying to regain control of my senses, "what happened?" I ask in a whisper eventually pulling away and trying not to notice that whilst Nat stood beside him she was not wearing her trademark smirk and her stance was stiff.

"Not here, do you have it," he murmurs back to me and I nod as he takes my hand in his gripping it tightly as we move quickly out of the building and into a car.

"Here," I say as I realise the car is stolen and they had no key, I bend down and hot wire it quickly before sitting back and gazing out of the window for a while,

"Where did you learn to hot wire a car?" Steve asks after a moment and I smile at him a little, albeit weakly.

"I have a past Steve you know that," he smiles too and I really hope it is because he is remembering the night we spent holding each other as we spoke of our pasts, "so either of you planning on telling me what's happening?" I ask eventually watching the tension once again stiffen their postures.

"Shield is compromised Addi, that stick you have is our best way of finding out what's going on," Steve says eventually and I gulp a little as I try to take this is.

"Okay," I say after a second trying very hard to keep my voice steady, "what's the plan then?"

"We get to a mall, we can use a computer store device to look up what's on the USB without being traced to quickly," Nat says and I nod, sitting back in silence for the rest of the journey.

"How long have we got?" Steve asks as we stand around a computer in an Apple store half an hour later, his hat pulled down low over his eyes to avoid detection.

"They'll be here in seven minutes," Nat replies before glancing up at me and smiling tightly, "keep watch and whatever happens it's just to avoid detection," she says quietly and I quirk an eyebrow in confusion at her before taking a couple of steps to the right so I have a better visual of the outside of the store. A few seconds later I realise what she meant as she begins telling an employee that Steve is her fiancé, it's funny really because I know that Nat is not interested in Steve and I know that it is all a cover but the burning jealousy and hurt in me won't dampen.

"They're here," I mutter stepping back to them just as she pulls the USB out and hands it to me discreetly.

"Let's go," she whispers and we are moving, I walk behind them, trying not to cringe as I watch him throw his arm around her and laugh, turning my head just in time to avoid being stared at by one of the agents hunting us. Stepping onto the escalator I am just behind them, so close I can feel the heat emanating from his body and I am forced to repress a shudder turning away and spotting Rumlow on the opposite escalator.

"Rumlow," I whisper and Nat glances at me quickly before turning back to Steve.

"Kiss me," she tells him and my blood runs cold as I stare at them, my eyes connecting with Steve's for a fraction of a second before his head is pulled into hers and they are kissing and I feel sick.

"You and Addi, need to find out what those coordinates mean," Nat is saying when we are standing once again by the car.

"And you?" he replies while I determinedly look in the other direction making out that I am looking for danger.

"I am going to find Clint and the others see if any of them are around to help," she smiles suddenly pulling me to her and I want to hug her back but I just stand stiffly.

"I told you it was just a cover Addi," she whispers and I nod stiffly, afraid that my resolve would crack and I would begin crying if I tried to speak and thank God she seemed to get it as she nods to me and then is gone as Steve pushes me into the car and we are driving in silence.

"You alright Addi?" he asks after a while and I nod not saying anything, "I'm sorry to drag you into this, I… I wish I could have kept you safe and hidden somewhere," he sighs heavily after a while and I feel a whole new kind of sickness wash over me. Glancing over at him I am filled with guilt as I watch the pain on his face. I needed to push away my anger and hurt, it was stupid, a crush, that he didn't even know about and we were facing much bigger issues than me ruining our friendship right now.

"I wouldn't have gone if you had found somewhere," I smile at him and he glances over at me chuckling a little.

"No I guess you wouldn't, never were good at being hidden away and rescued," he replies and I laugh.

"Exactly and yet you do still insist on rescuing me quite a lot,"

"I'm Captain America sweetheart, it's what I do, rescue damsels in distress," he smirks playfully and I lean over to slap him gently on the arm.

"I'm no damsel in distress bitch, I'm a bloody spy with super powers," I laugh and he laughs too as we settle into a more comfortable silence than before.

"Addi, sweetheart, time to wake up," his voice washes over me and warms me as if a blanket had just been pulled over me and I moan a little in my sleep before conscious thought returns to me and my eyes pop open to see a rather flustered looking Steve's face inches from my own.

"Sorry," I mutter, feeling my own face heat up.

"No problem… we're here," he replies as he helps pull me out of the car and lets his hands hold my arms for a moment as he steadies me.

"So… this is it," I comment as we walk towards the fence stopping when I hear his intake of breath.

"I know this place," he whispers, almost to himself and I look at him before looking back at the wire fencing and realisation finally dawns on me.

"This is where it happened, where he chose you?" I ask although I already know the answer barely even needing to look at him to know that he is nodding. "Changed much?" I add to try and ease his mind and he chuckles a little a sound which never ceases to lift my heart a little no matter the situation.

"A bit yeah," he replies.

"Hey Steve," I say as we begin looking around.

"Yeah?" he calls back, eyes still fixed on his past,

"Didn't you tell me that there was a rule about having weapons near a base or something?" I ask and he finally shakes himself out of his thoughts and turns towards me.

"Yes," he replies as he walks to my side.

"What's that then?" I ask pointing towards the building to our right and he follows my arm and tense a tiny amount at his intake of breath.

"Did I ever tell you, you are a genius Addi," he whispers as he takes my hand and, squeezing it, pulls me towards the building.

"Not lately," I reply with a smirk as we step through the door and look around. Steve pauses in front of an old photograph and I move to stand beside him. "That's her isn't it?" I ask quietly as I see the beautiful brunette standing beside Steve in the picture and he nods.

"Yeah, that's her," he whispers back to me,

"She's beautiful," I comment and he smiles,

"Yeah, she was," he says and I sigh a tiny bit, realising, perhaps for the first time, that I really don't have a chance in hell, not that I thought I did anyway, but seeing how beautiful she is, how different she is from me.

"Figures," I murmur as I walk away from him to avoid thinking about the fact that whatever this was that I was feeling, it was going to… it had to end, and it had to end now or I would ruin everything between us and at least this way I have him in my life.

"What…?" he begins, damn super soldier hearing.

"Nothing, hey Stevie…"

"What did you just call me?" he asks, suddenly in front of me his hands gripping my arms so tightly it hurts a little and I am reminded of that night in my bedroom all those months ago, whimpering as I try to take a step away from him.

"Nothing, I… I don't know, it just popped into my head and it felt right," I answer a slight waver in my voice as I do so and he lets go quickly as I back up into the wall behind me.

"Oh God, Addi, sweetheart I'm sorry, I didn't it's just…" he trails off and I feel guilty again, and if I'm honest it is actually quite annoying that he manages to look so innocent and hurt and make me feel guilty even when he is technically in the wrong.

"Doesn't matter," I reply shortly, "we should get a move on, look," I add pulling a lever and opening that door to a secret lab, within the secret lab.

"Addi," he tries again but I just shake my head at him.

"Later," I say, impressed with how firm my voice is as I walk towards the ancient looking computers, more than a little surprised to find a place to actually plug in the USB, which instantly powers up the entire room.

I listen in shocked awe to the voice of the man Steve had told me about, the evil so clear in every word that it makes me shudder. I watch as Steve's entire world seems to shatter as he finds out that Hydra wasn't destroyed, Bucky died for nothing and it breaks my heart and then I freeze as the maniac's attention turns to me.

"They're coming for you Addison Willcox, they've been hunting you for a long time," he says and I feel Steve move towards me at the same time as the device in my hand bleeps.

"Steve, two bombs, heading straight for us," I say and then everything is a blur. He rips things up from the floor before throwing me in jumping down on top of me and shielding me with his own body as I hear the impact, feel the impact and then feel the pain… and darkness.