A/N: So sorry for the delay. RL caught up with me. Work, an ill grandfather, a potentially ill father (fingers and toes crossed that he's not) and a very ill dog. I hope to have the next chapter up in a week or two.
This is the pull-ups chapter! Phoenix's Halloween chapter is refernced here.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. See first chapter.
Chapter 7
Mike had spent a couple of weeks at Harvey's recovering.
That first night, when Harvey had that slow dawning realisation that it just felt right – he and Mike, he had intended to push aside his reservations and pride and tell the kid exactly that, no matter the response. But no sooner than Harvey had this epiphany, Mike seemed to have one of his own. What that actually was, Harvey had no idea, except that it appeared to entail Mike actively avoiding him. The kid had spent most of his time squirrelled away in the spare room, giving him short shrift and telling him he was fine. There were no further episodes of Mike needing to sleep in his bed or confronting him about his true feelings.
In fact, as soon as the doctor had given him the all clear, he'd practically hightailed it back to his apartment.
Harvey had spent most of Mike's first week back trying to talk to him. Mike, for the first time that Harvey had met him, stayed mostly at his cubicle and avoided his office at all costs. If he did have to venture up to him, he'd either leave his offerings at Donna's desk (and he must have looked pitiful for Donna to agree to be a messenger) or reluctantly enter his office when forced or summoned by Harvey himself.
If Harvey even attempted to try and talk about anything remotely personal – and he really never got any further then 'Listen, Mike. We really need to talk-' before the kid would bolt with a flimsy excuse at being swamped by his or Louis work (which he knew was a lie because Harvey had threatened the future of any potential mini-Louis if he had so much as looked at Mike the wrong way).
By the Thursday of the second week (when Harvey was sure Mike was not only avoiding him but going through some inner turmoil that was evident to all to see thanks his usually over-jubilant demeanour being replaced with a quiet, morose, withdrawn and if not mistaken, a little skittish presence) Harvey found himself snapping – berating himself for letting the kid quietly simmer away on his own – and quite literally at Mike.
"What's going on?" Harvey asked him mid-morning.
"Nothing," Mike said with a confused frown. He had his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his pants and Harvey winced at the sight.
Harvey shook his head at him with a smirk that had none of the mirth they were accustomed to.
"Look, I know you don't want to talk," Harvey tried to reason carefully. "But every time I've tried to-"
"Harvey-" Mike interjected with impatience, shuffling from one foot to another. "I've got nothing to talk about. So if you don't mind, I'll get back to work."
"Hey," Harvey said defensively, holding his hands up between them. "Okay. You don't want to talk about it. That's fine. But something is going on."
Harvey could see the kid setting his jaw, tension winding into place. "And I have no idea if it's what I want to talk to you about or if it's something else, but you're not your usual self and I'm getting a little worried-"
Mike moved his right foot, slightly with more force this time, and Harvey was sure it was a half-hearted attempt at stamping it. "My work's okay, right? That's all that matters, isn't it?"
No, Mike, it isn't
"Mike," Harvey sighed. "I know you don't want to talk about us, or whatever else might be bothering you, but I really need to-"
"Well I don't!" Mike snapped at him suddenly. There's anger in his face, but the words strangely seem absent from it, a warning tone tinged with fear.
"See, kid. This is what I'm talking about-" Harvey started to say, rising from his desk.
Mike appeared to startle at this and backed up a few steps.
"We don't need to talk," Mike snarled at him and then shook his head. "I know. I know. It's all perfectly clear now."
"Mike," he tried to soothe. He really didn't want a repeat of the other month.
"Screw you, Harvey," the kid spat out at him and then abruptly turned on his heel and marched out with a determined stride.
Harvey caught the surprised look cross Donna's face as Mike purposely ignored her and disappeared around the corner. He was relived to see that this time he had headed off in the direction of the associate area.
Tiredly, Harvey dropped back down on to his chair, and buried his face into his hands.
"What's going on, Harvey?" Donna suddenly asked from his doorway, ignoring her direct line with him in favour of a face to face confrontation.
"I officially don't have a clue," Harvey told her with a sigh. "I've been trying to talk to him for weeks now."
Donna eyed him with a questionable frown.
"I know what I want," Harvey clarified with a small smile.
Donna looked momentarily elated at this revelation before frowning and folding her arms across her chest.
"You should have had this talk with him months ago, Harvey-" Donna berated him softly. "If you had, you wouldn't be having this problem now."
"I know," he agreed quietly.
"It's all your fault, you know," Donna continued.
"I know," Harvey agreed again, a little exasperated.
"Sorry-" Donna smiled, shaking herself. "Just wanted to make sure that I heard you correctly."
"Donna! This isn't funny," he said, stung by her response. His epiphany was sliding away from his finger-tips because of his stupidity and Mike was miserable because of it.
"Am I laughing?" she asked, voice snappish and eyes suddenly blazing. Harvey wasn't normally scared of his assistant but even he, when the red-head set her mouth in a thin line and her eyes shone fiercely, knew when to tread carefully. "I've known you for a long time ,Harvey. Long enough to know that you admit when you've done someone wrong. And what does Harvey Specter do when he realises he's made a mistake?"
"I fix things," Harvey declared, vehemently refusing to refer to himself in the third person.
"So fix it."
xxx
Mike made his way back to his cubicle with trepidation. For the past few weeks he had nothing but grief from his fellow associates. It was little things really. Funny looks. A few odd comments. Jokes about Mike being Harvey's little pet. That in itself wasn't unusual – he'd always had them, what with Harvey specifically picking him out of oblivion and the obvious fact that, for a while at least, Mike had been a fish out of water who didn't know how to file a patent and lost at housing court.
Mike knew that Kyle was mostly to blame and it really hadn't bothered him much. But since the whole mad professor incident everything had got worse. The pranks increased ten-fold; important paperwork conveniently went 'missing', he'd get a dozen miss-dialled calls, messages were lost, his desk items were re-arranged. The comments became more personal, more bitchy.
The staring increased too, Mike was sure of it. He'd look up from his desk and several of his fellow associates would just be openly staring. Mike didn't mention it to anyone because he was pretty sure they, particularly Harvey, would just think it was paranoia and he'd be dragged back to Anne for further tests. He shuddered at the thought.
Today, though, was the tipping point. The point of no return. The point where Mike Ross fought his way back to the the top of the shit that surrounded him.
That was the intention anyway.
He'd already barely been in control of his emotions when he had had snapped and lied to Harvey's face. That had been mere minutes after he'd found a pacifier in his draw for the third day in a row. So, when he finally made his way back to his desk and found a pair of man-size pull ups sitting in the middle of his desk, a little bit of hysterical pandemonium followed.
"Who-" Mike asked, voice catching in his throat as he whipped his head around in a frenzied attempt at zeroing out the culprit. "Who did this?"
Laughter erupted somewhere to his immediate right and he spun with it. Instead of finding a body to go with the laughter, he found staring faces and he froze, breath stilling within him. His throat clenched and he felt something rise up and wedge in there, affectively blocking what little air he had. He'd heard countless people say 'hearts were in their throat'. It was a figure of speech. But he felt his, high up and beating wildly, neck tight and vibrating.
"Who did what, Ross?" Kyle asks, blinking stupidly at him.
Mike let out a shuddering breath and turned rapidly away to find at least several more associates were staring, faces blank. If it weren't for the fact that they weren't identical, Mike would be positive he was in the the village of the damned. In suits.
Whatever had crawled into his throat was allowing some breaths through. But they were too fast. And loud. Right there in his ears. Panicked.
He glanced at the pull-ups, that sat there seemingly innocent but all-together mocking, and had one thought of clarity. Not surprisingly, it was in Harvey's voice.
You don't just give in and get killed. There's 146 other options.
So he did exactly that.
He chose 145
He ran.
xxx
He ran to the bathroom. Again.
Splashed water over his face and counted out breaths.
Bathrooms were once considered safe. Fortresses of solitude where you could cry or have mini breakdowns in private. Not any more it seemed because the door was suddenly swung open and the muffled laughter from before surrounded him with fierce terror.
They had followed him.
He refused to look up to acknowledge this – facing the basin, water still running, hands on the counter top – and his suspicion was confirmed when the pull-up was thrust in front of his face.
"Leave me alone," he hated how his voice cracked and wavered and sounded so weak.
"What? You don't like them?"
A quick glance up revealed what he suspected – Kyle Durant, smirking, eyes glinting with murderous joy.
"Just grow up, okay?" Mike challenged, making an effort to strengthen his voice and straighten. "All of you."
"You don't need them?" Kyle asked, perfecting a look of complete genuineness. Mike knew better. "I mean, I heard you had to wear these pretty often. It must have been hard, right? The metamorphosis between child to now. Did you have a few accidents? Does Harvey still make you wear them."
Another guffaw of laughter erupted around them and Mike took a breath and looked around him. There were a few associates who were obviously part of the 'operation pull-ups'. The rest, Mike was sure, had just piled into the bathroom to gawk. His eyes settled on Harold, at the back, who looked completely horrified.
"Kyle, stop," Harold said feebly. He made an attempt at pushing through the crowd but was easily pushed back.
"Does he?" Kyle asked, ignoring Harold's request. "Is this a weird kink thing you've got going on? Maybe Harvey liked playing daddy too much. Is that it, Mikey?"
Mike tore his eyes away from the back of the crowd, his possible escape route being – well, not at all possible – and looked at Kyle is disgust.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he shouted, shoving Kyle away. Greg, who was nearby attempted to reach out to balance him, but Kyle waved him away and straightened. He licked at his lips and leered venomously. "Why are you doing this?" Mike asked, voice quietening
"Why?" Kyle asked incredulously, shoving him back. Mike had no choice but to stumble further against the counter, hand reaching back and bracing against the edge of the basin. "How about 'Halloween? Bobbing for apples. Humiliating me in front of Louis?"
Mike stared at his fellow associate in bewilderment. Was Kyle serious? All of this because of a minor incident that had occurred when he was all of three.
"You're kidding, right?" At the look on Kyle's face – leering and baying for blood – he knew he wasn't.
"And my nephew too," Kyle reminded him, shoving at him again so that his back hit the counter painfully. "He couldn't live it down. I couldn't live it down, but you wouldn't know that, right? Safely tucked away at Harvey's condo. And then when you're back here it's like you and Harvey belong to this exclusive club-"
"It's not all it's cracked up to be," Mike let out a dry laugh. "Believe me. I'm sure Anna Green would be very willing to give you the chance. I guess Louis could be all of your daddies."
"Shut up!" Kyle snapped and shoved him again. Any further and he'd end up in the basin. "It's not funny."
"Yeah, it kinda is," Mike disagreed. It really wasn't but he was on a pact with himself to disagree with everything Kyle had to say. "Considering you're jealous. Of pull-ups. Go ahead, Kyle. Have at it." He waved his hand dismissively at the pull-ups still in Kyle's hand.
Kyle tensed angrily and battered Mike's hand away before stepping closer and pinning him against the counter with his own body.
"Put it on," he hissed at Mike.
"What?" Mike laughed nervously. He tried to squirm and fidget away but Kyle had a good and firm hold of him.
"You heard," Kyle smiled dangerously at him. "Have at it."
"Get off me, Kyle," he warned him, panic seizing him again.
A muffled noise of nervousness floated and fluttered around them, some of their fellow associates now seemingly uncomfortable at the scene brewing in front of them. Even Gregory, Kyle's usual partner in crime, seemed alarmed.
"Kyle-" Gregory stepped up to the two of them, talking lowly into Kyle's ear. "Maybe you should stop."
"No way. We agreed he needed to be brought down a peg or two," Kyle snapped at his friend and shook off the hand that rested against his arm. "Put. It. On. or..."
"What the hell is going on in here?" a fierce voice erupted around them. It was followed by a few startled gasps and the sound of rushing feet – the associates at the back conveniently able to make quick exits – leaving the unfortunate ones who had wanted priority seats in 'Humiliate Mike Ross' stuck between his saviour and the actual culprits.
Kyle had immediately backed off and in the chaos, shoved the pull-ups into the hands of Gregory who had frantically tried to pull Kyle's hand away in a pathetic attempt at concealing them in mid-air.
The remaining associates parted aside to reveal Donna stood in the open doorway – face fiercely blushed red in rage. Gregory, caught in her direct stare, dropped the pull-ups to the floor as though they burned him, mouth open in shock. Donna barely gave the item a passing glance before returning her glare to him and then to Kyle.
Her eyes glanced briefly at Mike, who shook his head at her, flashing with concern.
"I asked you what the hell was going on?" she asked again.
He wanted to run.
He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
He didn't want Donna to know he was seized with panic.
He didn't want Donna, or anyone else to know, that he wanted Harvey to make everything all right.
He didn't want anyone to know that he was without a doubt unable to look after himself and failing miserably at being the old Mike Ross.
And yet, he couldn't take his seized eyes off her, of letting all these thoughts spill over and taint the air between them.
He was a complete and utter failure. And Harvey could make things better, but Mike was absolutely sure now that Harvey wouldn't want that. Not now. They'd both get burned, so it would have been better for all involved if he just distanced himself and built some brand new walls. Only, that all went to shit as soon as he looked at Donna.
"Nothing," Kyle said, voice faltering under the stare.
"Nothing?" Donna repeated with a raised eyebrow.
Gregory nodded and shrugged.
Mike could see Donna tense, perfectly manicured hands flexing against her sides. He wasn't the only ones who saw it – both Kyle and Gregory gulped and backed up a few steps.
"All of you out," she calmly instructed but when it appeared they weren't moving fast enough she bellowed at them - "NOW!"
"Except you two," Donna said, side stepping in front of Kyle and Gregory and blocking them in. "You two get to go to my desk and wait."
"But we didn't..." Kyle started to say.
"It's either that or I get security to escort you out of this building right now," Donna told them. Now that the others had gone, Mike could see the palpable seething rage that she was barely reigning in. "Don't test my patience."
Gregory paled and nodded at once before dragging a reluctant Kyle away.
Donna turned a rather pale but still fiercely angry face towards him.
"Mike-" she tried, arm reaching out.
"It's nothing..." he told her, looking down at the pull-ups in shame.
"No, Mike-" Donna tried again.
He shied away from her this time and made for the door.
"I'm okay," He lied to her. He knew his voice betrayed the sentiment, choked and distorted in his throat. He made for the door that was now blissfully free of any evil-doing associates brandishing pull-ups. "Can you tell Harvey that I need to go."
He never gave her a chance to object and took the 146th option.
If all else fails: keep running.
xxx
Harvey became aware of a new problem in his saga with Mike when two of the associates suddenly appeared at Donna's desk. They both had a air of nervousness, but one looked particularly on edge.
He was certain it involved Mike when he caught sight of Donna marching towards her cubicle, hair flying wildly around her, clutching what looked like a giant size pair of pull-ups.
He stood to meet her and grill the two associates – Kyle and Gregory something – that was no doubt at the forefront of any wrong-doing. If it involved a pull-up, Harvey could only imagine what Mike's reaction would be, knowing full well of the kid's shame when he had to use them.
"Donna? What...?" Harvey started to say, already out of the office door.
"Harvey, please let me deal with this?" Donna asked, hand going up to rest against the front of his jacket. "At least until after you've found Mike."
"Found?" Harvey asked in confusion before narrowing his eyes and turning on the associates. "What the hell have you two dick-heads done?"
"Harvey," Donna pleaded, pushing him gently back towards his office. "Promise me you'll let me deal with this. I'll tell you everything, but you have to promise me you'll let me and Jessica – Louis too considering he's supposedly in charge of them – deal with it."
Harvey doesn't have a clue what has transpired but he already knows he wants to rip the two douches heads off. He could even display them with his basket-balls. But somewhere in the back of his head he registered her words and translated it to Mike is missing. Again.
Taking a breath, Harvey nodded and indicated for her to join him in his office, taking note of the audible gulps both associates made when he and Donna gave simultaneous glares.
xxx
Harvey had done as Donna had requested. Jessica and Louis had both been informed of the situation that had occurred and, although shocked, had agreed that the best option for Harvey would be to find his associate to make sure he was okay. The silent 'and make sure he doesn't sue' went unsaid.
Harvey very happily offered to test his boxing skills but he ended up leaving them in the questionable hands of Donna instead. Which was satisfying in itself.
He couldn't get hold of Mike on his phone or at his apartment and even tried both the nursing home and the unsavoury bar he'd found him at before. He'd called the firm to tell them he hadn't been successful and considered heading back there until Jessica insisted he return home with a clarifying reminder that the kid might eventually turn up there.
His cab had made it's way through an onslaught of traffic and he wearily made his way up via the main elevator. He really hadn't expected the kid to be there. Not after the cold shoulder treatment he'd been receiving lately. But sure enough there was a familiar figure huddled there in his doorway.
"Mike?"
"Harvey?" he said, head snapping up quickly. A shaky hand wiped at his eyes and Harvey could instantly see the kid had been crying.
"Yeah..." Harvey breathed out uncertainly, moving forward. "What happ-"
"Harvey-" Mike's voice broke and then suddenly his slight form was springing and launching himself at him.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed, having no choice but to drop his briefcase and catch the flailing kid, arms wrapping around him in the impromptu hug. "Hey, kid... it's okay. Take it easy."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Mike murmured hysterically, his face plastered into the nook of Harvey's neck. He could feel fresh tears dampen against his skin, body trembling in his hold. "I know you don't want this. But I can't do it any more, Harvey. I need you. I really need you. Please, Harvey."
Harvey heart broke right there and then. This was what he wanted – not the hysterical, pain-filled pleadings, of course – but Mike in his life. The fake son he never knew he needed until now.
"Listen to me, kid," Harvey said and pulled away. Mike blinked at him with tear-filled eyes and sucked in a wobbly lip before his eyes darted away. He sighed and grabbed the kid's face between his two hands causing Mike's focus to be re-directed at him. "I've been trying to tell you – this is what I want too. I want to go back to how things were before."
Mike blinked in confusion.
"Like before before or before as in after Anna changed me for the first time?"
Harvey rolled his eyes.
"The second one" Harvey confirmed.
Mike made a choking sound and buried his face back into Harvey's neck.
Harvey had never felt so natural at comforting someone as he did right now.
xxx
Harvey managed to bundle the kid into the apartment and swaddled him in a blanket. It hadn't been particularly cold but Mike had continued shaking and latched on to the soft material as though his life depended on it.
They had ended up talking a lot. About the last few weeks – particularly what Kyle and the associates had been doing (which Harvey vowed would end in termination, which he then had to promise to the kid didn't actually mean extermination) – and how Mike had distanced himself from Harvey because it hurt to be too close to him.
Harvey hated himself for that.
"Are you for real?" Mike asked him, blowing his lips over a cup of cocoa. "You're not just saying it, like the last time?"
"Move in," Harvey suddenly announced. It had been abrupt and a spur of the moment comment. But wanted none the less.
"What?" Mike spluttered through a mouthful of drink.
"Move in," he repeated, a smile forming, words firmer and more decisive.
"Harvey, don't kid around. Please," Mike whispered, putting the mug down.
"I'm not," Harvey told him, smile turning into a full on grin, body relaxing. "You want to, don't you?"
Mike nodded eagerly.
"Good," Harvey smiled encouragingly and joined him on the couch, arm wrapping around the already swaddled shoulders. "Because so do I."
He could feel the kid relax under his arm, tension rolling out of him.
They stayed like that for several minutes. Long enough for Harvey to think Mike had fallen asleep under his arm.
"When?"
"What?"
"When?" Mike repeated. "When do I move in."
"Oh. Now. Now would be a good time, right?"
Mike nodded again.
"None of my stuff is here."
"Right," Harvey said, realising all that was new (again) was a sleepy associate with a ratty messenger bag. "We could get them tomorrow."
"No," Mike said, voice reminiscent of the small child who'd only been there a few months earlier. " I want to move in now, Harvey."
"You want to get your stuff now? It's 11:00," Harvey reminded him.
Mike nodded against him and when he looked down he found Mike looking up at him with those specially trained doleful and puppy-fied eyes .
"Okay," Harvey agreed and stood up, offering his hand to the younger man to pull him up. "Now it is."
xxx
Harvey had never been a fan of Mike's place. In fact, he was very relieved he'd, and Mike, would never have to step back in the place ever again.
Although, in Harvey's own classification of housing categories – which had been summed up as shit-hole – he had never recalled it in this type of disarray before. Mike had, despite his organised chaos in life, always been quite tidy and relatively clean at home. Admittedly, Harvey had only been there on a few occasions, but the apartment had been relatively free of clutter.
Today, and from what he could see, probably the last few weeks since returning to his apartment, there were clothes scattered over the couch, dirty dishes in the kitchen and several empty take-out boxes adorning most surfaces.
"When was the last time you tidied?" Harvey asked, eyeing his charge with a questionable frown.
"Hey," Mike objected, pushing past and grabbing at a few shirts from the back of the couch. "It's not as bad as it looks."
Harvey shook his head at Mike's funky logic and then broke into laughter, "Right. Whatever you say, Mike."
Mike shrugged and disappeared around the corner to the small area that housed his bed. Harvey made an effort at snagging as many take-out boxes as he could, dumping them into the already overflowing bin. Wrinkling his nose, he stamped down on it with his too expensive shoe, making room for further garbage.
By the time he got back to Mike, the kid was already messily pushing winkled and scrunched pants and tops into a holdall. Harvey took note to see most of Mike's suits were immaculately hanging up and gave him an appraising look. He'd brought some old cases for suits that Donna had left at his condo ages ago.
"Wait-" Harvey berated him softly and Mike instantly stilled, blinking at him. "Are these even clean?"
"Clean enough," Mike muttered with a shrug.
Harvey tutted at Mike and snagged a top from his hand, sniffing it.
"Seriously?" Mike asked with a stupid grin. "Harvey Specter is smelling my clothes?"
"This hasn't even be washed," Harvey grimaced before flinging it towards the washing machine. He eyed the rest of the clothes lying haphazardly across the bed. "Do you even have any clean ones?"
"My suits?" Mike answered with a sheepish grin and he couldn't help but smile back, the edge of his lips quirking with amusement.
"Well, at least there's that," he dryly rolled out, before proceeding to pick through the younger man's belongings. "I see my adoption couldn't come soon enough."
"Hey-" Mike interjected, pulling a pair Scooby Doo pyjama bottoms out of Harvey's hand. "What are you doing?"
"Getting your shit together to wash."
Mike didn't say anything. Instead he broke into laughter.
"Right," he said through a guffaw of laughter. He dropped the bottoms and headed back to the couch, dropping onto it. "This I have to see. Knock yourself out."
"Need I remind you that you stayed with me for two weeks. Who did you think cleaned your baby grows?"
Mike huffed and glared at him.
"I didn't have any baby grows!"
Harvey finally finished dumping all of his clothes, including his underpants, in the machine, growling at him all the way.
"Why the hell did you wait so long to do your washing?"
"I don't know, Harvey," Mike shrugged with an impish grin. "Maybe I thought they'd grow legs and walk to the machine."
"Or-" Harvey rolled his eyes at him, repeatedly hitting the 'on' button. "You're washing machine is broken."
Mike broke out into a huge grin and nodded.
"Oh, yeah. There was that too."
If Mike was shocked when Harvey started going through his dirty clothes, he practically fell off the couch when he dropped to his knees, rolled his sleeves and proceeded to remove all the items and some of the fixtures too.
"Huh. What are you doing?"
"Fixing your washing machine," Harvey explained matter of factly. Throwing his head back he could see Mike's mouth agape in shock. "What? You think I haven't fixed a washing machine before."
Mike nodded.
"You're full of surprises," he said in awe. "It's actually quite amazing."
Harvey considered this for a second and then nodded too.
"You need to remind Donna that the next time hers craps out on her."
Mike just continued to nod and stare.
After twenty minutes of tinkering he was done.
"Okay," Harvey declared, giving the machine a celebratory clap to the top. "I think we're good to go."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The drum was loose. It's just a temporary thing, but I think we're all right for one or two loads."
"Right," Mike nodded dumbly from his seat.
Harvey continued with his clearing up. With the machine shuddering to life, he started on the dishes, eyeing the remainder of the take-out boxes that still needed to be collected and the vacuum cleaner in the corner.
"You going to give me a hand or what?"
Mike shook his head and wiped at his eyes blearily.
"No?" Harvey asked, amused at his honesty. "And why's that?"
"Because this is amazing."
Mike ended up falling asleep to the sound of Harvey vacuuming his soon to be old apartment.
xxx
tbc
An/N2
I know quite a few was hoping Harvey would put Mike in a man-size pull up. Because of the strong need for this I might try and actually work this into the next chapter (it could work – Mike will be petrified at one point, so you never know).
Again sorry for the delay!
