A/N:This chapter is short, sorry :( My computer caught a virus and I've been at band stuff all week.
Many of you have pointed out that I do not make new paragraphs each time there is a new speaker. It's sorta my style, I think it adds to the confused tone. you know? maybe?
If it really bothers you, lemme know and I'll change it.
Don't own twilight.
BPOV
"Take my hand. Please."
It had been just over a week since Bella had relented and allowed Edward into her life. She could never have imagined the happiness it would bring her. She had never cared about anyone so much in her lifetime as she did Edward, and had never felt better about herself. He was the only thing right in her sad existence. Of course, there was a definite downside. Sometimes it was hard to be around him, especially since she was terrified of accidentally breaking him. Edward never seemed to be afraid of her, and while that made her happier than she could say, it also frightened her. He just rolled his eyes when she distanced herself from him, not fully understanding the danger he was constantly in.
But Bella knew.
At school they were the talk of everyone. The most eligible single male, and the beauty that no guy thought he could interest. An interesting couple, indeed. Mike Newton looked like his head was about to pop off when he first saw Edward holding Bella's hand in the hallway. Just another perk of having Edward around.
Now they were back at the big old tree where Bella had first changed into her "day wolf" for Edward. He had questioned her almost nonstop about her secret since that first day, and Bella had finally promised him she would explain whatever he wanted to know today when they got to the tree. It was just not something Bella found comfortable talking about everywhere. Now, Bella was hanging from the lowest branch, ten feet off the ground. She had leaped easily up, landing with uncanny balance and precision. Edward had given her the awed look he always had when she performed something seemingly impossible with the greatest of ease. She was still waiting for him to run screaming….
"Just jump up and grab my hand," Bella instructed. Edward nodded bravely and tensed to jump. "Wait," Bella stopped him. "Make sure to grab with the hand on the opposite side of your broken rib." Edward nodded again. He had forgotten about that, but of course Bella hadn't. He tensed again and jumped up as high as he could, reaching out with one hand. Bella's hand closed around his wrist, and within seconds she had hoisted them both up to sit upon the big branch. Edward once again gave her the wow look, grinning and keeping his hand locked with hers. Bella smiled back, as she always did. His smile was infectious.
"Do you like it here?" Bella asked him. She knew even if he didn't, he would say he did, but when he nodded it looked genuine. "I like being anywhere with you." He told her. Bella blushed and felt her heart rate speed up. It was these moments that made her feel more like a normal teenage girl, and not like a freak. She squeezed his hand gently and leaned against the trunk of the tree. She closed her eyes and listened intently. Deep within the forest, she could hear the sounds of countless animals and insects, as well as the hum of the wind. It smelled like rain, but it probably wouldn't start raining for at least an hour or two. Much closer, she could hear Edward's breathing and heartbeat, the sound and smell still causing her heart to pound harder than usual.
"So do I get to quiz you now?" Edward asked, startling Bella from her trance. She felt her stomach twist uneasily at the thought of divulging all her inner secrets. Not because she didn't trust him, but because she was afraid of what he would think of her. Still…she had promised. "I suppose," She sighed. Edward looked worried by her unenthusiastic agreement, but Bella smiled reassuringly at him, though inwardly she hoped he wouldn't ask.
"So…" Edward began. He looked unsure of what to ask first. Bella tried to look encouraging, tried to push back the fear from her eyes. Finally he spoke, his voice very soft. "How did you become a werewolf?"
She should have known the most painful question of all would come up first. The rush of memories came flooding back to her suddenly, and though she tried to keep the pain from her face, she must have failed because suddenly Edward was squeezing her hand and apologizing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said over and over. Pull yourself together Bella. Answer the damn question. "I'm ok, Edward." Bella whispered. Edward didn't look convinced, and he kept a tight grip on her hand. Bella struggled to keep her emotions in control, forcing herself to be strong. Slowly, the story formed, and she kept her voice and gaze steady.
"When I was about nine years old, I was living in phoenix with my mom and her boyfriend at the time. He was pretty mean to her. I mean, he never hit her or anything…he just talked down to her a lot. I guess it just made me miserable to see her so unhappy with herself. Anyways, one night she was crying even louder than usual, and I just had to get out of the house. I was walking down the streets, not really paying much attention to where I was going, when out of nowhere I just found myself in this dark, empty alley." Bella laughed humorlessly. "Cliché, I know." Edward didn't smile, just looked at her. "Anyways, I was trying to get back home when someone grabbed me. The rest is hard to remember. I know I tried to get away, but they were much too strong. Then, everything went black…" Bella took a deep, shuddering breath. Edward squeezed her hand supportively. Would he still hold it that way when he knew the rest of the story? Bella hoped so…
"When I woke up, my throat burned like it was being torched. My limbs were jerking around in pain, and I think I phased, but I really couldn't sense anything but the pain. It ripped through me and all I could do was scream and pray for death. It never came, but eventually the pain died down. When I was finally able to stand up, I was surrounded by werewolves." Edward gave her a shocked look, and Bella nodded slowly. "Yes, there are many more of my kind. About three hundred, if I'm not mistaken. But anyways, I guess I'd been attacked by this pack of werewolves who just went around killing and changing people." Bella could feel her fists ball up and her voice grew thick with rage. Even after all these years… "There are very strict rules about changing someone. It's against our laws to change someone who doesn't want to be a werewolf. They took that choice from me. I never wanted to be this…" She gesture at her eyes, which had turned a bright yellow in her passion. "I never wanted any of this…But it was too late. They left me as soon as I woke up, laughed at me. I was a werewolf, and there was nothing I could do about it…" She had to stop then, her whole body was shaking with fury. The hardest part of her story had yet to come. She was so close to changing, the beast within demanding release. Edward was watching her fearfully, she could sense his increased heart rate even in her anger. His eyes were wide with fear as he looked at her. The knowledge that she was scaring him killed her rage as quickly as it had come on. Guilt flooded her senses, and she impulsively pulled away from him.
"I'm sorry." She groaned. You're a Goddamn monster Bella, her mind screamed at her. She buried her head in her hands, unable to face the fear she knew was etched on Edward's face. She hated herself so much. All the happiness she'd felt before was gone now, swallowed up by guilt and hatred. Bella wanted to run away from him, banish herself from tormenting him further.
"Bella, Bella," Edward whispered. But Bella did not acknowledge him. She felt his hand touch her shoulder, and she flinched away. Please don't touch me, she begged silently, but his hand returned to her shoulder. "Bella, sweetheart.." Edward pleaded. Bella was taken aback at his word choice, but still she did not move.
"I hate them too, Bella." Edward said quietly.
Bella sat up, startled. She looked over into Edward's deep green eyes. "What?" She croaked.
"I said I hate them too," Edward repeated. "For what they did to you. But it's not your fault, and despite what you think, you aren't a monster." Bella huffed, shaking her head briskly. "No." Edward said sharply. Bella's eyes widened slightly, surprised. "You are not a monster Bella. You are a beautiful person. It kills me to see you hating yourself over this."
"I--" Bella started, but Edward shook his head again and placed his hand gently against her cheek.
"I wish you could see the you that I see." He told her wistfully. Bella just stared, overwhelmed by this angel that was sitting next to her, touching her softly and looking at her as though she was the source of light in his world. He was stroking her cheek lightly, and Bella closed her eyes, fighting back tears. She could not do as he asked, could not let go of the self hate that she had held onto for so long, but she would try to deserve him, try to be all he though she was. She opened her eyes.
"Edward, I don't know what it is you see in me," Bella murmured. She could sense he was about to argue, but she held up a hand to stop him. Her next words held the power of all honesty. "But I am so glad you're here with me."
His eyes grew soft then, a warm sea of green. He took her in his arms then, held her tight against his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. Even though Bella was stranger than he, she felt safe there in his embrace. She looked up at him again. Sparkling orbs shined down at her, creating a sense of calm deep within her soul. Bella knew those eyes held everything she'd ever hoped to find, and could never deserve.
He was light
and
she was darkness.
"There's more," Bella said into his chest. She winced as he looked at her, not wanting to divulge this secret, perhaps the darkest of all. "Go on." Edward encouraged. Bella sighed, knowing she had to tell him. Already, her eyes were taking on a sad look, as she steeled herself for his reaction.
"Those men, the ones that changed me…" Bella swallowed hard.
"I killed them."
"I killed them all."
Please review. Thanks for reading!!
