A/N: Sorry for the long wait on this chapter, things kept getting in he way...like evil alter egos demanding Charles and Elsie abandon this story to be a little naughty (or a lot naughty as it turned out). And as for the direction things went with Anna and Bates...heck if I know where that came from. The characters in this chapter have gone in the direction they wanted to from the moment I started writing it.
Thanks to all of my reviewers and those who have started following me and to the new favorites!
Charles stopped and stared as he closed the door of their bedroom behind him. Elsie was standing at the window, the moonlight casting her in shadow and highlighting her hair. He moved quietly up behind her, his arms sliding around her waist. "Hello, Lass," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her temple.
"Done for the night?" she asked, knowing that he was.
"I am." Nudging her hair away from her neck with his nose, he gently kissed the soft skin. "We should be getting to bed. We've a long day tomorrow."
Turning in his arms, Elsie looked up and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."
Charles blinked in surprise. "Sorry? For?"
"I know that we've decided to leave, that we'd settled this earlier. I also know that you don't want to leave Downton. This is your home, your family. Let me," she bit her lip then continued. "Let me leave alone. I can stay in the village and be near by. You could,"
"Elsie." Charles broke in, not letting her finish. "No. If one of us leaves, we both do." Cupping her face, he pressed a kiss to her nose then lips before continuing. "We've spent too many years apart living under the same roof. I'll not let us spend more years apart with you living somewhere else. I want us to be the way we were. I want a real marriage again."
Elsie sighed and tucked her head under his chin. "I'm so confused, Charles. Do you know that Her Ladyship asked to see me before she went up to bed?"
"I heard O'Brien grumbling about being held up for her duties because of you. I wanted to tell her to mind herself, but decided against it. Too tempting to strike the woman."
"Oh Darling." Elsie chuckled as she caressed his back.
Charles shivered at the rolled r. "Say it again," he breathed.
"Darling," she repeated feeling his reaction. Pulling back to look up at him, she caressed his cheek. "I don't want to sleep."
Charles nodded. "First, tell me what Her Ladyship wanted before we get more distracted."
Elsie smiled. "She wanted to apologize."
"Apologize?" Charles asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"Yes. She said that she was sorry for the way she'd acted, the way she'd pried into my private business. She said that she had never understood why I brought her the tray the night that she lost the baby instead of sending up one of the maids until tonight. The Dowager told them of the baby and how I had kept the grief to myself when the baby was lost so that it didn't take away from the joy of Lady Mary."
"God bless the Dowager."
"I need to apologize to her."
"She understands, Elsie. She always has."
Elsie sighed, "I know, but I still feel I owe her an apology."
"Then we'll take care of it tomorrow." Charles told her before lifting her in his arms. "Enough of that for now."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Elsie kissed his cheek. "You haven't carried me in a long time. At least not while I was aware of it."
Charles smiled. "I'm glad that you're aware this time. I was frightened the last time I carried you."
"I'm sorry for that."
"No need," he whispered. "Now, climb in while I change."
Sitting up on her knees where he'd placed her on the bed, Elsie reached up and tugged at his tie. "Let me."
Charles let his hands fall, watching his wife as she carefully unbuttoned his shirt down to where it met his waistcoat. Smiling at her when she snarled her nose, he couldn't resist the urge to lean over and kiss the tip. "You're so cute when you do that."
"Cute, Mr. Carson?" she asked, intentionally rolling the r more than usual.
"Elsie Carson," he growled as he shivered. "You know what that does to me."
"I do, Darling?" Elsie asked, exaggerating the rolled r as she looked up at him innocently.
Moving closer and grabbing her, Charles crushed her against him as he kissed her, one hand in her hair, the other on the small of her back pushing her lower body against him. His hand bunched up the soft material of her nightdress as his mouth moved from her lips to her neck, nibbling and suckling the soft skin.
Elsie's own hands were busy, his jacket landed in a heap behind
him, his waistcoat following. The last remaining buttons of his shirt slipped through their holes easily and his shirt soon join the other pieces of his clothing. "Charles," she breathed then moaned when his mouth suckled the sensitive spot just below her ear.
Pulling back, Charles took a breath then kissed her forehead. "What?"
Tugging on his undershirt, Elsie smiled up at him. "You have to let me go before I can get rid of this."
Letting her go, Charles helped her remove the offending piece then moved his hands back to her nightdress. Watching her face as he drew the material up over her hips, he heard her hasty intake of breath as the garment was pulled over her head. Letting the gown drop to the floor, he stood back and admired the pale, curvy form of the woman he loved. His eyes were drawn to the bruise that marred her breast from the procedure she'd had done for her tests and he closed his eyes as he leaned forward. "Oh Elsie," he breathed.
"Shh. It's just a bruise."
Pressing a kiss over the small scar, he looked up at her. "Still as beautiful as I remember."
Elsie shook her head. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Charles."
Charles winked at her even as he was reaching out to push down her knickers. "Lay down for me."
Elsie settled herself amongst the pillows as she watched Charles add wood to the fire before returning back to the bed. Watching him toe off his shoes then socks before undoing his trousers and letting them fall to the floor, she licked her lips when he stepped out of them. Her breath hitched when he pushed down his last remaining piece of clothing and joined her, pressing his body against hers. "It's been much too long, Charles."
Charles nodded his head in agreement. "Much, much too long."
CnE
Elsie sighed in contentment as she lay draped over her husband's body, her head resting on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Whatever for?" Charles asked as he caressed a finger down her spine.
"For this. For making me feel like a woman again." She pushed herself up a bit and looked down at him. "For making me forget."
"I promised, Elsie. And you never had to thank me for this. It gave me as much pleasure as it did you."
She smiled at him before settling back on his shoulder with a sigh. Caressing an aimless pattern over his heart, she pressed a kiss to his chest. "Beth was still upset."
"I know, but I think it's more to do with your health than the rest of it at this point. I think she was grateful not to have to go back to London and leave us behind completely."
"Charles?"
"Yes, Lass?"
"Do you think we could afford a small shop near London?"
"I'll see what I can learn about cost and all the other things to go along with it."
"Maybe Mr. Crawley can help." Elsie suggested.
"I'll try and get time with him tomorrow and ask." Charles pressed a kiss to her head. "Are you sure you want to move so far away? We'll be leaving our Anna, Mr. Bates, and Beryl behind."
"I know, but," Elsie paused and bit her bottom lip. "I'll miss them, but so many years have been lost with Beth. I know that we can't be involved completely in her life because of who she's married to, but we could be closer." Her voice broke. "Of course if I'm dying, it won't much matter."
"Please, Elsie." Charles pleaded with a choked voice.
"Shh," she soothed as she moved to lie on her back, pulling him to her and cradling him to her breast. "Let go, Charles. You've held me, kept most of your tears to yourself, it's your turn now. I'm here, just as you were for me."
Charles buried his face against her neck, letting his fear out as his tears soaked her skin. His hand clutched her hip as sobs shook him. He was a grown man, a man not given to tears, but every now and then a man needed to let himself feel. There was nowhere better to break down than here in her arms, her warm body beneath him, her arms holding him tight, the sweet smell of her skin filling his nose.
Elsie's tears ran down her cheeks into his hair as she held him, one hand cradling his head to her, the other rubbing his back. "I hurt you when I left all those years ago. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted so rashly. And now,"
Pressing a kiss to her neck, Charles swallowed and pulled back to look at her. "Now we will live each day as full as we can." Caressing a tear from her cheek, he took a deep breath against another sob. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have broken down like that."
"And why shouldn't you? I did. We can't be strong all of the time, Charles. Not when we're facing something that could very well pull us apart forever." Cupping his face, Elsie stared into his watery eyes. "I don't want to leave you. I don't want to die. I want to stay with you, to love with you, to laugh with you, to watch you be a father. I want to grow older than we are with you right by my side."
"I don't want you to leave me. I want all of those things as well, and we'll have them as long as we possibly can." Turning his face and pressing a kiss to the palm of her hand, Charles closed his eyes and calmed the rest of the way down at the feel of her tender fingers caressing the hair at his temple. "Let me love you again," he whispered.
Settling on her side facing him, Elsie smiled as she touched her lips to his and pressed her body close. "Charles," she moaned when he skimmed a hand down her thigh, pulling it up over his.
Sliding easily into her, Charles rested his head against hers, his movements slow and languid. His hands tenderly caressed her, a thumb brushing over a taut nipple. Gazing into her darkened blue eyes, he saw her love, her fears; every emotion she often kept hidden was there for him to see.
Elsie moved closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body as tight to his as she could. "If I only ever had your love, I'd live forever," she whispered as she closed her eyes and let her body take over as her tears dropped onto his skin.
Charles' breath hitched, his own tears returning as he buried his face against her hair. Keeping the slow steady rhythm, he couldn't remember a time when they'd just been together for, he closed his eyes, for what?
Comfort?
No, it was more than that.
Love?
Oh yes, it was that, but it was more as well.
It was something Charles couldn't put into words.
Something he wasn't sure he wanted to put into words.
All he wanted to do was keep his body joined with hers.
And then he knew what it was.
It was hope.
Hope that by moving his body slowly against hers, holding her in his arms, loving her, he could will her to be okay.
CnE
Elisabeth chewed on her bottom lip. "They're going to leave, Charlie."
Charlie blinked in surprise. "What do you mean, Els?"
"I know they didn't say anything, but there was something they were keeping from us while they were here. I wish they'd stop holding things back and just tell me," she huffed.
"Els, come here." Charlie patted the bed beside him. Holding her close when she settled beneath the covers, he pressed a kiss to her head. "Your parents are from the old world's way of doing things, emotions aren't something they show easily to anyone outside the two of them because emotions get in the way of rising within the ranks below stairs. The only reason you know she's sick, is because you guessed and forced their hand. Don't push, Sweetheart. They'll tell you when they're ready. Just be thankful that Mrs. Crawley has given us a place to stay so that you can get to know your parents without the limitations placed on them by their positions within the house."
"Why didn't I think? All those years I've dreamed of finding them again. I've always known that Mama was a housekeeper. I," Elisabeth sighed and shook her head.
"Els, you couldn't have known she'd still be in service. And how could you have known what your father does? You've never known anything about him except his name."
"I should have thought, should have asked more questions and demanded answers."
Charlie shook his head. "Uncle Shrimpie wouldn't have told you anything other than what he was allowed to by the Dowager. You knew what they wanted you to know."
Elisabeth sighed and snuggled closer. "I want all of this madness to end. I just want to be able to sit down and visit with my parents without having to worry about classes. Damned peerage system!"
Charlie smiled at her outburst. "Easy there, dragon."
"Charlie!" Elisabeth smacked his chest. "You've not called me that since we were youngsters."
"Because I've not seen much of my Scottish dragon until now, although I suspect I'll be seeing more of her in the coming days."
Elisabeth smiled as she remembered the first time Charlie called her that. "I remember the first time you called me that."
"I remember that day, too. I'd never seen eyes flash like that." Charlie rolled his eyes. "And then you shoved me in the pond."
"You called me a dragon!" Elisabeth defended herself with a chuckle.
"Well the words you were spewing at me might as well have been fire. I'd never heard a girl saying such things. You never did tell me where you learned those particular words."
Elisabeth smiled. "The stable boy."
"And in the Gaelic too. That was what amazed me the most, I think. That voice of yours, that accent." Charlie rubbed her arm. "It's amazing how much you sound like your mother. I'm sure for your father it's like looking back in time when he looks at you."
"Probably so. Oh Charlie," she sighed. "Are things ever going to be simple?"
"Life is never simple, Els."
CnE
"Anna?" John Bates asked his wife as he came out of their bedroom only to find her sitting on the settee staring into the fire with tears streaking her cheeks. Moving across the room, he sat down beside her and drew her into his arms. "What is it?"
"They're going to leave." Anna whispered against his chest. "And she,"
"And she might be dying." John finished causing Anna to look up at him in surprise. "O'Brien," he answered her unasked question.
Anna scowled. "That woman."
"Is a bitch." John supplied for her, smiling when she blinked at him then nodded her agreement of his adjective. "She's also the reason the Carsons are leaving."
"Can't we do anything?"
"I suppose I could use the phrase Thomas told me."
"Would it work a second time?"
"Whatever it means was enough to make the woman blanch, I'd say it would work any time I choose to use it." Wiping at his wife's tears, John held her gaze. "But, I don't think it would keep them from leaving. Too much has happened in the last few weeks. I've seen a difference in Mr. Carson. He's tired of the life, Anna. It's changing faster than he can keep up with, and not knowing if his wife is dying,"
"He wants the time to spend with her without having to worry about seeing to the running of the house." Anna finished, her bottom lip trembling.
"Yes." John nodded then stood up and tugged her with him. "Come on then, let's go back to bed. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to a very long, trying day."
"John?"
"Yes?"
"I don't want to stay when they're gone. We've enough saved, don't we?"
"We do, if it's what you want. But what about Lady Mary?"
"She'll be upset, but I don't want to waste anymore time. I don't want to be pulled apart by you going with His Lordship and me going with Lady Mary in opposite directions. I want more than that for our baby," she whispered the last bit.
"Baby?"
Anna smiled and nodded. "I'd meant to tell you a bit differently, but yes, a baby."
John gave a shout and pulled her against him, the wall bracing him so that he could hold her with both arms and let go of his cane. "I promise we'll leave. I've no desire to work under Thomas more than I already do."
Anna pulled back and handed him his cane. "Come on then. Bed is calling."
"How do you expect me to sleep after telling me I'm going to be a father?"
"Did I mention sleep, Mr. Bates?"
CnE
Charles pulled the ribbon out of the watch pocket of his waistcoat and moved back to the bed. "I've something that belongs to you."
Elsie blinked sleepily at him. "Yes," she agreed. "My heart."
Sliding back beneath the covers, Charles shook his head. "That wasn't what I meant." He held up the rings for her to see.
"Oh." Elsie gasped as she sat up. "Our rings."
Untying the ribbon, Charles took her left hand, sliding the ring back into it's proper home. "Promise me you'll never take it off again."
Taking his ring, Elsie slid in onto his finger. "As long as you promise the same."
"Never again."
"Then mine'll stay." Elsie smiled as she looked down at her ring. "It's been so many years, but it feels as if it's always been there."
Charles nodded. "The same with mine. I suppose in a way they were." Reaching out, he tucked a wayward curl behind her ear, happy that she'd left her hair loose. "I never forgot I belonged to someone, even when I left and went on stage. All those women, throwing themselves at me. I earned some harsh nicknames for ignoring their attentions, but I knew that my heart, that I belonged to someone."
"I never thought any different, Darling, but I'm sorry that you were called names for being faithful to me."
Charles shrugged. "They were no more than what I'd already called myself for being so foolish as to lose you."
Smiling as she cupped his face, Elsie caressed his lips with her thumb. "But I'm found now."
"Yes, you are," he murmured, kissing her thumb. "Come on then, snuggle back down so we can sleep."
"As long as you hold me."
"Don't I always?" Charles asked as he blew out the candle then settled down against his pillows, spooning his body against hers. "I'll always hold you."
"I love you, Charles Carson." Elsie whispered as she slipped into sleep.
Pressing a kiss to her head, Charles closed his eyes as he sighed, "I love you, too, Lass."
