Theme Seven: Dirt
They had, Suzie discovered, all apparently decided she was leader.
That was really intimidating and terrifying. She didn't show that, oh, no, she was smarter than that now, but she certainly felt it. Himami had a nightmare where she was trying to save a Kunemon from being eaten by a shadowy digimon she couldn't identify. It had fallen off a cliff and she had leapt after it. She'd almost gotten a hold of her partner when her parents woke her up. The blonde girl was upset, that much was clear on her face as she gazed down at her D-Arc. Her dark gold-green eyes were worried. Her D-Arc was trimmed in pastel blue. It didn't surprise Suzie that the girl had been brave enough to leap from the cliff after her Kunemon. That was just who Himami was. She would do anything to help people, even people she didn't know. Currently she was sporting a nasty bruise for standing up for a younger boy against his abusive older brother; the school was still sorting that affair out as they spoke. There was nothing odd about her friends, Suzie decided, there was just an awful lot of weirdness to this situation.
Focus. They were relying on her. She had to be good. She had to be a leader. She wasn't allowed to be afraid or confused. All the fears came rushing back at her, the fear of losing her nakama, of being thought of as a scared little girl, of being told she was useless and weak. Her rose-quartz eyes hardened into an authoritative glare. She stood up straight, her hair perfectly done into a single neat bun on the left side of her head and her clothes spotless. Lopmon and the Digital World might be hanging in the balance. She could panic later. She could be the scared child in the safety of her bedroom late at night. Now was the time to be a grown up or die trying. She held her D-Arc tightly in her own hand, surveying her team of four with keen interest. Ai and Mako had awoken to the buzzing of their purple D-Arc and a voice saying one word: "Soon." What that meant, Suzie didn't know. She didn't let on that she didn't know, however, and she didn't let on that her own D-Arc's glow had lit up the room when she'd been woken up. Instead she looked them over. Mako was contemplative and his expression was both thoughtful and anticipatory. Ai was optimistic, plainly hoping for her partner, her eyes lighting up like orange topazes in a jewelry store display. Himami and Kouta were uncertain and lost. They had never thought this would be their fate.
Suzie was lost, too. She just didn't show it. She had to be tough. She knew no fear, she reminded herself, even though new Tamers might mean something bad was coming. She was brave and bold and not scared in the least. When her traitorous knees shook anyway she had simply sat down. Be smart and calm like Henry, she had told herself. Be light hearted and nice like Takato. Be tough and fearless like Rika. How hard could it be to explain something she didn't understand? Adults lied like this all the time, right? This should be easy. She met their eyes in turn, trying to think of something to say. She wasn't some little kid anymore. She was a big girl now. Time to deliver some harsh news and step up to the challenge she'd been preparing herself for. All this constant work she'd been doing at the Center and at school had been leading up to her becoming the kind of Tamer who could be put in charge and not fail. She was not afraid. She was not uncertain or lost.
She was lying through her teeth to claim she knew any more than the other children did.
"The Tamers first came into being," she had started quickly, hurriedly, letting a hint of nervousness show, "When wild digimon were coming through to our world. The Tamers had to be around to stop people from getting hurt. They were destined to exist, though, to fight the greater evil. The D-Reaper." She fought down the urge to say stupid childish things like the big meanie, the big monster, and more than anything she fought not to look afraid. She could tell she was failing. Forcing herself to sound more like know-it-all Rika, she had continued after a brief pause. "More Tamers means something is coming. Something bad. We will have to learn to work together and fight like Takato, Rika and my brother did. No fighting with each other and no more starting arguments, Kouta. We have to take this seriously or people could die."
She'd always accused her brother of deliberately scaring her. He always made everything sound worse than it was to freak her out. He had told her she'd choke to death if she wore necklaces. He'd told her she'd break a leg if she tried skating. He had made sure she knew she was in danger of getting into a lethal car accident if she rode her bike. She'd always promised herself not to be like that when she got older. Instead she'd become just like him, manipulative yet honest. Suzie could feel something within her spit upon this kind of behavior. She fought the urge to wince. All four of her friends were hanging onto her every word. She was in charge and she had never intended to be, but she was going to try to do something good with it.
"We all need to learn about the Digimon card game. We can use the cards to help our partners. And we should all try to keep a lookout for wild digimon who might enter our world. They don't mean any harm sometimes, but they can't help it. I mean, Meramon is on fire. He melts the road wherever he walks. Things like that happen and can really wreck the town unless we stop it. We're the protectors of our world now. It'll be hard, but we can do it. There's a lot more of us than there was last time, and if the others get their digimon there will be more Tamers than ever before. There's no problem we can't face with all of them backing us up." She smiled that sweet, convincing little girl smile as she lied. "We'll be fine." No, they wouldn't. They were little kids and she was in charge and she wasn't ready. "So long as we have our D-Arcs and our partners we'll be safer than we've ever been.
She felt dirty even saying it.
