Dear diary,

This is the longest train journey is the history of mind numbingly boring train journeys. The walkman's ran out of batteries, again. I've been scribbling stuff here for the last two and a half hours. Finished my book and written out my setlists for the next while. Feels like that old woman from the titanic, it's been eighty four years stuck in this seat.

Not sure what I'm actually going to do when I get off, but that's not the point.

Are we there yet?

If it had been weird for Chloe to be in Bristol if felt even weirder to be back in Stamford. Chloe picked her up from the train station in the morning and drove them through the familiar shops and side streets as they sped past her passenger side window view. The houses and the park gave her a strange sense of alienation and ease all at once. It was like stepping into toy town in comparison to the world she knew out at large. Had it always been that small?


The car pulled into the gravel driveway of Chloe's house and the two of them gathered up their things from the boot of the car and Chloe opened the door out for her to step through. It was odd walking into an empty house. Not having to ignore the thinly veiled disapproving looks when she walked through the door. Just the sound of Chloe dumping her keys in the bowl by the door and wandering into her kitchen to make them some drinks, leaving her to her own devices in the living room.

'I promise it'll just be me and Izzy you can speak to,' Chloe emerged from the kitchen with a take-away menu, some glasses and a bottle of coke and put them down between them on the couch. 'Chop as well, obviously.'

She doesn't have to say what she means, who she means, but the answer is there on her face. It had been two years, it wasn't the same, wasn't like that anymore.

'It's fine.' Rae took her glass off the white leather couch and opened the bottle to pour them both a drink.

'You won't even know anybody else is there, I can keep you occupied when we're there then we can come back here and watch come crap flims before you've got to go back.' She switched the TV over and curled her legs up onto the couch. 'Make a night of it, just you and me.'

'It's fine Chloe, really. I don't mind. I don't even think about it anymore.'

'I will though Rae, I promise. It'll just be us for the weekend.'

As the night drew in they unpacked their things and Chloe helped Rae make the bed up in the spare room. She put out her clothes ready for the next day, not knowing how to feel about the next afternoon's meeting.

They waited in the car park as requested. The car ride to the textile college wasn't long at all, even thought they had been running late they still managed to be the first two there. They waited for what must have been twenty five minutes after the time they were all supposed to meet up when Chloe turned around at the sound of footsteps on the frosty pavement further down.

'We were starting to think you weren't coming,' Chloe spoke to somebody Rae couldn't see till she turned around to see Archie make his way to the edge of the car park where they stood. The glasses were still exactly the same, but the deep blue Harrington jacket was new and the height difference between them. He stood about two inches taller now. He shoved his hands in his pockets and twisted to look behind them.

'Had to collect a souvenir.' Rae wasn't sure what he was talking about until she saw him turn the corner a moment later with an overnight bag in his hand and her breath caught in her throat. Finn walked into view and the feelings she thought had died a long time ago bubbled to the surface. Two years had been good to him, really good. His hair was shorter now, he was a little bit broader in the arms and the features of his face had sharpened slightly. The eyebrows and fringe were the same and she could see his eyes brighten at the sight of the three of them as he caught up with his friend.

He nodded a greeting at Chloe who returned it with a small wave his way. He stepped towards her and gave her a tentative hug that she returned quickly and turned to Rae, taking a step forward with one foot and then stopping.

'How's Bristol?' He greeted her with the question instead and she was momentarily put out that he hadn't greeted her like Chloe when she answered.

'Yeah, it's been good. Really good,' her voice was steady much to her relief. 'What about you, you doing alright?' He looked over at her with those same warm eyes and her pulse quickened in a traitorous pace.

'I'm doing alright, yeah.' He breathed it out and crossed a hand over to his elbow and he was suddenly the same seventeen year old looking at her like that day at the park three years ago. She couldn't help but smile at him and the look between them wasn't missed by Chloe.

'Rae,' Chloe glanced at the pair of them with an odd look and took her by the arm and led her through to the hall. Rae didn't dare look back as she pulled her along with the other three following close behind.

Chop was already seated in one of the reserved rows in the front. Rae watched him bat the programme against his knee, he must have felt really out of place amongst all the pompoms and glitter from the students around him. The three of them filed into the remaining half empty row as the hall started to fill up fast. Chloe stopped for a moment and looked down to the other end and spread her hands out to signal five minutes to somebody backstage. She turned to the side and edged her way back along the row when Rae called out to her.

'Where are you going?'

'Iz just waved me over. I'll be right back,' When Rae opened her mouth to argue she was already out in the aisle. 'I'll be back in ten minutes right.'

'Chlo,' it was too late, she couldn't follow after her when the rest of the row started to fill up and she found herself between Archie on her left and Finn on the right. She was already gone down past the lighting rig and the flurry of people around the stage. That left the three of them, not awkward at all.

'Doubt we'll be getting out of this without a trip to the Swan, fancy it?' Archie leaned in close to her and nudged her shoulder. 'Could do with a break from the constant Durham questions at home. "Have you joined any clubs? Make sure you don't get distracted down there, get yourself a first" it's doing my head in.' He pushed his glasses up at the corner and gave her a small hopeful smile.

'I suppose I can grab a pint,' she tutted in a mock huff and she saw Archie smile at her. They chatted for a bit about reading lists and exams. Finn passed the both of them copies of the programme down. Rae scanned it for Izzy's name so she would know when to give her her full attention. She looked over towards the stage as Finn tucked his bag as far under the chair as he could.

'What's the overnight bag from?' That was a stupid question she probably didn't want to know the answer to.

'Munich,'

'What were you doin' in Munich?'

She didn't get her answer as the music started up mid reply. He tried to lean over Archie towards her and started to speak but she couldn't hear a word. He stopped his silent speech and gave her an apologetic look and turned his eyes back to the stage. Just as she imagined it the night before the lights flared up in bright fluorescent colours. Streamers and spotlights fell on the DIY runway and Rae watched as the parade of clothes passed by from bright purple feather covered hats to dresses that looked like glow in the dark painted bubble wrap when it looked like Izzy's designs were about to take the stage. She could see her fret her bottom lip In the distance to the left of the stage as a pink sequinned dress that could only be Izzy's made its way on the model down the stage, followed by three others; all bright and colourful as the next. Chop stood up slightly and gave her a shout of encouragement and the three of them gave her a loud cheer from their seat and she grinned over in their direction and ducked back behind the stage. Once it wrapped up they found themselves back in the car park and making their way to their cars back to Stamford.

They got to the pub and someone had just cleared out of their old table when Danny came out to greet them.

'Rae, didn't think you'd be back here,'

'It's just a flyby,' she offered and stepped in close to give him a hug. Chloe gave him a wave and sat down first, putting her bag and jacket to the side of her on the bench. Rae followed suit and sat down beside her, taking her jacket off.

'Bet they don't have these in poncey student unions,' Danny pushed a tray of luminous green drinks to the middle of the table pushing all the others out of the way. 'Call these Toxic Waste,' he waggled his eyebrows and stepped away to clear up the next table till break rolled round.

'It was brilliant,' she heard Izzy say as she and Chop made their way inside, 'but I'm glad it's finished.' She waved at the table and bounced her way over to them. 'Thanks for helping out Chloe. I was panicking it was all going to go wrong with that sequin dress.'

'No problem babe, it looked really nice one we got the glue off.' She shifted over closer to Rae to let them sit down and turned to her with a low voice. 'Sorry Rae, didn't mean to leave you for as long. Izzy was having a proper meltdown. Somebody spilled a glue gun cartridge all over her stuff.' She linked her arm through hers. 'I'll keep you distracted from now. Promise.'

'It's alright. I was just talking to Arch for most of it.' She lied, only slightly.

'Look at you Mrs. Smarty Pants, you look lovely' Izzy leaned back in her seat to get a look at her and came round to her side of the bench to wrap her up in a warm hug. 'Thanks for coming.'

'Course Iz.' The three of them settled in and Izzy sent Chop over for drinks before he had the chance to greet them. He and Danny stood talking at the bar as he made their drinks up and she turned to see Chloe give her a closemouthed smile. You alright? She mouthed and Rae nodded.

'Raemundo' she heard Chop draw her name out into a chant before she saw him. He came into sight with his usual bluster, arm full of their drinks order and an amused smile playing on his lips that broke out into a large grin as he copied Izzy and pulled her into a tight bear hug and stepped back.

The door opened again and Archie stepped through with Finn trailing his bag behind him. He sat down on the space left on the opposite side of Rae and she could feel his gaze on hers and fought not to meet it. Archie came back from the bar with he and Finn's drinks and Chop greeted him the same as Rae, with an arm clapping him round the shoulders and squeezing, nearly knocking the glasses from his nose in his enthusiasm.

'Thought you'd chucked us for a load of books,'

'I know, I know. It's just been a bit non-stop over there.' It was only a little fib. She didn't want to say that there didn't feel like there had been anything left for her here anymore. Chop seemed to accept her answer fine and gave her an affectionate nudge with the side of his arm.

'You an'all,' he shot a wounded look towards Archie.

'I sent those CDs up last month,' Archie reasoned.

'Yeah, but that's no excuse for not turning up down here, thought the lot of you had given up on us.' He cast the three of them a wounded look but he dropped it within minutes and he was back to his usual happy-go-lucky demeanour.

'Even Finny boy's off.'

'You what? When?' Archie sat up in the booth and Chloe and Rae turned to look at Finn, well, Rae tried not to.

'The big knobhead's leaving me for some travelling thing tomorrow aren't you?'

'Don't know yet, give it a rest Chop will ya,' he said in a low voice and turned to throw a glare at Chop who just shook his head and wrapped an arm around Izzy as she sipped at her drink.

'Rae's got her own radio show,' Chloe cut in and the three of them turned to look at her from their drinks. 'She's got an internship at a real one later on.'

'That's brilliant Rae, do you get to play your own music?'

'Yeah, well, there's chart stuff we've got to play but I get to pick the rest and come up with the call-in stories. I love it.' She sipped at her Snakebite and tried not to meet Finn's gaze where she could feel it bore into the side of her face.

'Perfect job for you Raemundo, you're always banging on about all that stuff when you were here,' Chop spoke with his pint hovering at his mouth. Izzy kicked him under the table and sent him a glower to shut up.

'What?' His cluelessness just sent her into a giggle and she pushed his arm.

'So, none of that mainstream stuff. No crap FM.' She finally looked beside her. The coy look Finn gave her did things to her she thought she'd gotten over long ago. She took a drink of her snakebite to get herself back in check before she answered back.

'Something like that, yeah.' She managed a nod and nearly dribbled her snakebite out of her mouth at the sensation of familiar fingers drawing towards her thigh. Finn moved his finger into letters and she pretended to listen to the table and concentrated on the words forming.

Talk later?

She took a sip of her drink and gave him a subtle shake of her head at him. She hesitantly moved her hand over to his leg and drew out her reply, not looking at him in case any of the others saw.

No.

His brows furrowed and he stared into his drink till she wrote again.

Chloe.

You Ok?

She nodded again and she understood what he was actually asking.

Good. Happy.

Good.

You? Where you going tomorrow?

Doing sound for band. Small one. Tour

Where?

'Right,' Chloe put her drink down and looked over to Rae. 'We better head off so I can drop Rae off tomorrow.'

'It's only half-seven,' she laughed, wondering what she was on about.

'Rae, let's go.' She gestured her head subtly towards Finn's direction that he couldn't have missed and Rae nodded.

'I better go,'

She started to get up where Finn stood up to let her brush past him to get out.

'Suppose I won't see you around for a bit again then.'

'Probably not, no.'

'Right, well this is goodbye then,' he stayed where he stood and for a moment she was sure he was about to put his arms around her.

'Thought we were seeing them off before they go tomorrow?' Izzy looked to Chloe and Archie in question.

'Me and Rae will be there, Finn's got an early start.' Archie broached the subject and it gets quiet between the seven of them. Danny took the tray away from the table to distract himself and pottered around the bar while he listened in.

'If I have time I can try and go round for a few minutes,' Finn offered with a smile of gratitude from Izzy and Chop.

'We'll see,' is all Chloe said before she and Rae collected their stuff and gave each of them one last hug for the night.