Chapter 6: Rumble in Rio

Integra informed Alucard and their new ally, Pip Burnagrot, of the inquisitor's information regarding their enemy's whereabouts on the Planet Rio.

The two of them were currently on a small shuttle craft, heading for the heretic world protected by the Tau Empire.

However, the ork boss had a small complaint. "I get dat you an me are da tuffest of our forcez, but why don't me an da boyz just trash da whole planet, it'd be a lot fasta."

Alucard smiled at the ork's straightforward approach. "It would, but our enemies are cowardly, at the first sight of an invasion, they would leave the planet to it's fate, we would kill the inquisition's enemies, not ours." The chaos lord explained.

"Okay, dat makes sense, but won't dey run at da sight ov us too?" The greenskin asked while lighting one of his namesake orkoid fungus cigars made from disappointing grots.

"Quite the contrary my friend, the enemy will be foolish enough to believe the lack of reinforcements will make us easy prey, that's why we're visiting as tourists rather than sneaking onto the planet, we're the bait." Alucard explained, earning a smile from the ork.

"HA! Dey wouldn't be da first ta tink a boss was nuthin widout his boyz, stupid gitz." Pip guffawed at the foolishness of their opponents.

"And even if they somehow prove themselves too much for us, we are sneaking some reinforcements in." Alucard stated.

Meanwhile, Ceras was hoping they'd land soon, she was starting to get claustrophobic in the crate she was stashed in within the shuttle's cargo hold.

The Planet Rio

The chaos lord was a spectacle even without his armor, every eye was on the 8 foot astartes wearing formal wear, a black suit with a bright red trench coat and matching hat and bright orange sunglasses.

The ork boss was less of a spectacle, struggling ork bosses fresh from defeat were actually a welcome sight on struggling planets, as they were desperate enough to use their monstrous strength to earn transportation to the nearest ork world, some veteran retreaters such as Gorgutz Eadunter even had the forsight to steal human accepted currency to procure such things faster and an ork's lack of knowledge in such currency's value made them easy to scam.

Pip carried the crates that secretly contained the guardswoman and Alucard's power armor, while the chaos lord checked into the hotel.

"Welcome sir, how may I hel-AHH!!" the man at the desk finally looked up at his customer and almost died of fright.

"I'm looking to procure the penthouse suite for a few nights." Alucard said, brandishing more credits than the man had ever seen in his life.

"uh Y-yes sir, ju-just l-let me s-see some ide-denti- *ahem* identification please." The man finally shook off the shock, though was still visibly terrified.

His fear only amplified when Alucard pointed a finger at him and lowered his head just enough that the sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose and exposed his eyes.

"I'm looking to procure the penthouse suite for a few nights." Alucard whispered.

"Yes sir... let type that in for you... there... enjoy your stay sir." The man said to no one in particular.

"Huh, dat's a noice trik, ow'd you do dat?" asked Pip.

"A little gift from an old friend." Alucard vaguely answered with a smirk.

Later

"Still don't like being so far away, da enemy attacks eitha one ov us and it would take a good minute before da ovva could elp em out." The ork boss griped about the distance between the nearest hotel in the human and xenos occupied areas of the planet.

"It can't be helped, although I'm sure you can handle yourself well enough Mr. Burnagrot." Alucard said.

"Oh, I ain't worried about me, I just don't want nuthin appenin to ya liddell elper till I getz ta kill er myself iz all." Pip stated matter of factly.

"Heh, I look forward to seeing that battle when this is over, until then Pip Burnagrot." Alucard bidded the ork boss farewell as he closed the door to his room.

The ork turned on his heel and lit up another cigar and heard the very distinct sound of hastily retreating footsteps. "Hmph guess it's too late ta kill dere scout, oh well, da fun'll start soon. hehe hehe hahaha."

That Night

The heretical guardsmen wore the same armor and wielded the same weapons as they did before they deserted, and had the same ignorance as well.

All they knew is what their superiors told them, a chaos lord of the world eaters legion had arrived on the planet, the poor fools had no way of knowing that their superiors were seeking the favor of Slaneesh.

Upon the sergeant's signal, the first man kicked open the door and they rushed in.

The chaos lord made no attempt to hide himself, they found him standing in the middle of the room, wearing his crimson power armor bearing the insignia of Terra Prime locked in a set of demonic jaws, and bearing a 4 bladed ax in his right hand and a plasma gun in his left.

Without a second's hesitation, the Sergeant ordered his men to open fire upon the monstrous astartes, the dark room was illuminated by several bright red flashes from dozens of lasguns.

The chaos lord was shot to pieces even in spite of his armor and collapsed in a bloody heap.

The guardsmen all breathed a sigh of relief when he died, they only knew from stories what these horrible warriors were capable of, but that's all they cared to know.

"Dogs"

Every guardsman's hair stood on end, and when they looked to the sound of the voice, they saw the chaos lord's blood flowing back into his broken body, which had begun to heal.

"That was a good try." the chaos lord said to them as he began to stand up.

"But I cannot be killed by dogs..." He revealed his face to his opponents as his mouth pulled back together, bearing his weapons for the coming slaughter.

"It takes a man to kill a monster." And with that, Alucard lunged at the nearest guardsman, the sergeant, and beheaded him with a swing of his ax.

The guardsmen tried to shoot him down again, but he was too fast.

Alucard didn't even bother shooting them with his plasma gun, even holstering it, as he cut them down one by one.

The two farthest managed to make it out of the room and praised the emperor that the door was still intact, a guardsman closed the door and locked it as fast as he could.

"Yes, lock the door." The guardsman's blood ran cold as he recognized the chaos lord's voice, he turned to see the horrifying astartes holding the other guardsman's severed head with his free hand, the last remnants of the warp portal dissappearing behind him.

The last guardsman shot at Alucard, but it was no use. "MONSTER!!" He screamed in terror.

"Yes I am, and what does that make you who would stand against me soldier, A man, A dog... A monster." The world eater smiled at the last suggestion.

The guardsman gave a silent prayer for forgiveness to the emperor... before putting the barrel of his lasgun beneath his chin and shooting himself in the head.

Ceras, who had been told to get some rest, was rudely awakened by the commotion, and by the time she had equipped her weapons and rushed out, it was over.

The guardswoman grimaced at the familiar sight of her colleagues butchered without mercy, but still noticed Alucard walking towards her.

"Is there going to be a problem, guardswoman?" he asked as he noticed her distaste.

"No master, I stand ready to reinforce you." The guardswoman shook off her distaste as she has many times before, Alucard smiled and nodded before proceeding to exit the hotel.

Alucard opened the doors and walked out ready for a fight, unsurprisingly, reinforcements had arrived.

Several imperial heretics and some tau fire warriors aimed their weapons at the astartes.

Alucard walked past the first few and they immediately opened fire on him.

Quicker than a bolt of lightning, Alucard whirled around and blasted them with his plasma gun.

Death screams resounded louder than any of the gunfire as Alucard removed limbs and left smoking holes with every shot.

When their numbers dropped to a quarter of what they once were, they ran for the elevator, some dropping their weapons, and half of the fleeing soldiers being gunned down as they ran.

Around ten to twelve made it to the elevator, when they did, Alucard stopped firing and started walking.

The guardsman nearest the control panel started to desperately press the ground floor button, as he did, he dared to chance a look at the impending doom approaching them, and looked into his glowing red eyes.

The elevator doors shut and the survivors breathed a sigh of relief... until they opened again.

A fire warrior turned and saw that the guardsman had begun pressing the emergency stop button repeatedly, staring blankly with glowing red eyes.

In their desperation, the survivors pulled and shouted at their brainwashed comrade to no avail, before gunning him down and throwing him out of the elevator.

The dying man was released from the mind control just in time to see Alucard put his plasma gun to the man's head and finish him off with a smile.

The elevator doors began to close again, only for Alucard to put his plasma gun between them.

"Open Sesame." Alucard said as he pulled the doors open and walked into the elevator, the soldiers too terrified to do anything.

"Good job soldiers." Alucard congratulated the men for doing all they possibly could against him.

"And good night." He grinned from ear to ear as he raised his ax, the soldiers could only scream as it came down on them again and again as the elevator doors finally closed.

The screaming continued along with the sounds of steel rending flesh as the elevator slowly descended to the ground floor.

When the elevator stopped and it's doors opened, Alucard alone stepped out, his ax and armor dripping with human and tau blood, behind him, only pieces remained.

In front of him, however, he could hear the heartbeats of one final ambush.

Outside the hotel, the gunfire had attracted several frightened civilians who wanted to know what was going on, several local peacekeepers were trying to ensure them that nothing was happening, but that was disproven when suddenly, several guardsmen and fire warriors were flung through the hotel's windows, soaring high through the air, before being impaled by conveniently placed flag poles.

Every onlooker screamed in horror, which only intensified when the blood drenched world eater walked out the front door.

Everyone backed away, praying the servant of the blood god would spare them, all... except one.

"Hmm, you're as powerful as I expected, I doubt you even wore yourself out with that massacre." A voice spoke through a radio as a taller figure emerged from the sea of onlookers, Alucard was surprised by the rarity of his opponent.

"A tau that has fallen to chaos, hmph, you don't see that every day." He said as he sized up the Tau commander, he wore a reddish brown battle suit with a jet pack, two shoulder mounted missile pods, and two missile pods where his hands should be.

"Yes, I have heard the tales of the incredible power servants of the dark gods can wield, and have long since tired of fighting for a futile cause, there is no greater good in this universe, only the lesser of countless evils." The tau said to the chaos lord.

"And you believe the prince of excess is such an evil, I'm curious, how did you come to such a ridiculous conclusion, Mr..." Alucard promted the tau to give his name and back story.

"I am Commander Tu'blacare Ala'hambra, a few years ago, a warp storm swallowed my ship, I alone survived, but not before encountering Lord Slaneesh, he tortured me endlessly... and I enjoyed it... he gave me the greatest of pleasures... and it was agony. And now, I am tasked with spreading this gift to all corners of existence so that all may know the ecstacy... of damnation." Commander Ala'hambra ranted as though he were preaching.

Alucard merely scoffed, this tau was obviously nuts. "So you and your allies wish to bring this madness to Britain do you, hmph, I hope you aren't expecting me to allow that."

This time, it was the tau's turn to scoff. "Hmph, I don't know how you plan to stop us... WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!!" And with that, the tau oped fire from all four pods.

Alucard waited for the right time, than leaped from the blast zone.

The minute his feet touched the ground, the tau fired again, this time when Alucard dodged, the explosion killed a handful of civilians who, for some reason, hadn't fled the scene.

The process repeated two to three more times before Alucard found a window of opportunity to return fire with his plasma gun, but Commander Ala'hambra merely activated his jet pack, causing Alucard to unintentionally add to the collateral damage... not that he minded.

The tau fired at him from the air, Alucard somersaulted out of the way and shot at the tau's landing zone, the shot hit him in the throat, but he disappeared in brightly-colored static, a hologram!

Before Alucard could start looking for him, an explosion from behind knocked him to the ground.

"Time to end this." The tau said as missiles that he had fired into the air previously descended on Alucard en mass, resulting in a brilliant explosion.

Commander Ala'hambra chuckled to himself until- "HEY GRAYSKIN!!"

The tau commander whirled around to see Alucard flying above him with... daemon wings!?

"You missed." And with that, Alucard flew to the top of the hotel laughing like a crazed maniac.

The tau activated his jet pack and gave chase.

Meanwhile

A ship carrying the latest recruits for the emperor's children, including the corrupt officers that sent their men to die, was preparing to leave Rio.

The traitors anticipated the pleasures that awaited them for their devotion to the prince of pleasure, but suddenly, the engines stalled.

Before anyone had a chance to ask what was going on, the door opened up.

"WAAAGH!" Having been informed of the ship's location and the likelihood of the enemy officers trying to escape, Pip Burnagrot assaulted the ship with absolute zeal, cutting down the ones closer to him with his chainsword, and gunning down the ones further from him with his looted space wolf bolter pistol.

It took roughly 20 seconds to kill them all, much to the ork's disappointment, but he shrugged it off and left a "gift" inside the shuttle before walking away, lighting up a cigar and humming his favorite song.

"We can WAAAGH if we wannu, we can leave yer gitz behind, cause yer gitz don' WAAAGH an if dey don' WAAAGH dan dey'z no gitz o mine." as he sang the last note his "gift" detonated, causing the entire ship to explode behind him.

"Well, dat's de end ov dat, I wonda iv dere's anyone elze fa me to zogg... prolly not, dat Ally boy iz a right greedy git."

Meanwhile

Alucard had been struck down yet again, he lay in a pool of his own blood as Commander Ala'hambra landed behind him. "Enough games human, let's end this."

As the tau said this, Alucard began to laugh as he rose to his feet, startling the tau.

"What's so funny?" he asked the world eater.

"Oh, apologies, it's just been so long since I heard someone call me a human, but enough pleasantries, Commander Ala'hambra." Alucard turned and faced his enemy, bearing his weapons and emitting a hot pink aura of warp energy.

The tau commander met his challenge with yet another missile barrage.

The smoke cleared, and Alucard had lost his weapons, but was emitting an even more ominous aura as several eyes grew from him.

"What?" Remarked the shocked tau.

However, the next attack came from neither combatant, Ceras had secretly set up a sniper's nest on another rooftop and began firing at the tau commander, destroying one of his shoulder mounted missile pods.

"Damned gue'la bitch." Ala'hambra muttered as he activated a full body force field.

Ceras traded out weapons to a rifle with more explosive ammunition. "Block this."

The tau countered the explosive round with a missile, but the explosion was still enough to destroy his shield and knock him down.

The tau picked himself up and prepared for a counterattack... when he noticed a large shadow behind him.

Realizing it was Alucard, Commander Ala'hambra turned to fire on him, but Alucard grabbed his wrists and pointed them away from him, simultaneously kicking his leg so hard, the armor shattered like glass and his leg bent backwards, the bone protruding from the flesh.

Alucard smiled and waited for the tau commander to recover, as Ala'hambra reeled from the agonizing blow, a peculiar thing came to his mind, Alucard's armor had changed.

The blood drenched crimson ceramite armor of a world eater was now a darker red loyalist armor, but only bits and pieces remained colored, the rest was painted over with blood and ash, including the insignia.

Ala'hambra snapped out of his daze and tried to thrust his right arm into Alucard and fire every missile at point blank range.

Alucard smiled and clenched his left fist and met the tau's attack head on.

Warp energy exploded from Alucard's fist and reflected the detonating missiles, turning Ala'hambra's right arm into paste.

The tau let out blood curdling scream, but was allowed no rest this time as Alucard ripped off his helmet and bit into his neck.

As the world eater fed Ala'hambra's soul to the Greater Daemon inside him, his memories flowed through Alucard's mind his childhood on tau prime, being torn from the woman he loved because she was from a different caste, his corruption, finding his beloved again, now married to a man from the same caste and carrying his child, not for love, but for the greater good.

Ala'hambra killed the woman's family and violated her in the name of Slaneesh, she still rejected him, so he killed her and pledged his life to spreading the influence of the prince of pleasure, which led him to a warband born from the 3rd legion.

As Alucard saw the face of their leader, and began laughing and applauding the coming war, he knew this heretic.

"M-Master?" Ceras Victoria had made her way to the hotel's rooftop.

"Oh, it's nothing, did the greenskin do his part?" Alucard inquired.

"Yes sir, the heretics have all been killed and the local authorities have learned of their existence, planet side investigations and the arrest of other potential traitors have already begun." The guardswoman revealed her past as she spoke at attention in a very militaristic manner, causing Alucard to chuckle, which in turn revealed this Ceras who started blushing.

The rest of the night went on without incident, the champions of Khorne and their ork companion spent the night in the same hotel room in case of a larger counterattack, anytime someone came to take away the bodies and discovered them, they met Alucard's gaze and forgot what they saw.

They had no means to contact Governess Integra and tell her the enemy's reinforcements had been cut off, but she had informed them before they left that after the first night someone would be sent to either send them home or reinforce them.

As dawn broke, Ceras and Pip were fast asleep, but Alucard remained awake, plagued by the demands of the Bloodthirster bound to him that he satisfy the daemon's need for carnage, but he refused, so long as it wasn't in the service of the emperor, he refused.

The mental battle was interrupted, and the sleepers awakened, when the door to their room was blown from it's hinges.

The smoke cleared... revealing Captain Alexander Anderson, who walked right up to Alucard and punched him in the face.

The world eater smiled and returned the blow, the two of them having an all out slugging match.

"I GROW TIRED OF THIS ANDERSON!!" Alucard shouted as he materialized his ax and drew his plasma gun.

Anderson responded in kind by drawing his power swords.

Before the melee could continue, Anderson noticed Ceras going for her rifle and threw one of his swords at her.

The guardswoman saw her life flash before her eyes, but the sword impaled the wall beside her head without touching her, attached to the blade, a boarding pass for a private shuttle.

As Ceras fainted, Anderson explained his appearance. "As much as it makes me sick, I'm under orders from Inquisitor Maxwell to grant you leave of this worthless planet, now if you would be so kind as to get out my sight before I change my mind, that'd be perfect, and take your trigger happy harlot with you, and the alien."

As Anderson pointed to Pip, the ork started snickering. "Man, I don' know what's funnier, dem inquisition boyz strong armin a tin can into elpin uz... or da fact dat ya obviously aven't seen what I did to da statue ov Big E." The ork sang the last letter startling even Alucard as he realized he was referring to the statue of the God Emperor.

Later

Pip's howling laughter was deafened by the ship's engines, which were deafened themselves by Anderson's vengeful scream of rage as he beheld the sight of the statue in question bearing orkish graffiti and a sash atop it that read.

DA GROT EMPRAH OV HUMIE GITZ

Author's Note:

And that, is, that. three things have been hinted at in this chapter, two hints to Alucard's identity and orgins, and the fact that I'm still green when it comes to 40k.

Most of my knowledge comes from the YouTube channel "One Mind Syndicate" and the Dawn of War game series.

I made up that thing about the orks on struggling worlds so you would know why no one was freaking out about a ten foot ork walking around in broad daylight.

I don't know if the 40k currency is called credits, I apologize if I got that wrong.

The reason Ceras didn't freak out is because this version of her is a guardswoman, not a police girl, so she's grown accustomed to this sort of thing, unlike her canon counterpart.

I know tau are the least influenced by chaos, but it does happen on occasion. (Because everything happens on occasion in this crazy ass universe)

Pip's song is a fanmade ork song on YouTube titled "We can WAAAGH" (it's a heavy metal parody of we can dance) I don't remember who made it, but it's criminally underviewed.

And in passing, a message to my latest listener, Nullsilver2005, I am not stopping this story till it's done, but I noticed you also have an interest in "monster or mutant" I started this story and "Elfen Lied: Dinosaur Queen" as an experiment to see if I could juggle more than one story and decided against it.

And the next story has already been promised to someone who finally voted on a vote I put in my very first fic "An Author's Rampage", so my next fic is going to be a RWBY/Elfen Lied crossover, but if you're willing to wait that long, I'll get it next, if not, I invite you to adopt the story yourself and later, I'll complete my version and maybe even take inspiration from your version.

Until Next Chapter...