The first clear thought that ran through Regina's mind when she slowly started to crawl out of the deep slumber she has been submerged into was that she overslept.
She could feel it in her bones; in the scarce occasions when she had the privilege of sleeping in she would always wake up tired, groggy and a whole less energetic than when waking up from one of her customary sleep deprived nights and that morning she woke up feeling tired as hell.
It has always been like that for her, the more she slept the more tired she would wake up. Sure, the whole thing didn't make any kind of sense to her but that was the way it was. With five hours of sleep she would rise up with all her senses on edge and ready to take over the world… but sleeping more than six hours straight? That was just too exhausting for her mind and body.
"Jesus." She complained, her voice coming out in a raspy groan. Then out of instinct she ran a hand through her untamed hair.
While doing so and as she tried to let her still fuzzy warm chocolate eyes to adjust, the brunette looked around, a bit blinded with the brightness taking all over, thing that got her thinking that yes, she definitely overslept. She knew for sure because the room was already fully illuminated with the morning's stubborn and very annoying rays of light coming through the window and that was a sight she rarely woke up to.
More often than not she would always wake up when it was still dark outside and that the sun was high and shining was the best indicator for her to know that she slept more than what it was really necessary.
Closing her eyes back tight shut because the natural light was bothering her eyesight, Regina cleared her throat and started fumbling around the mattress to get a hold of her phone to check the hour, but instead of finding the device what her hand came in contact with was the unmistakable sensation of a warm body and upon that first touch her eyes opened immediately and her head moved in his direction.
That was when a recollection of what happened the previous night in that very room started to invade her mind.
"Oh…" She whispered, her eyes drinking on the sight of the man sleeping at the other side of the bed.
Now, his features were partially hidden under the arm he carelessly had over his face and his body was tangled up with a thin blanket that barely covered up the fact that he was very much naked underneath it, but there was no way of mistaking him for somebody else. After all, she went to bed with him so it was no wonder that she woke up with him.
Letting escape pass her lips a snort that held no trace of amusement, Regina blinked a couple of times before dragging a hand down her face.
Sure, her mind was still a bit clouded with sleep and she was kind of out of it, but she was still a hundred percent sure that what happened the previous night was nothing more than her screwing up big time.
Yes, there was no other way to describe what she did; she definitely hadn't been thinking rationally when she allowed things to escalate so fast with Robin and now it was time to start regretting things.
It was just that… she didn't know how else to put it into words, but she has been way too emotional after finding out what was it that really made him stay away and what could she say, after hearing about what he went through she ended up going weak for him.
That was the kind of power he unknowingly still had over her, he just opened up and suddenly all she could feel was for him. She only had to imagine what he, the person she has cared more than anyone else in the word felt as his life took a turn for the worse and she was overcome with emotion.
Listening to what he had to say opened up the Pandora box for her and all kinds of feelings started to resurface, raw feelings that she definitely was not ready to deal with.
That was probably why she kissed him, because she didn't know how else to handle the turmoil of emotions ragging inside of her. What she hadn't know was that the kiss seemed to have been the thing to seal the deal because after that not only did she permit it, but she also encouraged for things to go further that what they have ever gone between the two of them.
She gave free reign for his curious fingers to explore her body at will and he sure as hell did, the pad of his fingertips traveling all along her skin and then his hands cupping and grabbing everywhere that he could.
All that she allowed it, her own hands running from his shoulders and up his neck to then go through his silky hair, pulling him as close as she could while her lips desperately searched for his.
He kissed her as long and deep as she was kissing him and that has been too much to resist. The combination of his mouth and his hands stole all kind of common sense out of her and without giving it too much though she ended up giving into him as she has failed to do during their relationship.
She let him kiss her and touch her all over as he undressed her without any kind of inhibition and she even went ahead and did a lot of touching herself while helping him out of his wet clothes; that was how somewhere along the line things got out of control and they ended up pretty much as they have been that last time they were alone in a bed of his, with his body on top of her as he rested right between her legs.
Even as she lay there, hours after the encounter she felt a heat run all the way to her face as she thought back on the way his touch has burnt a path of fire through her skin, on how his scent has invaded all her senses and how the feeling of his naked body insistently pressing against hers emanated such an intense heat that plain and simply made her feel feverish.
In has been in that moment, with her mind deep into the gutter that things felt imminent because really, one thing was letting him do that when they were basically just two crazy hormone teens exploring sensations and a very different one doing it as adults.
It wasn't the same… not even by a long shot; first because there has been no fear or sense of guilt to consume her whole that would hold her back this time and second, because the man he has turned out to be just knew how to touch her and where to kiss her to make her loose it.
She didn't think it through and as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear she just allowed herself to be ruled by sensation.
She ended up wanting him so bad that she ached in the most sweetest of ways and as he dragged his lips down her neck so that he could worry the tender spot where her pulse was beating with his teeth, her hips automatically grinded against his own, searching for that ultimate contact that her body seemed to be craving for.
That has done it, no words were needed from that point on. She plain and simple lost the will to fight it. Ever since she first saw him after so much time she has been trying to cling to her willpower, to retain even a little bit of it, but it has all been in vain because in that bed she just lost her battle to him.
It has been irremediable and yes, in a way it felt like them finally getting together was exactly what destiny wanted, because even though several years had gone by since she has last met with him, he apparently still had the uncanny ability to bend her at his will and make a mess out of her feelings.
She didn't particularly like it because being vulnerable to him was something she couldn't allow herself to be. At least not until she deciphered what was she feeling and what did she want.
True, the previous night she has wanted all of him and in a way she couldn't make herself fully regret what happened, especially in that moment when the memory of him in her was so fresh she could still feel it and not when he was there, finally tangible and within her reach; but realistically speaking she had to consider that in that moment her mind hadn't exactly been in the right place.
That was why now that the heat of the moment was gone and their need for each other was finally satiated that she had to step back and collect herself.
With that in mind she drew in a deep breath and then slowly climbed out of bed. She did it as naked as the day she was born, heading straight towards the bathroom and wondering where did her underwear end up.
Once there she splashed cold water to her face and then proceeded to wash her mouth as best as she could without a toothbrush.
When that was done she took a look at herself through the mirror, her eyes critically burning a hole through her reflection.
Robin… everything that happened went by so fast that she just didn't know how he has been able to make her feel so deeply after so many years. Somehow, someway he just came out of nowhere and she just went weak for him. He called, she answered; he wanted to see her and out to see him she went and now it was this…
Clearing her throat and pushing the corner of her lips with the tip of her tongue, Regina looked away and swirled on her heels to go and take a shower. She could detect the faint scent of sex and something else that she was going to label as pure Robin clinking to her skin and she couldn't think straight like that.
Now, washing the smell of him from her skin with water and soap was easy, but as she found out, the memory of what happened between them was a bit harder to wash out.
It was just that… what happened between them has been simply amazing. Yes, she wasn't going to deny it, after all two decades of build-up made the moment feel even more intense than what it really was.
It went like this, if she closed her eyes she could definitely imagine and maybe even feel how it was that his expert fingers worked her or how the full intensity of his eyes dug deep into her own stare as he drove into her. That was the impact he made on her and if she wasn't careful she could end up being a complete goner for him just as she has been in her youth.
And if at sixteen he has been able to turn her world upside down then she didn't want to know the things the man he has turned up to be could provoke in her. Last night has been a preview and a repeat when her mind wasn't in the right place was going to completely doom her.
That's why she needed to be extremely careful.
Killing the shower, Regina shook her head and walked out quickly to wrap her frame with a towel, then without completely drying off she grabbed her dress and made it towards the bed; her intentions finding her underwear to get dress and leave.
Robin was still there, he hadn't moved from the spot where she left him and she took a moment to really observe him. He was on his back, one of his arms thrown to his face to apparently cover his eyes and the other one just above his head.
The position looked way too uncomfortable to her but judging by the relaxed look on his face, she was going to assume he was just fine. He seemed to be into a deep slumber, his breathing was even, his lips slightly pouted and his hair going in all directions.
Despite her initial resolution of being careful, it made her smile to see him like that because that way he somehow reminded her of the boy he has been. The one who used to find everything to be amusing and who always had an easy smile on his lips.
But he wasn't that boy anymore, he probably stopped being it as soon as life caught up to him when he left all those years ago, and if there was a doubt in her mind about how he has changed she just had to take a real good look at him or maybe just remember what happened in that bed a few hours earlier.
He was a man now, one who knew very well what he was doing and not the curious boy who's restless hands liked to touch her wherever she allowed him to. No, now he touched all he wanted to touch and he did it good.
So good that he made out of her a trembling mess overcome with desire.
Shaking her head because she wouldn't be doing any kind of rational thinking if she remained standing there, letting her eyes roam the outline of his body and thinking on what they did, she closed the distance that separated them and touched his elbow lightly.
"Robin."
Now yes, she knew she could just gather her things and leave while he was asleep and maybe a devilish voice inside her head was urging her to do just that. It will serve him well to feel even if it was in a lesser scale what it was like to be left without any kind of explanation.
But if truth had to be told she wasn't an eye for an eye kind of person and after listening to his version of events, she didn't exactly feel like seeking revenge.
She also wasn't sure what she wanted or how to feel so she better just analyze things before doing more stupid things. Like sleeping with the man who broke her heart years ago, again.
Clearing her throat and blinking a few times, Regina touched him again, this time shaking him a little.
He stirred at that, humming and removing the arm covering his face so that he could take a look at her. He said nothing though and Regina wondered if he had really woken up or if he just opened his eyes out of instinct.
"I have to get going and you are laying over my underwear." She said, perhaps a bit too curtly and at that he did react, sitting up and running a hand down his face.
"Don't you think it's way too early to be thinking about going anywhere?" He said, and now that he spoke he definitely sounded as if he was at least half asleep. He did however lift his hands and placed them on her hips to bring her even closer.
Once she was where he apparently wanted her, he kissed her shoulder, his hands getting a stronger grip on her as his lips moved to her collarbone.
Placing a hand to the back of his head with the intention of making him stop dragging his lips along her skin, Regina sighed, burying her fingers into his hair instead and secretly enjoying the silky feeling.
"It's past ten in the morning."
"On a Sunday that's too bloody early. Come back to bed." He replied and by the way he slid his hands down to her thighs and then back to her hips she was going to take a wild guess and say that he didn't want her in bed so that they could sleep.
"I… really can't. Henry is coming home today and I have to be there before he arrives." Now yes, her ex-husband never brought the boy back before five in the afternoon but that was something Robin didn't need to know.
"Alright, then let me get dress so that I can get you home." Before she could tell him that it wasn't necessary that he took her there, Robin got to his feet and headed towards the bathroom.
Rolling her eyes because he wasn't making it any easier for her to just leave, she blew out a breath. But then she just reached for her underwear and started to get dressed.
By the time she was putting on her shoes he reemerged, looking more awake and much to her relief with some clothes on.
"You don't have to take me home, I can get there on my own." She said without looking directly at him.
She could see him out of the corner of her eye though and she noticed how he basically halted on his tracks so that he could stare at her.
"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I have my car just around the block."
Regina hummed, searching for her other shoe to put it on as well. "That's sweet but it's not really necessary, I'll call an Uber and that way you won't loose your spot. God knows getting a parking around here is a pain."
Moving from the spot he has been standing, Robin walked towards her and then he crouched in front of her, placing his hands right at her sides as he looked up to her.
Regina tried not to look at him at first and just focused on her shoes, but at the end she gave up, her eyebrow arching as their eyes met.
"Is everything alright, you know, between us?"
Shrugging, she lowered her gaze, finishing up with her footwear. "Sure."
At the response, Robin bit his lips into his mouth and nodded. "Then why do I have the feeling you are about to bail out on me?"
Yes, maybe she wasn't saying it out loud but her body language and her detached tone spoke volumes. The way she was trying to avoid eye contact didn't help the bad feeling that was now settling in his gut either.
She also wasn't providing an answer to his question so he reached for her chin and made her look at him.
With her eyes back on his, he studied her face and tried to wonder what was going on inside her head.
He didn't know what to make out of her attitude because it was the last thing he has been expecting. The previous night has been amazing in all ways imaginable, it was everything he has ever hoped for and not just because of the physical aspect of it, so that she was now acting this way terrified him.
It may be that it sounded corny and all that but he didn't want to loose her all over again. He couldn't. Not when has been finally able to reach to her.
He has been hoping for his chance to finally come over for way too long so it would be devastating for him to have a taste of it only for it to slip through his fingers and end up in nothing.
"Talk to me, love."
Sucking in a breath at the way he called her love like in the old times, Regina closed her eyes and shook her head. She didn't know what to say or how to do it so she just went through with it. "I'm not bailing out on you…"
"But? Because somehow I feel there's going to be a but here, right?" He interrupted her while using his thumb to caress her cheek lightly and she opened her eyes to look at him once again.
He was just there, looking at her with all the intensity of his blue eyes settled on her own eyes and she had to close her hands into fists not to reach for him and kiss whatever doubt he was having out of him.
"I think this is too much too soon. I… you just came back here a couple of days ago and look at what we are doing." Rolling her eyes and scoffing she shrugged. "I'm confused and doing this is not helping in any possible way."
His hands went to take hers, easing the fists and bringing them to his lips so that he to kiss her knuckles.
Regina just watched him, knowing full well that if she didn't take some time to step back she was going to jump head first into the whole thing and that was something she didn't want to rush.
It was bad enough that she ended up sleeping with him so soon.
"Maybe you are right thinking that this may be going too fast, but this is us, Regina, it's not like I'm some stranger who just waltzed into town with the intention of getting you in my bed just for the sake of it."
"Aren't you?" Because that was exactly what he just did and she felt for it.
Blinking in what seemed to be confusion, Robin frowned. "Of course not." He scoffed and dug deep into her eyes. "Regina… I didn't come here for a quick fumble, I mean last night was amazing and I won't lie about it, I wanted it, but that's not all I want from you."
"And what is it that you really want?"
"Everything." He shrugged. "What we were supposed to have all along if it wasn't because I screwed up."
Clearing her throat, she looked down so that she could take a quick glance to the way his hands engulfed hers. "Here's the thing, you talk about wanting this and that and how you still have feelings for me and how it is us… but the truth is that there hasn't been an us in a very long time. I haven't seen you in eighteen years and that's more than half my life. What we did here is us rushing things and that's no way to do this."
Pushing the inside of his cheek with his tongue, Robin blinked slowly. "So what are you saying?"
"I don't know." And that was the issue, that she didn't know what she was saying or what she meant. She just didn't know anything of what was going on. "I guess that I need time to figure out what the hell is going on."
Keeping his hold on her hands, Robin tilted his head to the side. He did it probably trying to search for her eyes and because no matter what nonsense could come out of her mouth she always ended up bending for him, she lifted her face so that she could look into his eyes.
"Eighteen years is more than half my life as well, and yet it's the amount of time I've been waiting for this moment. I know you moved on so this probably doesn't make any sense to you, but I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say that I still have feelings for you."
"I don't think you are lying about it, but maybe you feel that way because you've been idealizing me all this time. What you feel is not even for me, for who I am now."
"Maybe I did idealize you. I mean in my worse days the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that kept me standing so yes, it could be that I put you high in a pedestal and clung to this memory I had of you; but at the same time this, what I feel is very much real. I knew it as soon as I saw you in that coffee shop, I knew it last night and I know it now."
With that said, his hand moved to the back of her head and rising a little, he kissed her.
It was something brief, a tender meeting of their lips that ended too soon, but when he pulled away she kept her eyes closed as his fingers ran through her hair.
"And if you tell me that you don't feel it too then who is the one lying?"
Swallowing on dry, Regina bit on her lips. He was right in something because as it turned out to be, she did have feelings for him. Now she had yet to find out what did those feelings meant.
Was it nostalgia or could it be that what she has felt for him never really disappeared and just got buried under a bunch of other feelings?
"I have to go." She said at last because if she didn't go she was going to cave in.
Pressing his forehead to hers, Robin scoffed. Regina felt it, his breath on her face and her heart tugging a little.
"I don't want to lose you all over again, so tell me what you want me to do to make this right."
Using her hands to grab his face, Regina opened her eyes. She could tell him so many things in that moment, but at the end she just went for the simple answer. "I just need some time to let all this register in."
Robin's lips curved into a sad smile. "Not another eighteen years, right?"
"No, not that long."
"Alright then. I mean what else can I do? I don't want to force you into anything."
"Thanks." Nodding and dropping her hand from his face, she got to her feet and that way, without daring to take a look back in case she would change her mind, she gathered the rest of her things and just left…
