--

An hour later and Keller pronounced them to be who they said they were. John let out an exaggerated sigh and stood up from the Infirmary bed. Ronon and Rodney had been sitting with them since Woolsey had departed, both so heart-warmingly happy to see her and John again. Woolsey had questioned them briefly, and they had answered the basic questions. He asked John for his report later that day, but had allowed Teyla some more time to complete hers. Everyone knew she was so eager to see her son, the air charged with excitement and concern, though no one spoke of it. John felt both for her; happy for her reunion to come, but also the concern over the welcome she may receive. His own concerns over his future and his report were at the back of his mind now, only her and Tagan was all that mattered right now. The thought was barely through John's mind when the Infirmary door slid open and Halling appeared and in his arms was Tagan, so much larger than before.

Teyla had been sitting with her back to the door, but she noticed John's expression and turned. John's heart clenched and he sent out a silent prayer that Tagan would recognise her. Beside him both Rodney and Ronon stood, highlighting the importance of this moment.

Teyla let out a small gasp and was moving towards Halling and her son in a second. She neared them, but slowed, unsure. Halling's smile was massive and John was sure he saw tears in the big man's eyes, but then John had to admit he was feeling pretty emotional himself. His eyes fell on Tagan. The kid was obviously sleepy, his eyes, now very dark brown like his mothers, blinking around at the room. Teyla stepped up to Halling and touched Tagan's little arm in greeting as she whispered to him. The child blinked up at her, a tiny little frown on his forehead. Halling began to pass him over to Teyla, the child rather unwilling to let go, but he didn't cry as Teyla gathering him into her arms. Tagan sat down in her arm and continued to frown up at her, struggling to study all of her face. She stilled and John was suddenly concerned. She tilted her head at her son as if she was listening to something, then Tagan pressed toward and snuggled his little face into her throat, his hands clasping her shirt. Teyla hugged him tightly to her, tears freely running down her cheeks.

Ronon and Rodney headed for the door, telling Teyla they would see her later. She nodded as best she could around her tears. John approached her and Halling. He guessed he really should leave as well, no one would expect him to remain during this emotional reunion. But, he really didn't want to leave her, especially with tears flooding down her face. He knew there wasn't much he could really do, but he didn't like the idea of just leaving her.

"See I told you he would remember his mom." He offered gently as he caught one baby hand in his fingers in greeting. Tagan looked up from cuddling his mom, smiling briefly and went back to his cuddling. John was so relieved that Tagan had recognised Teyla. He longed to put his arms around Teyla now, but he couldn't, not here. He should probably go. Halling saved him from the decision.

"Perhaps Sheppard you could help me move Tagan's things back into Teyla's quarters." He suggested. John looked up at the man and saw a glint in the man's eye.

"Sure." John replied.

Teyla finally looked up, towards Halling now, concern on her face. "It may be too much of a change for Tagan to be moved so suddenly." She said.

Halling wrapped an arm around Teyla's shoulders, as John had wished he could do, but was pleased that someone had. "Teyla, you are his mother. He has not been happy since you left. I have taken him into your quarters everyday, so it will not feel strange for him there."

"I can never repay you Halling for what you have done." Teyla said her voice tight with emotion.

"It was an honour. I think of you as my family Teyla, you know that, and so Tagan is my family too. And I know you would do the same for me." He said his voice so soothing and strong. He leant in and pressed his forehead to Teyla's over Tagan. Further tears leaked from the corner of her eyes.

John felt the desperate need to make a joke to break the emotional intensity he was feeling, but he didn't. Fortunately she and Halling parted and the man turned to John.

"Come then, let us move Tagan's belongs." Halling's gaze was happy, but John could feel something else from him and John had a sneaky suspicion that Haling had already guessed that things had changed between him and Teyla.

John wasn't sure about how he felt about that, as he was suddenly feeling the impulse to 'explain his intentions' to Halling. He resisted the strange urge, instead following Halling and Teyla out of the Infirmary and back into the familiar corridors of the City.

--

The meeting had gone well so far, but John was far from relaxing. He had written up his report as soon as he had left Teyla and Halling arranging Tagan's things in her quarters. Woolsey had called him into his office barely half an hour after John had handed it in. After some consideration John had followed Teyla's advice on how he reported the details of how he had found her. He didn't directly lie and was pretty clear on that for himself, he had merely swept over some details in the report and only hoped they didn't stand out too much.

Woolsey had asked a couple of questions in general, though he did take the time to scold John on leaving Atlantis how he did. John had apologised, refusing to make any excuses for his behaviour. He would get an officially telling off for that he was sure, and in truth he knew he deserved it. But whether he would lose his position was still up in the air. Woolsey had dismissed him telling him he would be sending the report back to Earth and they would have to wait to see what happens.

John left the office feeling strange, like he was in a state of limbo. It wasn't an entirely new feeling; he had felt something similar during his time in Antarctica. However, now he had more to lose. What would he do if he was recalled to Earth? The thought was worrying and so he pushed it aside, unwilling to even think on it any further. He ambled through the evening corridors of Atlantis. It felt so good to be back, but he was already missing the fireplace. He hadn't realised how cool the colouring of the city was until now, and wished for the golden red hues of firelight again.

Back at his quarters he set about unpacking his bags. Several of Teyla's things were mixed in with his, so he set them aside to take to her later. Then everything set away he sat on the edge of his small empty bed. He thought about going to visit Teyla, but it was late and he wanted to leave her space to be with her son. But, sitting alone in his room he felt very lonely all of a sudden. The prospect of climbing into his old bed alone was not all that inspiring. He hadn't slept alone in over two months and he found he missed her intensely. Maybe she might want to see him? Or was she busy enough with Tagan? He should really leave her time to be alone to reconnect with her son, as she had one male vying for her attention already so she didn't need him as well.

So John set about preparing for bed, the perfectly controlled room temperature around him feeling too warm. He missed the chill in the air from the settlement, which was strange because he hadn't stopped complaining about it whilst he was there. But, then he had Teyla to warm himself against and the complaints had mostly been to encourage her to warm him; which she had always willingly done.

He climbed into his small bed, the sheets cool against his skin and lay back trying to relax enough to sleep. However, his mind was having none of it. He looked up at the cool pale blue painted ceiling above him and once again found himself missing the dancing colours of firelight. The pale blues and greens made his room feel empty and bare.

It felt good to be back in Atlantis, but what now? Seeing Teyla with Tagan had brought back all the home truths; she was a mother now, and they were team members. If their relationship was to continue, he doubted they could remain together on the team. The thought really bothered John. He didn't like to think that she would be in another team, where he couldn't watch her back and trust her to watch his. This had been the best team he had ever been apart of before and the thought of breaking it up was oddly painful. But, what was the alternative? Break up with Teyla? There was no way he was going to do that any time soon. So if he kept his job then he would have to reassign her to another team. He only hoped she wouldn't resent him for it.

Then there was Tagan. John had watched Teyla lay the baby into the crib, once he and Halling had positioned it for her in her quarters. To accept Teyla meant accepting Tagan John realised. And as he lay in the dark a word materialised in his mind; marriage. For the first time he actually thought what he had resisted before; marrying again. His first marriage had not been good. Even from the start he had known it was a mistake, as he had felt pushed into the commitment by the pressures of his father, family and generally 'what was expected of him'. He had no doubt he had loved Nancy, but it had been a very different kind of love to what he felt now.

The emotion rocked him then, and he sat up in bed feeling a light sweat break out over his body. Was he really thinking about marrying Teyla? That felt too huge for him. The cool room suddenly felt too small and warm around him. He took a steadying breath, relieved to taste the salty air over wood smoke. The tangy saltiness felt enlivening and helped to distance him from the emotional memories and feelings associated with the settlement. He was jumping far ahead, he told himself. Marriage was a massive jump. Hell, he hadn't even openly told Teyla how he really felt. He felt she knew; how could she not? He expressed it to her in how he touched her, how he kissed her, how he made love to her. Surely she wouldn't doubt his affection through his desire for her? But, then was he simply ignoring the issue and avoiding telling her face to face, as was his standard avoidance technique in dealing with anything emotional.

Calmed somewhat he lay back down on the bed but another worry burst into his mind; what if Tagan didn't like him? The little guy had been cheerful enough whenever John had seen him, but if John was going to be spending so much time with his mom… It was a strange thought, one which John recognised as preying on his already old issues regarding being accepted and fatherhood. For a moment he contemplated going to see the new city shrink, but dismissed it. He wasn't ready to talk to someone else about Teyla, not until he had spoken to her about telling others. Yet, another issue they needed to discuss.

John turned over onto his side letting out a frustrated breath. He caught himself reaching out for her beside him, looking for the comfort of her touch, of her warmth against the cold inside and outside. But, she wasn't there, leaving him alone with his fears.

--

Tagan struggled up into a seated position with enthusiasm, managing to hold himself upright. Teyla arranged cushions around behind his butt in case he fell. He picked up a toy, waving it in his little hand, passing it to his other hand, then smiling up at her in delight. She made pleased impressed sounds which encouraged him to repeat his new skill.

He had grown so much that Teyla felt rather unnerved in handling him, but she was fast learning how to treat her son. When she had last seen him he had barely been able to hold onto objects, now he was waving them about proudly and gurgling in joy. What she especially hadn't expected was the sensation of his mind when he had seen her. No real thoughts or clear emotions, but definitely he had reached out to her with his mind and in a way she felt he had recognised her more from that connection than from recognising her physically.

The rest of the day and night he had clung to her, completely unwilling to be separated from her for a moment. It had been a difficult night. She had sat beside his crib as he fell asleep and returning when he woke. She had not felt the touch of his mind since, and had not instigated contact herself. He had enough to deal with without her opening up those skills too soon.

This morning she was tired, but Tagan looked happy enough and more relaxed now which meant she could at least move more than a metre away from him. He had now settled happily enough to play with his toys; a mixed selection of Earth stuffed toys, shiny cubes and oddly a wooden spoon.

It was strange to be back in Atlantis. She had found it difficult to fall asleep herself last night; the air warm and her bed empty and cool against her skin. She had lit her candles bringing back the familiar scents of Athos, but it only made her long for the taste of wood smoke in the air. Signing she reached out and stroked Tagan's hair as she wiped his chin, happy gurgles greeting her work. She had wanted to go see John this morning, but she wasn't sure if he was in meetings or even on duty already. It was not a comfortable feeling to be suddenly so unaware of him and what he was doing. She was used to knowing where he was, and how he was feeling.

The door chimes rang breaking her rather dull mood, she called out that they may enter and the doors slid aside to reveal John. He peered cautiously into the room.

She smiled up at him delighted. "You do not have to use the chimes, John. Come in."

He stepped into the room smiling, his eyes falling to Tagan by her. "I didn't want to disturb you if you were busy."

She read between the lines. He had seen her emotional reunion with Tagan yesterday and had left her to be with her son last night. She reached up to him as he approached, as they had done so often over the past weeks. He smiled, tension easing from around his eyes, as he stepped around Tagan's toy explosion to kiss her. He settled down on the floor beside her, his arm stroking across her back briefly. He was looking for their connection again, as she was. It felt so different being back in Atlantis. They sat beside each other on the floor as they had done so often in the settlement, but now it felt like they were huddling together in a strange place. It was an odd thought, as Atlantis was more of her home than any other now. She pushed the feelings aside, knowing they only needed to find their place here now.

"Did you hand in your report?" She asked.

John picked up a small fluffy toy, more for something to distract himself. "Yep and then Woolsey called me into his office."

"What happened?" She asked.

"He had a few questions, said he was going to send the report back to Earth and see what happens. We should hear something today." He said casually, but she saw the concern behind it.

She reached over and slid her hand over his knee. "It will be fine, John."

He nodded.

Tagan giggled and they both looked down to see him holding out the spoon to John. John leant down towards him. "Wow. A wooden spoon. You get all the best toys don't you little guy?" Tagan seemed happy with that and waved the spoon some more towards John, so he took it from him. Tagan giggled again and reached back for the spoon. "I see your game; pass the spoon." John said handing it back.

Teyla couldn't help the joy she felt at seeing John interacting with her son. Emotions moved her and once again she felt her eyes filling up. She had been getting tearful since yesterday and it was so unlike her, but then so much had happened. She sat back and watched John offer Tagan the fluffy toy, which was regretted in favour of the spoon again.

"You must have learnt this from Uncle Rodney, only even interested in anything food related." John said to Tagan in a soft baby voice that she had never heard him use before. Tagan responded to it well, passing a bright red cube to John now. John handed back the cube and looked back up at Teyla. "Things been okay here then?"

She knew he saw the tiredness in her face. "He did not want to let go of me for most of yesterday, and would not settle well last night, but he seems more relaxed this morning. I only hope he will sleep better tonight. Halling said he usually sleeps very well."

"I guess he's worried you are going to disappear again." John commented.

Her door chimed again and they both looked up in surprise. Teyla unwillingly pulled her hand from John's knee and called out; the doors sliding open to reveal Ronon. He entered quickly, his eyes moving over the three of them on the floor.

"Ronon. Come in." Teyla said happily.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Ronon asked his tone suspicious. John glared up at him for a moment, but he only smiled brightly in return.

"Tagan is showing us his toys." Teyla reported.

"Oh, he's really into handing you things at the moment." Ronon said, heading over to them and sitting down on the other side of Tagan. Tagan craned his head up, almost falling backward onto his cushions, but John and Teyla both reached in to support his back. The baby smiled up at Ronon in recognition, then held up the spoon.

Teyla stroked his soft baby hair, so happy to be back with him and that there were people around him who obviously loved and had cared for him.

The doors chimed once again and John leant in to her. "Bet you a bag of cabbages who that will be." Sure enough Rodney peering into the room, worry then a smile on his face as they all looked up at him.

"Hi, oh, you're all here. I was wondering if we were going to start having team breakfasts again?" He asked as he stepped in.

"See always thinking with his stomach." John said to Tagan, before he looked back up at Rodney. "We've been lost for months and all you are interested in is when we all get to eat together."

Rodney sat down on Teyla's plush chair, rather than sitting on the floor.

"No, no. I just thought we would start doing that again."

"He means he is happy to see you too, Rodney." Teyla replied. "And I would love to have breakfast with you all. As long as you do not mind Tagan joining us?"

Ronon jumped to his feet. "Of course not, he's joined McKay and me a couple of times already for a meal or two."

Teyla reached out and lifted Tagan up. "Shall we go and have breakfast with the rest of the team?" She asked and Tagan grinned as he tried to insert the wooden spoon into his mouth.

Together they all headed out of her quarters towards the Mess Hall. John trailed along beside her, teasing Rodney as they went. A happy warm space opened up in Teyla then; her family were finally all back together.

--

TBC