Buckys P.O.V
My stomach dropped again at the memory of her facial features as I choked her. I have no idea what she was saying after I let go, the blood pumping in my ears hadn't died down yet.
After her brothers cold introduction and his subtle glare I followed Nina out. I had just made a turn for the worst, she on the other hand was calm and collected on the outside. My thoughts turned to what she really felt, was it disgust, anger... fear? I have always been feared, at least that's the impression I've received in my memories, never the less I didn't like the dry aftertaste of it.
I held my gaze to my plate until I heard soft whispers, I looked up in time to see her brother gently nod his head towards her neck. The horror intensified as I saw my hand print softly caressing her neck, I could see where my fingertips squeezed as bruising began to form there.
I had never laid a hand on a woman - well, not when I was in charge of my actions at least- yet staring at her exposed neck, the outline of her clavicles, it made me feel sick.
I saw her stand and walk towards the Ladies room, no doubt to inspect the damage I had caused. I would need to apologize to her brother soon, and to her as well.. again.
I stared at the table again and found myself drifting towards my new memory. What in the hell was that about?
Who was that woman?
No, I knew who she was, an agent of shield, and judging by her clothes it seemed it was a few years after Hydra won the fight against me. I have never had a memory of a woman before, of my kills yes, but never of a woman whom I held a conversation.
Well... if you can call that a conversation, but... she knew me. She was looking for me and I killed her. She was my mission and I killed her. Instead now I have more questions about her and my past, perhaps i could ask Tony for help.
Things with Tony have been rocky but lately he's been more... patient with me. After being under house arrest for 8 months and being under numerous treatments for my... condition. There seemed to have been a bound born out of his anguish and my fear of being controlled. Granted after all that Tony still wasn't able to find a way to help me resist those trigger words, but now I was able to hold off longer before turning into an obedient little soldier. As well as snapping back out of that damn trance, little by little I was able to control myself better, fight it off and come back sooner. Unfortunately the side affects were being harassed by memories, one right after the other. They never made any sense and the years seemed to be scrambled. Steve was able to help me create a time line which soon Tony found it his duty to take over.
But the teasing on his end increased and I figured that was an optimistic sign that things are going good. I'll ask Tony tomorrow to see if he has access to any file of Shields after 1950.
"Bucky are you alright?" My head snapped up to catch Natasha staring at me expectantly.
"Of course Talia." I gave my best smile and felt phony while doing so. I looked around the table to see everyone paying attention to anything but the main speaker. I figured I should be listening until a chill ran up my spine. I looked around and caught Nina's brother looking my way. All of a sudden I felt a small haze come over my mind, and the panic began, it felt like a memory was about to make its way, but then, nothing happened and the haze was there, as if I could touch it if I reached out.
I know you hurt my sister, and I am aware it was unintentional, but touch her again and the pain and fear from being assulted by your memories will be a walk in the park compared to what I will do to you. Fair warning.
Milenko's voice rattled around in my head and I had to stop myself from jumping a mile high as I heard it. He didn't sound as angry as he looked-
I am not angry, I understand those reactions, more so than you could understand. But I will always watch out for my sister. She means a lot to me, and although I know she can take care of herself, it is also your safety I am looking out for.
Milenko, I understand. I do want to apologize to you, I meant her no harm and I am afraid those marks will take a few days to fade. I regretfully sorry for touching her. It won't happen again.
For your sake, I hope so. Katarina may seem calm on the outside, but inside she is a spitfire. Just don't tell her I told you so.
I couldn't help myself and chuckled at his words, i reached for my drink and took a sip only to choke on it afterwards.
A memory that was clearly not my own played out of a very angry Katarina standing in a door frame with a wooden spoon on fire in one hand and in the other a sandle?..yelling in a rapid spanish that sounded more like she was singing then giving whoever an earful. Her hair in a lopsided bun falling apart and what looked like powder covering her blue shorts and black shirt, flour. It was flour, behind her a black cloud of smoke and an insesent smoke alarm blaring with all its force that was drowned out by Katarina's yelling. The person, which I assumed was Milenko made the mistake to laugh out loud and the last thing I saw was the sandle being thrown towards my face.
As quickly as the memory had come, it had left and I was back at staring at Milenko who sat back on his chair, a smirk gracing his features.
That sandle left a mark on my forehead for a a few days, I heard all type of tire track remarks and feminism jokes after that. Like I said, spitfire.
It seems she is. I do feel horrible for what I did, I-
Let it go, I know how bad you feel, I can sense it, the same way I can get into your mind. Let's call it being even, the day she turns on you I won't defend you, I'll only fuel the humiliation more. Esta bien?
Ok, thank you.
I waited for a replay and found that the haze that came over my head cleared and Milenko's attention was taken by Natasha. The fancy watch Sam gave me for Christmas made a soft noise and I realized it was 20:30, the night had passed by quickly and my bed kept calling for me . This day had turned out worse then I had previously anticipated and the alcoholic drink before me barley scratched the itch I was feeling. If only the super serum had allowed me to get properly drunk.
I stood up and headed towards the open bar for something russian, after quickly ordering my drink and sitting down I felt a small hand delicately land on my left arm, in the crook of my elbow.
A fairly young and beautiful blond woman sat beside me.
"I'm sorry Mr. Barnes, I hope this seat isn't taken, but I saw you walking over here and I couldn't help myself. My name is Moira Lengton and I have had my eye on you all night." Her bright red lips curved upwards into a smirk, her eyes gleamed with mischief and her touch suddenly became too intimate for the norms of a introduction. I shift in my chair, feeling a little more confident and smiled back.
"Is that so Miss. Lengton? Why is that?" My voice lowered itself as I spoke to her, making her lean forward, her bright blue eyes locking with mine, her breast slightly brushing my metal covered arm. It seemed as though the old Bucky was peaking out from beneath all the pain and self loathing. A flash of pride swept through me, woman used to flaunt themselves in front of me, they enjoyed my attention. Just as I enjoyed giving it to them, I was a ladies man. A long time ago, maybe, but at this moment with this seductive woman in front of me, I felt a shift in my person. I used to be an overly confident man.
"Well for starters you are quite the looker Mr. Barnes, and I do enjoy the company of good looking men, especially ones that don't mind being forward and don't mind ordering a scotch for me."
She winked at me and leaned more on my arm, her hand that was previously inside the crook of my elbow, abandoning it's warmth and landing squarely on the inside of my black jacket, on my left pectoral. Her chest sliding up my arm as I felt her warm breath next to my ear, ready to give me a secret, like the vixen she was.
"A scotch we could enjoy elsewhere, perhaps in the company of your bedroom, Mr. Barnes."
...
Katarina P.O.V.
"Thor!"
I felt myself being lifted high in the air in a tight embrace of rippling muscles.
"Thor it's so good to see you! Dios mio! What are you doing in New York, I thought you left to Asgard. How is Jane? And Darcy, I've missed them so much!"
He lowered me to the floor with more carefulness then what he used to pick me up. I looked up at his joyful face and the memory of the first time I met him came flooding back.
After a few anxiety attacks and a strong depression hit during my work in the New York State Psychiatric Institute, my boss decided to force me into taking a month off. The pain of losing a very close patient was too much of a loss in my life and the guilt I felt for not being able to do more drove me to a bad drinking habit and panic attacks through out the day. Matt had counseled me to take all of my PTO at once, which amounted to three months worth of paid time off, but after driving a hard negotiation and blackmailing on my part, he resigned to letting me come back to work after only a month. Said I took my job too seriously and had forgone my social life. So, after receiving a boot to the ass and a get better soon basket by my colleges, I booked a plane to New Mexico to visit my old friends, Jane and Darcy. I had been spending time with them, tinkering around and cracking jokes like the good old days where life was free of responsibilities. Before Jane became an astrophysic and way before I decided to go into psychology and Neuro science with my brother. Things were quite for what my life consisted of back in New York, but of course that was before we found Thor and went into an illegal adventure that had our adrenaline spiked and Jane's love interest became mine and Darcy's main concern, among other things.
But that time with all of them, Thor, Dr. Erik, it was exactly the vacation I needed. Thor and I became close, while he asked for advise on Jane, I asked him questions about his culture and history back home. Soon our bond felt more like family then anything else. It was such a painful goodbye when he left, and I stayed around for a few more weeks afterwards. Jane was a sweet girl with a mean right hook, but she needed us, and suddenly I remembered what it felt like to be needed for someone with normal problems. Love problems.
Of course once I left with Jane's promise to visit me in New York and Darcy sending me constant emails with suitable bachelor's, I began to wonder if Thor would ever come back to Jane. After hearing about his return from Dr. Erik and a excited two hour long phone call from Darce, I was happy to hear Thor was doing alright.
But seeing him here, in front of me, it was something out of this world!
"They are both as good as any should be. I must apologize Miss. Katarina, when last I was here, I did not spare time to visit you in New York. I am sure-"
"Ooh stop that you old Toff, I know saving the world is a taxing job. It says so in the fine print." I winked at him which only made him chuckle deeply, he stretched his arms and put his massive hands on my shoulders, making me feel puiny.
"You look beautiful my spanish warrior. Have you found yourself a mate yet? There are plenty of men in Asgard that would be honored to take care of you in marriage. I took Jane to Asgard, she enjoyed herself much during her trip. Perhaps one of my brothers in arms. They would never dare anger you, and to that extent me."
I laughed at this, since the first time I met Thor he was constantly looking after me, worried that I would never find a man worthy of me. He was as bad as Milenko on his best days.
"Thor, I'm fine. A man right now would only ruin my fun, not add to it."
He smiled tenderly at me and grabbed my hand, patted it with a look in his eyes of concealed sadness.
"I know we men can be difficult in the understanding of woman. Many a times I find myself lost with Jane and her wit. But my little spanish warrior I am concerned for you. I.. there is.. something I have not been able to tell you and now is not the time for such stories but, promise me that in two days we can talk."
"What are-"
"No, I can not explain here. It is not the right time, promise me that we may talk in two days. Away from prying ears. Do you promise?"
I sighed loudly, since the day I told him my name and my origin, he had always been protective of me. Now he tells me there is something I need to know, only to increase my curiosity, and not sate it was cruel but what else could I do. It wasn't like I could wrestle an answer out of him, nor use any sort of manipulation. Jane could, but I couldnt.
"Alright Mr. Secretive-hold-the-bait-in-front-of-a-curious-woman God, almighty Thor. Two days. And so help you if you change the date to later, you'll deal with my wrath which is much more spicy then Jane's wrath. You have been warned."
He laughed deeply at that and tucked my hand underneath his elbow as we stepped out.
"It seems the honored speaker is done and I am to assume there is a dance on its way?"
He moved me towards the center of the room where people began to slowly get up from their seats, some heading out to congratulate the guest speakers, while other began to gossip among themselves. Suddenly slow music began to play and I saw a few couples on the dance floor with us.
Thor kept his distance and we spoke about the latest news on Asgard, and soon I felt myself tuning him out as I caught a glance around his massive shoulder. A vibrant blond woman was sitting at the bar, heavily leaning on Bucky and he seemed to be enjoying it.
That's when a soft pain began to shift inside my chest, the pit of my stomach seemed empty yet filled with a crawling sensation. Something about that woman was throwing my senses off.
Thor decided it was time to spin me and shift our stance closer to the bar, which gave me a better view of this woman. She wore a tightly fitted, blue dress that flared out at the knees and covered her no doubt high heels. Her right hand held onto a small clutch bag and her left hand looked as if it was tucked away inside Buckys open jacket. Her hair was piled neatly atop her head and a small tattoo was visible at the nape of her neck, a tattoo of a key hole?
Thor suddenly spinned me again and gave me a soft dip. Afterwards he stepped back and clapped along with everyone else, the dance had ended and he bent down to give me a soft kiss on the top of my head and he turned me around to face a blushing Steve Rogers.
