Hey everyone, its been a while since I updated so here is the next chapter! Hope you like it!
I'm sorry to all those who think I am too girly with Gale, I am not that good at male perspective but I need Gale to keep the story moving so hopefully its not too bad that you don't want to read it.
I just wanted to say thanks sooooo much to all who reviewed! I have over 50 reviews now and it seriously means a lot to me that you guys are faithfully revewing every chapter! I love you guys!
So thanks for reading and dont forget to review!
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Chapter Seven - Gale.
The day had finally come.
The day we had planned for and agonised over and rethought over and over... was finally here. This was it. This day marked the start of the rebellion. The reaping.
I had been spending a lot of my time before that in the clearing, helping Katniss to lead the rebellion. There was so much that had to be done. But something didn't occur to me untill just before the reaping, something important that I should have realised before then...
I was still eligible for the games.
I was furious that the games had become a semi annual event for so many reasons, but not for the risk of my safety. I didn't even consider that I could be chosen to compete in the games. It couldn't happen, the rebellion needed me.
So while Katniss and Peeta took to the stage as the Districts famous couple, I took my place amoung the oldest of those eligible, awaiting the moment when Effie Trinket would reveal the tributes in that annoying high-pitched voice. I stood, distracting myself by coldly calculating the outcome, anticipating the next move of the rebels.
Darkness surrounded me, shrouded me in a fog of confusion, secrets and burdens that I could no longer bear. I stared up at where Katniss sat, side by side with Peeta, feeling a sense of deja vu at the sight of them together. But this time the situation was different in so many ways.
We had kissed.
Rather, I had kissed her. And it was perfect. She had kissed me back and it was like the light of the sun was finally penetrating the darkness that had been following me around ever since she had volunteered as tribute and I could feel the heat of its light on my skin. But it was even better than that. It was her light, her heat that mixed with mine and pulled me back from the brink of despair.
But she hadn't wanted me to kiss her.
She made no indications that she felt that way for me, we had not talked about anything like that. In fact, she had been talking when I kissed her and I registered the shock that filled her eyes. I had just given in to what I wanted when I had just gotten so frustrated. With her. With myself.
I couldn't tell her that I wanted her because to say it out loud was to condemn myself to a fate that maybe wasnt worse than being a tribute in the games, but still caused pain.
Unrequited love.
I could fight. I could hunt. I could kill.
But those two words sent a flash of dark anger through me that made me want to break something.
I had never considered anyone as more than an aquaintance in my whole life untill I met Katniss. I wasn't oblivious. Some of the girls in our school made it pretty obvious what they thought of me with their whispers and giggles. But then Katniss was there, barrelling through them all with her braid and her fiery eyes. And she was so different, so serious and composed. She didn't see me. But I saw her. And then again in the forest, strong and sure even at her young age. I saw her examining my snares and we started talking and then it was too late for me.
And so far it was consuming me in a madness that I had only read about before. I felt things that I had never thought possible or sane. It was insane. I was constantly angry and frustrated and angry and jealous and angry....
Love was dangerous and stupid and relentless and unrequested and unwanted but it wasn't something you could just shake off. Sure, you could hide it, bury it deep beneath the surface.
But eventually it came out. It was just a question of when.
But she had kissed me back. Her lips had moved against mine, her arms had wrapped around my neck urging me closer and I accepted willingly the closeness that had before been but a craving. Now a nesscesity.
And then she ran away, added a voice in my head smugly and I growled.
So? She had... something to do... It sounded wrong even in my mind.
I had jumped on her and she couldnt stop me so she just waited for the opportunity to take off. Those were the facts and I realised that after what I had done, she maybe even... hated me. I considered that fact with heavy thoughts.
And yet... I had no regrets.
I looked up at the stage and watched her look lovingly into blondys eyes with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I also noticed how she glanced at the spot where I stood, frequently, her look something I couldn't decide upon. Longing or Disgust?
I clenched my fists, wishing beyond hope that I could somehow turn it off, stop the flow of this maddening river right at the source of the pain. But I couldn't just walk away.
Not from her.
As usual the mayor stepped up to talk about the games. As he did, he glanced into the crowd and smiled discreetly. I followed his gaze to see Madge smiling up at him. And when he turned away, she looked to the ground, guilt and fear emanating from her very gaze. No doubt feeling afraid about the plan, about not telling her father whom it was clear that she loved very much. But that could not be helped at this point.
Again, I felt a nervous shudder run through my mind but I shook it off. Details and maps and documents and decisions and so much more slammed around in my brain, forcing Katniss out for a moment, trying to get my body to realise that this was it.
This was the moment that would change everything forever.
Even if everyone didnt know it yet.
I glanced back up at Katniss and Peeta, sickened by their playful banter and stupid lovesick expressions. But I forced myself to focus. I looked straight at Katniss, unblinking, and tried to memorise everything about her at that moment.
The shine of the light in her dark hair, the glint in her eyes, the smile playing at her lips as her teeth were slowly appearing in her effort to smile.
Her last stint at happiness.
I was sure that I was the only one who noticed the dark circles under her eyes from a sleepless night, the rumpled clothes, the anxious swoop of the crowd when she thought the attention was focused on someone else, the way she bit her lip unconsciously as she always did when she was troubled....
But fake happiness or not, I realised that it would be a long time before I saw her smile like that again, so I memorised it and promised myself that I would never let it go.
Then the mayor finished up and gave the stand to the dreaded Effie Trinket.
"Well," she started with a strained smile that was plastered in lipstick that matched the colour of her hair "This is a very special day!"
Yeah, I wanted to add, special like a death sentence.
"Very special indeed. For one, I never thought I would request this District!" her chirpy laugh sounded hollow in the silence that followed and she cleared her throat as she realised her humour had fallen flat.
"But more importantly, it is the very first of our semi annual addition to the event, and of course, the seventy fifth hunger games!" she squeaked and I wanted to throttle her.
She twittered on about more unimportant details and I shifted impatiently on the spot. I scanned through the eligibles, untill I met the eyes of the person I had been looking out for and tried to comunicate with them through my gaze. I saw a distinct nod but it gave me no reassurance.
Then Effie was at the girls bowl and she was reading out a name.
A shudder went through the crowd as it always does and a small looking girl from the fifteen year old category stumbled onto the stage. Like a deer caught in headlights, her expression was frozen,her lower lip trembling and her fragile knees shaking in fear.
She wasnt anyone I recognised. But she was still somebody and I was sure that there was someone out there that she meant the world to. She looked much too small and delicate to be fifteen, but the hollowness of her face and the knowledge of her stare said otherwise.
But she was no fighter. And she definetly wasnt a survivor.
I felt a familiar pain as I wished there was something we could have done to keep her from experiencing this terrifying moment. But it would have been too complicated to do that, so we had to keep it simple.
Simply mad.
I thought again about the plan and kicked myself for the millionth time for agreeing to it in the first place. Why, why why? I gritted my teeth. That poor girl had done nothing wrong.
It is all for the greater good, I thought over and over again.
There is no victory without sacrifice.
But how were you supposed to know if the price was too high to pay? What were you willing to sacrifice for victory? Was it worth it? Was it my sacrifice to make?
Those were the questions that had been jumping in and out of my train of thought for the last few weeks.
Effie smiled brightly at the girl and trilled on about how honoured and blessed she was to be a tribute. But her words meshed in my head with the roaring sound of fear and anger and frustration.
Maybe I could.... Maybe I should.... Was it too late to stop, to turn around, to change my mind...?
Yes.
It was inevitable as the day dying out to give way for night.
Then Effie said something else, addressing the crowd. Her voice raising higher than normal at the end of the statement. It was a question.
My heartbeat and the uneven sound of my breath were all I could hear for a moment. The silence that followed was long and drawn out and for one crazy second, I thought that something had changed, gone wrong or right or whatever it would take to keep it from happening.
And then...
"I volunteer!"
Every head turned in unison to the person that had called out.
Every head accept mine.
Because... because I had known it was going to happen before everyone else did.
That moment had played like a broken record in my head, tormenting me...
Ever since I had planned it...
There were some gasps and even cries, but mostly what followed was a stunned, disbelieving silence.
"I'm sorry," Effie squinted down through the crowd "Who was that?"
And then she stepped powerfully into the sight of every person present at the reaping, spilling her blazing light upon us all.
I met her eyes and nodded grimly. With a slight tilt of her head, she acknowledged my look.
And then she took a deep breath.
"Primrose Everdeen," she said "I volunteer as tribute."
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Ok so thanks again for reading and please review!
Just wanted to add, if you love the Hunger Games, you'll love this film I just watched. It's called The Condemned. ----
Its about this guy who takes ten of the most ruthless killers who are on death row from prisons all over the world and drops them off on an island to take part in a live reality game called the condemned. The game is broadcasted on the internet and whoever wins, gets to walk free, fully exonorated. The rules? To win you just have to be the sole survivor before 30hours runs out...
I LOVED it! It really reminded me of the Hunger Games...
