On the seventh day of Christmas…

"So," said Sam taking in a steadying breath as she glared at Sanchez, "let me get this straight: this morning you decided that experimenting with the Ancient device, a device that turned three people into dinosaurs, was the answer to Doctor Jackson's requirement by Homeworld Command that he gain more information about the Coscoroban people before a determination is made on whether to proceed with a mission to assess the satellites within the nebula."

Sanchez fidgeted under Sam's relentless glare.

Sam had ordered the young xenobiologist into an area of relative privacy by the walls of the ruins of the building that led to the biological database for her chewing out. Unfortunately, Sam was only too aware that the male members of SG20 were still lurking nearby along with an embarrassed Daniel, an amused Cam and a frowning Teal'c (it was all in his eyes).

"Colonel…"

"I haven't finished, Doctor Sanchez." Sam said tersely. "Because apparently your decision then led you to return briefly to the Gamma site where you appropriated the device without proper authorisation and I know this because before I was called down here, I had just read a report from Homeworld detailing the theft of the device since you didn't even inform Doctor Hendricks that you were taking it."

"I borrowed it!" Sanchez squeaked out, her hands moving in a flustered pacifying gesture that Sam ignored.

"Colonel Alain and Doctor Hendricks don't have the same opinion." Her lips tightened when Sanchez rolled her eyes. "To make things worse, you then returned and allowed seven female scientists and military personnel to think the experiment was sanctioned, changing them using the device before the power once again blew out."

Sanchez blushed but her lips settled into a stubborn line. "They all consented, Colonel, and all were female to prevent the issue that occurred on the Gamma site."

"You know nothing about this race!" Sam pointed out incredulous at the defence Sanchez was attempting. "You have no idea if same-sex pairings weren't part of their reproduction! And regardless, you didn't actually change these women into Coscorobans! You changed them into their ancient ancestor which seems to be a swan!" She straightened her shoulders and glared at Sanchez. "And because you didn't take the minimum requirements such as changing them in a contained environment as soon as they got changed – they flew away!"

Sanchez was chagrined at that. "I didn't think…"

"That's right, Doctor Sanchez, you didn't think." Sam stated forcefully.

"With respect, Colonel," Sanchez retorted angrily, "I believe you are reacting emotionally to events since one of the individuals changed is Doctor Fraiser and…" she stopped abruptly at the hard angry look Sam shot her.

"Oakley! Peel!" Sam barked across the space. The Sergeants came running along with Grogan. "Escort Doctor Sanchez back to Homeworld Command. She is confined to Homeworld to face an investigation into scientific misconduct."

"My contract's with the IOA! You don't have the authority…" began Sanchez heatedly.

"I have plenty authority." Sam broke in furiously, jerking her head at the two waiting Sergeants. "Get her out of my sight."

Oakley and Peel immediately contacted the Hammond for beam-up.

The rest of SG1 wandered over as Grogan sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"What now, ma'am?"

Sam took another deep breath to calm herself. Sanchez was partially correct in accusing Sam of being emotionally compromised because Cassie was one of the changed women. Cassie would always be special to Sam; to SG1. But this wasn't like the time Jack had gone missing and Sam had yelled at Bill Lee because it wasn't just Cassie who was now a swan; Vala, Anna Casey, Captain Peartree, Jennifer Hailey, Lindsay Novak and Doctor Susan Cambridge. In short, one member of SG1, one archaeologist trying to make-up for her inaccurate original survey, the test pilot and the lead designer for the X402, the Hammond's chief engineer and medical officer.

Sam clicked her earpiece. "Hammond, can you get a lock on the personnel changed into swans?"

"Yes, Colonel." Phelps replied. "They're about half a click from your location near to a large body of water."

The reservoir they'd seen on the UAV; swans were waterfowl. They'd probably headed off for a swim, Sam thought sourly. But thank goodness for subcutaneous transponders.

"Beam them into a cargo hold and seal the doors." Sam instructed. She clicked off the radio as Phelps confirmed her order.

"OK, so problem number one sorted." Cam said brightly. "The swans are corralled."

Grogan looked relieved. "Thanks, ma'am."

"We still have problem number two." Sam admitted. She looked around. "Who has the Ancient device?"

Daniel cleared his throat and handed it over to her. Sam examined it and blew out a frustrated breath. Her fix-it from a few days before had been wrecked.

"I need tools." Sam said. "I'm going to beam back to the ship and work on this."

"You were pretty harsh on Sanchez." Daniel commented.

She looked over at Daniel incredulously. "You do realise that she did all this because she has a crush and wants to impress you?"

"I believe that is the reason for Daniel Jackson's guilt in this matter, Colonel Carter." Teal'c informed her briskly.

Sam's lips twitched. "Indeed."

"The guy who had a crush on you brought the entire Stargate system to a halt!" Daniel said defensively.

"Oh boy." Cam murmured, taking his cap off to scratch his ear.

"At least Jay Felger had permission from the General!" Sam retorted. "Sanchez ignored every single scientific protocol that we have!"

Daniel conceded with a huff. "What do you think will happen to her?"

"I'm going to send her to Atlantis." Sam stated firmly. McKay would either break her of her bad habits or have her running for the hills. He was useful like that.

Cam whistled. "That's…"

"Inspired." Teal'c inserted with a hint of a smirk.

"Now," Sam said firmly, "I'm going back to the ship to…" she waved the device, "fix this."

"Thank you, ma'am." Grogan said appreciatively.

She sent him a reassuring smile. "Jenn'll be fine, Matt."

And she was. Two hours later, Sam stood in the cargo bay with seven reformed human women.

"I flew!" Captain Peartree spread out her arms. "I actually flew! It was incredible!"

Sam felt a twinge of jealousy but pushed it down and nodded at the assembled group. "Everyone gets checked out by Doctor Lam. She's waiting in the infirmary."

Cassie wandered over to her as they all started to file out, Peartree happily babbling to Jennifer about the experience of flying.

"Sorry I worried you." Cassie said sheepishly. "But it was a really interesting experience, Sam. You would have loved it." Her eyes shone with excitement. "It was like being a passenger in an actual swan."

"Uh-huh." Sam slung an arm around her shoulder. "You get to tell Jack."

"But…"

"No, we made this deal when you decided you wanted on a SG team." Sam said lightly. "You do crazy stuff; you get to deal with Jack."

Cassie sighed. "He's never letting me off world again, is he?"

Sam laughed but secretly thought Cassie might have a legitimate worry. "You also get to tell your fiancé."

Cassie rolled her eyes, smiling. "Jonas is going to be jealous. He's never turned into a swan."

"Neither have I." Sam said but inwardly agreed with Cassie. Jonas Quinn loved new experiences. It still surprised Sam that Cassie and Jonas had ended up together. They had been close when Jonas had been on Earth, becoming fast friends, but Cassie had been too young and Jonas had mostly ignored the crush she'd had on him. They'd bonded as adults on a shared Langaran-Earth mission though and their relationship had quickly solidified into a real love story.

The rest of the day sped by in a rush. The disaster with the swans had meant morning meetings on the X402 had been postponed to the afternoon; reports from engineering and the infirmary had been delayed.

It was late by the time Sam checked her email.

"Sam,

Firstly, Cassie is never going off world again.

Secondly, Bill yelled at that Sanchez woman for a whole hour. I was kind of impressed. Do we still send scientists to Siberia? You know she actually said the words 'no harm, no fowl?'

Thirdly, Cassie is never going off world again.

Fourthly, are the Geese Guys really Swans because hey, didn't you have seven swans a-swimming this morning?

And lastly, never again.

Happy New Year's Eve!

Always, Jack x"

Sam uploaded the photo of the seven swans in the cargo hold and attached it to an answering email.

"Jack,

Firstly, Cassie is already off world as she's tucked up in bed on the Hammond. She thought the whole thing was awesome, by the way.

Secondly, Bill is a man of hidden depths. And no, we don't send scientists to Siberia but we are sending Sanchez to Atlantis.

Thirdly, see response above.

Fourthly, we don't really know enough about the swan-like ancestor that the Coscorobans descended from to call them swans in the same sense as Earth swans but Earth swans and geese had a common ancestor. So yes, theoretically, we had seven swans a-swimming this morning but them trying to fight the V'Breeni statue was more amusing (see photo).

And lastly, Cassie and I love you too.

Sam x"