The glimpse he had of his partner's softer side disappeared shortly after that night. They had carpooled to PT and therapy for the past two weeks but she had said little and ignored him a lot. He chose not to push her figuring she was working through everything like he was, with Joe.
Jimmy hadn't thought much of therapy before. In fact, the last time he was forced to attend, he had just gone through the motions to get back to work. With everything that was happening with Annie, he had gone in this time more desperate. It must have opened his mind.
But it hadn't opened hers. It certainly had not improved her demeanor. Every day they shared a living space but no words. They shared transportation but no feelings. It was becoming a black hole.
It was dragging him down, affecting his therapy and his rehab. It was slowing his progress. Still, he held in there praying for a break through. The outlook was looking decidedly dimmer every day.
That afternoon, he sat in the loft reading the newspaper pretending all was well. Just then the door opened and in walked Annie and 59.
He looked over the back of the couch, "Hey, the team wants to meet at the bar for drinks and something to eat. You wanna go?"
She shook her head and walked stiffly over to the kitchen to feed her pup.
"Come on, Boots. Let's go out. It'll be fun!" Jimmy was ready to relax and get back to normal.
Annie rolled her eyes and popped her hand on her hip. "Fine. What time?"
"They wanna meet at 6:15."
"Okay." She was grinning on the inside ready for some normalcy. The daily therapy sessions irritated her and she was making no progress at all. She did not trust anyone, especially Joe and she had padlocked her inner walls in the up position.
But Jimmy? Jimmy was still there. Even when she treated him like crap, even when she took her anger at what had happened to her out on him, even with her need to always be in control, he had not left. It was starting to ease her mind that she could count on him to be there for her. She was beginning to find comfort in his silence. He did not force her to say the things she wasn't ready to talk about or confront the things she hadn't figured out how to take on yet.
-\\-
That night the band was playing a particularly popular tune as the H.E.A.T. team gathered at their usual table. Marco was telling another of his hilarious stories and they all were drinking beer and enjoying the evening.
At one point Annie got up to use the bathroom. He caught her eye and mouthed, "you okay?" She smiled big and nodded to alleviate his concern. He smiled back and re-engaged in the conversation.
Daisy saw her go and got up to follow her. She gave Jimmy a wink and a smile and he smiled his thanks.
In the quiet of the bathroom, Daisy could finally be heard. She waited for Annie to approach the sink to wash her hands. They were blissfully alone. She took a deep breath and looked at the blonde's reflection in the mirror.
"You aren't talking to the Therapist, are you?"
Annie looked up stunned, "What?" She shook her hands in the sink as if to dry them and headed to get a paper towel.
Daisy was leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. She was never known for beating around the bush and her best friend usually appreciated that. But this time Annie was sore and not in the mood to be directed down that painful path of dealing with her feelings.
"I am not in the mood to talk about this." She went to walk past Daisy and out the door but she could not get past.
"You are destroying my friend and your best friend. You beat him down and he takes it. He will keep taking it hoping YOU get better! But I think it will kill his spirit first."
Both women paused and just stared at each other. Annie was panting in pent up anger. Her face was flushed. Daisy looked unaffected, strong and uncompromising. Inside she was devastated to see her friend had made no progress. And she had had enough of her fooling everyone.
"You have no idea what you are talking about." Annie's voice was low and dangerous but Daisy remained steadfast. "I am not going to talk to you about this. It is NONE of your business." She shoved by her friend and back into the bar area.
Daisy rolled her eyes. This had not been the result she was hoping for. She went to follow.
-\\-
It was the start of her eighth therapy session and she was infuriated that Jimmy seemed to be happily working through his issues. Of course he was on session number twelve so maybe he was more practiced.
She still found it difficult to open up to Joe. He kept demanding that she tell him what she was feeling but she didn't trust him. So she sat there silently as she had at the beginning of the past 7 sessions.
"Annie, do you want me to schedule an appointment with another therapist for you? I get the feeling that you and I just aren't working out."
She squinched up her forehead and looked at him, "I can change therapists?"
"Yea, of course you can. In fact, I have a colleague in the room next door. She is temporarily sharing an office while they renovate her office at the HPD headquarters."
This was odd. It was like he just had an extra one laying around that he could plug her into. But she remembered what Jimmy had said, she needed to learn to be more flexible with therapy. She nodded and he left the room.
A couple of minutes later, a short brunette marched in. She walked straight up to Annie sitting on the couch and held out her hand "hi, I am Melanie."
Annie took it and shook it, "I'm Annie."
"Yes I know. Joe has asked me to meet with you. Is that okay?"
Ugh son of a bitch. She was going to have to talk to this little woman about her problems? This was torture. But she nodded anyway.
"So tell me what happened. I want to know the whole story and you are lucky because my schedule is clear today. That means that we can go past the hour so I can hear it all." She was very demanding.
The blonde marshal rolled her eyes. The very last thing she wanted to do right then was tell this diminutive woman about her nightmare. But the woman was very demanding and soon she was an hour into the session reliving scene after scene. She told the story in a very clinical fashion stringing events together as if it was evidence.
The walls were up and Melanie could see them easily. She stopped the monotonous narration abruptly. Annie jerked from her trance not sure what to do.
"So you were kidnapped in your robe and underwear from your bathroom? I thought you had a very large dog named after a street or something. Where was he when you were taken?"
Annie flinched. It was NOT her wonderful dog's fault he was…"out on a walk. He was out on a walk."
"Outside like in your yard?"
"No, he was on a walk. Someone was walking him."
"Who? Who was walking him?"
"Why are you asking me these questions?" Annie felt violated. Was this petite woman insinuating the kidnapping was her fault? She was attempting to batten down the hatches on her inner walls but holes kept appearing and she was starting to freak out.
"Just interested in the story. So you said that your dog was on a walk while you were in the shower. You were home alone even though the chief had instructed that you be careful and aware. Would he have been okay with you being home alone?"
The blonde stood up. "I am finished with this." She headed toward the door steaming with anger.
"You are going to sit right back down and finish this. You were not home alone, were you?"
Annie turned on her heel. "Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said." The little therapist's voice remained calm and stern. "Sit back down….. now…and answer my question."
Her heart pounded almost out of her chest. She was seeing spots she was so angry. "I do not need this and I do not need you." She turned toward the door to leave but was stopped in her tracks.
"Oh so you are just going to take care of all of this your way? Rely only on yourself? Certainly not let anyone in to help you, right? You can deal with all of this on your own."
"Look, counting on anyone is a waste of time! People either let you down or you let them down. It just makes things too complicated."
"Your team worked tirelessly to find you. Your partner snuck out of the hospital with broken ribs and a re-inflated lung to find you and save you. A bounty hunter put his life on the line to cross the border to hunt you down." The therapist stopped and looked pointedly at Annie. "It doesn't sound like THEY let YOU down. So how did you let them down?"
Annie looked at the ground. She was absolutely furious. She could not deal with this any longer. This insane woman was trying to tell her that SHE had put her entire team in jeopardy? She made for the door.
"Walk out of this room, Annie. That is your choice. But if you walk away from the facts, you are no U.S. Marshall." The guest therapist sat there. She had said her piece. Joe was right, this was one hard nut to crack.
The patient paused and turned. Her voice was firm and laced with frustration, "I protected myself. I saved a plane full of people. I almost escaped on my own more than once. I did those things. I didn't let anyone down." And she stormed out.
Right into Jimmy. "Do you always have to stand out here and wait for me?"
He raised his eyebrows in response. He had been just walking by and clearly had the bad timing to run into a furious partner. She just limped down the hall fuming leaving him to exhale loudly and drop his head. Great. This was going to be another long day.
Reluctantly he turned to follow her. He knew she would be at the truck pacing like a ticked off rocking horse. Her limp always became more pronounced when she was furious.
Exactly as he had predicted, there she was. Stomp. limp. Stomp. limp. It would have been comical if he hadn't seen the look of complete fury on her face.
Slowly he approached. He was going to let her do all the talking. Maybe by releasing some steam she could calm down and become more rational.
She had been shoving the welling anger and frustration down for too long and she was losing control. Her headache was pounding. It reminded her of the plane. The plane. Then being dragged through the golf course.
Suddenly her breathing became labored, caught between gasping and sobbing. She bent over to try to get her breath back as she felt the walls caving in on her.
He had been watching this stewing for weeks. He knew it was coming. "What's going on, Boots." He knew he had to say it to get her started. He wanted to grab her and hold her tight but his sessions with Joe had him better prepared. She needed to work this out on her own. But he could not leave her to face it alone or unprepared.
He heard Joe's words in his head, "She needs to talk to her therapist, Jimmy. You cannot be responsible for her rehab." But he struggled to see how Joe could be so certain about a course of action. He did not know their past. He could not understand their relationship.
Jimmy watched as she leaned against the wall, her hand to her head. He knew she was gathering herself up to plug the holes in her walls. In her mind, only Jimmy had seen this breakdown. It was unclear to him why she seemed okay with that.
Once her walls were back in place, she quickly shoved the memories into the bulging box to deal with another day. She stood up, cleared her face of all emotion and climbed into the truck. "Let's go."
Shaking his head, he climbed into the driver's seat and complied.
