"I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut"
Cut ~Plumb
Throughout all his screams and cursing Odin's name until his throat felt raw, Loki remained ignored. His neighbouring prisoners began to stare as the prince's mouth would stretch in a soundless scream, but the childish tantrum quickly bored them. One returned to his nap, another to counting specks of granite on the floor. The criminals' interest wasn't peaked until the fallen god charged at the mystical barrier and threw himself shoulder first against the invisible wall. Loki knew his action was foolish, but his blood was boiling, frying his mortal brain and leading him to believe that if he tried hard enough, he could magically escape.
He immediately regretted his chosen form of stress relief. Loki swore he heard something pop when his shoulder smacked the wall, followed by a crack as he hit the ground with a hard thud. He rolled onto his side and grabbed his aching right arm. There was no moving it. Loki was sure his shoulder was dislocated. He scowled and drew in a sharp breath as he forced himself to stand. At least the pain proved to be a decent distraction from his entrapment. Loki contemplated having another go at the wall. He hoped that by going headfirst, his skull would crack and he would bleed out. Anything was better than being stuck at square one… Loki felt that he had made so much progress, too. Right when he was about to become close with Agent Romanoff and earn her approval, he was snatched away. He doubted that he would ever see her again. She was sure to forget him in no time at all, anyways.
Loki shuffled towards his freshly-made bed and slowly lowered himself onto his side. It was back to the beginning again. Some things never changed.
"I told you," Natasha huffed, "Frigga came and took him. She mentioned Odin needing to see him."
"You think Thor's gonna come back?" Tony wondered as he stood beside Nick Fury's desk.
"Does he have business here?" Nick asked
"Loki was his business," Natasha stated, folding her arms. She took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. "And Loki didn't seem to mean any harm."
"He was made mortal," Bruce chimed in.
"Yeah, Romanoff nearly killed him," Tony snickered.
Natasha ran a hand through her hair, then began drumming her fingers against the arms of the chair. Somehow, 'I'd like to speak with Fury alone about this' turned into the science duo demanding where Loki went and trailing after her until she explained that he 'disappeared.'
One quick glance at Natasha was enough to tell Fury that she needed some peace. The narrowed eyes, the sudden twitch of her lip as her fingernails began clawing at the chairs upholstery-it told him that he needed to boot out two of his guests before Natasha did it for him. Fury rose from his chair and clasped his hands behind his back. "Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner," he began, "I'd like a word with Agent Romanoff alone."
"Yes, sir!" Bruce quickly nodded before turning on his heel.
Tony followed his companion towards the door. "You think she snapped and killed Loki?" he whispered on the way out.
Natasha mentally rolled her eyes at the comment and waited until the door clicked shut. "Like I said before, there was some sort of magic, and Loki was gone."
Nick took a seat in the chair beside hers and focused on his employee. "If he's gone to Asgard, there's nothing we can do about that. You already know that," he answered. "So why did you come to me?"
"We're on even ground, Nick." Natasha kept her eyes on her hand as she curled her fingers. "You know my secrets, and I know yours."
Their last discussion that began like this was just after the battle of New York. Natasha had slipped into his office and that was the first time in a long time that she came to him with her guard down.
"He got into Barton's head. Why does it feel like he's been inside mine?"
"You're stronger than this, Romanoff." Those were the same exact words Nick had said to her before.
Natasha shook her head, eyes absently staring straight ahead. "He's been unmade," she said in a low voice. "He told me about him-about what happened… I know he's not lying, either."
Fury kept a careful eye on her as she spoke.
"He wants redemption and he thinks I'm the one who can teach him how to get it. Am I the person you want that advice from?" She turned her gaze towards her boss.
"You were high up on my list of offenders," Fury reminded her with a chuckle. "Now you're someone I would take a bullet for."
Natasha paused to let the compliment sink in. Would there come a day when she would take a bullet for Loki, given that he ever returned? "I don't trust him," she said after a moment. "But I know he wants to change."
"You think he'll turn on us?"
Natasha idly chewed her lower lip. "No." He was in pain-Natasha had been there before. All Loki needed was a nudge towards the good guys. "If anything, I can get another god on the team," she said with a laugh.
"I'm not ready to let that happen," Fury remarked.
"Not even if I start to trust him?" she raised a brow. "Wasn't I just as bad as him?"
"You didn't inflict millions of dollars in damage and try to subjugate a city." He cracked a smile, making Natasha chuckle.
"I'll keep him in line whenever he comes back," Natasha promised. "Just leave him to me and he won't get into any trouble." She got up, feeling ready to get some work done.
"Was that all?" Nick, too, rose from his chair.
"Yeah," she nodded. "That was it."
Natasha began to walk away, but Nick opened his mouth, making her stop. "Don't let him get to you," he warned. "I know you're tough, and that makes it harder to see you upset… Natasha."
She opened the office door and gave her boss a brief nod. "I've got this. But thank you," she added with a sincere smile before leaving.
"Do you always do stupid things like this?" Natasha hovered over Loki, her fingers tracing over his right shoulder.
Loki shifted, hoping to see her face, but the aching in his arm forced him to keep still. "I was angry," he sourly answered. "Odin refuses to acknowledge our marriage."
"Is that why you lashed out on him?" Natasha asked.
"He instigated it," Loki insisted.
"You tried hurling books at him," Natasha reminded him, rolling her eyes. "Look at how that backfired…" She gingerly poked a tender spot at the edge of his shoulder bone.
Loki sharply drew in a breath of air and squeezed his eyes shut. "You should feel honoured that I was fighting for you!"
"Mm," Natasha hummed. "I guess so…" She brought her lips close to his ear. "But what's keeping us from getting married right now?" she playfully wondered. "Why do you need daddy's blessing?"
Loki grinned as the pain began to ease away.
"Loki?"
"Yes, Na-" His eyes fluttered open as he was snapped out of his pleasant dream.
"Loki," Frigga hesitated, "please let me explain…"
Loki sat up, feeling the effects of his mother's healing magic ebb away. He rolled his shoulder, grateful that the pain was now gone. If only his accident had been brought about over Odin denying his marriage…The truth flooded back into Loki's brain, bringing the anger along with it. "He doesn't trust me!" he growled. "He never did! My powers were taken from me out of spite!" he shouted.
"Loki, calm down!" Frigga urged, waving her hands in front of her. "That happened before our guest came."
The man's lips flared up as he wrinkled his nose. "Is that what he wants you to say?! Because I am finding this very hard to believe!"
Frigga reached out to touch his arm, but he strayed away. "Oh, Loki, please trust me, if only for one moment," she pleaded. He turned his back to her, but with nowhere to go, Frigga knew he was listening. "That man is a stranger to your Father and I, unless you know him?" Her question was met with more silence. "He speaks lies. Whoever this man is, he is unaware that I am gifted with the prophecy, and Ragnarok is not upon us."
Loki cautiously turned around, wary of the goddess' words. "Then why does Odin seem to trust him? Why am I back in a cage?" he spat.
"He wants something, Loki," Frigga admonished. "Possibly something from you."
"I've never seen that man in my life!"
"Tell me…" She rubbed her hands together and hesitated from meting her son's gaze. "After you…" There was no safe way of phrasing it. "Before Midgard…" Frigga had barely gotten a coherent statement from Loki on the matter no matter how hard she tried.
"The abyss," Loki clarified.
"I'm sorry. But you told me you saw things… Met strangers…"
Loki swore he felt clammy fingers graze his cheek, a touch he recognised from one called the 'Other.' He shook his head, erasing the eerie feeling of ghostly fingers. "He was not one of them…"
"Did 'he' know this man, then?" Frigga prodded. "We can't be too sure…"
Loki had been given power, an army… He wouldn't doubt it if the Other had friends in higher places. Friends who were unafraid to track him down. Loki had lied, after all. Failing to conquer Midgard put Loki in a bad place. His mistake was going to cost him his life, but that seemed like a small price to pay. He thought about it, willingly sacrificing himself to Asgard's newcomer, but what would become of Midgard? Would the Other come to destroy it? Natasha's team struggled in taking down the Chitauri. They weren't likely to succeed if such an attack were to happen again.
"Loki?" Frigga could see that he was deep in thought, but silence wasn't going to help them.
"I suppose my life is at stake," he calmly assumed. "Given that this man knows of my crimes, then he is after my life… Midgard may be in danger as well."
"Then I am here to help," she promised with a growing smile. "Quickly now." Frigga began motioning him towards her.
Curious, Loki obeyed. "Are we returning to Midgard?"
"You are," Frigga promised.
"Does Odin know you are doing this?"
"He is going to need this cell for a man brave enough to lie to the All-Father."
Loki raised a brow as Frigga held his hands. "You plan to lock him up? Why wasn't this done sooner?" he inquired. "Was it necessary to bring me back here in the first place?"
Frigga gave his hands a gentle squeeze and looked down.
"Odin believes this man, doesn't he?"
"I don't believe a word the man says," the goddess quickly answered. "That is what matters most."
"Why? Why does Odin not trust me after telling me that he did?!"
"Ragnarok is a grave concern," Frigga noted. "Odin fears that he may be seeing something that I cannot."
"Is that possible?"
"It is very unlikely. The other prophecies have had no visions of Ragnarok. I will not allow for you to be made a victim, Loki. Your Father and I will find out what this man wants and handle the matter ourselves."
Loki's fingers twitched under her strong grasp. "What if he speaks the truth?"
"He doesn't!" Frigga snapped, looking her boy in the eyes. "I've seen what the future holds for you, Loki," she hinted with a grin.
Loki recalled his dreams with Natasha-the proposal, him calling her his wife, standing beside her before a sunset… "If it is anything like I have been imagining, then I believe you." He suddenly felt a warmth flow through his blood, from his hands to his arms, then through the rest of his body. "Your magic," he breathed.
"This should help you on Midgard until your Father grants you your powers back," Frigga assured him. She stepped back and began reciting a spell that surrounded the trickster in a golden light. "We will settle things here, Loki. Promised me you will behave."
Loki's body felt light as a feather. He watched as his Mother vanished from the cell's interior to the outer wall.
"'You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.'"
Funny, those words sounded familiar. Had he ever heard them before? His legs began to disappear and he took one last look at Frigga before he was sent away. Only Frigga wasn't alone. He opened his mouth to scream as the man with white hair and dark eyes appeared behind her. "Mo-" He shut his eyes as he heard something shatter. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the outer wall of his cage had been destroyed. He then saw the newcomer, a crooked grin across his lips as he looked from Loki, to the ground. Loki followed his gaze and the last thing he saw before he vanished completely was a pool of dark crimson with Frigga sprawled in the center.
Natasha felt her phone's vibrations across her desk and she grabbed it the second before her ringtone went off. Bruce's name was flashing across the screen and she was ninety percent sure that the call would be about Loki.
"Can you come over here?"
She had been right.
Except Natasha wasn't prepared to arrive at Stark's grand penthouse to learn that Loki had locked himself in Bruce's bathroom.
"I heard a crash," the doctor explained as he shut off the stove. A teapot's whistling began to fade as Bruce removed it from the stovetop and Natasha swore she heard coughing down the hall. "Jarvis told me Loki was back," Bruce continued to explain as he began pouring steaming water into three separate mugs. "He was in the common room and wasn't looking too good. Vomited on the elevator up here," he added.
"Frigga wasn't with him?" Natasha took a seat at the bar overlooking the kitchen's sink.
Bruce quickly pressed a finger to his lips and glanced over to the hallway. "No," he finally answered, dipping teabags into the mugs. "Something happened," he quietly continued. "The look in his eyes when I asked about her…"
"Loki!" Bruce helped lift the man's body off the floor, but he refused to budge. "Loki, are you hurt?" He knelt to be at his level and worried about the trickster's sickly white palour. "How about we go upstairs?" Bruce calmly suggested.
Loki's breathing was shallow as he refused to acknowledge the doctor's presence.
"Loki?... Isn't Frigga with you? Or Th-" Bruce suddenly found himself staring straight into Loki's wide, frightened eyes. The former god's breathing stopped as his body began to tremble. "How about we go upstairs?" Bruce repeated, reaching for Loki's arm.
"He's in shock," Bruce concluded. "Something must've happened to her."
Natasha listened for any signs of Loki in the background. Nothing. "Do you think she's dead?" she whispered, accepting a mug of tea from the doctor.
Bruce shook his head as he placed his hands on the countertop. "He wouldn't say. I didn't bother asking again, either. He doesn't look well."
"You think he'll talk to me?"
Bruce managed a small smile. "You're good with getting people to talk… Think you can give it a try?" he asked. "Just… go easy on him."
Natasha took a sip of tea and the two heard a door creak open. Stilted footsteps followed the sound and Natasha turned her head when Loki drew near. The redness of his eyes made his pale skin look even more sickly. Beads of sweat, or maybe water, possibly both, trickled down the sides of his face.
"Yes," Loki muttered. "Frigga is no more," he finished, his voice hoarse. Loki took a seat beside Natasha and accepted Bruce's offering of tea.
As curious as Natasha was for details, she held back and took another sip from her mug. "I'm sorry."
"Your pity will not revive her," he coldly stated. His fingers tightened around the mug's handle.
"You still wanna talk to me?" Natasha eyed him in her peripheral vision. "We were interrupted before."
Loki took several gulps of his watery tea, letting the water scald his throat on the way down. "I suppose so," he decided. Frigga would have liked that. He slammed his mug down, cracking it in half and making Bruce jump.
"Hey!" Natasha scolded.
Before she could say anything else, Loki had his head resting on her shoulder and his clammy hands reaching for hers. "How?" he sniffed. "How can she expect me to be happy?"
Bruce began to shy away, allowing Loki extra space.
"Sh-she's gone…" He hated how those words sounded on his tongue. "The only one who trusted me. Gone…" How warm Natasha's hands were. Loki nuzzled into her neck, craving her warmth. "She died because of me," he hissed, feeling Natasha's body shudder.
"She loves you." The response felt automated, but it was the first thing to come to Natasha's mind.
"I should be dead." Loki pulled away, his eyes glaring into the redhead's. "I. Should. Be…" Tears formed at the corners of his eyes as Natasha pressed a finger to his lips.
"That's not what she'd want to hear," Natasha stated in a hushed tone. "She died for you." However it happened, Natasha knew that it wasn't in vain. "Out of love." Natasha reflected on her old files, particularly the one describing a house fire that should have killed her. Only her mother had chosen to save her by tossing her out a window and into the arms of a stranger. If not for that action, Natasha wouldn't be alive. "Mothers will do that," she murmured.
Loki saw the uncertainty and brief flash of pain in the woman's eyes. "Help me," he choked as the tears freely spilled. "Help me to move on…"
"I will," she nodded. Rather, she'd try. Natasha never dealt with grief counseling, but Loki badly needed it. Sadness had a funny way of turning into anger, and Loki wasn't someone anyone wanted to see angry. "Let's go talk at my apartment."
Loki left his seat and began to shuffle alongside Natasha towards the door.
"You okay?" She stopped and found Loki staring at his hand while they walked.
"She left me with part of her magic," he murmured. "This is all I have left of her…"
Natasha watched as a tiny whirlwind of golden mist rose from his open palm. Great, he was no longer a normal weakling. But how much power did 'part of her magic' mean? Loki seemed to be in control of himself. For now. "Sounds like she trusts you."
The flare of magic vanished as Loki closed his hand. "Not enough to steal back my own magic from Odin!" he snarled.
There it was. The anger that Natasha dreaded. "We're not gonna talk about that, Loki," Natasha warned. "Come with me. We're going somewhere private to talk this out." She reached for his hand and Loki bared his teeth.
"There is no need." He swatted her hand away. "I will confront Odin with this matter myself!"
"Loki, no!" Natasha lunged at him and hugged his neck. She could've let him go, to disappear where she could never reach him, but not like this. Revenge wasn't the answer, and Loki would once again be viewed as the villain if he came seeking Odin in this state.
"This doesn't concern you!" He jerked his body to the side, but the skilled assassin fought back, locking her legs around his middle.
"It does now that you've asked for my help." Not only that-she promised her boss that she'd look out for him. Loki wasn't going to cause any trouble, even if on a whole other world.
"Tasha!" Bruce hurried over, a pocket knife in hand.
"I've got this!" Natasha shouted. "Just stay calm!" she warned the doctor. Loki starting a fit was more than enough. The Hulk didn't need to be showing up anytime soon.
Loki felt his rage start to boil over. "Unhand me!" He channeled a strong burst of magic and released it from his body in a silent flurry of pure energy.
The blow forced Natasha to release her hold over the trickster and sent her flying back into the nearest wall. The back of her head suffered most of the impact, making her lose consciousness for a second. "Shit!" she hissed after her body fell limply to the floor. Natasha heard a growl, but this one wasn't from Loki. She fought back a wave of dizziness and saw the doctor's blurred form charge at Loki with a blade in hand. "B-Bruce!" She hopped to her feet as the doctor swung the knife. Loki dodged the attack. Rather, he fell sideways after losing his balance.
Bruce and Natasha fell silent as Loki's body remained still for a good thirty seconds. The doctor observed the steady rise and fall of Loki's chest before he got onto his knees for a better look at his face. "I think he's unconscious…"
Natasha crawled over a moved a strand of hair away from Loki's face. "Must be exhausted," she mused, noticing how peaceful the man looked as opposed to when he was trying to kill her.
"Are you hurt?" Bruce finally asked, turning his attention towards the redhead.
"You know I'm fine," Natasha promised with a smirk. "I was more worried about you." She eyed the pocket knife in his hand.
"The other guy never showed up. I'd say that's an accomplishment," he shrugged.
"So what do we do about him?" Natasha got up and felt for the sore spot at the back of her skull.
"We'll leave him here," Bruce decided. "A nap should clear his head."
"Are you speaking from experience?" Natasha teased.
He began to chuckle. "Possibly."
