Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, it is owned by Chris Carter and Fox. This is written for fun and not profit.

AN: This will be ongoing as I find time for it. Please read and review and let me know if you like and want more? Reviews make the writing worth it.

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted on this; busy with more original pieces of late. And I want to put in a plug for a fun X-files crossover that I wrote called the Ghost Files. Please check it out.

Summary: A collection of shorts where various people overhear Mulder and Scully and make assumptions…most of the time they are wrong…

Overheard – Part One

By Dark Poltergeist

Captured

The job was easy, an easy gig for a nice sum of money. Two FBI agents were left in his care and all he had to do was to watch them for a few hours. He had been cautioned that this particular set of agents were quite clever, and had managed to get out of more than one dire situation. He didn't care, he only wanted to put in his time and get paid.

He had been set up in a deserted house to keep an eye on them until his boss returned later that evening. They had been knocked out, or drugged, he wasn't sure which. Each one of them had their hands bound together by duct tape as well as their legs, a piece of duct tape was across their mouth, and then they were unceremoniously dumped together on a bed in the small bedroom that he now sat outside of on a very uncomfortable chair.

Ralph sighed and reminded himself although he expected to be bored out of his mind, the money was good; so he could manage to stay awake and keep an eye on them for a very long time if it came to that.

He found his chin resting on his chest a couple of hours later as he woke with a start, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he realized that his prisoners had woken up. Curious, he listened and tried to make sense of the noises he was hearing.

It sounded like mumbling, so they must have gotten the tape off their mouth, but he didn't care as hearing them talk would help him pass the time. They were groaning, no doubt either coming out of the drugs or because they were knocked out. He chuckled at that. Served them right for being such boy scouts. Except that the woman certainly wasn't a boy scout, she was all woman, petite and shapely with fiery red hair. It wondered what she would be like in bed, even though he knew he would never get the chance to find out.

The couple on the bed groaned again, mumbling incoherently, then were silent. After a few moments he heard a soft sound, it was some kind of smacking noise. He puzzled on that for a bit, unsure as to what he was hearing. And then the sound stopped.

Ralph shrugged, but found he was still listening to them. He wondered if maybe they actually were a couple, and he chuckled to himself at his little joke. He really was bored.

"Scully, how long have you been awake?"

"I've been awake for a while."

"Oh," there was some sort of shuffling sound. "Where are we?"

"In bed," came the woman's amused reply.

"How is it that we always seem to end up here?" he said in a low voice.

What was that now? Did he just confess that they did it?

"Not always," she demurred.

There was some silence and that smacking sound again.

"That's not going to get us out of here," the woman said.

"No, but it feels good. But really where are we?"

"I have no idea. A small bedroom in a small house, I'm guessing."

"Great guess."

A small silence again and the sound of them shifting around.

"Mulder?"

"Yes?"

"What is that pressing against me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the man's voice was all innocence.

"You're poking me," she said.

"I'm not, believe me I would know," he teased.

"Mulder!"

Ralph could hear her frustration and chuckled to himself. This could be fun after all.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was my gun?"

"It doesn't feel like a gun."

"My flashlight?"

"That's a pretty big flashlight."

"Thank you," the man said, his ego clearly inflated.

Ralph moved closer, wanting to hear them better. He cursed under his breath when he dropped his thermos on the floor and it rolled into the wall.

The couple grew quiet for a couple of minutes until the smacking sound started, then it stopped and they began to talk again.

"Scully, come here. Closer, that's it, closer."

"What closer? How much closer can we get?"

"I want you to reach for my gun…"

"And do what with it?"

"Well, that's up to you."

Ahh, now we're talking. Come on fella, make a move..

"Here? You must be joking."

"Do I feel like I'm joking?"

"Stop pushing on me, but ohh…."

"Don't you like it just a little bit?"

The two of them groaned in unison, and Ralph couldn't help himself, he inched closer to the doorway.

Live porn was hard to beat.

"Mulder, is that really your gun or are you just happy to see me?" She purred.

"I'm always happy to see you but Scully, this position won't work."

The woman laughed. "You can't even unzip your zipper."

"But maybe you can, even with your hands tied. That's it, just let me just bump up against you…"

Ralph couldn't help it, he had to look. And what he saw almost made him laugh out loud. It looked the male agent was dry humping the woman beneath him. He watched for a moment and then ducked behind the doorframe so that they couldn't see him.

"Mulder, we're at work."

"Not really. And I can't help what you do to me."

There was some shifting on the bed and the sound of panting.

"Oh, is that a…gun," she asked in a sultry voice.

"Yes, and it's all yours…"

"Is it loaded?"

"For you, always…"

Ralph stood up and leaned into the doorway, his ear as close to the doorframe as he could be without revealing himself.

The smacking sound again.

"Christ, Scully, you're killing me," he grinned. "Can you reach it?"

"I think so, just slide over here a bit further so that I can get my hands on it…"

Another groan from the man. "I don't think I bend that way."

"You do now," the woman said cheerfully.

"Can you reach it?"

"Trying…" she mumbled.

Some more shifting and creaking of the bed.

"Scully!"

"It can't be that bad."

"It is, you're making this very… hard," he said in a strained voice.

"Mulder, stop pushing that thing at me. I'm trying to work here."

"Then hold still, you know you want it," he growled quietly.

That's it, let her know what you want. Ralph began to rub the fabric at the front of his pants.

"Now is hardly the time or the place…"

"It's always the time and place with you"

"Hold still so I can pull it out."

"Yes, Ma'am."

A pause and some more creaking of the bed springs.

"Scully?" his voice was raspy.

"Yeah?"

"I like it when you take charge."

"Mulder?"

"Yes?" The man's tone was smug.

"Shut up."

"I bet you'd look good in black leather."

Oh, now that was a thought!

More shifting sounds.

"Really good. Maybe black, thigh high boots…and a riding crop…"

A very good thought! Ralph began to fondle himself.

There was a muffled thump and then a sharp intake of breath.

"Oww! What was that for?" he whined.

"You know what that was for," she snipped. "Not now."

"Oooh, does that mean maybe someday?" There was a note of hope in his voice.

"Mulder!" The woman could not sound any more exasperated.

"Maybe a Harley biker's hat…"

The woman suddenly giggled, unable to contain her laughter. Then there was some soft murmuring and then quiet.

"Don't stop trying, Scully, I'm sure you can reach it and pull it out."

"I'm regrouping. This is much harder tied up."

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

Another noticeable thump.

"Woman! Would you stop doing that?"

"Why? Do you bruise easily?"

"It seems I'm about to find out," he said in a surly voice.

"Mulder, grow up!"

"Don't you like being tied up with me? Think of the stories we'll have…" He huffed in exasperation. "Scully! Please stop moving so much."

"How do you expect me to reach your gun?"

A small silence.

It would almost be worth cutting them loose just so I could watch.

"Okay, fine. Wiggle all you want. Just don't blame me for my reaction."

Some more jostling, murmurs, and groaning ensued.

"Ahh, got it!" The woman declared triumphantly.

"About time."

"Mulder, it's smaller than I thought," her voice was filled with disappointment.

Ralph couldn't help it, he chuckled to himself.

"It's not that small. Careful how you speak about a man's gun!"

"I just expected…well… more…"

"So do you want to use it or not? Cause if you don't, I will."

"Can I watch?" The woman chuckled. "I'd like to see you fire this."

"You want to watch me firing my gun? Ooh, Scully, I'm learning so much about you…"

"If size matters it won't be much of a show."

"You wound me!" He huffed. "Decide what you want to do. Either you take care of this or I will."

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Careful, it's loaded, and it has a sensitive trigger."

"What's the matter, Mulder? I do know how to handle a man's gun. I've handled yours before," she purred.

"Christ, Scully!"

Ralph exhaled slowly, aroused by what was happening in the room next to him.

"That's it, pull it out and use it… you know how…"

"I'll say I do, how's that Mulder? Feel a release yet?"

How close were they? God, she was a hot number.

"Oh, Dana, I've got plans for you," the man said and groaned, a deep low groan that was definitely not due to pain.

Ralph was stroking himself across the fabric of his jeans. God, what he wouldn't do to have that ginger underneath him. Mulder was a lucky bastard.

"I just bet you do. I suppose you want me to fire that gun you're packing…"

"Scully you know the exact right thing to say…" he gave an unexpected gasp.

'Ahh, I see that now. Are you ready?" She was purring again.

I have to see this, I just have to…

Ralph couldn't help himself, as quietly as he could he stepped into the room, and saw the man's body practically covering the woman as she was hidden from sight. He heard the sound of gunfire far too late to do anything about it and fell to the floor unconscious.

What really happened…

Blackness all around, and so think. Mulder struggled to get through it as his conscious mind tried to surface. He had a headache the size of New York, and his mouth tasted like it was stuffed with cotton, but then he realized he couldn't open it up, there was tape on it. He blinked and found that he was staring directly into a pair of blue eyes that he knew all too well. And despite his circumstance, he smiled. If he had to be captured and tied up he couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather be with; he realized there was something wrong with that thought but still he meant it in the nicest possible way. He noted that Scully had somehow worked the tape off, or at least mostly off her mouth, a small corner clung tenaciously to the corner of cheek. He made a face filled with frustration which she found to be funny because she laughed softly. Then she leaned over, and with her mouth somehow found the corner of the tape on his mouth and began to pull on it. It took a bit of work, and he lost a few bits of stubble on his chin, but it was worth it to have her remove the tape from him in such a provocative manner. He knew he shouldn't be thinking of her in a sexy way since they obviously were being held against their will, but she was pressed up against him and all but kissing him as she removed his gag. What was a man to do?

When she finished, she fell on top of him and groaned.

"Scully?" he whispered so no one else could hear. "Are you okay?"

"You mean other than having a headache so bad I can't see straight? Not having a clue why we were taken and are now being held prisoner? And finding myself tied up and waking up in a bed with you?"

"Yeah, that. Except for that last part didn't sound soo bad…"

She head butted his chest and he grunted in pain. They were quiet for a short time as they tried to gather their wits together and shake off the effects of the drug that put them to sleep.

Scully turned her face, only inches away from her partner's, to him and was rewarded with the feel of his warm lips on hers. He grinned at her and she couldn't help grinning back. Then he kissed her, again and again, short playful kisses with the promise of more at a later time.

When they stopped, they gazed into one another's eyes, grinning foolishly.

"Scully, how long have you been awake?"

"I've been awake for a while."

"Oh," he tried to shift around on the bed with little success. "Where are we?"

"In bed," came the woman's amused reply.

"How is it that we always seem to end up here?" he said in a low voice, quietly laughing at her.

"Not always," she demurred.

Laughter in his eyes, he leaned forward and began to kiss her again, this time running his tongue across her lip, asking for her to invite him for more. She did and they spent a couple of minutes kissing.

"That's not going to get us out of here," Scully said.

"No, but it feels good." Mulder tried to raise up on his elbow and look past his partner. "But really where are we?"

"I have no idea. A small bedroom in a small house, I'm guessing."

"Great guess." He looked into her eyes and signaled that he was going to try to change positions so that he could get behind her and possibly remove the tape that bound her hands.

"Mulder?"

"Yes?"

"What is that pressing against me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mulder's voice was all innocence although he knew exactly what she was talking about. Despite his best efforts their activities had him aroused. He tried to squelch his libido for having such scandalous thoughts at a time like this, but it just hadn't worked. He was tied up with Scully, pressed against her backside, and hard.

"You're poking me," she said.

"I'm not, believe me I would know," he teased.

"Mulder!" She ground her teeth in frustration, and not just because they were trapped together.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was my gun?"

"It doesn't feel like a gun."

"My flashlight?"

"That's a pretty big flashlight."

"Thank you," Mulder said, his ego clearly inflated.

There was a sudden loud noise of metal hitting a floor, and then rolling followed by quiet cursing. They looked at each other, realizing that they had a guard just out of their sight. He raised his head and inclined it towards his leg where he kept his small back up gun. Scully raised an eyebrow in disbelief, how had their captors missed it? He grinned at her, nodded his head towards the unseen guard. Then he gave her a couple of noisy lip smacking kisses which almost made her giggle because they were so obvious.

"Scully, come here. Closer, that's it, closer."

"What closer? How much closer can we get?" She meant what she said, they were already pressed tightly up against one another. Her arms weren't bound though, if she could bend at the waist and reach between her legs for his leg, she might be able to get to his gun.

"I want you to reach for my gun…"

"And do what with it?"

"Well, that's up to you." He gave her a lewd smile and she smothered her laughter against the bed.

"Here? You must be joking."

"Do I feel like I'm joking?" He pushed against her sweet, tight ass that she had continuously been shoving at his groin as she tried to bend enough to reach his gun.

"Stop pushing on me, but ohh…." She couldn't help the desire that was pulling at her, especially when she knew what he had hidden, or maybe not so much, under his pants.

"Don't you like it just a little bit?"

The two of them groaned in unison, each trying to restrain themselves.

"Mulder, is that really your gun or are you just happy to see me?" She purred.

"I'm always happy to see you but Scully, this position won't work."

The woman laughed. "You can't even unzip your zipper."

"But maybe you can, even with your hands tied. That's it, just let me just bump up against you…" He said and whispered in Scully's ear that their guard was looking in on them. He was actually trying to get himself in a better position so that she could reach his gun, his real gun, he scolded his libido, but he had a pretty good idea of what it would look like to someone that was observing them.

"Mulder, we're at work."

"Not really. And I can't help what you do to me."

They shifted some more, and she was now on top of him, panting from their exertions, but could feel every inch of him.

"Oh, is that a…gun," she asked in a sultry voice.

"Yes, and it's all yours…"

"Is it loaded?"

"For you, always…"

Just to irritate him for his sexually charged statement she wiggled against him and heard him draw in a breath. He chuckled and raised his head so that he could kiss her again.

"Christ, Scully, you're killing me," he grinned. "Can you reach it?"

"I think so, just slide over here a bit further so that I can get my hands on it…"

Another groan from the man. "I don't think I bend that way."

"You do now," the woman said cheerfully.

"Can you reach it?"

"Trying…" she mumbled.

They shifted some more and the bed creaked beneath them.

"Scully!"

"It can't be that bad."

"It is, you're making this very… hard," he said in a strained voice.

"Mulder, stop pushing that thing at me. I'm trying to work here." She raised an amused eyebrow and looked at him.

"Then hold still, you know you want it," he growled quietly.

"Now is hardly the time or the place…"

"It's always the time and place with you."

She shot him a look of 'really?" and then found the gun strapped to his leg, and concentrated on getting her still tied together hands on it. "Hold still so I can pull it out."

"Yes, Ma'am."

A pause and some more creaking of the bed springs.

"Scully?" his voice was raspy.

"Yeah?"

"I like it when you take charge."

"Mulder?"

"Yes?" The man's tone was smug.

"Shut up."

"I bet you'd look good in black leather."

She shifted some more, still trying to get her hands on that damn gun still strapped to his leg.

"Really good. Maybe black, thigh high boots…and a riding crop…"

She elbowed him in the stomach and he hissed in pain.

"Oww! What was that for?" he whined.

"You know what that was for," she snipped. "Not now."

"Oooh, does that mean maybe someday?" There was a note of hope in his voice.

"Mulder!" The woman could not sound any more exasperated.

"Maybe a Harley biker's hat…"

Scully couldn't take it anymore, she giggled, and unable to contain her laughter at their ridiculous situation and the muddle they were making of things. Mulder chuckled too.

"Don't stop trying, Scully, I'm sure you can reach it and pull it out." He smirked at her.

"I'm regrouping. This is much harder tied up," she was doing her best to ignore him.

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

She smacked him again.

"Woman! Would you stop doing that?"

"Why? Do you bruise easily?"

"It seems I'm about to find out," he said in a surly voice.

"Mulder, grow up!"

"Don't you like being tied up with me? Think of the stories we'll have…"

Scully was wiggling around again, desperately trying to wrap her ungainly hands on that gun.

He huffed in exasperation. "Scully! Please stop moving so much."

"How do you expect me to reach your gun?"

She didn't answer but he could feel her irritated blue eyes looking at him.

"Okay, fine. Wiggle all you want. Just don't blame me for my reaction."

She moved as much as she could, her fingers and hands were so close. She heard Mulder groan and felt him, but ignored him as she finally wrapped her hands around the small gun and pulled it out of its holster.

"Ahh, got it!" The woman declared triumphantly.

"About time, "he grumbled.

"Mulder, it's smaller than I thought," her voice was filled with disappointment.

"It's not that small. Careful how you speak about a man's gun!"

"I just expected…well… more…"

"So do you want to use it or not? Cause if you don't, I will."

"Can I watch?" The woman chuckled. "I'd like to see you fire this."

"You want to watch me firing my gun? Ooh, Scully, I'm learning so much about you…"

"If size matters it won't be much of a show."

"You wound me!" He huffed. "Decide what you want to do. Either you take care of this or I will."

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Careful, it's loaded, and it has a sensitive trigger," he cautioned, and waggled his eyebrow at her.

"What's the matter, Mulder? I do know how to handle a man's gun. I've handled yours before," she purred.

"Christ, Scully!" He felt all of the blood in his body rush to his cock and now he could use it to pound a nail into a board he was so damn hard.

"That's it, pull it out and use it… you know how…"

"I'll say I do, how's that Mulder? Feel a release yet?" She teased him and he groaned.

"Oh Dana, I've got plans for you," the man said and groaned, a deep low groan that was definitely not due to pain.

They heard the sound of a footfall outside of the doorframe and exchanged a look, Mulder would block her from the guard's line of vision with his body so that she could use the gun.

"I just bet you do. I suppose you want me to fire that gun you're packing…"

"Scully you know the exact right thing to say…" he gave an unexpected gasp, but his look told her that he was serious now.

'Ahh, I see that now. Are you ready?" She was purring again, and flicked her eyes towards the doorway.

A middle aged man in jeans and a torn T-shirt, stocky build, greying hair and brown eyes quietly stepped around the corner and into the room, clearly eager to see what was happening as he absently rubbed his crotch. Scully nodded to Mulder who ducked and raising the gun up, she shot the man in the shoulder. He hit the floor with a heavy thud and knocked himself out when his head bounced off the hardwood. Scully breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nice shootin', Tex!" Mulder grinned stupidly at her.

"Thanks. But we still have a problem."

"What would that be, he looks like he's out for a while.

"We have to somehow untie ourselves."

"Hmm. I don't exactly see a scissors and I'm not sure how far hopping around tied up with duct tape will get us."

"It's a metal bedframe, right."

"Right."

"Then maybe we can get it to split the duct tape, and once our hands are free…"

"Good thinking, Scully. You take that side, and I'll take this side." They both hopped over to a side of the bed and began to move the duct tape that bound their hands back and forth against the sharp corners on the bed frame.

"Got it!" Mulder yelled in triumph as his hands became free. He got up and hopped over to a nearby desk, and rifled through it, looking for something to cut the cursed tape. He found a small children's scissors and looked at it in dismay. But it was still better than nothing. He began to cut at the tape between his feet, when he heard Scully's similar cry of triumph.

"Scully, I'll be over as soon as this scissor's gnaws it way through the tape."

"Okay, Mulder."

A few minutes, later Mulder was free, and hurried over to Scully and handed her the scissors. Then he went outside of the room, found the duct tape and tied up their guard.

"Now let's get out of here before his partners arrive, and call this one in."

"Let's go," Scully stood up as the duct tape holding her ankles together finally released.

"So Scully, you're really good with my gun," he said as they walked down the hallway.

"I know, Mulder."

"No, did you get it? Gun as it…"

"Yeah, I got it. And yes, I'm very good with your gun. In fact, I thought maybe we could practice firing it later…" she said and laughed.

"Ohh, now you're talking. There's no one else that I'd rather have using my gun…."

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Their guard was taken into custody and except for a few bruises, both Mulder and Scully were declared fit; all effects of the drug used to subdue them were gone from their bodies.

It was a day later and he was in the kitchen of Scully's apartment, cleaning up after a shared dinner. He was looking forward to a not too quiet evening with his partner since he was there for the night. He picked up the glass of wine he hadn't finished and turned around as he heard Scully enter the kitchen.

"Holy Shit!" The glass of wine slipped out of his hands and shattered on the floor as he regarded the woman before him. Scully, his Scully was dressed in short, black leather shorts, a black leather vest that displayed her bare shoulders, and had lacing on the side revealing a tantalizing view of her curvy breasts, and a plunging neckline that took his breath away. She wore black leather boots that stopped just below her knees, a Harley biker's hat, and carried a short riding crop in her hand. All of this was offset by the small golden cross she wore in its usual spot nestled at the base of her neck. He could barely contain the rush of desire that flooded his senses, making it difficult to even think as he stiffened immediately and stared at her.

"Christ, Scully, you're…you're…" His brain was refusing to engage with his mouth, rendering him mostly incoherent.

She chuckled at the effect his state of dress was having on him. "Close your mouth, Mulder, you look like a fish out of water." She frowned and looked down at the shattered shards of glass on the floor. "And clean up the mess."

"Yes, Ma'am," he said in an obedient voice and immediately did as instructed.

She gave him an odd look and chuckled as he quickly finished his task while she absently slapped the crop against her hand. When he was done he went to stand in front of her and she couldn't help but notice his interest.

"Saluting, Mulder?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he rumbled in his sex voice and she found herself getting rather moist.

"Come with me," she said and he followed her to the bedroom where he stopped and looked at her, waiting for further instruction.

She laughed at him. "Really, Mulder?"

"Really, Scully. Use me, honey, I'm all yours."

"Jesus! If I had known dressing like this is all it takes for you to be submissive I would have done this a long time ago.

His hazel eyes were dark and filled with smoldering desire for her. She stepped close enough to him so that she could run her crop lightly over him and proceeded to do so. Along his face, down his throat, across and down his chest, down his abdomen, and then across his very stiff appendage.

"Oh, my," she said and he shuddered and hissed at the contact. "I think I'm going to have to cuff you to the bed and have my way with you…once you take off your clothes…"

Before she could say anything else he had peeled off his clothes. Then he was lying across the bed, naked, limbs stretched to all four corners.

Scully giggled. "Who knew you were so easy?"

"Shut up, woman, and get on with it! I'm waiting to be ravished! And more than once."

"Well, you're obviously up for it…"

"You have no idea Sensitive trigger though…could go off at any time…"

"I can't believe you never told me about this fantasy," she said as she retrieved her handcuffs.

"I did, but you didn't believe me." He blinked and gathered his thoughts together for a few moments. "Scully, what's yours?"

"One of them is similar, except I see you, sweaty, in a torn shirt, dirty jeans, desperate…" she breathed, her eyes glazed with desire.

"More the excepted felon rather than the law enforcement type…"

"Yeah," she gave him a weak smile.

Mulder laughed. "I will keep that in mind and promise to return the favor at a future date. But for now…" He gestured to himself.

"Ahh, yes. You've been a very bad boy. Are you prepared to pay for your transgressions?" She asked with the raise of a Scully eyebrow.

"Yes, Ma'am," he said as she cuffed him to the bed.

"I think it's time for you to atone…"

Mulder closed his eyes as this particular fantasy continued to play out for him, and he knew he was with the most incredible woman in the world.

That was his last coherent thought for a very long time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

AN: Thanks for reading and please send reviews and let me know if you're still interested in more!