Title: Decade
Pairing: L/V
Rating: PG-13, for a tiny bit of language, a little bit of content.
Spoilers: All aired episodes.
Word Count: 3,563
Summary: Future fic. Veronica and Logan think they have moved on with their lives. They both end up in New York, where Logan is an actor and Veronica a photographer. L/V.
Disclaimer: Obviously, these characters do not belong to me. I have just adopted them for a little while.
Author Note: I hope this is fast enough for you all :). Plus, it's about 1,000 words longer than my normal chapter length. Thanks for sandstar08 for the "husband and 2.4 kids" line idea. Again, reviewers, you are the reason I write and I love you all. I'm only 3 reviews away from 100! Yippeeeeee.
"There's something I have to tell you." As she repeated the words, their import truly sunk in. Everything would be so much better if only I could keep quiet. But the ex-teen detective has got to fuck everything up, because that's how it goes. She shivered in the dark and the cold that she had only just truly noticed. Her thin sweater was certainly not enough for nighttime in October.
Despite the dark, Logan noticed her shivering. He took off his hoodie and handed it to her. When she tried to refuse it, he shrugged and she accepted it. He said, "I drove here. Let's get back to the house before you say anything that might make me want to leave you here." That's an excellent idea as walking back alone in the dark has no particular appeal. Especially when I would certainly have to climb over the gate again. They both stood up and headed towards the parking lot.
As Veronica put on the sweatshirt, she couldn't help but smell the scent of Logan ingrained in it. She recognized his shampoo and shaving cream and stopped there as the memories which up to now had been stoppered came flooding out. Even when they had been kissing, she had been absorbed only in his touch, not in the past. She felt guilt for every time she had let him down or failed to trust him, anger for all those times he had hurt her and warmth from those few occasions when everything had been alright. She would never concede anything better than alright.
She climbed into the passenger side of the green Lexus SUV. She guessed it must be another thing leant by the producer. He is bizarrely kind. I doubt most producers would do this even for their most important star .
"So, what is it you want to tell me? You don't have a secret husband and 2.4 kids do you?" He looked over to see her reaction.
"Of course not," she said and paused for a beat, "you can't have 2.4 kids."
"Ha ha, very funny, Veronica. And the husband part?"
"No." She held up her ringless left hand. This whole guessing game was just making her want to say something less and less.
"You just came here so you could tell your girlfriends you had sex with a movie star?"
Veronica had too many responses to that to get any out, so she just glared and Logan chuckled.
"We have a secret love-child? I would have thought you would go to the tabloids first."
"Logan, why are you guessing like this?"
"Because I know nothing good can come out of that look on your face. And guessing at least puts off any kind of horrible revelation for a while." Logan kept his eyes steadily on the road and turned into the driveway of the house. He punched in the code, purposely so that Veronica couldn't see what he was typing. They drove up the back door and parked. As he opened the door, Logan asked, "Where would you like to have this knock-down-drag-out whatever we're going to have? Any room is at your disposal and you are responsible for the valuables."
Veronica shrugged. Logan continued, "Well then, I suggest the living room. The couch is particularly comfy."
Veronica looked at him quizzically. "How come you know this place so well? You and the producer must be close." It was Logan's turn to shrug as he led her into the living room.
They sat on opposing ends of the long couch. Now that Veronica had no way to put it off, she was reluctant to start. Part of her wished she had listened to Logan and just left it alone. But now there was no going back. Without rehashing the past, there was no possible future. He would always wonder and it was always just below her own skin.
She entwined her fingers nervously. "Okay. Do you remember October 3rd our senior year at Hearst?"
"I would have thought you knew I had given up drinking until I blacked out. Despite vague drunkenness, I remember than night with much clarity. Need a recap?"
"No. Definitely not. Anyway, we, umm, you know, and then, well, and then 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant." She had been looking down at her clenched hands, but then looked right up at his face. He had gone white.
"What?" He sounded stunned and confused.
"You heard me. Me. Pregnant. Do I need to draw a diagram? Actually, you could probably draw me a diagram."
"What?" He still was in shock. "What, what happened?"
"We both took the required high school sex ed. class…"
"No, I mean after," his voice was humorless.
Veronica was reluctant to go on, but she had to. He tone was measured as she said, "Well, then I decided to get an abortion, so I did—"
Logan interrupted angrily, "How could you, Veronica?" As he said it, he stood up and stepped away from the couch.
His tone infuriated her. "How could I? It was my life I would be giving up, my life. I didn't have time for a baby and I wasn't ready to be a mother. Unlike you, I had dreams. How could you ask me to give that up—"
"God, Veronica, how could you not tell me?"
Veronica wasn't thrown for more than a moment. "I didn't know what to do, Logan! We weren't in a relationship—"
"We weren't in a relationship! What kind of excuse is that? All I knew was that I woke up October 4th and you were gone, no note, no nothing and you dodged me for a couple of weeks. And then when you saw me again, you had this look, this look that at the time I found inexplicable. Now I know it meant 'Oh, Logan, I didn't think you were worthy of being told that I was pregnant with your child, so I don't want to see you anymore'. Thanks for explaining that now!"
"I didn't know what to do, Logan. I was young and stupid and afraid."
"I've known you since we were twelve, we were best friends, we were worst enemies, we've dated three times. And yet, you didn't think telling me you were pregnant and that you were thinking of getting an abortion was relevant information? Excuse me if I'm a little incensed."
"Listen—"
"No, Veronica, you listen. I know why you didn't tell me. You were afraid that I would want you to keep the baby, that I wouldn't listen to you. You didn't trust me enough to talk to me about such an important decision, important not just to you but to me. You just did your Veronica thing of keeping it all to yourself because you think you can be completely autonomous and then everything will be fine. And it's never worked, has it? If anything, this should show you how wrong you are. How could you think that of me? After all that time, you still thought I couldn't be trusted. Well, what a huge fucking surprise." At this, he took a porcelain figure of a woman from the mantelpiece and smashed it. The shards sprayed everywhere. God, that'll be tough to clean up, was Veronica's first crazy thought.
Struggling to hold back tears, she almost laughed at the parallel with when she had broken up with Logan during the summer before senior year of high school. "Look, I made a mistake, Logan—"
"No, really? I'm glad that perfect Veronica is confessing to one. Refreshing, it is. What I also wonder is, how come you never told me since then? Never thought, hmm, here's something I owe to my old friend Logan?" He faced her with his arms crossed.
"Well, you disappeared immediately after graduation. I went to your house and Dick just said you'd left. What was I supposed to think?"
"As if you tried at all. I mean, Veronica and her pixie spy magic can find anyone. At least, you always seemed to find Duncan when he ran away. You were glad to let me go, just admit it. You never needed to be reminded of your 'mistake' anymore. No need to have that look anymore."
"God, Logan, you want to know how I felt? I hated myself for it. And every time I saw you, I knew I owed it to you, but I couldn't. I was afraid. Afraid that you'd react the way you are now. Afraid of my own feelings about it. You make me vulnerable and I can't afford that. I just wanted to leave that part of my life behind." She was sobbing in anger, frustration and sadness. "I still hate myself for it," she muttered. She swallowed. "I knew it would end up like this. I just couldn't keep it in any longer. I couldn't, I can't, bear it. Please hate me. It would make my night." She closed her eyes and clenched her fists while her tears continued to fall. She felt angry and upset, but relieved that she had let it out. At least there was a modicum of honesty. Secrets were always unruly items.
She sat there sobbing for several minutes, furious and wretched. Then, she felt male arms around her still shaking shoulders. She turned her head to Logan and glared at him. "What are you doing?"
"You are upset." He didn't remove his arms.
Her breathing grew steadier. "Why can't you just hate me?"
He shrugged. He said nothing for a little while and then said simply, "I don't, Veronica. I forgive you. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Yes," she said, as she turned and wept into his shirt.
The morning found them still on the same couch, Veronica lying on Logan's chest fast asleep. She had cried herself out and just dozed off.
Logan awoke first, but stayed still, afraid to wake Veronica. He just lay there looking at the lines of light crisscrossing the ceiling, finally able to think.
How could she cut me out of her life like that. Veronica betrays Logan, that's not really the biggest surprise of the century. She was pregnant with my child and never told me. Well, up to now. And decided to get an abortion and never told me. I should hate her, I really should, but I can't. It's not like I wanted a kid either. When she made that decision without me, she cut me out of her life. Just like that. But now here she is, asleep in my arms. It's been only been a little more than 48 hours since I learned how Olivia fucked me over. And fucked Connor. And here I am with Veronica, who I never thought I'd see again, sleeping on me having confessed to having screwed me over too. And yet all I want to do is stay like this forever. Oh, Logan, you're in too deep again.
She moved slightly in her sleep and he stroked her hair. Who knows what it's going to be like when she wakes up. I never know what Veronica I'm going to get. But it barely matters, because I still want her no matter what. Maybe we can make something this time. Something except for disaster.
I heard the footsteps outside the front door in the next door room and the sound of a key turning in the lock. He slipped out from beneath Veronica gently, but quickly and entered the front hall, closing the door behind him. He was just in time to see Dick Casablancas entering the front door. "Hey man," he said, walking over to clasp his hand.
"Hey, dude! So, I heard about that Olivia girl. Sorry about that man, 'cause she was hot. Never knew she was into such kinky shit. Do you think she'd be into me?"
Logan punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Glad you're so supportive in my hour of need."
"Yeah, well, that's me all the way. Are you alright? I mean, I would have expected you to be drowning in booze and growing a beard. Decided to stop being so pussy-whipped?"
Logan made noncommittal noises. Dick continued happily without response, "So, how do you like the pad?"
At that moment, the door to the living room opened and Veronica entered, sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired. At the site of Dick, her eyes shot open and she gaped in confusion.
"Veronica?" Dick exclaimed in shock. He stared. "Veronica?" he said her name again as if it were utterly foreign to him.
"Dick?" Veronica had managed to pull herself together a bit. "What are you doing here?"
Dick was struggling to put his string his words together. "This…this is my house."
"No, it isn't. I thought it belonged to the producer of…" Her voice trailed off as she began to understand.
"Yeah, Ronnie, that's me," Dick said smugly, "He and his costar drama are sure to make me a ton of money. But then he was always very popular with the females. Never could understand why. But really, what are you doing here? Last I'd heard you'd fallen off the planet."
"I don't know," she said. Both Veronica and Dick looked at Logan. He shrugged and dodged the wordless questions with, "Breakfast, anyone?"
The thought of food immediately distracted Dick and he whined about how incredibly hungry he was. "I think I'm going to go upstairs and have a shower," Veronica said, feeling rather grimy in her slept-in and sandy clothes.
The shower felt so refreshing. The water pressure was good and Veronica made the temperature just as hot as she could bear it. It almost felt as if she was stripping her skin off and she loved it. Anything unpleasant or unwanted would be boiled off of her, leaving her new again.
Veronica could not let herself dwell on her and Logan the night before. It was too much, too complex, too frightening. She had opened up to a scarily vulnerable extent and she wasn't ready to remember it. Her reflexes said to run, to hide whatever could keep her safe and secret. She turned her mind instead to scrubbing herself with extreme thoroughness.
Oh, God, and Dick is here, she thought, I never could imagine him as a real functioning human in society, but here he is with a job, zero visible floozies and, I imagine, some success. He was wearing a suit for goodness sakes. Now that's a sight I never thought I'd see. Veronica grinned to herself. Me, Logan and Dick are quite the odd threesome. Uggh, I can't believe I thought the words "me, Logan and Dick" and "threesome" in the same sentence.
Veronica stepped out of the shower, dried her hair with a towel and put on jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Any ideas of dressing to impress had been thrown out the window long ago. She brushed her hair so it would dry straight and trotted down to the kitchen to see what the boys had gotten up to.
She paused outside the door when she heard the voices inside.
"—I've said it before and I'll say it again, man. That girl is rich dude kryptonite! Especially for you. Are you going to get all mopey again when she leaves you high and dry?" Dick's voice had an edge of concern that Veronica had never heard before.
And Veronica's thinking maybe Dick isn't that bad. I think I see a faint sheet of ice forming over Hell. She should have just entered, but she stayed outside wanting to hear more. It's like reconnaissance, really. I just need to know how the land lies. Really, eavesdropping is such an ugly word.
"Dick, look, it's my problem." Logan sounded guarded.
"No, it's not, not when all I get is your whining all the time about it. I thought you'd left her behind dude, moved on. Water under the bridge and all that. If it were Olivia right now, I'd understand. I mean, I wouldn't really, but I might pretend to for like a second and then bring you some more beer. But Veronica shows and you don't give a fuck about Olivia anymore. She makes you crazy, man, and you're no fun anymore. Why can't you just let the bitch go?"
Veronica was tense, straining to hear Logan's answer. She moved a little closer to the door to hear better and tripped on the small side table next to the door. The bronze vase can clattering down making a huge commotion. So much for my spy skills. Now what have I learned except that Dick is as much of a dick as ever in many respects? The two men had come to the door and she looked up at them sheepishly as she replaced the vase. "I tripped," she said smiling innocently.
Logan looked like he knew she'd been listening. Dick just looked like Dick. "So, what's for breakfast?" she said to distract them.
"Well, I'm enjoying some excellent Cheerio's, but Dick's all about the Lucky Charms. We also have a wide selection of other breakfast cereals that you may inspect," Logan said, walking back into the kitchen.
"You know, it's incredible, but I can definitely see you shilling breakfast cereal on TV. And I'd love some Cheerio's please." She sat down at the kitchen table and poured herself a bowl when it was passed to her. Logan, Dick and I having a jolly breakfast together. Not something I would have thought very likely. Ever.
Dick and Logan started a conversation about his movie, promoting it and the Hollywood gossip. Veronica mostly just listened in, adding a comment every once and a while. When Dick referenced an actress' "big jugs", she rolled her eyes, but chiefly everything went swimmingly. Logan and Veronica didn't talk to each other directly often. Dick tried to make some toast but ended up burning it and his hand. At the end of the meal, he retired to deal with his injury and some "work stuff".
"He's probably just off to watch some internet porn to make himself feel better," Logan said as Dick disappeared.
"Probably featuring a sexy nurse," Veronica mused, as she took her plate to the sink.
Together they cleaned up the breakfast things and loaded the dishwasher. Veronica directed Logan in the latter activity; she was in charge of putting in the soap and turning the dishwasher on. When they heard the humming sound of the machine beginning to work, they stood side by side looking at each other.
"Veronica, I know you were eavesdropping on our conversation earlier," Logan started.
Veronica interrupted, "Just for a second, really."
"Oh, really, Veronica, you say that like I don't know the extent of your nosiness." He gave her a brief smile. "Well, anyways, to refresh your memory of what you didn't hear, Dick asked me why I can't let you go. And I've been thinking about it. Even before he asked, I was. But this is something I think I should tell you, not him, because I think I know the answer."
Veronica looked at him, frozen.
"I mean, why would I when you've fucked up my life so many times? There are so many reasons I should never want to see you again. You've been a bitch to me and crushed me, but I've been an asshole as well, too many times to count. The truth is, Veronica, that my life only seems real when you're in it. When I left after graduation, I just wanted to make a new life and be someone else. In a way, everything since then has been a sham. I've been playing my parts in movies and the part of the cool, but humble movie star. I didn't know it until I saw you at the photo shoot and I remembered how I had been, that in a way I was still Neptune High's obligatory psychotic jackass inside and "moving on" was just lying about it. I saw you and I woke up, I was broken and put back together all over again. Now I know that even as I asked Olivia to marry me, I never thought it was real, that it was really my life. You're the only one to whom I'm myself, all me, not the actor, the son of a murderer, the abused kid, the rich jackass. If you're just going to leave me once again then so be it; I just want a part of you, Veronica. That's all I can ask…"
His last words were only whispered as he had moved closer and closer to her as he spoke. He cupped her face with one hand and all she could do was stare at him. She leaned up to kiss him gently. "I missed you, too," was all she managed to get out before he began kissing her again. Their lips still connected, he lifted her up on the counter to make them the same height. When their mouths finally detached themselves, Logan was smiling. "Mmm, this reminds me of make outs in the girl's bathroom at Neptune High," he said.
"Oh yes, the good old days," she said mockingly. She started unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt. "How 'bout making some new memories?"
Please review, my dears! Whatever you think, say it and I definitely promise to think about it and/or respond. Merci.
