Note: Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed the story so far! You guys are all great and I thank you for your encouragement!! There's still a few chapters left to go here, so without further adieu, here's Chapter Seven…
CHAPTER SEVEN – DECISIONS
Castle burst into the precinct, glancing quickly at his watch again. He had made it with time to spare, so he slowed down to catch his breath. As he made his way through the bullpen, he spotted Beckett alone in the break room. He stopped in his tracks, an immediate smile spreading across his face.
Suddenly and without warning, Castle got a feeling he had never felt; butterflies. He had run through this scenario in his head the entire way here, so sure of what he would say and do when he saw her. Now, he was frozen there, unable to do anything but watch her and wonder what she would say or do. As unsure as he felt at this very moment, it was oddly exhilarating at the same time. He loved the fact that she had this type of effect on him.
He took a deep breath, as if summoning all of his courage for what he knew would be a life-changing moment, and took a step towards her.
Before he could get very far, he noticed someone else move in the break room. Demming. Of course, Castle thought to himself. He must have been sitting down the whole time, just out of sight. Rick stopped and watched as Demming gently pulled Beckett towards him. He studied the look on her face as she locked eyes with Tom and he leaned in and kissed her. It was short but sweet from what he could tell, the very sight of them together like that sending a sharp pain through his chest. Demming moved to the side of Beckett, both now leaning against the coffee bar. Tom put his arm around Kate and she leaned into him. The smile on her face would have normally brought a similar smile to Castle's, but at this moment, knowing he wasn't the one making her feel that way, it just dug the knife a little deeper inside of him.
All of his doubts and fears came crashing back, hitting him like a ton of bricks. She was happy, that much he knew. He could go in there right now, tell her how he felt, how he had fallen for her harder than he ever thought possible, that she was everything he had ever wanted and all that he needed. But what if none of that mattered to her? What if she didn't share those feelings? Or worse, what if she already had those feelings for Demming? What if all it did was ruin their friendship and their partnership? He couldn't stand the thought of losing her completely. Then again, what if she did have those same feelings for him? What if she had just been waiting for him to make the first move, unsure of his feelings? What if he could have her in his life, in all parts of his life?
Castle wrestled with the conflicting thoughts in his head. He looked back over at Beckett one more time, as if just looking at her would give him the answers to his questions. Maybe, in some strange way, it actually did. Castle realized he already knew the answers, and he knew what he had to do.
Rick walked over to the Captain's office and quietly opened the door. "Do you have a minute?"
Castle was waved in and took one last look back at the break room, at Kate, before closing the door behind him.
