Aftermath

It was dark in the temple of Talos, a heavy, stifling darkness. Danno sat in the common room, watching the flames jump and flicker.

What have I done? How... how could I have let it all go so wrong? How could I abandon them like that? And Neeshka. I sent her. I told her to go. Why? Why did I do it? What... what will I do now? What will happen to me?

What have I done? How could I? How...

The sound of footfalls interrupted the helpless circling of his thoughts. Heavy, unsteady footsteps, stumbling, dragging. Danno came to his feet, peering hopefully, fearfully into the darkness through the doorway.

Have they come back? Did they survive? Hurt, they sound hurt. But I've got healing kits, Sand's potions, I can make it all right, they'll forgive me. Won't they? Is that all of them?

"All of them? Of course it's all of them, you idiot boy. Did you think they wouldn't come back to you?" Ammon's voice was hard, and heavy with condemnation. "They are yours. They followed you, fought with you, trusted you. They will always be with you.

"As will I."

A heavy hand was resting on Danno's shoulder, holding him, forcing him to face his friends as, slowly, with torment and ruin dragging down on them, they came back to him.

Torn. Tattered. Broken.

Neeshka lifted her ruined face to him. No speech coming from that shattered mouth, no hope of it, but a horrible wail of grief and betrayal. All of them stared at him, though none of them had eyes left with which to stare, and the judgement and accusation in those sightless gazes was more than Danno could bear.

He dropped to his knees, and tried to wrap his arms round his head, blot out the sight of them. They moved closer, gathering round. Danno started screaming, but his voice was weak and shrill. He tried to strike out, drive them off, with feeble and leaden hands. He couldn't move. He sat in the common room, in the temple of Talos, his head pillowed on his arms, slumped over a rickety table. Something horrible was creeping towards him through the darkness, and he couldn't move.

Awake, I'm awake, Oh Earthmother it's there, help me, somebody...

His tried to shout for help, his voice a feeble croak. His arm shifted, groping vaguely. With a desperate, violent heave... he managed to roll his head to one side.

The nightmare slowly receded. Trembling he sat up, peering into the shadows. Nothing there, nothing at all. He could hear voices nearby, Casavir's deep and measured tones, Neeshka's excited chatter. Thank the gods, they're all right, please let them be all right. He got up, nearly fell as dizziness washed over him, stood leaning against the wall for a while, then staggered into the refectory.

They were all there. His nightmare still lingered, he had to suppress a horrible fear that they would turn ruined faces towards him, but they were alright, oh thank all the gods they were alright. And looking... Pleased? Relieved? Why? We failed, no demon, nobody to suspect except us, we're done for. Why are they relieved? The high priest of Talos was also there, looking somewhat disgruntled, but hardly furious. He spotted Danno, and stepped forward.

"I must say, Danno Benner, that I am rather disappointed with this night's doings. Your demon has hardly been the destructive force that you promised me." Neeshka was making urgent and incomprehensible hand signals behind the priest's back, grinning broadly. "I had thought you were summoning a Tanar'ri, a monster to rampage through the city. Instead you seem to have conjured up a... an assassin! Something more suited to Cyric than our lord Talos! Oh, you have the city in a ferment, to be sure, but a killer that strikes so selectively, then melts into the darkness to strike again on the other side of the city, is not what I was expecting!"

What in Faerun is he on about? Demon? Strike again? Danno realized that all he could do was try to bluff it out. "I'm so sorry you're not entirely satisfied with our efforts on your behalf. The next time I risk my life in an enemy's stronghold, and risk my soul conjuring a demon, I shall take especial care to make sure I conjure exactly what you require. On this occasion, however, you'll just have to make do with what you've got – at no risk to yourselves, I might add. Now if you don't mind, might I impose on your hospitality a little, and speak with my companions? In private?"

The high priest spluttered indignantly, but also retreated. "Well, really! It's not that I'm unappreciative, but our aid was given on an understanding that... didn't come cheap..."

His voice trailed away into the next room. Danno turned to the others, and abruptly felt a strong desire to sit down. He lowered himself onto a bench. "You're alright. Neeshka, you found them. Thank the gods! You've been gone so long, I thought..."

"Sure I found them! And no Cowled Wizard had any chance of spotting me. You should have seen me, I was magnificent! Running through the shadows, leaping over the rooftops..."

"Scarin' the life out of me. Lass, the next time you go whispering in my ear, let me see you first!"

"Heh, you should'a seen your face! You went whiter than Danno! And that's pretty white, trust me."

"And what do ye reckon that paladin of Helm thought?"

"Oh, he probably thought you had a weak stomach or something. He was describing the body at the time."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better, eh? I'm an Ironfist! We don't act like little girls at the mention of a spot of blood. Or at the sight of it!"

Danno left them to their squabbling, and turned to Casavir. "Casavir, I'm so glad to see you're alright, and not arrested or hauled off to an asylum or anything. Now could you please tell me what's going on? What's all this about a demon? We didn't summon any demon, Neeshka must have told you. That's why I asked her to find you, to warn you to get out of there!"

"As far as the city is concerned," replied Casavir, "Ammon Jerro was slain by a demon of his own calling. When we and the paladins of Helm and Illmater arrived at his mansion, we found the place in an uproar, with many Cowled Wizards present. It was somewhat difficult to understand what was happening, but eventually the story emerged as follows."

Casavir paused for a moment, standing relaxed and ready, marshalling his thoughts.

"Jerro's guards had thought him studying in his rooms, when they heard screaming from the hallway of the mansion, and found the doors mysteriously locked from the other side. When they broke down the doors, they found the body of Ammon Jerro lying across a summoning circle of his own making. He had evidently been torn apart by the claws of a demon he had summoned. There was no mark of any blade upon him.

"The demon had unlocked the front doors of the mansion from within, and had made its escape. The Cowled Wizards are convinced by this story. There was no arcane magic used in the mansion this night, save for Jerro's own, and there are faint traces of a demonic presence."

Danno clenched and opened his hand, anxious and impatient. "Yes, of course, Neeshka. But there was the mark of a blade on him! I used... oh."

"Aye," interrupted Khelgar. "When they let us look at the body we could see what you used. But I reckon these people haven't seen a shard storm, or what it does. Looks a lot like claws, if you're thinking that way."

A wave of relief swept through Danno. He sagged where he sat, and buried his face in his hands.

"Oh my. Are you alright?" Grobnar piped up. "You don't look very well."

"He's alright, Grobnar," Elanee reassured the worried gnome. "He's just exhausted. He's not fully recovered yet from his injuries, and he's exerted himself too far. He really should sleep."

"No, I'm fine, really. It's just... we did it. We actually did it! And I didn't have to summon a demon, and we're in the clear!"

"Indeed. We slew one of our own companions, and won't have to take responsibility for our actions. Clearly a cause for great rejoicing." Casavir's voice was heavy with sarcasm, and his expression was disgusted.

Danno's head snapped up, and he glared at Casavir. "Did Neeshka tell you what happened in there? What he did?!"

"Um, we don't need to go into all that, do we?" Neeshka's gleeful excitement had abruptly disappeared. "I mean, what's done is done, you know? We don't need to go into who did what, or who rescued who. All's well that ends well... err, right?"

Danno opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. She doesn't want them to know. Is she... is she ashamed? Casavir cast a dubious, speculative glance at Neeshka. Then, unexpectedly, Sand spoke up.

"Quite right. There's no sense that I can see in raking over what is done, or offering recriminations. I would have preferred it if Ammon had been tried openly for his crimes. Justice shouldn't be done in dark places, by self-appointed judges. But we've killed in self defence before, and if he attacked them, then that is an end of the matter.

"To be perfectly honest, I am more concerned at present about our welcome here. While the charming high priest is clearly delighted with our company, and our efforts tonight, I fear his hospitality might be wearing just the slightest bit thin. So I do feel it might be prudent not to impose for any longer than we really need to – if we feel we can now leave here safely?"

"Ohhh, you're gonna love this!" Neeshka was practically quivering with glee and excitement. "I did a bit of snooping around while these two were acting all shocked and horrified for the paladins and wizards, and I heard a couple of Ammon's guards talking. And guess what? They're Shadow Thieves, and Ammon still owed the Shadow Thieves a ton of money. They were really unhappy with him. They were going through the place trying to find it, but trust me, they won't."

Oh, so that's why she's so cheerful. "They won't find it because... you did?"

"Weeell, I might have picked up a few little odds and ends, you know?"

Danno could guess why she didn't just come out and say it. She could see some big expenses looming on the horizon, and didn't want them eating into her haul. And she's probably afraid I'll make her put it back, or turn it in to the authorities. She couldn't help boasting though; finding the money and getting away with it was such a boost to her morale and self esteem, after what had happened earlier.

Damn, but that was a stupid risk she took. Traces of her in the hallway, maybe more traps in the mansion, if one had caught her, if the Cowled Wizards or gods forbid the paladins had felt her presence...

Danno knew by now how she'd react if he scolded her for the risk. So he forced down his anxiety, and forced a cheerful grin onto his face.

"Neeshka, you are fantastic!"

She preened, and practically purred with satisfaction. Khelgar, on the other hand, scowled angrily.

"So that's it, is it? We just steal the money, and go off with it? Fighting for what's right, there's honour in that. But lining our pockets? Lad, you know that doesn't sit right with me, it doesn't at all."

Danno shook his head. "It isn't as simple as that Khelgar. That's the money that was to pay for our deaths, or part of it. Do you really want to hand it back to the people who provided it? Or complete the payment for our murders?"

"Hmph. I suppose not. But it just doesn't feel right."

"Oh, relax Stumpy! Danno knows what's what. Now, I am going to pack my things. I can't wait to get out of this dump, and find a proper bar. In a really fancy inn!" And waving her tail in the air, Neeshka hurried chortling from the room.

Sand frowned. "And is this really sufficient assurance for us? The Tiefling hears half a conversation, steals Mystra alone knows how much, or how little, and so we decide we can leave here safely? As I'm sure I said before, I am concerned about our situation here, but I would like a little more certainty that Ammon's hounds have called off their hunt before venturing the streets of this city."

Danno opened his mouth to reply, and then stopped. He'd forgotten something, he knew it. He closed his eyes, trying to think through his tiredness. Then, he realised what he had missed, and the risk they still ran.

"No Sand, it isn't sufficient assurance." He sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. "I'm sure Neeshka's right about what she heard, and I think she's had enough bounties on her head to know when she's found the sort of back-payment those Shadow Thieves were discussing. And I don't think they'll try to complete a contract when the customer has died owing them money.

"But there's something I forgot; another reason we need to keep that money Neeshka stole. We might still need it to buy our way out of this."

"I don't understand." Elanee looked and sounded tense and irritable. "If the authorities don't suspect us of killing Ammon, and the Shadow Thieves have no reason to attack us, then who might still threaten us?"

"The Shadow Thieves. Because Khelgar was only half right."

"Huh? What about?" Khelgar tugged at his beard nervously.

"About people not recognising a shard storm. The Cowled Wizards didn't, nor did the knights and paladins of Helm and Illmater. But... but I used it in the slums, against our attackers."

"Several times," added Casavir thoughtfully, "from what we saw in the courtyard where you were brought down."

Danno almost felt like bursting into tears: he'd been so hopeful and relieved only moments before, and now he was mired down in plots and plans again. And he was so tired. Perhaps Elanee was right, perhaps he wasn't recovered. With an effort he pulled himself together.

"So the Shadow Thieves do know what a shard storm does to someone. And if one of those guards in the mansion was also attacking us in the slums that night, then they won't accept the story of demon attack, they'll know who killed Ammon. That means they could blackmail us. If they do, I want something we can pay them with."

"I see. And do you really think the Tiefling..."

"Sand! I've already been through this with Elanee! She has a name!" Danno jumped to his feet, all his frustration and fear boiling into anger. "It's Neeshka! Neeeesh-ka! It isn't that hard to pronounce, not for an educated man like you, so use it damn you!"

In a sudden excess of rage, Danno grabbed Sand by the robes and shoved him back against the wall. Abruptly he realised what he was doing. He also realised that there was a dagger in Sand's hand. Then Casavir's heavy grip fell on his shoulder and, surprisingly gently, pulled him back.

"I think that is quite enough. Knight Captain, you have been under great strain, and are still suffering from the cruel effects of Talos' 'healing'. And I fear we have relied on you too much, and failed to allow for your condition. But you will do nothing but harm by threatening your companions."

Danno said nothing. He couldn't trust himself to speak. He wasn't even sure he could trust himself to stand, without Casavir's steadying hand on his shoulder. Sand cleared his throat awkwardly, and tucked the dagger away in his robes.

"Yes, well, perhaps I have been somewhat insensitive toward the young lady. And on reflection, perhaps she is right that our first order of business should be to decamp from these dreary surroundings. The charming theme of decay and darkness in the décor is certainly doing our tempers no good at all. Perhaps a little risk isn't too high a price to pay for lighter spirits."

"Ha! You're right enough there, elf... uh, Sand. The sooner we find a good inn with decent ale the better!" Khelgar's tone of forced jollity rang horribly false in Danno's ears, but it brought embarrassed murmurs of agreement from the others, and they started leaving the room to gather their few belongings. As she passed, Elanee briefly took Danno's hand and patted it sympathetically. He thought he would die of shame. He wanted to apologise to Sand, but he'd already started to leave the room. Then Danno saw Neeshka nervously peering round a door.

"Um. What's going on? What's all the shouting about?"

Casavir, who had moved away from Danno but not left the room, hesitated before saying "We have decided to find other accommodation. An inn."

"Well, sure. I just said that. You were shouting about that? Gee. Let me know if you're going to argue about something important, right? I guess I'll want to be in the next city." Her voice was light and bantering, but Danno thought he could hear a thread of uneasiness in it. He guessed she'd heard more than she was letting on, but couldn't really bring himself to care.

He wandered back to the bench he'd been sitting on, lowered himself onto it, and rested his forehead on the table. He wondered vaguely who was in charge of the little group now. Had Casavir taken over? He hadn't exactly come up with a plan of his own, just followed along in Neeshka's wake. Not even that, since it was Sand who'd actively suggested she had the right idea. Was Neeshka in charge? Danno was sure of one thing; whoever was leading them now, it wasn't Danno.

About bloody time too. I never wanted to be a leader. Never wanted to be... anything, really. I never had a plan for my life, did I? I studied wizardry because I was good at learning spells, and it was better than grubbing through a swampy field. It was good of Daeghun to keep me while I did that, it never put food on the table or clothes on our backs. But I never cared about wizardry like Tarmas did, or even Amie. I could never invent new spells like Sand does, never fight beyond the limits of my own talent... lucky for me I am talented, very talented, but it's all rote learning, all spells other people have invented.

What would I have been if the Githyanki hadn't come to West Harbor? Or Tarmas, for that matter? Would I have been a weaver? A tinker? An odd-job man? I think I would have liked that, just doing bits and pieces for people. But the Githyanki did come, and Daeghun sent me off to Neverwinter, and since then I've just been... reacting. Just doing what seemed the right thing to do. Trying to stay alive, trying to save lives, trying... to save myself?

Was that the whole point? If you save the whole world, of course you save the bit you're standing on. Was that all I was doing, just saving my own hide, just... seeing the threat more clearly than other people? Did I do anything that wasn't secretly selfish? Trying to treat my companions decently, that was just helping myself. Treating those around me like a civilised man should, well who wants to make enemies needlessly? I think I'm a good person, but am I? Really?

Yes... yes. That crypt, the... Bryce crypt, that was it. I just thought I was helping a little girl, helping her sister not to be an idiot with some stupid boys. If I'd just walked by, ignored them, it wouldn't have hurt me, not then, not later. Not at first glance, anyway, not if you didn't know about the necromancy. And... and saving those two little boys in Highcliff. That stupid wet couple, Gera and whatever. They'd never have been any help or threat to me.

Yes, I am a good person. I try to be.

But I murdered Ammon... No! That wasn't murder, it wasn't! He was torturing her! He's tried to kill us again and again when he could have just talked, and then he hurts Neeshka. Humiliates her! He deserved to die. I had to save her.

He sounded frightened, when he was questioning her. Frightened, under the cruelty.

I can't think about this any more. Can't think about him any more. Put him away in a dark box, lock it tight, throw away the key. He changed my life, changed me, changed what I am. Who I am. But he's gone now, and that's an end of it.

I wonder... if Ammon had won in West Harbor all those years ago, if the sword hadn't shattered, the King of Shadows had never come back... who would I have been? What would have become of me? Would I have just lived there, all my life? Would I have married, had children, grandchildren? I never really seemed to have a knack with girls. Great at being their friend, most of them liked me, but none of them seemed interested in me. Not even Amie. I liked her. But not really... not like Neeshka.

Neeshka. Oh, Sune and Chauntea, but she is beautiful. Selfish, greedy, heartless really. She never thought to treat the world better than it treated her. But she is so alive! She shines, sparks, when she fights it's like a dance. She's like a flame in the night, and she doesn't care for rules, doesn't care what people think about her. She's not like me, always running around after other people, trying to fix their problems, dutifully trying to do the right thing. She just lives, just... is.

Does she like me? Does she love me? She loves it when I protect her, when I back her up, when I encourage her to do what she wants to do anyway. Am I just a flattering bodyguard for her? A spellcasting lapdog? Maybe. I'd be happy with that, I think. Just so long as I could stay with her. So long as I could stomach what she did. Gods and demons, I am pathetic. Pathetic! I think... she did seem upset, when I woke up after being healed. And... do I remember coming round in the Coronet? Her crying? I'm not sure. Maybe she does like me. I hope so. I hope...

"Danno! Danno! Hey, wake up!"

"Huh? Wh... wha...?"

Neeshka straightened up after shouting in his ear, rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Hells, you've been asleep for hours. I thought we'd have to drag you out of here. Holy Boy was all set to go off and kidnap some other healer. Which would have been really funny. But noisy. Hey, Casavir! It's alright, he's awake. Just needed a good loud shout. Um, Danno? We're outta here. I've got your stuff. What didn't get kicked to bits in the slums, anyway. We'll have to buy you new clothes. Those black robes? So don't suit you. But your other stuff is all dried blood and holes. Looks right at home here, so we're leaving it."

"Uh. Gods, I feel... what's happening?"

"I said, we're going! Turned some of this paper to gold, oh, we are so rich! Rented some really posh rooms in a fancy inn, asked around about contracts on us, not a whisper! Even in real bad dives, people just get really embarrassed about it. The way I hear it, the Shadow Thieves have got a new name for a job that goes really, really wrong; I mean, give up and walk away wrong. You know what it is? A Jerro Job! Oh, and I got this for you."

Danno sat up straight, tried to clear his head of the rush of words, and blinked owlishly at the amulet that Neeshka was dangling in front of him.

"What's that?"

She swatted him lightly with her tail. "It's a magic license! Got them for Sand, Grobnar and Flower Girl too."

"Elanee."

"Yeah, her. Like that landlord said, druids don't count as clerics around here, not if they start throwing lightning and elementals around. Go on, put it on! There, now you can really cast some grief at people! And you get some really good prices in shops too, when people see one of these round your neck. Sand's like the monkey with the key to the plantation, you know? Buying all sorts of books and ingredients and stuff."

"Um. What's a munkee?"

"Hells, don't you know that? It's a little furry thing that's really excitable. And greedy."

"Oh. Right. Wh... what about the high priest, is he..."

"No problem. Nooo problem! We made a real nice donation, and Casavir had a quiet word with him. Told him if he gave us trouble, we'd tell everyone who it was helping Ammon with his demon summoning. He shut right up, trust me. Turned a really nice shade of green, too."

Danno stared at her in astonishment. "Helping Ammon... Casavir said that? Our Casavir!?"

She grinned happily back at him. "Yeah, who'd have thought it? Y'know, I think I'm itching a bit less around him, which is really cool. Now, are you coming? Or have you decided to join the priests here, because if you have, I'm not going to be visiting real often. Ugh, I thought holy places were bad, but trust me, after this week, I'll take holy over evil any day. Come on, let's go!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Sorry, it's just... what time is it?"

"Nearly supper time. You've been snoring all day. Elanee keeps going on about you needing to rest, but if you don't start eating instead of sleeping, you're going to be resting underground, if you get my meaning. Come on!"

And with that, Neeshka whirled away and darted out the door. Danno stared blankly after her for a few moments, before shaking his head sharply, and scrambling to his feet. He looked around the dark, dirty room with it's third-hand furniture, and gave a snort of disgust. "Good riddance. Can't believe we took shelter here. What on Faerun got into us?"

Then, trying to shake the feeling that a loud-mouthed whirlwind had just swept through the room and rearranged the universe, he followed Neeshka out of the temple of Talos, and into the hot and airless Athkatla summer evening.