At some point that evening, Leah had brought her teammate back to the BLU base, refusing to say a word about anything that had happened and yelling at anyone who came near the door to her room. Needless to say, most of the BLU mercs were intrigued (aside from the Spy, who just didn't care, and the Soldier who declared that Leah's yelling at 9 o'clock was an 'American right'.). Leah had remained in the room with Fiammetta for two hours, at which point most of the mercenaries were tired of wondering what all had happened out there. The girls had been dragged out of the room with Evgeniy's help and an impromptu meeting was about to take place.

The three rookies sat together, with Logan perched on the side of the overstuffed blue couch, Leah halfway on the floor and Joe the young spy seated fairly normally. The others sat around the room, minus Leah's mentor the BLU Soldier.

"So, what Fiammetta was saying is that she got attacked in the sewers by a strange creature and she had to go see Katja for help because she wanted a female doctor to look at her wounds. Can we go now?"

"Creature? Aye, nuthin' could live in there. Ye probably just saw a shadow." Aiden the Demoman offered, his feet propped up on the wall.

"You never know what you'll find beyond the Black Stump. Out in the bush?" The older BLU Sniper examined his face in a cracked, spotty mirror and sliced through the fuzz on his chin with his kukri.

"Little Pyro found an octopus?" Evgeniy asked, putting his baseball mitt of a hand on Fiammetta's head.

"With a person's head!" The young Italian-American protested, wriggling under the massive hand. As soon as she did say something, the entire room erupted into a cacophony of voices.

"Zat is impossible." The older Spy breathed out a puff of smoke, his back turned on the rest of the group.

"What kind of hoodoo have ya done, doc?" William the Engineer turned towards Heilwig, lifting his goggles slightly.

"Vhy do you assume it is my fault?!" Heilwig demanded, looking like he hadn't slept in three days.

"WHO DRANK THE LAST BEER?!" The BLU Soldier looked almost exactly the same as his RED counterpart, most likely because they attended the same imaginary psychotic boot camp. He apparently had been ignoring the entire conversation and was only concerned about the lack of food and drink in the fridge.

"OI! Use yer inside voice, ye glaikit bastird!"

Fiammetta started yelling in Italian. Most of it was gibberish she made up to make herself heard over the roar rather than actual words.

"Hey, how long has our Pyro been a girl? Is that a recent thing, or has she always been a girl?"

"Dagnabbit, son, pay attention!"

"Hey, nuts to you, overalls!" The BLU Scout wasn't seated close enough to William to slap him, so he tried to lean over the Sniper to do so.

"Watch out, you spastic little gremlin!" The Sniper shoved the Scout back. He was starting to regret sitting in the middle.

"Come on, man, back me up! I gave you cookies!"

"You ever watch Dr. Spock on Star Trek? Because if you don't shut your cakehole, you bloody idiot, I'll be happy to demonstrate his Vulcan sleeper hold."

"Wait, Snipes, you watch that geek show?"

Heilwig stood up abruptly and rushed out of the room as fast as he possibly could. Evgeniy shook his head slightly and followed the young doctor. He knew exactly where to find the young man whenever he got too stressed. The uproar stopped for only half a second before the BLU Scout tackled the Engineer and the two ended up fighting on the floor.

The hallway and operating theater were largely undecorated, walls the same color white as everything else. In stark contrast to the insanity that everyone else lived in, everything in Heilwig's operating theater was the same condition it had been in when he first arrived. All the drawers and tables were polished to a perfect shine, the floor had absolutely no scuffmarks, and the bottles and books had all been stacked according to size.

"Doktor…" Evgeniy started, watching the young man frantically check the arrangement of his small collection of books. His partner ignored him (that was fairly common, Heilwig tended to block out the world during an episode like this) as he organized his books by author. Evgeniy opened his mouth to say something, but immediately decided against it. The others had attempted to interrupt one of Heilwig's little 'rituals' before, and it had just made things so much worse. The best thing to do was to let him do it and just be there for him when he felt that he wanted to talk about it.

It didn't take very long. As soon as he was done, his shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. Without a word, he turned on his heel and strode over to his bed so he could literally collapse onto it. Evgeniy reached out a hand to touch his friend on the shoulder. There wasn't much he could do; he didn't know how to help his young friend.

They sat there for a little while, Heilwig groaning quietly in the background. "I did it again."

"Is okay, Doktor."

"I am better zan zis."

"Doktor, your pills…"

"I hate zem. I cannot sleep at all…and ze other ones just make me hate me."

He plopped his head back down on the bed and groaned again.

"Um…Grüß Gott."

Heilwig turned around to see the RED Medic girl standing there, something obviously on her mind. He got up immediately and fixed his hair. No one should have to see him like that. Evgeniy looked back and forth from the two of them and decided he wouldn't ask.

"Grüß Gott, yourself. Ah…Wie heissen Sie?"

"Ich heisse Katja. Kah, ah, te, yot, ah."*

Right, it was Katja. He'd only heard her name in the words of others.

"Heilwig, I need your help."

"What?" He asked, pretending to look busy while washing his hands for the seventh time.

"I'm going into ze sewer."

The hair on the back of Heilwig's neck stood on end. Why would she want to…?

"I need to see vat hurt your Pyro, but I vould rather have someone else vith me. I vould take Leah, but she seems busy."

"If it's dangerous, why not go with Leah?"

"Vell…see, I vant to see vat it is, and Leah vould probably just destroy it…and I need someone who isn't as hysterical. I need someone calmer."

He was calmer than Leah? He would have laughed out loud at that, if she knew how many issues he had…

Heilwig looked up to actually speak with her. The only thing that had really changed about her was that her hair was down instead of in the usual ponytail, but she seemed radically different somehow. She was dressed in a casual vest and tie, just like he'd seen her yesterday, but she seemed almost delicate now. Her shoulders were hunched slightly and her head was down slightly, as if it embarrassed her to need help with anything. It was hard to think of her as delicate at all. Her broad shoulders gave way to fairly well-toned arm muscles that were now crossed under her ample…

Heilwig turned away and blushed fiercely. Why was he staring at her?! His thoughts were becoming incredibly intrusive.

"So…vill you?"

She hadn't seen his terrible social blunder. Good…

"Ja, if you really vant me zere."

She smiled warmly and hugged him. He blushed again. They barely knew eachother, why was she doing this? Clearly something like this was meant for close friends or couples; this was much too personal…

He breathed out when she let go. He was already much too anxious, doing this would just make it worse and he didn't know why he said yes at all. Maybe it was just that desperate, vulnerable look on her face. She'd been so adventurous the other day, the thought that this situation was enough to make her so quiet…well; it had to mean a lot to her.

She took him outside where her team's Pyro(from what he could tell, it was the older one) was waiting. It seemed to be staring at him. It was probably suspicious. Either way, it led them both toward the RED Team base, humming a jaunty little tune.

The RED Soldier stomped out of the building and glared at Heilwig.

"Now, listen, you little cupcake. Don't touch anything down there. I don't want your BLU filth all over the clean, American waste, is that understood?"

"Clean waste is an oxymoron, though, correct? Is it really possible to…?"

The American continued speaking; ignoring anything Heilwig had to say.

"AND, for your information, that goes for my trusty sidekick Bucky, here." He put his hand on Katja's shoulder and bore a proud, but clearly insane, grin. Katja frowned slightly, trying to figure out when she'd become his sidekick and why he felt the need to call her 'bucky'.

Before Katja could ask, the Soldier started speaking again. "A hero must pass on his lineage and power to a younger generation! Sun Tzu said that. Didn't he, Bucky?"

Katja smiled nervously and nodded emphatically. There wouldn't be any arguing with him. Heilwig grimaced for a few seconds.

"And…you don't vant me hurting her?"

"I don't want your BLU to rub off on my sidekick. A proud American spirit, she is, even if she did get born in Germany. There's nothing wrong with Germans, unless they're Nazis, at which point everything is wrong with them, but America is the greatest country on Earth." With whatever he was talking about said, the Soldier left, still talking to himself about who-knows-what.

"Vy do you put up vith zat?" Heilwig asked, shaking his head.

"Ze team tells me it is a lost cause. Apparently he does not listen to reason. I just try to humor him because it is much easier."

Heilwig wondered how she survived with the group of REDs. Everyone in BLU knew that REDs were crazy, violent hayseeds. Granted, Heilwig's experience with girls, and country girls at that, was extremely limited.

The Pyro led them both behind the base toward a dilapidated little building that looked like it could have been a shed at some point. The paint was peeling, the metal roof had massive rust patches and the door had several massive gashes in it. The inside looked only a little better than the outside. It was furnished with an old table and two chairs in one corner, a set of rusty tools hanging off the wall and a chest of drawers that smelled like mold. This was apparently the Pyro's little 'clubhouse', judging from the flamethrower lovingly propped up on the table, the balloon unicorn hanging off a chair and the small collection of crayon drawings that had been pinned to the walls in an effort to cover up the peeling yellow wallpaper. It motioned towards the far left corner, where a manhole sat, attached to an old copper valve that had turned a bright green from oxidation.

"Vat is zis?"

The Pyro said something that Heilwig honestly couldn't understand. This particular Pyro spoke a different way than his own. He could understand Fiammetta's mumbling because he'd been around her enough, but this was different.

This was the same 'person' who locked him in a building and set it on fire. He shivered a little. Katja poked her head down the manhole as Heilwig was trying to shake off his anxiety. She surfaced after a few minutes.

"I think he says it is for maintenance on ze sewer."

The creature looked up, squinting at the light. It only saw the vague outline of someone standing at the entrance to the sewers. Some long-dormant civil part of its normally reptilian brain decided this was a female, a lovely young lady standing at the sewer entrance. She was with a young man, although he was incredibly slight of figure. A growl came to the creature's throat. Through some strange instinct, the creature could tell that they were standing with a Pyro.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Are you hurt?" Katja called out, hearing the growl. She had no idea what this creature roaming around the water could be, but if it was animal in any way, being injured would make it defensive. "I am a doctor. I can help you, ja?"

What happened next was peculiar. Instead of a growl, a noise echoed through the tunnel that sounded almost like speech. It was garbled, uneasy, as if someone were trying to speak through a throat with torn-up vocal cords and a mouthful of marbles.

"Dkkkktrrr…"

The hair on the back of Katja's neck stood on end and she bit down on her lip. The older RED Pyro began attempting to convey something to her with a combination of excited mumbles and frantic arm movements. Heilwig breathed in deeply and mentally tried to concentrate on something other than his desperate need to do something like wash his hands exactly seven times just to make sure everything would be okay.

"Get my brother and Ginger…tell them to bring medical supplies and weapons, just in case." Even with fear nibbling on the edge of her mind, she had to be rational. Taking too many people inside would scare it. Animals became violent when they were cornered…

Of course, that would be a bad idea if this were a person, but the others would be just outside and she could always heal herself.

The Pyro stared. In the altered mental state provided by the mask, Katja was a small, frail creature that needed to be defended. That was how this particular Pyro saw the world. The other members of RED were fragile little sprites, so easily subject to danger, even in the happy utopia of the Pyro's mind. The members of BLU were naughty and didn't play nicely with the RED fairies.

"Pyro, please listen. I promise I vill be okay." The fairy lady known as Katja smiled as she motioned to the scary cave in the garden of lollipops. Reluctantly, the Pyro agreed. She could fix the little scratches they got from playing too hard. If she skinned her knee she could handle it.

When she was alone, Katja bent down to examine the water. It was fairly clean, there didn't appear to be any leeches or other unsightly critters in it. Thank goodness for that. Katja knew full well she couldn't delay this any longer, so she lowered herself into the water. A tiny shiver passed through her body when the water hit her waist and seeped past her coat into her shirt. It was certainly chilly. Katja hoped she wouldn't have to stay long. Water at just 10 °C could kill in about an hour, if she remembered that college lecture correctly.

"Hello?" Katja spoke tentatively, not sure if she could reason with the mysterious sewer being. The lack of a reply made shivers run down her spine. It could be anywhere…

Heilwig followed behind slowly, dreading the idea of trudging through the sewer water. It was disgusting, cold, wet…

"How do you feel?"

"Out of control." Heilwig answered quietly.

A sudden movement in front of them caught both doctors off guard. It was hard to see just what it was, but it was rapidly changing color from purple to red in a frenzied manner. Before Heilwig could react, something grabbed him around the waist, digging sharp needles into his skin. It continued its assault, wrapping a limb around his neck and trying to strangle him to death. Katja was dumbfounded briefly as the arms dragged the BLU forward. When she finally managed to process what was happening, she charged forward and leapt on the being's back, producing a hidden syringe from her pocket and grabbing the creature's appendage. She pressed down, releasing the contents of the syringe. The appendages relaxed slightly, dropping Heilwig into the water below. It jerked around with Katja clinging to its back like an expert bull rider, but it eventually managed to shake her, sending her crashing into Heilwig.

She was heavy…he honestly should have expected that. Katja wasn't exactly a waif, but he hadn't been expecting it. Katja rolled off of him and landed in the water again.

"Heh..hehe." Heilwig started chuckling to himself, before he launched into full-fledged hysterical laughter. He had no idea why he was even doing it, but he couldn't stop himself. It was late at night, he was knee-deep in water with a woman he hardly knew and there was a snarling monster in the sewers. Katja either didn't notice or was just ignoring him while she shook her head like a wet dog.

"Vhat vas zat?" He asked, as soon as he had composed himself.

"Etorphine. It is made from some relative of the poppy…it is fairly new. Ve should investigate quickly; the dosage was just an estimate." Katja gave him a little grin. If the situation hadn't been so absurd, he might have found that extremely annoying, but in the topsy-turvy world where monsters lived in the sewer, it was funny.

Heilwig turned on the flashlight and finally got a decent look at the creature. It resembled a man from the waist up, wearing the remains of a white dress shirt that had been soaked through with blood and ink. From the waist down, it had a mass of tentacles, still twitching and writhing even as the creature they belonged to wavered in and out of consciousness. Each tentacle was a sickly pale-pink color and lined with little glowing dots. That must have been where the light had come from. Among these tentacles was a pair of much longer ones, with a spade shape at the end.

Katja was busy inspecting the face, opening the eyes and mouth to check on the creature. The mouth was filled with thin, curved teeth and the eyes were relatively normal. It did seem to have the remnants of a mask on its face, though it was hard to tell in the murky water.

"Katja…what is it?"

The man-squid's eyes opened slightly and regarded Katja with confusion, and then it seemed to relax when it saw Heilwig. Heilwig turned on the flashlight and aimed it up, away from the being's face so he wouldn't disturb it. Despite the fact that it was covered in blood, ink and water, Heilwig could faintly see the remains of a blue pin-striped jacket draped around the being's arms and shoulders.

"Katja, it's…"

Both doctors experienced a shiver down their spines at the exact same moment. The balaclava and suit suggested that it had once been a Spy…or perhaps it had just eaten one and stolen the clothing. Neither explanation was particularly comforting.

"Ve have to get him out of here and call someone. Zis is dangerous…here, he likes you better, hold zis end."

Katja slipped the being's arms over Heilwigs shoulders and attempted to secure the many tentacles that were still wiggling slightly despite the sedative. On the inside, Heilwig was about ready to vomit, whine, and scream, all in that order. It was wet, cold, disgusting…

By the time the two emerged, being in tow, a small crowd had gathered around. Tavish DeGroot stepped towards the door with a large sword in his hands and, surprisingly, no alcohol smell at all.

"Git yer hands off…" Tavish started, before he got a good look at Heilwig and snickered. "Ye had me worried, lad, I thought ye said she was in danger! Look at him! She's nae exactly a wee lass, 'specially not against Skinny Malinky Longlegs, here!"

"Not from him. Heilwig is fine…for a BLU, at least." Katja laughed in spite of everything.

"What's adae wi' you two, scurrying aboot in the sewers? Got a lumber?"

Heilwig opened his mouth to say something and put up a finger to try and emphasize his point, but he honestly couldn't think of anything to say to that.

"Ye know, muckin' aboot…? Are ye werrin that high collar tae hide your nookie badges?"

Heilwig put up his hands. "Vait, vait! I do not understand. Say ze first zing again…?"

"Have you two been, uh…y'know?" Nathan made awkward gestures until both Medics had turned the same shade of red as Katja's tie.

Heilwig covered his face with his hands. "Of course not! Ve vere down zere risking our lives and you…" For a few seconds he looked like he was considering strangling the motormouthed RED, but he relaxed.

"Someone…someone take care of zis. I have…I have something to do." He unloaded the still-twitching man-squid into Katja's hands and ran to the base, one hand on his stomach and the other clamped over his mouth.

Katja shook her head. Everyone gathered immediately went silent when they saw the creature. It had been well-obscured by the two doctors, but now they could see the waving gelatinous tentacles and lazy, listless expression on the being's face.

"So…help me vith zis?" Katja raised an eyebrow.

Some of you may recognize Etorphine as 'M99'. It's used on Dexter, apparently. It's actually very strictly controlled and only available to veterinarians, and veterinary-strength M99 is fatal to humans.

'Kah ah tey yot ah' is a phonetic pronunciation of German letters. She's spelling her name, but that's roughly the way it would sound.

And the tentaspy in question is much more squiddy than spy. The color changing is common among squids.