I hope you all had an amazing New Years and partied it up! Mine was…interesting. I'm not saying it was good but it wasn't bad. Just interesting. Haha. One word: cowboys. Only in Nevada. Any who…
Here is the chapter that I kept you in suspense for. I hope it was worth the wait! Bella's point of view this time! YAY!
Oh and I forgot to add this detail in the last chapter: all Bella's broken bones are fixed since two months have passed. She is cast free, but not problem free…
Spirals
Chapter Seven: Awakening
At first there was blackness, nothingness. Then there was pain. Excruciating, unbearable pain. I wanted to scream and writhe but I couldn't find my body. It was like I was stuck in a cage and couldn't get out. I could feel the rain pounding down and hands on my body but I couldn't tell them anything. All I could focus on was the fire that burned every part of me. Then I couldn't get enough air into my lungs and I was losing my grip, falling back into the blackness; I welcomed it.
But something broke through everything, Edward. He was calling my name.
"Come on Bells! I need you! Don't do this to me!" I could hear the tears in his voice. I thought about what it would do to him if I died. It would crush him.
I could hear everything that was going on but couldn't react to it. I could feel the pounding on my chest and Edward's lips wrapped around mine. I wanted to reach out and touch him; to tell him to take the pain away, but I couldn't.
I could hear my friend's screams and sobs and the gasps of others. I kept slipping away but I was holding on, I had to for everyone.
I hear the ambulance sirens and felt them lifting me onto the gurney; someone still pressing on my chest, making it easier for me to breath. The ride on the gurney to the ambulance felt like I was flying; I was light as a feather. I could get used to this. I couldn't feel my body anymore or anyone touching me, which I knew they were. I could only hear the conversations.
All of a sudden I could breathe easier, but I wasn't doing it myself and it felt wrong. I didn't care. I was flying.
"What is that, Carlisle?" I hear Edward ask.
"It's some morphine. If she can feel anything I don't want her to be in pain. Don't worry about it Edward. Just keep pumping." He replied. As he finished that sentence I felt the morphine hit. The voices seemed far, far away.
"Edward, hand the bag over to Andrew." Carlisle said, but it sounded slurred. I had no idea what was going on anymore. I was becoming more and more detached from the world.
It felt like hours later when I heard people talking around me. I deduced from the conversation that I was going to have surgery. I wasn't burning and in serious pain anymore, just a slight stinging flowing through my body. Minutes later I heard Carlisle whisper in my ear. "It'll all be okay, Bella," he said in a calming voice. Then the darkness took over again.
---
The next thing I was aware of was the feeling of someone watching me. Or was it more than one person? It was creepy. There were also hands all over my body; I'd guessed it was my friends who were surrounding me in my time of need.
"I wonder if she could hear us?" I heard Alice's voice for the first time.
"I don't know," Edward said, "I guess it couldn't hurt." It couldn't hurt! I wanted to yell to them, to jump up and hug them. But I was still stuck.
"Hey Bells, it's your dad." My daddy. I smiled on the inside. "If you could just give us a sign that you can hear us it would make this so much easier." The thing I wanted to do the most in the world, right now, was the one thing I couldn't. It frustrated me that I couldn't get any signal across to them.
"Come on Bells. Don't be dumb. I know you can hear us. Just come back so we can get on with our lives. You're such an attention whore." My Jacob. The most amazing friend anyone could have. If I were awake right now I would be cracking up along with everyone else.
"Hey, baby. It's your Eddie." I wanted to reach out and touch his face when he spoke the nickname that only I could call him by. It broke my heart a little bit more. "I really need you Bells, we all do." I could hear the desperation in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice said. I could hear the tears in her voice. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We had it all planned out and now it's all backward. You, Rose, and I were going places." My heart broke even more at the thoughts of the future, which I didn't know if I was going to have anymore.
"Em and I miss you, Bella." I loved Jazz and Emmett. They were like my big brothers. I just wanted to make them happy again. "You're like our little sister and now we can't pick on you. It's getting frustrating." I broke just a little bit more because I was hurting everyone and I couldn't help it.
After he said that all the pressure of the hands left my body. I didn't want it to stop. The feeling was keeping me together. When it left I could feel myself coming apart at the seams. "Let's go you guys," Edward said, "she'll be okay while we're gone." NO! I didn't want them to leave. I heard the footsteps walk out of the room which left me alone.
I fell, fell, fell, into the blackness and didn't resurface for a long, long time.
---
There was yelling. A lot of yelling. I could distinguish the voices in the melee. Jake, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper. Someone was missing, the person who could make them stop. I wanted them to stop. I got from the jist of it that they were fighting over me; whose fault was it that I was in this position. That just made me angry.
"That's it!" Edward screamed in fury. "Enough of this shit! Do you think Bella would want us to fight with each other? Blame ourselves for what happened? NO! She'd want us to get over it and bond together! You all need to SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
In my anger I could feel the strings coming loose. There was nothing was biding me in the cage of my body anymore. I felt my limbs and my head and my beating heart. When I discovered this, the constant beeping that was always there sped up. The yelling abruptly stopped—which I was glad about—and I could focus on opening my eyes.
My eyelids felt heavy as I tried to lift them. I strained but eventually I got it. My eyes opened to the faces of my friends staring at me, joy and concern on their faces. I tried to speak but something was in my mouth and down my throat. It freaked me out and I lifted my hands up to take it out but they were so week from non-use that they groped uselessly at the contraption.
Then Edward reached over and grabbed my hands, putting them back down at my sides. "Don't touch anything, Bells. It's there to help you." He was smiling. That sight made my heart swell and tears pooled in my eyes; my joy overflowing.
Everyone took a step toward me. "Are you in pain?" Jake asked. I shook my head, the tears sliding down the side of my face and into my hair. The faces that I had missed so much were all there, putting me back together again. Like Humpty Dumpty.
"I'm going to go get Carlisle," Alice said as she turned and headed for the door.
Since I couldn't talk I just stared at the faces of my friends. Their smiling faces staring back. I took in all the features on their faces like I was new to this world. Edward's hair had lost its brilliant sheen, his skin more pale than I had ever seen it, but is emerald green eyes were bright and sparkling. Jake's face was turned down in an odd way even though he was smiling, his hair had grown out a little and there was a greasy sheen to it (hadn't he showered lately?), his dark eyes were wide with excitement but there was an aged look to them. Rosalie was as gorgeous as ever but her hair hung limp around her face, her perfect complexion not as vibrant, and her eyes weren't as alight as Edward and Jacob's. Emmett was smiling his goofy smile like always but there was something about his face that suggested he hadn't has this expression on in a long time, which was strange to me. Jasper was tall and statuesque but had lost some weight (they all had) and was ganglier than I remembered, his eyes were bright with hope and I knew what that was about: Alice. She took my accident the hardest I guessed.
As I was finished taking inventory of all my friends, Alice rushed in with Carlisle behind her, both of them wearing identical, wide grins.
Carlisle came over to my bedside and checked the machines that were taking toll of my vitals. Then he turned to me. "How are you feeling?"
Since I couldn't answer I just pointed at the contraption in my mouth. He nodded. "I'll take that out for you, hon." I was grateful that I would be able to tell everyone everything I'd ever wanted to say. He took the tape off that was holding the mouthpiece in place. Then he took hold of the tube, half way in my mouth. "Take a deep breath as I pull it out, okay?" I nodded and sucked as much air as I could through my nose; I closed my eyes as well. He yanked the tube out and, even though I was holding my breath, I gagged which hurt. The sound of it made everyone suck in a breath.
"Sorry, Bella," Carlisle said when he was done, wiping the spit from my lips. "Can you breathe alright?"
I couldn't find my voice just yet so I mouthed 'yes'. Everyone gave me a look of concern because I wasn't speaking aloud. "Can you speak, baby?" Edward asked as his eyebrows crinkled. I held up a finger so they would know to give me a second.
When I thought I could speak I knew the first thing I wanted to say. I turned to Edward, staring deep into his endless green eyes. I drew a breath and whispered out "I love you."
EEEEK! Love love love? I DO! I'm so happy right now! Review and alert!
