Chibiyu: Yes I killed Johnny. No yelling at me for it ok?

Nick: …Her cat died…so she takes it out with killing someone?

Chibiyu: …not my best method I'll admit, but I liked this idea and had it before…before we found out he had cancer and a month to live.

ALL THE BOLD IN THIS CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK!

DON'T OWN IT SO DON'T SUE ME PLEASE!

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()KEVIN'S POV

"Oh my…"

The paper dropped to the floor, the words flashing like neon lights. The names and ages being blurred together until only one existed.

Jonathon Meyer, 1993-2010

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

NICK'S POV

"You hear that Carter?" Johnny asked me, hand over my shoulder, gesturing to the house that pounded with music and laughs. "White's party's are always a scream, but you know White, no alcohol or anything so nothing bad ever happens." Why was he saying this? I wasn't afraid…maybe he was. No, Johnny was never afraid…well, rarely ever.

He pushed open the door and steered me through, Sander right behind us.

"Now it's a party!" Franz yelled, running over to us, smiling at Johnny and me.

"Hey dude, how'd you convince your folks?" Johnny asked as I took in the flashing lights, the loud music and teens gone wild.

"I didn't. They're out of town." He answered smartly before running off to make out with his girlfriend.

Johnny looked at him amused. "You know Nick; I've always wondered why his parents named him Franz. I thought that was a girl's name." Leave it to Johnny to be completely off subject.

"Johnny?" I called, tugging on his sleeve and he looked down to me as I pointed out the window. He swore loudly.

"FRANZ!" He called, said boy looking up and everything seemed to stop instantly, the music dying and no one moving s we all watched the tall figure get out of the car and storm into the house. "Shit." Johnny forced me behind him and tried to block me from the figure's sight. But no one was invisible to Franz's older brother Billy.

He entered the room, his seven foot tall frame making everyone cower. His tiny bug eyes darted all around, his shadow of a beard making the effect more menacing. His eyes landed on me and his crooked jaw tilted into a smile. I hated Billy. He used to be my brother's drinking buddy. Only him and Johnny knew more then they should. But he knew it because he helped cause it. Jonny helped prevent it.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

JOHNNY'S POV

"We-ell…Franzy…" He whispered his voice too high pitched to be a 23 year old. "I see you havin a party and I ain't invited…" He sneered, his little brother cowering and shaking as he pushed his girl friend into a closet for safety. "But you invite Carter so I guess he can take your punishment…like the other times…"

Franz's mouth dropped as he processed his brother's words, his eyes going to Nick in shock.

"That's right Franzy…all those time where you did wrong…I took it out on little Nick with his brother…he saved you a few bruises Franz…" His brother kept talking and I felt Nick shivering and tensing with each word as all the eyes fell on him. I reached back and squeezed his arm but he didn't react. This had gone on for too long.

Billy advanced to Nick and tried to push me out of the way but I refused to budge.

"Johnny…don't." He whispered but yeah right, like I was gonna allow him to get hurt again by this ass.

"Yeah Johnny…listen to the trash behind y-" His never finished his sentence. But that wasn't because of his lack of brain power. No it was because my fist had landed right on his nose and shattered it into oblivion. The whole room was a new level of silent. No one moved, no one breathed and no one dared speak. "You shoulb not hab bone tat." Billy incoherently threatened and he clapped his hands loudly.

People piled out of his car and out of the shadows, ready for their own 'party' and they each looked either drunk, high, or just bored. I turned and all but threw Nick to the nearest window, the one everyone was now running out of.

"RUN CARTER!" I yelled, ordering him but he stayed, looking at me in shock as Billy's goons advanced. "NICK RUN!" I held his terrified gaze. He knew how this would end. "NICK I'M SORRY BUT PLEASE!" I begged him and he slowly nodded, taking one step back, tears falling unnoticed from his too wide eyes. "Go…" I pleaded and he was gone, just before a fist collided with my head.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

NICK'S POV

It was all my fault…Why couldn't it have been me? I've taken it before…

Johnny…oh god…

I heard someone banging on my door but I didn't care. No one could get in.

I ran and ran, others screaming and panicking around me. I didn't have a phone; I couldn't call the police like I was Franz White and Sam Sander doing. All I could do was run in blind fear as I tried not to think about Johnny's fate. But it was inevitable. Anyone who crossed Billy ended up…oh god…Johnny…

I can't lose you too…you're all I have left…

"Carter!" Sander yelled and I stopped when I felt his hand grasp my wrist. "Where's Johnny?" I only had to look at him and he understood, his eyes widening and he instantly bolted back to his house, but he was held back by his friends. And I heard their laughter as they…as they…oh god…as they killed my best friend. "Run Carter!" Franz yelled as he as saw some figures emerging from the house. But I didn't want to. "Johnny told you to run! Damn it, listen to him for once!"

That did it and I was running again. Tripping, stumbling, scraping my hands and knuckles, but I didn't feel anything. I only felt the fear and diamond shattering ache of the knowledge. My best friend…the only person that I knew I could trust…was gone.

I threw open the door of my orphanage, not even realizing how far I had gotten until now and I collapsed, leaning against the door. And right then and there, I became aware that I was crying.

"Nicholas!" Sister Tess ran over to me and dropped down besides me. "What happened?"

I shook my head, pointing to a pencil and paper on the desk, not trusting my own voice right now. She handed it to me without a word and I scribbled everything down unto it, knowing it was not only for her but for when the police came too. Because there was no way I was ever talking again.

I dropped both of the supplies after writing everything and circling the final statement; CALL POLICE, and I ran upstairs and slammed my room door. I heard footsteps outsides and knock instantly, but no. No one could see me like this. I don't want to see anyone! I need to be alone!

I pushed my dresser in front of the door but that wasn't enough, it could still tip. So I turned my bed horizontally and pushed it up against that as well. And then I collapsed in the dusty corner where my bed used to be, grabbed my sister's old teddy bear and drew my knees to my chest, the bear jammed between. I hugged my knees and then let everything loose.

Johnny…

"Nicholas, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Sister Tess ordered but I barley heard her. I barely heard the numerous fails of them trying to move the barricade against my door. All I could hear was his name, being repeated over and over and the scene getting replayed over and over. And I even saw how he died, or at least, how Billy normally killed all of his victims.

I saw, in my minds eyes, Johnny getting mercilessly beaten, him doubling over and clutching his stomach after a kick, giving perfect access to his head. I saw them kick his head and I saw him go down. I heard Billy ridiculing Johnny, like he used to me and I heard him insult me a few times as well. Johnny still defended. I saw Billy pick up Johnny with one hand and look him squarely in the eye. I heard him whisper his signature phrase I myself have heard.

"You're going to die now." I heard the thud as my almost brother fell to the ground and I heard them laugh as one of Billy's friends grabbed him and forced him to his knees. I saw Billy grin coldly down and I saw Johnny look defiantly up at him. And I knew, even though I hadn't been there, what Johnny's lasts words should have been.

"Carter ain't trash like you. At least he has a heart." He had always said that to Billy when he…after it happened before.

And I could see the anger flare up in Billy's eyes, a thousand times worse than a swarm of hornets as his hands instantly were around Johnny's neck. I flinched when I heard the snapping and more tears burst from my eyes as I saw Johnny go down.

Even though I hadn't been there to see or hear it, I knew that was what happened. Billy only fought and killed one way…a way I've seen and endured…but with Johnny…

"Nick?" A new voice was calling through the door. Red. Yeah, like I was going to let her in. "Nick please don't shut yourself out…"

I didn't. I shut myself in.

I hugged my knees tighter, feeling Mr. Teddy-Pants's nose digging into my arm but I didn't care. I couldn't feel physical pain right now. It was all the heart break of losing him. I couldn't feel the hot tears sliding down and burning my too red cheeks. I couldn't feel the sting of my blood shot eyes and I definitely couldn't feel the violent shaking of my limbs. I could only feel, only acknowledge the fact that my heart was better off without beating. That I was better off with not living.

But Johnny didn't want that. That's why he wanted me to run. That's why he let them murder him…he did it for me…

This is all my fault! This isn't fair! He never did anything…it should have been me…Johnny…why did you leave me alone? You knew you were the only person I trusted, the only person that was like family to me…and yet you still had to die! I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU JOHNNY TO NEVER LEAVE ME! AND WHY DID YOU DO?

Sobs shook my shoulders and I felt the level of wetness on my shirt and pants, but I didn't care. I didn't care for the coldness I just now felt either. The icy wasteland of my heart was much colder than the chill of the room.

Why Johnny? Why did you have to be so stupid? I could have taken it! But no, you had to be the best fucking person in the room and take it yourself. You had to be my best friend and you had to leave me. And I hate you for that…

No…

I don't.

I could never hate you Johnny…You sacrificed yourself for me, knowing full well one of us would have died…and you chose yourself…Thank you…but why?

I don't want to be alone.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

SISTER TESS'S POV

"No sir," I repeated yet again to the police man. "He can not see you and will not talk to you. But he wrote every little detail down last night." I shoved the notebook filled with ten pages of Nick's writing into the officer's chest before shoving him out the door.

I ran back upstairs, thankful the other Sister's took the other kids out again. I met Mrs. Lucas and her two sons at Nick's door. Joe and Kevin just starred at it, looking like they were trying to move it with their minds. Sandy had already told me how her husband was at home with their other son.

"Please, Nick, open the door." She begged, trying again to make the thin piece of wood move.

"It's no use hun." I told her, laying my hand on her shoulder, taking off my head mantel, letting my hair fall out in a pony tail. "He'll have pushed his dresser and bed against the door." I sighed. "When he's ready, he will let one person in…I hope." I led the distraught woman down the stairs, leaving her two boys. I knew they would keep trying, but I also knew Nick would hate them because right now, any older brother or man would remind him of Billy.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

NICK'S POV

Everything hurt. My heart ached and wished for reprieved after every beat I forced it to take. My eyes stung from the constant rain as they wished for sun. Every breath sent a spark of fire to my lungs but I did not try and quench the flames.

Johnny was dead because of me…

My hands found my hair and I grabbed it tightly. It should have hurt but I couldn't feel anything anymore. All if felt was cold. All I felt was empty. All I felt was loss.

He was gone…

Forever.

And it was my fault.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

JOE'S POV

I pushed against the door, having no real hope of it opening, but if Nick could push those things in front of his door, Kevin and I could push them away…right? I looked to my brother, who made no attempt to help me.

"Kevin, come on!" But he shook his head.

"Joe, leave him alone. He just lost his best friend." Kevin whispered his eyes filled with sorrow. But he didn't get it.

"Kevin!" He jumped at the edge in my voice. "If Frankie or I died, what would you be thinking? Would you really want to be alone?" I asked, not losing the edge at all.

Kevin's eyes widened and he was by my side, pushing as well. The door moved a little distance, and more, and more. And soon, I was able to slip through, panting a bit as I told Kevin to wait.

Nick had indeed pushed both his bed and dresser against the door…good call Sister. I looked around, not seeing him at first. The guitar was dusty and a baseball was rolled next to it…Johnny's baseball. I looked to the corner where his bed should have been and I saw the poor teen huddled with his back to it, knees tight to chest, a…teddy bear arm sticking out from under his arm and his hands painfully gripped in his hair. His shoulders shook with silent sobs and I doubted he knew I was here. I slowly walked over to him, trying not to sneeze from the dust I was kicking up.

I sat down next to him and hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder, like I had seen Johnny do. Nick jumped about a foot in the air and shied away form my touch, sobbing harder but he didn't even look at me. And I didn't let go. I ignored how he was trying to get away from my touch and I pulled him, very gently, back over to my side. And I hugged him. He stiffened, his breathing coming in terrified bursts, but he still hadn't lifted his head to see it was me and not Billy.

"Nick…it's ok…it's only me." I whispered but I think that made it worse. He started struggling to get away, but I didn't let him. "Calm down!" I ordered, a bit sharper than I wanted to and he stopped instantly, his shaking the only movement he made.

"Hey Joe?" Kevin called from the door and I looked up to see his head poking through. "They found a note Johnny left…he wanted Nick to have everything…including this…" Kevin held out a guitar and I noticed Nick looking at Kevin.

But when he saw the guitar, he howled and buried his head again, and I had no hope of it ever coming back up.

()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()

Chibiyu: Wrote this all in thirty minutes. Until Next Update!