One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention (SHUN IS NOT APPEARING IN THIS EPISODE AND DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED -Editor), and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

Episode Seven
Daddy 007

It was another beautiful sunset at Momo Inc. Headquarters, the tallest structure in Your Town. We ease into the scene when…AAH!! A BLUE BAKUGAN!! He had glowy eyes, which kind of stood out against his shady head…and past. OOH.

"WOAH!" he yelped. His voice completely destroyed any seriousness hovering around him or his past. He sounded exactly like a certain Gilbert Gottfried. "A penthouse with a FA-A-Abulous view! Too bad the commute's a real killer. ZING!" He looked around. Nobody seemed to be listening. "Come on! Can't a guy get a little applause?" At least he got some service. A pigeon flew conveniently to his aid! "HEY-O! Taxi!" He leaped on. "Quick! To the flower bed below, and STEP ON IT!"

The pigeon nodded solemnly, the troublesome marble somehow holding onto its feathers by just stepping on them.

At Dan's house…

Dan was laying on his bed, reading volume seven on Keroro Gunso. "I wish the next volume of Bakugan Monthly would come out already. I'm starvin' for some marblin'! Knowledge!" Runo didn't reply. "Hey, Runo! You listening to me?"

She was on her cell phone! "You can't tell us what you've been building so long!? Your company is SUCH a buzzkill…Okay, bye." She flipped the phone down. "Dan, I was asking Momo Inc. what they were planning on doing with that construction site. You know, the one in Venezuela. I went there this summer vacation when they were building, now I get THIS news! It's been SIX FREAKING MONTHS. SO LONG." She sighed loudly.

"I bet it's SOOPER SECRET CRIME FIGHTING STUFF." Dan wiggled his fingers.

"Wait, doesn't your dad work at Momo?"

"Well, yeah. But even HE doesn't know! And besides, he works for them, so he might be keeping it a secret. My dad…a spy…AWESOME."

Runo turned to Julie and Alice, who were on Dan's computer. "Your at dans house??? LOL!!!" Julie squeed.

"Yeah. Ever since I came here we've been close friends, even though we argue a lot."

"Oh, well, that's weird, I guess."

"You know," Alice said, "I would go for something a little lower-maintenance. A dance center? Dancing is a big business nowadays, and Momo is a corporation that wants money, after all."

"Daddy 007!" Dan cried.

"That's a stupid name."

"Well, Runo's a SUCKY name. Get used to it."

"WHY YOU-" She got all up in Dan's grill! "If it weren't for the fact that I get off my job by hanging out with you, I'd-"

"Hey!" Marucho appeared! "According to my findings, I should have the correct data for this particular incorporation's newest addition! Drumroll, please!" Someone started drumming in the background. "It's…my family's new house!"

Everyone sighed and fainted.

"Momo Incorporated said they'd give us their newest tower if we paid them enough! And my family's extremely rich! Now we're moving from our hometown in San Francisco into this multi-trillion dollar tower!"

"Hmm…" Dan rubbed his chin. "But if Momo still controls this building…they must be up to something! They're using you and your family, Marucho. Using you." His voice went cold, his eyes dead serious. Marucho simply laughed it off.

"But Momo's a trusted organization. They're close friends with my parents. Aaanyways, I've decided to invite ALL of my friends to a party that's going on there! It's gonna be great!"

"Maybe there'll be some cool Twilight stuff there!" Runo immediately said.

"Actually," Dan stated, "I never even liked Twilight."

"Me neither," Marucho said.

"WHAAAAAT!?!? Then why'd you join the freaking Twilight forum!?"

"It's popular," Marucho explained.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"At least WE still like Twilight," Julie said, "right, Alice?"

"Not really."

"WTFOMGLOLBBQ!?!?"

In some forest…

A bird's nest sat on a tree. It contained eggs…ANDABAKUGAN!! It was none other than Mr. Gottfriedmarble, or whoever he was supposed to be.

"UHHHuuuueeeeeuuueeeeeehhhhh," he yawned, stretching out his arms as he opened. He stretched SO HARD and SO SLOWLY that the egg directly next to him started cracking! And so did the others, because the shockwave was THAT STRONG! "Oh no…OH NO NO NO NO…" He started to panic.

Luckily they all had two days until they were going to hatch anyways! "CHEEPCHEEPCHEEPCHEEP," they cheeped.

"Silence, SILENCE! Order in the court! All five-headed monsters stay down! Daah!" But they only cheeped away.

These voices…they haunted him in his memories…

Cheap. Cheap. Cheap. Cheap.

Somehow they picked him up using only their beaks and willpower, wanting desperately to get rid of this outsider. "YEOWCH! Put me down! I have weapons! You don't know who you're messing with!" But they dropped him anyways. "Tuck and roll, TUCK AND ROLL!!' He turned into Marble Mode again. "OW…that was a rock…MUST…RESIST…SUDDEN STOP…"

Since everybody should know by now that plastic marbles are especially elastic and bouncy, Gottfriedmarble bounced safely into a truck chock full of flowers. "AAH WHATS WRONG I CANT SEE – oh. Phew! Flowers! I'm safe!"

But then he realized, "YEOWCH!! GLASS FLOWERS!!"

Outside of Marucho's multi-trillion dollar home…

Dan and Runo stood there at the gateway to Momo-Rutabaga Tower. "Woah," Dan said. "So this is what their secret spy headquarters looks like."

"When you first mentioned that…I didn't know you meant it seriously. Really, Dan? Are you still hung up on that?"

"Of course! Who doesn't LOVE the appeal of a super secret spy for a father?" He noticed the line. "Hey, Runo, just realized…there's a line."

"Oh…it doesn't look so badWHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!? There's gotta be like two million people in that line! I can't see the end of it!" She spoke the truth, although there were actually only 800,000.

"I know, right? Anyways, let's just go to the back…"

"Hippohippohippohippo…"

Dan's ears pricked. "What?" Runo inquired.

"…You hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Hippohippohippohippo…"

"Oh, that! Hippo talk. So?"

"Nobody talks about hippos like my dad talks about hippos."

Upon closer inspection, his father was attending! "Hippo hippo hippo, hippo hippo hippo hippo hippo!" Father Figure said to a young lady behind him.

"Uh-huh, yeah, okay," she said in response.

Dan leaned in close and whispered, "Spy things."

Runo grimaced.

"Hey, Dan! Hey, Runo! It's great to see you in person!" said a weird young voice. They looked down to see…Marucho!

"Hey, Marucho! What's shakin'?" Dan inquired.

"Wanna skip ahead of this huge line?"

"Even in front of your other friends?"

"Well, the Battle Brawlers are…sorta my only real friends. And for some reason Julie and Alice didn't come." He frowned. "Everyone else is a friend of my parents. They're not here right now."

"They're at the party inside, right?" Runo guessed.

"Nope! Come on in!" Marucho demanded.

Soon, they emerged in his huge marble domain! "The first floor is orange-themed," Marucho pointed out. "Lots of orange. It's also the closet."

"Well," Dan said, "you've sure got a lot of people hiding in your closet!"

Runo thought with stars in her eyes, Wow…these people are so rich they call their massive welcoming room a closet…and they can hide people there…maybe even their maids…

"There's so…much…BLING!!"

"Ew! You still say 'bling'?" Dan was repulsed! "EW! I KNEW girls had cooties!"

They gazed at the beautiful, shiny, unrealistic flowers. "BLING…BLING…" Runo stared hypnotized at the flowers. Then a fly landed on one. The glass flower shattered instantly, and she jumped back! "IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! There's some glass in my cheek! It got in my eye! Wait up!" She stumbled after them.

Soon, our hilarious Mr. Gottfriedmarble came out from a glass flower. "Now's my chance to-" Then the glass, predictably, broke. He bounced wildly onto the floor and under unsuspecting feet. "Daah, DAAH…stop it, STOP it…OUCH, you jammed my shin into my teeth…and I don't have either of those. That must've done a lotta damage! Zing – OUCH!!"

The trio walked through a red-carpeted hallway, Runo having long since healed miraculously healed. "Hey, Marucho, how does your family make so much money?"

"They're full-time actors. And I mean full-time actors. You may have heard of them. Know anything about Johnny and Maria Rutabaga? They're my parents."

"Oh!" Runo recalled. "They starred in such classics as Tarzan Meets the Flintstones! And didn't your dad also star in Chicago Jones, Cousin of Indiana Jones?"

"That's right!"

"I can see why they make so much cash now. I heard in Canada TMF was their highest-grossing movie in history!"

"They tell me they can't get enough of acting," Marucho said. "They act all day, they act all night, sleep-act, act while they find more parts to act…in fact, they're hardly home because they're so busy acting all the time. But they're ashamed of me because they say I'm too…nerdy to act and hold up the family tradition."

"Are you?" Dan asked.

"I don't want to act anyways, so if that's what you call it, then yes, I'm too nerdy to act."

"Woah." Dan went silent for a second. "So is there any top-secret facility in this building?"

"Nothing…except the 101st floor."

"101st floor!?" The very mention of this mysterious name shook them to their core!

"Don't be so scared! It's just a button someone painted on as a practical joke or something. Wanna go see it after I show you the main rooms?"

"Yeah!" Dan was hyped! But first he opened a mysterious door.

"Yeah, Dan, you go do that while we leave you behind," Runo said, walking away.

"I'm sure that room is bigger than your house, but there's more exciting things to see," Marucho added.

Dan's eyes glistened, almost like Runo's at the sight of all of that "bling" downstairs. The lights turned themselves on, illuminating the room and giving it a sort of glow. The brown patterned carpet screamed "CLASS!!". And in the middle sat…the toilet.

"I'VE GOTTA USE THIS!!"

Marucho and Runo felt the need to stand outside of the bathroom, waiting for Dan. "Wonder what's taking him?" Runo wondered aloud.

Then they heard someone shout, "There's no sink in this bathroom…IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!"

Later they kept walking. The room was oddly blue, and glassy… Then Dan and Runo turned around and were shocked to see a fifty-foot whale beside them in a tank! "WHAAA!!"

Then they passed by some giraffes! "WHOOOOOAH!!"

Then they passed by a lazy panda! "WHUWHUWHUWHOAWHOA!!"

Then they came to an art gallery! "I THOUGHT THIS PAINTING WAS STILL IN FRANCE!!"

"We bought it for a billion dollars."

"WAAAAAHHH!!"

Everything was as BIG as TEXAS, even though there's much bigger things than just Texas, but whatever. They reached a TV room which, oddly enough, only had one chair and a desk facing the several-meter-wide plasma-screen television. Dan immediately cried, "I call seat!" Somehow Marucho was already sitting in the desk chair by the time Dan got there. "Huh? There's only one chair…,IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!"

"Watch this," Marucho demanded. He typed on a keyboard, and it turned out the TV doubled as a computer!

Julie's humongous scary face popped up! "HI~!" she greeted loudly, voice in terrifying surround sound.

"AAH!! Get me outta here!" Dan begged, being a wimp.

"Did Marucho buy a giant computer or something? Because, like, you're so small! Technology is so awesome, isn't it?"

"Why didn't you come to the party?" the nerd asked.

"There was a party?" Julie looked at Runo. "It was your job to tell me if there were any parties going on…"

"Oh, right, look, I was going to e-mail you, but then my dad forced me to come to the family restaurant. He makes me work all day, can you believe that?"

"Oh, yeah, I totally understand!"

"Then I got caught up in other things, and…you know."

"Yeah," Dan butted in, "Runo's really ZONED OUT these days."

Runo snarled, "WHAT…DID YOU…SAY?"

"I said you really ZONED OUT these days."

*implied slap*

"Ow!" He rubbed his cheek, then his nose, the latter for no good reason. "What? I just said you really ZONED OUT these days."

*implied slap*

"Ow! That's all I said! I just said-"

"Break it up!" Julie demanded. "My cute little Dan and BFF Runo don't need to be fighting over ZONING OUT."

"WHAT…DID YOU…SAY?"

"I just repeated what Dan said!"

"WHAT…DID HE…SAY?"

"You don't remember?"

"…NO."

"Well, let's just forget all about it!" She smiled and shrugged. "So what were we talking about yestrday Dany-dan???"

"Daaah! Let's get outta here, before it gets worse!" And everyone skedaddled.

On the 52st floor (which is a dumb name)…

There were a bunch of tables, and there was also a bunch of food. A bunch of people gossiped and chatted whilst eating deviled eggs and sliced olives. Mr. Gottfriedmarble over here was still bouncing around, but nobody cared. "Aaaah! Noooo! Make it stop! Make it sto-ho-ho-hooooop!" he cried, but nobody cared. He just happened to fall into Father Figure's pocket, which was wide open and ripe for the catchin'.

"Deviled eggs, deviled eggs," he murmured, shaking around as he searched, "deviled eggs…deviled eggs!" He picked up a shish kebob. "Ah, good ol' deviled eggs. There's nothing better than a good ol'-fashioned deviled egg!"

Later, he had eaten too many deviled eggs. Too…many…good ol'…ol'-fashioned…deviled eggs… he thought, clutching his stomach in pain. Maybe I should turn back and try going to the 101st floor…I heard Billiam talking about that in line. Gosh darnit, can't these people find their bathroom without a freaking GPS?

He looked through another random door. "Hello? Anyone here?" But there was obviously no-one else around…except for Gottfriedmarble. His eyes floated over to some pretty fake-looking necklaces made of plastic-y rubies and emeralds. "No way, these can't be real," he mumbled, holding some of the (fake) rubies in his palm.

Gottfriedmarble poked his head out, looked at them, and said to himself, JEWELS!!

"I wonder how I would look if…" Father Figure looked around uneasily before putting the jewelry around his neck. He looked in the mirror and gasped, "I'm GORGEOUS!!"

From the hallway, Suchi and Akuma snickered. "Heh heh," the fat one laughed, "he's tryin' on JEWELRY."

"Hey," Akuma said in response, "he might be trying on girly fake things, but he's also a burglar! That's cool!"

"Hey, you're right!"

"JEWELS!! JEWELS!! JEWELS!!" Gottfriedmarble walked out the door with a necklace trailing behind him, but Father Figure didn't notice him nor Suchi nor Akuma.

Round Two, comin' up! SHING! *cue scary Marucho face*

Bakugan Battle Brawlers is BACK ON TRACK! What a zinger!

Lights came on. Cameras started rolling. And there was ACTION!

Ms. Pri stood onstage and announced, "Hi, and welcome back! We bring you tonight the ultra-hip Jen and Ten super sing-sound extravaganza!"

Mist cleared, and revealed two young teenage girls with attitude! One had long red hair, the other short green hair (with a hint of purple)! The crowd cheered, "Je-en! Te-en! Je-en! Te-en!"

Marucho had persuaded Dan and Runo to stay in the TV room and watch Jen and Ten from there, up-close! "Wow!" Dan said. "Two teen sensations I don't know anything about!"

"Hey, y'all!" red-haired Jen said in a deep, manly voice! "We're here to hop with our super-pops we-don't-stop!" Or something like that. Maybe young twelve-or-younger girls would know what she was trying to say.

"Don't miss a beat," Ten said, also masculine, "'cuz we are hawt!"

The two locked hands, the camera swirled around, and they stuck one foot in the air, creating a lovely bonding pose! "We're Jen and Ten, y'all! Super sing sound!"

"Ah, lesbians," Dan sighed. "They always look so manly. And they sound the part, too!"

"Ah, Ten," Marucho swooned, "no voice is quite as beautiful as yours…"

"Are you wacked out or something!?" Dan shouted, outraged. "Those girls are straight-up lesbians! You wanna start a relationship with somebody who's not even interested in men!? Disgusting!"

"Are you calling Ten a lesbian?" Marucho made a fist!

They locked eyes and growled! "Grrrr…"

Runo stayed back. "This is gonna take a while…"

"Okay now," Ms. Pri said, "tell us what inspires you the most."

"OMGTHATSMSPRI-"

"Bakugan!" Ten said cheerily.

"Uhh, Bakugan…?" The mention brought up bad memories and primal thoughts in Ms. Pri's mind.

"Dang straight, y'all!" Ten went on to say. "It's the hippest happeningest game anyone who's anyone is playing!"

"Yeah-huh!" Jen added. "Bakugan is the coolest! Like, it's all over the news!"

"Oh, yes, Bakugan…"

Dan played Bakugan…

An innate feeling of fear and hatred arose in Ms. Pri's tainted heart. It grew and grew until it could grow no more, and came to a head…

"Bakugan? YOUR INSPIRATION IS BAKUGAN!?!? I'M GONNA SHOW YOU-"

The screen displayed a grayscale title card saying, "Please Wait" and featuring a jolly Popeye with a huge smile.

"Wow, they like Bakugan too!" Dan was surprised. "Never heard of a LESBIAN Bakugan-brawling duo! Must be the best…of the LESBIAN Bakugan circuit. Heh heh. That's funny."

"I guess they're pretty good," Marucho assumed.

"You're calling them GOOD and you don't even KNOW them!?" Runo was blazing with rage!

"I said I assumed they were good!"

"Oh, well, that's okay, then." Runo calmed down.

"And I just said they were the best of the lesbian Bakugan circuit."

"AND HOW DO YOU—"

The door behind them opened. A German Shepherd with a plate on his head arrived! Said plate held a couple of shish kebobs. "Shish kebobs for your needlessly-angry friend, monsieur?" his high-tech collar said in a very butlery voice.

"I'll show YOU needless—"

"Calm down! This is Jimi, our butler dog. If you hurt him you'll be arrested!"

"Hmph." She pouted and crossed her arms.

Back with Suchi and Akuma…

"JEWELS! JEWELS! Can ya believe it, JEWELS!!" shouted Gottfriedmarble, walking out the door and being painfully visible.

"Hey, this guy's even cooler!" Akuma said, pointing him out to Suchi. "But dumber!"

"Yeah, arguably," Fatboy agreed. "Hey, if we steal HIM, we'll steal BOTH the obnoxious toy AND the fake-looking jewelry!"

"And then we'll sell 'em for cold, hard cash…" Akuma rubbed his clammy hands together. "On the count o' three, you snag 'em! One…two…three!"

"Urgh!" Suchi lunged at him tummy-first! He caught the marble with his hands, though.

"YEEOWCH!! I'VE BEEN CAUGHT!! RELEASE ME!! LET ME GO!! LET ME ROAM FREE!! WOULD IT KILL YA TO LET A GUY STEAL SOME JEWELS!?!?"

In a fancy black limousine…

A different but similar-looking woman drove Jen and Ten through the Venezuelan streets. Jen moaned masculinely, "I'm BORED. I wanna play Bakugan. Work's BORING. I'm bored."

"Yeah," Ten said in a husky, scratchy voice. "I'm BORED. You aren't even the real Ms. Pri. Where is she?"

She was tied up in the trunk with tape over her mouth. "Mmmmmfmmmm…" she mumbled. Ms. Pri struggled to say, "BAKUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"

"That information is classified," Ms. Brown stated. "Look, I don't wanna hear anything about Bakugan after what I just saw happen at the show unless I get paid for it. So just zip it, okay?"

"Fine," they sighed irritatingly.

Jen and Ten fans surrounded an electronic display on the side of Mump Tower, holding "ILUVU" and "JENTEN4EVA" signs, and the like. The fans were enormously destructive and completely idiotic, killing policemen and staff members who were trying to hold them back. Jen and Ten, the superstars themselves, emerged from the parked limo and onto the pavement.

"Hi~!" Ten waved to the crowd.

"Hey, y'all~!" Jen added.

Ms. Brown tried to handle the crowd, shouting, "CLEAR THE WAY, YA HOOLIGANS! DON'T MAKE ME SPIT THE HURRICANE ON YA!"

Jen and Ten, I am Mask the Money.

But the two girls had already heard this voice. They still looked around and tried to act surprised.

Yeah. Over there, to your right – no, your other right – no, you're looking up now – no, that's your sister you're looking at – for crying out loud, OVER HERE!! GOD, you two are stupid.

They took a few minutes finding a spiky-haired fashion disaster lurking in the crowd.

Yes, over there. Now that you've finally gotten it right, I hope you're finally ready for some Bakugan action.

"Oh, a Bakugan battle?" Ten said.

"NO MORE BAKUGAN TALK OR I'LL SPIT THE HURRICANE ON EVERYONE!!"

"Look," Jen said, coming closer, "we already have the Doom card because you've met us before. So just tell us what you want us to do, okay?"

A hurricane had been unleashed on the wild crowd, but Ms. Brown turned to the "girls"…and saw nothing but the limo! "Huh? Where'd they go…?"

Back with Suchi and Akuma…

"Okay, alright, fine! I guess I'll agree to be your loyal slave if you don't slaughtuh me like you warned me you were about to!"

"Don't worry," the fat one said, holding him in one hand, "you'll be safe with us…"

Akuma lifted up the jewelry as he said, "I'll take 70% of the profit, and you…huh!? This jewelry isn't real, it's so obviously fake! It's just plastic!"

"But at least we have this Bakugan!" Suchi tossed the marble into the air a few times. "Mr. Gottfriedmarble's gonna work with us for a long, long time, now, isn't he?"

"My name's not Gottfried! Why does everyone think that? I keep tellin' ya, it's Aquis-Preyus! Preyus! Preyus!"

"Fine. Mr. Gottfriedmarble-"

"GAAAAAH!! I can't take it anymore! Everyone keeps calling me Gottfried! When will it end!?" Preyus rolled down the hall, thoroughly upset.

"…Wow. Remind me to challenge Dan to a brawl after the party, okay, Akuma?"

The marble continued to roll, and sooner or later he ended up in the TV room, where Dan and the gang were having food. Preyus conveniently bumped into Marucho's foot! Since Marucho was so smart and nerd-like, he noticed him instantly, unlike EVERYONE ELSE IN THEIR UNIVERSE. "Hey, it's a Bakugan!" Marucho said, picking him up.

"Please don't call me Gottfried! I'm sick of everyone calling me Gottfried! It's a nightmare that never ends!"

"Okay, I'll just call you…Preyus?"

"You're such a smart boy! A smart, smart boy! I'd let you own me and use me in your marble games any day!"

"Well, okay, then." He placed Preyus in his pocket.

"What was that?" Dan said, having stuffed a bunch of "deviled eggs" into his mouth.

"Nothing important."

"Oh."

"Monsieur Marucho," Jimi said from behind them, "you have further guests to attend to. Please welcome Jen and Ten. They tell me they are a super sing sound sensation, but I have no idea what in the hell that means. Would you please define this term for me, monsieur?"

"I don't know, either."

"I guess it is just a mystery, then." Jimi hung his head and backed out of the room.

"Hey, y'all!" Jen said, posing with Ten in the exact pose they'd seen on television. "We're here to say that we're here to brawl with just you today!"

"So get ready," Ten said, "'cause we're here to play! Oh yeah. When I say-"

Jen cupped her hand over Ten's mouth. "Shut it with the Hillshire!"

Ten put her hand over Jen's mouth! "Mmfmmfmm mmm-"

But it was time to go into their Super Sing Sound pose! "We're Jen 'n' Ten," they struggled to get out, hands still on each others' mouths. "Super sing soond!"

"See, Dan?" Marucho said. "They're dysfunctional! They can't be in love with each other!"

"…We'll just ignore that statement!" Jen went on to say! Jen took out a blue marble! Ten took out a brown marble! "Let's throw…a Bakugan block party!"

"So do you guys feel like brawlin'?" Ten asked.

"Any time, any place, I'm READYTAROLL!!" Dan went on to say! Dan took out a red marble! Dan took out a red marble! "The only way to prove there's incest between you two is a Bakugan brawl, am I right? Am I right? Can a Danny get a HOL-UH?"

"AAH!!" Runo squealed. "This STANKS! I've only got one Brawler! How am I supposed to take on two party crashers in a game that's optional in that you can choose to play or not and it affects almost nothing!? I hate this!"

"'Tis unfortunate," Halo Tiger said, "for she doth not know what her decision could be."

"I guess this is gonna have to be a brawl between boys and girls! Ready to rock and roll, Marucho?"

"Ready!"

The two did a more manly version of the Super Sing Sound pose! "We're Dan and Marucho! Awesome Action All the Time!"

On the roof of Momo-Rutebaga Tower…

They all stood atop the three-mile-high tower. Why? Because they thought it would be a cooler place to brawl. But don't they go to another dimension when they brawl, making this not matter in the slightest? Don't ask. Anyways, now they were all equipped with their own turkey basters, from which they could launch their Bakugan! Except Marucho had the official Bakugan merchandise because, you know, he had way too much money.

Dan posed with his turkey baster, trying to look cool but failing because it was a freaking turkey baster! "Runo, check this out! Now I can squirt out my Bakugan from this squirt gun thingy! Yeah! This is too rad!"

"Alright, alright, stop goofing off," Runo said bluntly. "It's just a cooking utensil, nothing to get worked up over."

"I'd give you two real shooters," Marucho said, trying to get his official Bakugan merchandise on right, "but you didn't come with money, and you'd have to pay for it. The family's gotta get money somehow, as my parents say."

"That's alright, Marucho. This turkey baster's AWSUM!!"

"Hey, boys!" Jen said in an obviously-manly voice as usual. "We bought our own official Bakugan merchandise, too!" They had the rounder, LAMER, more GIRLY models equipped!

"We can do this, Marucho! They have the rounder, less threatening version! We can take 'em!"

"So, up for a friendly game of…DOOM CARD!?!?" Ten wiggled the card around gleefully.

"DAT'S DA DOOM CARD!!" Dan said, pointing out the obvious.

The skull on the card zoomed in, laughing. …..

"So Mask the Money was behind all of this!" Marucho reasoned.

"Hmm…lemme thinkYES."

"I should've known!" Runo shouted.

"Heh heh!" Dan chuckled. "Runo's a little slow."

"YOU'RE SLOWER!"

"But how…could you be so…STUPID?" Dan asked. "You trusted a fashion disaster with super saiyan hair? How COULD you!?"

"Super Saiyans are cool," Jen pointed out. "They have superhuman strength and can, like, Kamehameha and all that. We used to watch a lot of Dragon Ball Z, so yeah."

Dan squinted his eyes. "Why did you girls ever watch Dragon Ball Z…?"

"A girl can't watch that?"

"No…because it's a MANIME!!" Fire erupted from Dan! Figuratively!

"They have a point!" Marucho assured.

"Who cares!? Let's just show 'em our moves and BRAWL 'em!"

"…Yes!" Marucho agreed.

They each held out a card, chanting, "Field, Open!" Well, everybody except Runo. Her hair stopped waving around in the wind, and some pigeons stopped in mid-flight.

They were soon in Sub-Terra, or something, where Jen and Ten made the opening move! "Doom Card, Set!" And they set their Doom cards. Ten got the extra one from Mask the Money, giving them an unnecessary copy available for retail sale. They seeped into the ground like a shuriken made out of slime!

"Gate Card, Set!" they said at the exact same moment, dropping their cards like atom bombs. They combined to form a Windows symbol.

"Now, let's start brawlin'!" Ten announced. "Bakugan, Stand!" She tossed a marble onto Marucho's side of the gaming field. She then started doing the Batman disturbingly! "Perfect bullseye~!" she said, blushing.

"Ew! She looks like a transvestite!"

Lo and behold, Terry HeadTerror was summoned!

"CURRENT POWER LEVEL 290 G'S. NO OTHER DATA AVAILABLE."

"There's never any more data available!" Marucho sounded angry for a second there! "I just need at least 300 G's to defeat it…"

"Pick me! Pick me!" Preyus shrieked, sitting in his hand. "Pick your good old friend Preyus! Pick me! You know you want to!"

"I'll pick....."

"Pick the one that's sitting right there in your hand!" With his other hand, Marucho started to lean forward, about to grab him… "Yeah, that's right, go real slow! No! Go faster! Hurry up! Choose me already!"

"I'll choose Preyus!" He FINALLY decided!

"Phew! I was thinkin' you weren't gonna use me there for a second! Alright! Just stand back and watch the magic!"

"Prepare yourselves for battle! Bakugan Brawl!" He loaded the marble into his thingamabobber and launched it out. It didn't look extremely cool, but we'll manage! "Preyus, stand!"

And stand he did. Not only did he stand, but he leaped out of a vortex of water and landed perfectly on his feet! He kind of looked like a marine Power Ranger with an all-black helmet and a blue-and-purple motif. Wait, he didn't look like a Power Ranger at all. "Preyus has arrived! That's your cue to cower in fear!"

"…Wow. Just…wow." Dan stared up at him.

"He's got just about all the things that technically make things cool! All he's missing are Eva fins!" Marucho cried.

"I know, but…something about all those cool things working together makes me feel oddly repulsed."

Preyus laughed maniacally. "Get ready kitties, because this big dog is comin' for ya!" His frilly fins came up!

Dan gasped. "Eva fins…!"

"Maybe you're right," Marucho said, frowning.

"Heh heh! Nice CLOWN ya got there," Ten said tauntingly. "Is he one of those KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE?'

"I sure hope so!" Dan shouted back. "Because those clowns were totally badass!"

"Attribute, comin' up!" Ten said, making a peace sign.

"Right!" Preyus made a peace sign, too. "I love joinin' in with the ladies! But before we get really intimate I hope you don't if I go CHANGE…" He started glowing! Everyone looked away! When the glowing stopped, he had become a ghastly orange! "…into something more comfortable."

"He's even more repulsive than before!" Jen sounded appalled!

"But he changed his attribute to Terry!" Marucho said. "And I read his effect before battle to more properly calculate exactly what kinds of strategies I can employ with him on my side."

"IMPOSSIBLE!!" Dan screeched.

"IT'S NOT UNHEARD OF, ****IT!!" Drago replied, speaking for once this episode. "IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! WHAT, NEXT YOU'RE GONNA SAY IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EVEN EXIST!? But…to be fair, this is the first time I've ever seen it happen. It's what the Preyus…es…are known for."

"Phew! That feels better…much better…" Preyus got comfortable in his new color scheme. "What say my next move is with you, my lovely ladies? Eh? Eh?"

"I know nothing about this stuff and yet I'm disgusted!" Jen said, backing away.

"Told you, Marucho!"

"No, I hypothesize that they're just cross dressers now."

"Oh. Hey, you might be right on that one."

"This clown may well be a Killer Klown from Outer Space!" Ten was really scared now!

The entire field turned earth-y just for the two brawlers! "POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 440 AND 450 G'S," their BakuGantlets stated.

Preyus started running, slow at first, but quickly picked up speed! "Hiiii…yah!" He brought his two fists down on Terry HeadTerror, instantly obliterating him!

The marble rolled back to Ten's feet, leaving him/her speechless. "Uh…I…"

"Thanks, ladies!" Preyus declared, blowing a kiss. "I'd love to stay and chat, but that'll have to wait until we next meet! Best wishes!" He turned back into the blue marble he always was and was sucked back into Marucho's hand.

"Thanks, Preyus!" he said. "That worked a bit better – and a bit worse – than I had expected!"

"Hey, don't mention it…except to everyone you know! HA!! Gets me every time!"

"Boys, your fun time is about to be over!" Jen said.

"Yeah, well…you're not GETTIN' any fun time!" Dan retorted.

They stared deep into each others' eyes, and Dan gradually realized, My GOD…he IS a cross dresser!

A real CREEP shows up on the next Bakugan Battle Brawlers, but first me and Marucho have to defeat the Super Sing Sound Extravaganza, and every time I say that some of my manliness dies. Hey, this is Dan, and even I'm scared by the revelation to come! Who would've guessed their true identities? It nearly sent me packin'! Then Drago kinda sorta explains how all the Bakugan showed up! I've gotta tell ya, it's pretty ridiculous!

Meanwhile, Marucho sits depressed outside, and there's also a rainbow. A stranger walks over to him and holds out his hand…and turns out to be Preyus holding an umbrella! Then it starts raining.

This is Marucho saying…Bakugan Brawl! We'll see you there!

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!