isclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series, but I do own my ipod stocked with some of the best music.

A/N: Okay so I did update this story after forever but I still don't like it. READ THIS PART FOR NEW INFO, so it's been nine years since Bella's ninth birthday and Edward is three years older. So he's been a vamp for 12 years not four. And Bella is not his singer...yet. So review if you want to keep this story around.

Listen to Your Guardian Angel By Red Jumpsuit Apparatus for this chapter, please.


"But what if it wasn't, would you forgive me so easily then?" he countered. I confidence had faltered, and I looked away from his face. He continued. "What if you were never able to remember anything again, and you would be forced to start over? Would you be so easy-going then?" He questioned. "The point is I should have never risked you in any possible way." He quivered, inwardly scolding himself.

"The point is..." I paused, "Is that it is temporary, and yes something much worse could have happened, but it didn't. So just thank fate because you were lucky." I said, hating watching him guilt engulfed. He looked up at me and into my eyes, completely startled by my words. I stared back not able to look away and then he smiled while reaching for me. His arms were close to encircling me when he stiffened and dropped them to his side.

After stone cold silence caused by his questionable behaviour I had to ask. "So...what did you to me that you regret so fiercely?" I questioned in a quite tone to keep him calm. "I told you something I should have kept to myself; and then I proved it to you by scaring you into a state of shock." He whispered looking out of the window.

"What did you tell me?" I was beginning to pry, but I wanted to remember something. He grimaced and spoke with no emotion, "You'll remember soon enough." I sighed, this felt familar, him playing games with me with his secrets. "So what now?" I questioned. "We do our best." He said while fakely painting a smile on his face. He wasn't going to forgive himself until I remembered.

And slowly I did begin to remember everything as it seeped back in through the cracks of my no longer hollowed mind. I began to remeber every detail from my current classes and friends to my first steps. I began to remeber everything, except Edward, and that made him more than miserable.

Everyday that I would come home, my curtain would be swaying in the window as the leaves on the tree outside would russle in the soft breeze. And there he would be, same as each day, sitting there staring out into the pale landscape of Forks. I used to greet him and he used to reply, but now he was silent. He still blamed himself, and it was starting to depress me. And on top of those mixed feelings I felt guilty for his remorse, I couldn't remember him and that was tearing him up inside. It was ripping and clawwing at him and I could nothing.

I hated it, but I continued to be a bystander and watch from a distance as his world began to crumble. I began thinking, I must have been so important to him to have this much effect on him. Sorrow, I felt it let it continue to envelope me. I stopped looking at him, because I couldn't take his pained expression every time he looked at me.

Yes, I must have been so important to him, and that when I found it. It had been sitting on my dresser, but I couldn't think of anyone who could have put it there. All I saw was -Alice and then the leather covered thick book. I reached for it and sat at the edge of my bed tilting open the cover.

The first picture struck me. It was me, blowing out birthday candles and a little boy latched unto my hand, smiling. I glanced towards Edward and then back at the page. My eyes went wide and I stared at the page harder. It was true, that was Edward gripping my hand. I flipped the page to see a picnic setting.

It was Edward and I again reaching for apples on a nearby tree. The picture next to it had caught us, or me in the middle of falling from that same tree, while Eward was holding his arms out, eyes closed. I laughed as tears welled up in my eyes. I turned the page once more and was struck by an upsetting scene.

It was me, eyes red cheeks tear stained and Edward's arm around me. We were infront of a a small wodden tomstone that read "Jack," my old dog. I remembered the day of his death so clearly, but not Edward. I slide my fingers under the laminated page once more anf gently turn the page.

I gasped, it was Edward, the Edward I knew now. The beautiful boy with the topaz eyes and ghost pale skin. The flawless boy, he seemed so different. He seemed colder, and his expression was compelling, frightening even. He had changed so much from the careless child he once was, well I guess people grow up.

I compared two of the pictures of Edward, one young, one grown up. The contrast was remarkable. Everything about his childhood picture was optimistic and uplifting. I sighed and closed the book, I didn't know if I should thank Alice or not.

I bounded down the stairs and headed for the front door. Unlocking the dead bolt and closing the door behind me I plopped into one of the laen chairs on the porch. I sat for a few moments, not particularly looking at anything inparticular, when I began car gazing.

That's when it drove by, it's as if it passed by is slow motion. Inching farther away from me with each ticking second. It was a moving truck, very familar. And that's when the memories rushed back into my system.

"Why do you have to go Edward? You promised that you would never leave."

"I'll miss you."

The memory literally began to suffocate me as I gasped for much needed air. I continued to concentrate on deepening my shallowed breaths as shut my eyes tightly. I wanted to block everything out, I placed my hands over my ears to make it silent.

I kept with my loud breaths until I felt two hands enclose over my shoulders, it was Edward and his expression hurt. I did what I could to make him smile. "I remember Edward, I remember. Aren't you happy?" I rushed the words out inbetween breaths.

"No." He stated flatly. I was shocked and my rough breaths held in my throat for a moment. "Why not?" I demanded. "Because," He paused, "If remembering was going to have this effect on you than I wish I had never come to see you at all, if it you save you from this." His words cut my and did more damage than any blade could ever do.

I winced and remained silent, he was telling me he'd rather stay away and keep his distance. And it hurt because Edward meant so much for me. "Edwad I--" "Shhh, you'll push yourself too hard." He spoke coldly. I didn't understand, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I was just overwhelmed with so many emotions at once that they were all flooding out mixed and complicated.

I closed my eyes then, and my body became limp. I woke to my window and a humid room. I sat up quickly, confused. My room was never warm, it was always freezing due to the fact that I never closed my window, no matter what circumstance. I glanced over to it and it was shut tightly. Tears welled up in my eyes as realization hit me, Edward was...

Gone.

Edward pulled me into a long hug sending static throughout my body.

"I will come back for you, I promise."

I didn't care, my one true friend was gone, and might not ever come back.

"We have to go Bella, I'm so sorry."

"But you promised."


Okay so the next chapter after soo long, are you happy or are you disappointed? My thoughts of this story have improved slightly, but I still have no real motivation to keep it around. If you want me to continue this story, review, and I will, grudingly of course. And say happy birthday to me, my birthday just ended one minute ago. Please review and send me any ideas you have for any of my stories. I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, it just fit better that way. I'll wait for twenty reviews to update, but I hope for more. Thank you all, so much.

Airi