Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Dragon Ball Z. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Akira Toriyama, respectively (Plus some other organisations and companies).
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read this story, but double thanks to all those who took the time and effort to review — especially when it was more than a couple of words (although I still appreciate those). This is the last chapter, technically. There's still the epilogue to go.
I received a question from one reviewer asking who Pui Pui is:
Pui Pui is the "duck-billed man" that killed Spopovitch and Yamu and that Harry spotted standing next to Babadi. In the original series Vegeta kills him on Pui Pui's own planet, where Babadi transports them to.
WARNING/SPOLIER ALERT: There is one Deathly Hallows spoiler in this chapter. For those who haven't read the seventh book, enter at your own risk.
Hope you enjoy.
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Chapter Seven: Wizards Are As Wizards Do.
It happened in the splittest second. One moment Dabura was in the deep valley, some few hundred metres away, the next he had appeared in front of Kabito, having flown faster than Harry could see. Harry was not one to mince spells. Six or so years of battling Voldemort had kept him on his toes, but even he could not have stopped what happened next. Harry's speed reaction was just not on the same level as Dabura's. He didn't even have time to blink before Kabito was obliterated by the same brilliant yellow glow that had exploded from out of the palms of little Trunks and Goten as they fought at the tournament.
Harry knew he could not do anything with Dabura, the demon king, and reasoned he would leave that up to the others. He would duel with the wizard. That was more up his alley. Harry just wasn't fast enough to follow the fighters in this dimension, and that's what he finally realised they were. Fighters, not wizards or magic users.
He thought back to Hermione in one of her many lectures at the Quidditch World Cup as, buckets of water in hand, the trio walked back to their tents: "Oh, look, the representatives of the Chinese wizard school. I've read about them. You know, Chinese wizards used to be able to manipulate Chi back in the day, but they've lost the art."
"What's Chi?" Harry had asked, and wondered if it had anything to do with Dudley's martial arts films. Dudley, at nine-years-old, had gone through a brief period of Kung Fu worship — mostly because he'd wanted to learn new and exciting ways of beating people up. Years later he'd actually done something about it and switched his worship to boxing.
Harry remembered walking out of his cupboard one day — he'd felt confident because Uncle Vernon had been at work and Aunt Petunia gossiping in the kitchen with Mrs Number Seven from across the street — and sneaking behind Dudley's armchair in the living room. Dudley had been watching his martial arts movie, and Harry himself had been riveted. Partly because he rarely got to watch television, but mostly because of what was happening on it. The characters on screen were all fighting hand to hand, jumping all over the place at impossibly high levels. Dudley had then stood up and attempted to re-enact a scene from the movie, shouting "I am the Chi Master!" in what he obviously thought had been a mysterious and impressive voice.
"It's a lost magic — sort of like Merlin and his supposed time-travelling," Hermione had explained in her know-it-all tone. "They used to be able to manipulate their own life energy to extraordinary levels and funnel it into their limbs."
"What, like they would be able to jump really high and stuff?" Harry guessed.
"You've watched some of the films!" Hermione gasped.
Ron scratched an eyebrow. "What's a film?"
Harry shook his head. Yes, the fighters in this dimension seemed to be using their Chi, but not on a level Harry would have thought possible in his own world. The Supreme Kai had given him an unwitting answer now that he thought back on it. His own dimension was much heavier than this one; therefore, it would be much harder to use Chi — in the same theory it would be much harder to use magic as well, which was why his own magic was hugely deformed and more powerful here. But this dimension . . . He thought back to Krillin, and how the small man had literally, with only one little punch, thrown his almost-bigger-than-Hagrid-sized opponent clear to the other side of the arena.
Unbelievable.
Kabito was gone now, obliterated in a flash of yellow light, and everyone seemed nervous or scared. Harry wasted not a moment. While the demon king was busy boasting, he Apparated.
He took care of the duck-man first while he and Babadi were still too shocked at Harry's sudden presence. Fighters in this dimension were more of a threat to Harry than wizards, and he'd had to rearrange his plan slightly. Kabito had had the right of it from the off. But he was dead now. Harry forced himself not to think about it and, with a flick of his wand, Pui Pui was transfigured.
Great speed stands for nothing if you can't use it, Harry thought smugly. He bent down and pocketed the shiny new red toothbrush, which had pictures of baby ducks on the handle. He would give it to The Supreme Kai later and let him decide what to do with it.
Then he faced the wizard, who backed away, eyes wide. "Pui Pui . . . ? What? How dare you?!"
Babadi had an exceptionally high and croaky voice, and he really was the most pathetic creature Harry had ever seen, even more so than a house elf. His body was Flitwick-sized with bits of thin scraggly hair sprouting from the top of his squashed beehive-like head and out of his ears. His arms would have looked more at home among a pile of twigs, and his eyes were large, bulbous, and sly, like a rat's which, considering his size, wasn't all that far from the truth. In short, he looked like some sort of deformed insect primate; as though a praying mantis had decided to mate with a monkey and produced this.
He also wore robes and, despite his croakish voice, spoke in an almost British accent. Ironic.
"Look what you've done, you idiot!"
Harry didn't appreciate that, he truly didn't. "Me? Aren't you the one killing people? I just transfigured him."
Those sly green eyes narrowed even more slyly. "Yes, I remember you now," said Babadi, shocking Harry. "You were the one who infiltrated poor Spopovitch's mind at the tournament. Ha-ha, oh how lovely. It's been too long since I've met another wizard. I guess Supreme Kai has finally run out of options. Where did he find you, by the way?" The small chest rumbled with un-open laughter.
"I sort of found him," Harry responded, growing angry. Wasn't he supposed to be the confident one here? Why did he suddenly feel out of his depth? No, he would not let this thing distract him. And why the bloody hell was Babadi talking? Shouldn't he be getting on with trying to kill Harry?
"Oh-ho-oh-ho-ha-ha-ha! You found Supreme Kai?! This is even better than I — Ahhhrrgh!" DING! "You stupid idiot!"
Harry, getting tired of all the unnecessary chatter, had thrown a stupefy curse, which Babadi had deflected with a shield sphere. It floated around him like an especially large and pink bubble-head charm.
"Can't you think up an original insult? Consider something fresher, maybe?" said Harry, fingers curling even tighter about the base of his wand.
"You . . ." Babadi breathed.
Before Babadi could think to use some other word to insult Harry there were a dozen whooshes and thumps. Everyone, including the demon king, had landed some few metres away and were eagerly watching Harry and Babadi.
Krillin punched the air. "Whoo-hoo, go Harry!" he shouted.
"Yeah, you can do it!" Gohan yelled around funnelled hands.
Harry, desperately trying not to, sensed his cheeks pinken. It felt like he was now in the arena and the others were the spectators. Never in his life had he experienced such a surreal feeling. His first urge was to flap a hand and tell them all to go away, and then considered that he may need their help in the future if he couldn't dispatch the wizard on his own.
Dispatch. He hated that word. He hated what it implied, but essentially, wouldn't that be what he'd be doing? Dispatching the wizard so that he wouldn't cause anymore problems in the universe . . .
Universe. Wouldn't Voldemort rejoice in this dimension. The thought sobered him. And also frightened him. If Voldemort really was the culprit of Harry's little dimension hop (as Harry suspected. After all, just how many Dark Lords were waiting around Privet Drive to dispose of him? Not many, he would assume), then why couldn't he simply have transferred himself? A wizard had a lot more power here, as Harry, to his misfortune, had found out. Why hadn't Voldemort thought to come here instead of wasting his time and trying to take over the muggle and wizarding worlds?
If Harry's theory was correct, than that meant Voldemort hadn't been the one to curse him here. But then, who had?
That beared thinking of. But later. Much later. He wanted to get this duel over with and go home. He was so desperate for British cooking that he'd have to visit Mrs Weasley as soon as he got back.
His situation was fast becoming an annoyance, and this last occurrence, duelling with a wizard from a foreign dimension . . . what a way to battle it out. At least he didn't have to fight — like the others, thank Merlin. Of course it also didn't help that he still felt somewhat inferior to them. Even though their powers were different from his.
Harry could never fly (though a rumour last year at Hogwarts had been circulating that Voldemort could. But then the Hogwarts' grapevine often boasted stupid gossip like "Harry Potter curses off his spots" and "Harry Potter is dating three Hufflepuff fourth years" and "Harry Potter is dating Ronald Weasley" — that last one Ron had fainted over and had to be awakened by an extremely powerful Enervate spell). Harry could never shoot glowing balls of light from out of his palms (though he could do wandless spells). Harry could never run so fast he'd be invisible to the naked eye (though he supposed he could Apparate, something which, as far as he knew, these people could not boast).
Feeling better, Harry turned his attention away from Goku and company and back to the wizard in front of him. "Okay, d'you want to start this duel or shall I?"
How does one go about duelling in this dimension? Clearly, Babadi did not own a wand so Harry couldn't exactly follow all the duelling etiquettes. He choked at the sudden image of Babadi using his finger. All right, so no wand. Not that he had expected to bow to Babadi anyway. For one, he didn't think the other wizard would agree to bow to Harry, for another, inclining his head to someone who wanted to awaken the greatest evil in the universe simply to cause destruction, mayhem, death, and just because he could, was not worth bowing to in Harry's opinion.
"Oh, please be my guest," said Babadi, smirking. Once again his chest rumbled with unspoken laughter.
All right, so he was planning something. Not really a surprise.
"Thank you," Harry said politely, and Apparated. He threw a Finite Incantatum at Babadi's back once he'd appeared behind the wizard. The pink sphere vanished like mist. Harry spotted the widening of Babadi's eyes as the wizard whirled around, before jetting off a stunner. Babadi leaped out of the way.
Then, still staring wide-eyed at Harry, he gurgled.
Harry didn't give him a chance to recuperate. He shot a Bat-Bogey Hex at the other wizard, who screeched and screamed and flapped spindly hands about his face, but it was no use. Clearly wizards in this dimension had no counterattacks. They had plenty of attacks, but they had no reversal spells to speak of.
"Get it off, please! Help me!" screeched Babadi, rolling around on the ground. "I'll leave you alone, I promise! Ahhh! What kind of curse is this?!"
"It's a hex," said Harry dully, watching as the twig-like legs kicked at the sky and the small body curled in on itself. "And no, I won't take it off —"
Babadi wailed, then coughed as a bogey entered his mouth.
"— unless you promise something."
"Yes, anything," he spat. "Anything, just take it off. They're going up my nose. I can't breath, you stupid-head!"
Harry snorted. Honestly. "You have to promise to go away and not come back here."
"Yeesss! Yes, yes! I promise!"
Babadi's response was automatic and anticipated, and Harry did not trust him one jot. "All right, then. Stupefy."
The tiny green wizard stopped moving.
"That's that, then," said Harry. Another wave of his wand and the Bat-Bogey Hex was cancelled.
Then Harry burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. He'd never been in a more pathetic duel in his life, unless he counted the one with Malfoy in second year. Everything Babadi had done just seemed so . . . childlike and stupid. Even the name-calling had been stupid. That, topped with everything else Harry had experienced today — all the bizarreness off this world and its people — was too much for him. He laughed so hard he had to sit down.
"Uh, are you ok? Harry, what ever you're doing, I think you'd better stop!"
Krillin and friends stood leaning over him, staring around, and were looking very concerned.
Harry wiped his eyes, unclenched his stomach, and frowned. "WHAT AM I DOING?"
He clapped his hands over his mouth. That had been extremely loud. Like a Sonorus Charm, only ampliphied by ten. Come to think of it, his laughter had been loud too, and full of echoes. What . . .
Then he felt it. The earth rumbled and shook, the sky turned dark with storm clouds, the grass turned pink, and the surrounding mountains kept changing into gigantic ducks and back again with horrendous squawks that almost bled his ears out.
Harry gasped (the sound echoed back and forth in the valley), then, thinking quickly, lay flat on his back and thought of nature, of peace, of nothing.
Rest.
After a while the rumbling beneath his back stopped, the thunder stopped, there were no more squawks, and the air did not smell like a melted chocolate frog. His eyes flew open, flitted, saw the crowd peering down at him. They moved aside as he stood on shaky legs.
"What in Merlin . . .?" All that, just because he'd laughed? He'd never had much to laugh about since his arrival in this world, and it surprised him to note that this really was the first time he'd ever done so. Frightened didn't even begin to describe how Harry felt at the moment. This was just too bizarre, even for magic. Giant ducks? Of all things . . . He needed to get out of this dimension, and fast, before he blew himself up. Or worse, blew someone else up.
"God, look at me." Goosebumps had broken over his body and cold whistled through his bones like wind through hollow wood. No, this was not good at all.
At least the landscape was back to normal — except for one lone, massive duck, who'd settled down to sleep between two mountains, its head under its wing. He would have to take care of that soon.
Then Harry looked around, puzzled. Something was missing. "Where's the Demon King?"
Nearly everyone looked down at their shoes.
Goku ruffled the back of his head, looking sheepish. "We were gonna take care of him, but he died."
Harry blinked, a churning feeling in his stomach. This was his fault, he just knew it. "Died? How?"
"Well, you turned him into a fish," said the Saiyan. "And he couldn't breathe. So . . ."
"He asphyxiated and Goku and Vegeta ate him," Piccolo supplied, looking disproving.
"Ate him?" said Harry, aghast.
"Yeah, he was real tasty, too." Goku patted his stomach, which seemed to be bulging slightly. "Better than the fish near my house. And so much bigger!"
Harry shivered. Logically, he knew Dabura hadn't been Dabura once Harry had transfigured him (that he had, in fact, been a real prehistoric fish) but the muggle-raised part of him recoiled at the idea, which was practically tantamount to cannibalism. He spotted the skeleton of the fish-Dabura (shockingly as large as a whale) behind Goku, and almost gagged.
But he did wonder just why the others hadn't changed along with Dabura. Had his magic sensed the difference between the evil of the demon king and the good of the others, and compensated by turning only Dabura into the fish?
If that was so, than why had his magic turned ordinary people into fish (admittedly, smaller fish) when he'd first arrived in this dimension?
He'd probably never find out the real answer.
"How wonderful," he managed to choke out. "Rare fish is a delicacy here, isn't it?"
The spiky-haired man laughed. "Yeah, but I cooked it with my Chi blast. I've never been that fond of raw meat."
Vegeta harrumphed.
Right.
And that was that.
On Shin's direction, Harry lifted the transfiguration off of the duck and then turned Babadi into a tube of toothpaste. A much better idea than a slug, he had to admit, and at least it matched the baby-duck toothbrush. He gave all this to The Supreme Kai, who, smiling happily, pocketed the lot.
Harry blinked, bewildered, wondering if Shin was allowed to look so happy. "I'm sorry about your —" He had been about to say 'friend' but Kabito had been more of a servant, hadn't he, "— your Kabito. I'm sorry about Kabito," he finished awkwardly.
"Thank you, but there is no need. We shall simply wish him back with the Dragon Balls," the purple man said nonchalantly, leaving Harry perplexed. That sounded as though they were going to bring him back from the dead. But that couldn't be right. You couldn't wish someone back.
Harry opened his mouth to ask just what Shin had meant, then changed his mind. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"What are we gonna do with the space ship?" asked Gohan, poking it with his foot. "It looks kinda small."
Shin walked up to the entrance. "The rest of it is buried. No doubt Babadi had other fighters under his control. We will send them back where they came from, and Harry can transform the more evil ones into —"
"Floss?" Krillin suggested.
There was laughter. Harry permitted himself a chuckle. They might be bizarre, but they were also quite laid back and funny. Like Bill Weasley.
And that's exactly what Harry did. He uprooted Babadi's spaceship until it was unburied and standing as tall as a sky scraper, performed a quick spell to check of any inhabitants, found some, and obliviated them. He had also found a sleeping presence in the deep bowels of the ship.
"It must be Majinn Buu," Shin breathed, eyes wide, when Harry told him. "Bring him to me, if you can."
So Harry Apparated to the giant pink ball, receiving the shock of his life when Goku did the same. So much so that he actually tripped over his shoes and would have hit his head on the floor if it weren't for Goku catching him. Then the Saiyan, while Harry was still blushing, decided to be helpful and Disapparated along with the ball. Harry, only just getting over his shock, let him.
When they were standing back in the open Harry shrunk the ball. Then tried to transfigure it. It didn't work.
He slapped his wand against his thigh and attempted wand-less magic.
Nothing.
"Ah, don't worry about it; it happens to the best of us." Gohan clapped him on the back.
Harry sighed. "It was supposed to have turned into a teaspoon. I think it looks a little silver around the bottom here, though."
"Right, uh, silver," said Krillin, after peeping down to see.
Harry felt like an idiot.
Shin placed a hand on his shoulder. "You have to understand, Harry, that Majinn Buu was pure evil," he explained, glancing down at the little ball in his hand. "And very powerful. I know how the good magic in your dimension reacts to the dark."
"You mean because it doesn't react at all?" said Harry. "I know if something's hit by dark magic it can't be fixed entirely as it had been."
Shin nodded. "Frankly, I'm surprised you were even able to shrink it this much." The long purple fingers stroked the ball hesitantly, before pocketing it. Then he started laughing. "I can't believe how easy this all was! We didn't even have to fight once." A crease appeared between his thin white brows. "Anything else on the ship we should be worried about?"
"Erm . . ." There was one other entity, but Harry hadn't wanted to erase its memory until he'd gotten the all's clear from The Supreme Kai. "There's this thing on the second last level, and it feels sort of . . . monstrous. I mean, its mind just isn't as developed as ours buts its instincts are on par with those of our departed friend over there." He jerked a thumb in the direction of the Dabura-fish skeleton.
Goku whooped. "Oh wow, looks like we'll get to fight after all guys!"
"Goku —" Shin began, but Goku wasn't listening. Instead he had placed two fingers on his forehead and seemed to be concentrating a lot.
"Ah, I see now," he smiled. "There you are. Ya coming guys?"
"C-Coming?" The Supreme Kai reiterated. "What do you think you're doing, Goku? If one of Babadi's creatures is on the ship, we'll get Harry to turn it into something. There is no reason to fight now."
Vegeta growled and clenched his fists. "Shut up! The only reason I left the tournament and followed those ridiculous bald freaks was because you assured us that we would be fighting." The Supreme Kai stared, apparently in disbelief at Vegeta's rudeness. "The tournament is probably over now, and I'm getting my fight one way or another. Kakkarot, you promised me a fight!"
Goku waved his arms about. "Oh, yeah sure, Vegeta. It's just . . . can't I fight this one guy first? There's not much to do when you're dead, you know. It's pretty boring up there."
Harry blinked. Don't think about it, Potter, just don't think about it.
Vegeta's teeth were clenched together so tightly that Harry wouldn't be surprised if he cracked them. "Fine. But after that it's me and you."
"I'm counting on it." Goku's mouth turned up in a small smile.
After everyone got into place, Goku "Instant transmitted" them to the second level, where it was very dark, and where a slimy large creature sat waiting. Shin backed away upon realising what the creature was. Yakkon. From a planet with no sun. After several attempts to tempt Goku away from fighting Yakkon — all of which were fruitless — Shin sat back along with the rest of them as the grinning Saiyan fought the lizard-like beast.
It didn't take him very long. All of five minutes, really. But it was one of the most impressive duels Harry had ever witnessed. All light and strength and speed and wits. Goku was really quite intelligent to have figured out that, to kill Yakkon, he needed to overfeed him with his own glowing gold energy. Harry thought what a benefit it would be if he knew how to fight like that — then remembered the knowledge would be useless back home.
"Amazing," Shin breathed, staring wide-eyed at a victorious Goku. "I had no idea you Saiyans were so powerful. I should have paid more attention to the lower levels of the universe."
"Yes, you should have," Vegeta grunted, arms crossed, "if you truly thought this Yakkon creature was anything more than a measly gnat. Kakkarot did not even have to expend much of his energy. I'm beginning to wonder if Majinn Buu would have been a challenge at all. This whole day has been a waste of my time!"
Shin stared, jaw drooping, as Piccolo burst out: "I've told you before, Vegeta, show some respect!"
"I'll show respect when it's earned," returned the prince. Then, growling, levitated. "I'm going! Kakkarot you still owe me a fight." Vegeta floated upward, blasting a whole in the ceiling, before speeding up and out of sight.
"Erm, I can repair that if you want," said Harry hesitantly.
"Yes, please do," Shin nodded. He was still looking shocked and dazed.
With a negligent wave of his wand, the crumbled ceiling repaired itself.
"Now that that's all taken care of," said The Supreme Kai, looking benevolent and serious once more, "are you ready to go?"
At last. "Yes."
"Is there anyone you wish to say goodbye to?"
He thought about his hotel manager, and how decent and understanding the bloke had been even before Harry had had to erase his memory. Then he thought of Bulma and Chichi and Yamucha and the group back at the World Martial Arts Tournament. Besides his hotel manager, he had not spoken so much to strangers in such a short amount of time. He felt he owed it to them to say goodbye. Besides, he needed to go back to his hotel anyway. His trunk and possessions were there as well as that wonky dimensional time-turner thing. "Yeah. There are some people. Could you wait twenty minutes?"
xxxxxxx
The goodbyes hadn't been difficult. Harry had hardly known the group enough to mourn them. But, despite that, there was still a sense of . . . detachment? Misplacement? As if he had spent a long time learning a new language, only to wake up one day and forget it.
"Take care of yourself, kiddo," said Bulma.
Harry observed her stance; the hands on her hips, the slight smile in her eyes, and grinned back. "I will, thank you." He drew a deep breath, tightened his hand about his trunk, looked around at all the familiar faces, and turned to Shin. "I'm ready."
"I know. Close your eyes."
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