I own nothing.
Age is a really funny thing. It's not as quiet as people think it is. From the time that we're old enough to understand, people warn us about it. They say that it sneaks up without warning, and to enjoy everything that we can until we have it. Still, not everyone dreaded it. While it was practically a death-sentence to some, to others it was the ticket to freedom, to do whatever they wanted. And then there were the people like me, who never gave it a passing thought.
As I got older, Age was still screaming at me. In shop windows, on the television, it was all still in my face. But it was nothing to be scared of so I kept on ignoring it.
But then Age decided to come over and knock at the door. It knocks at everyone's door, I guess, but it still surprised me.
But just because it knocked didn't mean that I had to answer.
So I guess I went on like that forever. Only I didn't, because one day I lost someone. Age would never have a chance to get him, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. I lost others, too, only for different reasons. Family, it seems, can be long distance.
Who would know that better than me?
The knocking got louder and louder, but I didn't want to answer. Answering would mean losing so many things that I loved. Well, I didn't know for sure, but I was pretty positive that it would.
But the knocking was so loud that I almost couldn't go to sleep at night.
One morning I woke up and the knocking was gone. It was a nice change, to say the least, although as little strange. I was relieved until I came downstairs to find Age sitting on the couch grinning up at me. It had a strangely scary and beautiful smile. It seems that not only had I let Age in, I had let it in ages ago. I just hadn't noticed.
I was right about it, too. Or at least, I was about some of it. I did lose things that I loved. The kids weren't kids anymore, they hadn't been for at least ten years. But there were new kids. It was getting harder and harder for me to keep up with the all-nighters at the bar. But I was thankful that the only ones who seriously were hitting on me were the annoying old friends who I think secretly knew how much I needed it. And then there was my hair. It had a line of gray, like someone had rubbed ash in my hair. I could deal with those developing wrinkles around my mouth and eyes better than I could deal with my hair. That was my greatest tragedy.
People left me. I guess everyone eventually gets left to die alone. But I wasn't that old yet.
At least I hoped that I wasn't.
I guess I sort of got used to Age being around, for better or for worse. It's not like I really had any choice. Sometimes it wasn't so bad. Sometimes it made me so sad that I thought that I would never be able to breathe again. How could it seem like they had been gone for such a long time when it had only been five years, at the most?
And how could it seem as if the ones that had left so long ago left only yesterday?
In my mind it was only yesterday. In my mind I didn't have that stupid grey in my hair and my fingers never ached.
In my mind he was standing there with his hands on his hips, towering over me with his electric eyes and bright smile. How could a face like that ever get old? It wasn't possible, but I still wished that I had been there to see it happen.
Wherever 'there' was.
"You look good."
And when I spun around I saw Age standing there looking down at me with a towering grace and a mischievous grin.
Was it me or my age that kept the words stuck in my throat for so long? "I…It's been a long time." And it really, really has been.
With a sad chuckle and a shrug, he sighed. "Yeah, it has. Too long." And for the first time in my life I was brave enough to stand there and study this Age. I almost was too scared to. But he was the same. He looked even taller, if that was even possible, and his shoulders were just as broad. His hands were starting to wrinkle with age, but they were just as big as they had always been. His hair had just a little more grey than mine, although it was spread out more evenly than mine was. And his eyes. They were the same electric blue that they had always been, even with the smile lines that were now very noticeable. They suited him.
Age suited him.
"I missed you."
"You have grey hair." I said it not because it was so strange, but more because I was relieved about it. Somehow I guess I had prepared myself for him to walk through that door and look like he was still twenty four.
He cracked a lopsided grin. "So do you."
I screwed my eyes shut and nodded. "Yeah, I hate it." I laughed nervously. Maybe I shouldn't have closed my eyes. Maybe he'd be gone when I opened them.
But he pulled me into the fiercest bear hug that I had felt since he had left. And with my eyes shut like that Age wasn't there, and I was twenty three and holding onto the man that I loved more than the whole world. I wish that I had told him before he left.
"I love you." The words came out in a jumble, as if it was the first time that that had occurred to me. But I had to say it, before anything else in the world. Age had taught me to be impatient.
He breathed in deeply, his face buried in my ugly hair. "I love you too." I hadn't needed to hear it back, but I was glad that I did.
"I'm so glad," He continued slowly. "That I came home."
I opened my eyes to find that he wasn't Age like I had thought he was. I was Age, it was me. But then he ran a hand through my hair and cupped my cheek and it seemed to me that that was wrong, too. I wasn't Age, either. But Age was still there, wasn't he? Of course he was.
Age was outside, outside of the house, outside of the bar, and outside of his arms. Age was just a visitor, I guess. A very long-term visitor, but still just a visitor. His hands, his skin, and his smile were what were the permanent residents.
And of course his eyes. Those, I think, could never die.
.x.
I capitalized Age for a reason in this. I think age can be a person, sort of. It can be represented in your friends, your family, and everywhere, if you let it. In a sense it could follow you. My purpose for this is not to make Tifa look like a vain woman who's scared of growing old, but more of a woman who's scared that she'll never be able to do what she should've done, even if she doesn't realize it. I love reading about older characters, especially when it's something like this. I always love thinking of what people will be like when they're older.
For some reason, the main inspiration for this song came to me while listening to "Sure as Hell" by This Providence. It's short, but it's such a good song. I must've played it over a thousand times while writing this. X)
Oh, and btw, both Tifa and Zack are somewhere in their early to mid fifties in this. Sorry if I made it unclear.
ALSO The titles have been changed! They are now in english, but different from the originals. Same stuff though. :)
Please Review. Thanks! :)
