I returned to Joe's house late the next day. Their faces told me that they had slept little in the last 24 hours. The children were at the neighbors, leaving the house eerily quiet. I had the chance to step one foot in the living room before they engulfed me in their arms. Carol sobbed quietly while Joe held me so tight that I could barely breathe. Anna stood by the window, her face a picture of regret and sorrow.

More than anything, I wanted to sink into their arms, allow them to hold me up and carry me to a place where the pain would become smaller and smaller until it was only a pinprick of numbness. But I couldn't let that happen. I needed the pain, the rawness, the open wound that would to keep me tethered to Anna—both her memory and her spirit. I was afraid that the moment I let myself believe that everything would be all right, she would disappear. And I wasn't about to let that happen.

Taking a step back out of their embrace, I steeled myself for the questions I knew would come. Where had I been? Was I okay? Had I contacted my family? What did I want to do for the funeral arrangements?

At the mention of the word 'funeral', my legs went out from under me, quickly followed by my breath. I crumbled to the floor. Anna appeared beside me and I held out my hand to try and ward off the help I knew that Joe and Carol wanted to give. I pulled myself together and slowly rose back to my feet, supported by Anna. Unable to speak, I slowly shook my head, keeping my eyes on the floor.

'We'll take care of it Dom. Go rest.' Joe hesitantly reached out his hand and squeezed my shoulder.

Shaking free from his grasp, I slowly moved to the apartment, noticing that there were no more traces of blood on the floor. The stairs were clean as well and the couch was missing its cushion. Unable to lie in the bed that Anna had laid in with me, I positioned myself on the living room floor. Anna took a blanket and covered me, then took me in her arms once again while I drifted into a world where the limits of life and death did not apply.

--

Joe informed my family and Anna's family as to what had happened. Her parents wanted the bodies to be returned to Michigan to be buried near them. I didn't argue—they deserved to have some small amount of closure. They were kind enough to keep the name that I gave the child and buried her and Anna together.

My mother begged me to return home, but I couldn't bear to go back to the beginning. Instead, I turned into myself. I became a living ghost, haunting school, work and the house. I ate bowls of bitterness for breakfast, lunch and dinner, washing it down with heaping amounts of Jack Daniels.

True to her word, Anna wouldn't leave my side. She stayed close to me no matter where I went, all the while trying to keep me from slowly destroying myself. Most of our conversations would end with both of us breaking into sobs while I fell into fitful states of sleep.

For the first 2 months, Joe and Carol believed that I needed the time to work through it. They were supportive and got only as close as I would let them, which was about arm's length away. Then came the rounds of psychiatrists and counselors. The walls and floors in the house were thin and both Joe and Carol had caught me talking to Anna. I literally was talking to her, but they, of course, could not see her. With Joe's connections at the hospital, he had a line of people waiting to talk to me. Unfortunately for them, I was not talking. I would literally sit silently hour after hour in different offices while they all tried to work their magic. It will all end in the same way—low whispers to Joe about tranquillizers, shock therapy and other treatments that I knew would not work.

It was at about 4 months after my plunge into the Pacific that the ghosts began to materialize. Every week, sometimes twice a week, they would show up. At work, on the street, at home. They all asked for help--usually nicely, sometimes aggressively. I ignored them all—no matter their cause or reasons. If I wasn't going to help myself, I wasn't going to help a complete stranger whether they were dead or not.

Anna made every attempt to intervene. For months, she would beg along side of them. She would whisper to me when she thought I was asleep, when I was awake and in all states of drunkenness that I found myself on a daily basis. But I wasn't having any of it.

'They need your help Dominic. That's why you were given this gift—to help them. Help them so that they may leave this earth in peace. Dominic….' Anna's voice was tortured.

I knew what I was doing to her. I didn't want to make her feel sad or bad or guilty. It wasn't her fault that things turned out the way they did, but I couldn't find it in me to try. I had truly given up.

'I don't want this gift.' My voice and words were like venom. 'Tell whoever it is that gave it to me to take it back. Take it all. Tell them to take me too!' My voice turned to pleading. 'Please tell them to take me too….'

'Enough Dominic! That's enough!' She screamed so loudly that I was about to shush her before she woke the family--until I remembered that they couldn't hear her. 'You aren't dead. I am dead. Me. Not you so stop acting like you are. Start living again dammit.'

I was stunned. Anna had been mad at me before, but she hadn't ever let loose like this. There were no words left in me to retort.

Her face softened as she pleaded. 'You are slowly killing me Dominic. I know, bad choice of words,' she said, holding up her hands in surrender. 'I cannot watch you do this to yourself any longer. It is tearing me up inside. There is nothing I have done that has made any difference. I am going to leave you for a while so that you can have a chance to think a little more clearly.' With those words, she began to shimmer and fade.

'Don't leave me,' I cried. 'I can't do this without you. Please stay Anna.'

Her sad smile told me that she wasn't going to. 'I am not leaving for good. You need some time to think about life without me hanging around.' With that, she disappeared.

'Nooooo!' I cried out to an empty apartment as I crumbled to the floor and fell into a stress-induced sleep.