Yay! I updated again! Now you all shall be plunged into the depths of randomness!!! Please keep all hands, feet, internal organs, and other extraneous body parts inside the vehicle. Enjoy the show, or I will HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU WITH MY EVIL WELL OF ROOT BEER!!!! 3.31.02 - Whew, I found this! It was lost on my hard drive… somewhere… and SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! *cries* It's been kinda hectic, and teachers are PILING on projects… seventh grade sucks. Blech.

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When Chickens Attack – Chapter Seven

If you remember from last time (which you should, because you can just click the back button), Officer Policeman had just transformed into Sailor Booger-Man. Trippy, man.

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Waston peered up at the insane Officer, disgusted. "I can see up your dress," he said.

"That's okay, I've got on my spanky-pants!"

"Oh. My. Goodness. Lord, save me now!"

"They're pink."

Waston gagged. Fairy-butt was running repeatedly into a grave. And that stupid little kid who was not there anymore was now there. Unfortunately, he was traumatized for life and had to run home to Mommy again.

"Let's go!" cried the way too happy officer.

"Fine," replied Waston. "As long as you change out of that stupid outfit."

"Oh, fine," Officer Policeman said dejectedly, and sulked off to the nearest bathroom to go change back into his uniform.

Waston, in the meantime, was exploring around the graveyard when a bright light fell from the sky. Waston, in a fit of panic, thought it was the Great Fairy of Stupidity, but in fact it turned out to be the Author.

"Oh," said Waston. "It's you."

"Well, is there something wrong with me?"

"No." Waston paused, then decided to use this moment to his best advantage. "Look, could you PLEASE get me to be another person's sidekick?" he pleaded. "This Policeman character has been driving me up a wall."

"Nope, sorry, no can do," the Author said. "I wrote in for a sidekick, and they sent you. They won't be too happy about sending another one." She patted the extremely put-out looking Waston and said, "But, if you behave, I can write you into your own little ficlet without the Offi-"

"HI EVERYBODY!!!!" Officer Policeman yelled. The Author sighed. His socks were outside of his shoes and he was wearing one of his badges in his hair. "Hey, Miss Author! Haven't seen you in a while! D'you wanna see my-"

"No," she said, cutting him off. "I have a meeting for the International Alliance for the Civil Rights of the Jeweled Hummingbirds of Djibouti that I must attend. Buh-bye." With a wave, she disappeared, leaving a very sour-looking Waston.

"Stupid…" he said and ran off, leaving a thing behind. (Whee! That sentence made absolutely no sense!)

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"So," said the Officer, "we're off to see the wizard, right?"

The only thing that kept Waston from kicking Mr. Policeman in the shins was the thought of starring in his own fic. He kept his mouth shut.

Fairy-butt, however, did not. "HEY!!! WE MUST FIND MY JERKIN-CLAD ASSISTANT!!! OR ELSE I WILL BE VERY SAD!!! WAA!!!"

Just then, they heard the loud screech of a harassed chicken. Following the sound, they found none other than Link himself with a dead chicken impaled on his sword.

"LINKY-CHAN!" said Fairy-butt, chasing after him.

"AAAH!!!" Link yelled. He tried to run away, but he was being held back by the belt by Waston.

"Why did you slaughter this poor innocent chicken?" Waston asked. "What did it ever do to you, huh punk?"

"It attacked me!" Link said. "I was just wanderin' around, and it jumped out of the well and attacked me! It's rabid, I tell ya!"

"Let the boy go, Waston," said Officer Policeman. "We must continue on our quest to- uh, what were we doing again?"

"Actually, I dunno," Waston told him.

"Alrighty then, we'll just wander around until you remember!"

Waston shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

So they wandered, leaving Fairy-butt buzzing around Link's head.

"Just when I thought I had gotten rid of you…"

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Yay! I updated! *throws a party* Anyway, in other news, I added chapter names to all of the chapters, because they were nameless and in need of a name. Also, if any of you are reading my Red Rose fic, the next chapter should be up by today or tomorrow. And, uh… Happy Easter! *throws another party* Bye!