A/N: I truly hope that you have all enjoyed reading this. This may be the last chapter and I really would appreciate any review you might want to give me… this hopefully will bring my mind and heart on the path of writing again. I've been in hiatus for quit some time now. Got two unfinished stories hanging over my head… (hides in shame :P ) and I really hope to be able to finish those. Enjoy.
CHAPTER 7
Words
The words…
… that changes their life even more.
It was a week after the Halloween party, and Emma was driving her yellow bug out of Vancouver. She drummed her fingers restlessly on the steering wheel while trying to concentrate on the songs playing on the radio. But her mind was focused on something else entirely... or someone else to be specific. She had not seen Killian in the past week, they had only talked a few times over the phone. They had now made plans to spend the weekend at his place. Odd as it may seem Emma had actually never visited his place. It had always been Killian driving into town since he had the most time on his hands. Emma was looking forward to actually see his place. He had told her bits and pieces about what the place looked like.
When she finally pulled up to the house she took a few moments to take it all in. It was almost as she pictured it from his description; a weather-worn farmhouse with a small porch in the front, old trees and shrubbery overgrowing the front yard. It had a certain charm to it and she liked it. She knew her mother might think otherwise but in her own mind it was perfect and it fit who Killian was. She smiled to herself while thinking about him. Emma was looking forward to spending the weekend with him. They didn't have a grand and glorious plan, just doing whatever they wanted. She liked that idea. After a week full of work and having just come out of a night shift 6 hours ago, she cherished that this Friday and the next couple of days would be spent with Killian.
She knew that she came some 40 minutes earlier than they planned. She had just not been able to go back to sleep when she woke up. Instead of texting him she decided to just show up, knowing that he was at home all day.
Emma walked up to the house and knocked on the door. She fiddled nervously with the hem of her leather jacket while waiting. When the door never opened she started to become slightly nervous. Had he forgotten? Just as her mind was about to run off with her she heard some noise from the backyard, it sounded like someone what chopping wood. She gathered that he had not heard her car and she looked around to find a way to the backyard. She spotted a small pathway leading around the house and walked that way.
When she walked into the backyard and paused for a moment taking in the scenery; the yard was rather large and just behind it was a vast meadow. It only took a second for her to pinpoint where her boyfriend was. Killian was standing by the edge of the garden close to a small shed that she gathered was for storing wood. He had his back turned to her and she watched him for some time, enjoying the view so to speak.
Killian was chopping wood and while he did wear a coat Emma could still see the good form he was in and the way he moved into each swing was captivating. She licked her lips and decided to let him know that she was there.
"Hey Jones," Emma shoved her hands into her pockets trying to look casual and at ease. All she really wanted was to run to him and hold him. She grinned when she saw him freeze mid-swing, then turning around while still holding the ax above his head. The initial look on his face soon turned to a big smile that filled it. Then he dropped the ax to the ground wiping his hands off in his pants and in only a few long strides finally stood in front of her.
"Hey, Swan." He moved in and gently took her face in his hands. Killian had missed her since the Halloween party. Their lips met in a sweet kiss. Emma reached up, placed her hands on his chest and just enjoying the feel of him so close to her again.
When they pulled apart he looked at her with joy but also slightly curious, "Did I forget the time or are you early?" Emma grinned at him and shrugged her shoulders, "I woke up an hour before my alarm was set and couldn't fall asleep again." She gave him a mischievous smile and whispered: "guess I just wanted to be with my pirate." Killian laughed at this and gave her a short kiss and then took her hand and walked them to the house.
"I won't complain about that, Love. I'll just need a bath after my workout out here, hope you don't mind." Emma shook her head and walked into his house for the first time. She felt the homey atmosphere from the moment she walked into his living room. She felt at home right away, no fancy designer furniture or high tech stuff filling the space. It was simple and wonderful just like Killian. She turned to him and walked into his arms and kissed him.
"I'll just make myself at home then," She nodded her head to the couch. Killian smiled and said: "you do that Love, there is a cold beer or a soda in the fridge if you want something." He winked at her and told her that he would be back in a moment.
Emma decided to go for the cold drink first and walked into the kitchen. She was not really surprised how neat and organized the whole place seemed to be. She knew Killian enjoyed having everything on its rightful place. She picked out a soda from the fridge, saving the beer for later. Then she walked into his living room. Emma walked over to the high work desk in the center as she got curious about his flowers. Pretty much all the space on that side of the desk was filled with orchids in every imaginable color. She knew he had a greenhouse somewhere on the property, but he said that these flowers needed the extra heat and special attention. Gingerly she walked among the pretty flowers and dared to breathe in one or two of the beautiful creations.
As she walked around in the room she suddenly noticed that the bathroom door was visible from where she stood, and lo and behold it was slightly ajar. She stopped short in her steps when she realized that she was pretty much able to see him lying peacefully in his bathtub. He had a frigging bathtub. She did feel a certain amount of heat rise to her cheeks when she saw the view she had if she only just moved her head slightly more to the right. His head was resting on the side of the tub, his eyes closed. He had apparently already washed his hair. She barely managed to really get a good look on the rest of his upper body when his warm voice spoke: "Enjoying the view there Love?"
Crap! She was caught and she moved with just a bit too much force backward and in the process she managed to topple over a flower pot with a medium sized orchid. Luckily the pot never rolled over the edge of the table and Emma frantically grabbed the poor plant and did a very poor job in rescuing it. "Fuck, bloody hell, I'm soooo so, sorry Killian… I…. I…" She turned her head towards the bathroom door and she thought she might imagine it but the door did seem a bit more open now, and the view had improved immensely. Killian had his back turned to the door with a towel wrapped around his middle, but Emma still had a pretty decent view of his back. She gulped down air that seemed to have dislocated itself in her windpipe. The way his back muscles moved while he quickly dried off his hair made her heartbeat much too fast.
"Don't worry love, I'm sure it will survive." Killian laughed while pulling on a navy blue bathrobe. Then he walked out to her. He placed a gentle hand on her arm, kissed her temple and reached for the misfortuned orchid. Emma took a small step back and watched him work with the flower and the soil, making it all come back to its rightful place.
"Did I ruin it?" She asked tentatively when he clapped the dirt off his hands and placed the pot back to its original spot. He shook his head and turned to her: "Nah, one tiny root might have been the sole casualty here, no worries Love it will live." He reached for her and wrapped his arms around her. It was only when he felt her nose make contact to his neck that he realized that he was still dressed in his robe. He pulled back slightly, wanting to find some clothes, but Emma stopped him and smiled up at him.
"You smell nice." The small tentative smile on her lips made him forget how to breathe. He would lie if he said that he hadn't dreamt of being with her on a more intimate level. And when her hot breath tickled over his chin he found it rather difficult keeping his focus on clothes and other trivial things.
Tilting his head towards hers they met in a kiss that made the world spin and their minds forgetting the world around them. He felt her nimble fingers slide up to his neck, pulling him closer.
They have had their fair share of heated and passionate makeout sessions but never crossing that last line of intimacy. When he suddenly felt her exploring hands move down to the open v of his bathrobe his mind clicked back to reality. With gentle care, he stilled her searching hands trying to catch her eyes. When she finally pulled out of her own daze she timidly looked up at him through her eyelashes.
He took a deep calming breath, willing his whole body to cool down and then he said: "Bloody hell woman, are you trying to break down a man's last resolve." Emma grinned mischievously while she let her fingers move slightly under his hands, just barely making contact with his heated skin. "Maybe I am." She whispered, then placed a small lingering kiss on his chin and took a step back.
She knew that they both had held back on going all the way. Over the past few weeks some small changes in their relationship had shifted and they had both felt that were ready to take the next step. In Emma's mind, she wanted it more than anything, but she also felt that she needed to really talk with him about how they felt about each other. In the past weeks, she had realized that the actual words 'I Love You' had never really been spoken between them. She wanted to tell him that she really did love him, before venturing into an intimate relationship with him. She had sensed that he had at times been on the verge to actually say those words but something had always held him back. She didn't know what it was, but she gathered it had to do with his past and all the hardship he had had to deal with. She had not been ready to say those words either. Now, here in his cozy country home, she felt so much at ease and at home that she made up her mind to have that talk with him
Killian gave a small kiss on her hair and then told her that he would put on some clothes. Emma nodded and took her soda and walked over to sit on the couch.
Killian took a little longer getting dressed; he needed to get every part of his body cooled down. Thinking back on the past few minutes he knew without a doubt that something had shifted between them, he wanted to be with her in both mind and body. He sighed, as the mere thought of her body did some crazy things to his own body. Willing everything to go down again, he thought about how far they could have gone out there. He knew that he loved her; he just hadn't said those exact words to her yet. They hung in the air so many times whenever they were together and he would kiss her goodnight after a wonderful date. The words just never moved past his lips. This weekend he wanted to change that.
He walked out to her and they sat close together on the couch while talking about what they wanted to do this weekend.
"I would like to see your greenhouse and..." Emma trailed off and gestures around her, indicating that she wanted to see more of his little part of the world.
"There really isn't all that much out there right now as it being November and all... but sure we could go for a walk before we plan dinner." Killian smiled and still marveled that she actually would want to see more of his work with plants. It really wasn't the most exciting thing in the world. But when he mentioned this she just leaned closer to him and whispered: "but it's your world, and I want to know more about you." She gave him a small kiss and pulled away but before she could sit back again Killian stopped her and pulled her in again claiming her lips in a deep kiss that made them forget what plans they had just made.
Emma ended up sitting in his lap and she really didn't mind his wandering and warm hands ending up just inside the hem of her sweater, his heated fingers slid over her lower back and send shivers up her spine. She moaned in response to his ministrations and the sound made Killian pull away slightly giving her a sheepish grin and he whispered against her lips: "Thought you wanted to go explore my little kingdom here?" Emma grinned mischievously and mumbled against his lips: "later my pirate… later." Killian only hummed in response while he let his mouth and hands worship the siren sitting in his lap.
How long they ended up sitting there neither of them could really tell. When they finally came back to the world, they both agreed that a bit of fresh air might be good.
Killian was somewhat surprised how interested Emma really was in the little business he had going out in his greenhouse. It was somewhat a relief for him that she never showed any signs of her looking down on his work. He knew she had grown up in a somewhat high-society family, her mother being mayor made that rather difficult to ignore. When he told her that, with just the barest hint of embarrassment in his voice, she had been very adamant about how she really looked upon his line of work.
"Killian I have never been one to look down on people choosing to live their life the way they want to live. I can see how proud you are of everything you create and do out here, and you should be, you have a gift and I would love nothing more than to part of that. I don't give a shit about who my family might be, or whatever my mother thinks of it all. All I care about is you and how much... how much I love you." She was somewhat out of breath after giving her little declaration that ended with the very words she had really wanted to share with him, oh so many times. When she saw his eyebrows lift in surprise and the small happy grin on his lips she felt her heart soar and whirl into something she couldn't yet define.
Killian felt breathless after her declaration of love and he so desperately wanted to say the very same word back to her. But the logic part of his brain took over before he could respond truly to her words, and he then nervously scratched behind his ear and stuttered out: "oh wow Emma I… I… that is something, I really… am… very…" he paused, searching for the right word: "... so very happy to hear that… I mean I had a feeling that you really didn't mind whatever I do, and I'm so grateful to have met someone like you...I…" his words faded away and he looked at her and gave her a nervous smile. He reached for her and pulled her into a hug, trying to get his mind to work properly again. He had seen the tiniest hint of a disappointment in her eyes when he never got around saying the very same words back to her. But her arms just hugged him closer and she whispered: "It's okay Killian, I know… I know… I'm here, with you now." He was beyond amazed how much she really could read him like this. Killian gave a big sigh of relief when he pulled away from her and suggested that they went inside to start making dinner.
Emma agreed to this and took his hand. While they walked back into his house she thought about all that had happened in the past few minutes. She had seen his misery and pain over how he had never managed to say the words that she so clearly read in his eyes whenever they were together. She knew in her heart that he did love her, and wanted to build on this together with her. Knowing the past history, she knew how much the death of Milah had hurt him, to the extent that he had lot of problems dealing with anything else than just barely surviving. She hoped that she could somehow help him through this and make him see and acknowledge the love he held in his heart.
They made their way to the kitchen and worked effortlessly together in making lasagna and a light salad. While setting the table he started making evasive comments and excuses about how small it was and the mismatched chairs. Emma moved to him and took the plates out of his hands, and placed them on the wooden dining table. She took his hands in hers and said firmly: "please look at me Killian..." and when he finally did look at her she continued: "I really like it here, I love you I love this house and all the mismatched furniture. It tells a story about you, and it shows a home, a home I want to be part of if you'll let me."
Killian sighed and gave her a lopsided smile as he was beyond amazed that this woman really didn't care about how everything matched. "Sorry, love... I just need to... I mean I still have to get used to having someone in my life again. And I'm so grateful for having met you and for you to understand my heart as much as you do. Thank you." He gave her a short kiss, which might would have become even longer had it not been for the timer indicating that the lasagna was done.
They sat down at the table and talked even more about various things going on in their life. After their dinner, they cleaned up the kitchen and then they sat down on the couch. Emma curled up next to him and rested her head on his shoulder while holding his hand in hers. They didn't speak all that much, and while they had put on a movie both didn't really watch what was going on. Emma found herself turned more towards Killian than the TV screen. Her fingers moved over the skin on his hand, then moved her hand up his arm and she let her hand rest on his chest. At one point Killian did try to follow the action in the movie but when he felt her warm and searching fingers move over his shirt and idly circling around his nipples, he gave up again and opted to just rest his head against the back of the couch, trying to breathe calmly. Emma had turned even more towards him and she was practically sprawled on top of him. He lifted his head and grinned down at her, raising a questioning eyebrow.
Emma noticed his intense stare and felt her face heat up. Emma bit down on her lower lip and gave him a mischievous smile. She raised herself up, placed her hands on his cheeks, and leaned over. Emma let her lips kiss away all the worry and pain, she saw hidden in his eyes. She wanted him to know that she loved him no matter how glum and dark his past might have been. When a low groan rumbled through his body, she smiled to herself while still letting her tongue play with his heated lips. She felt him hold on tightly to her hips holding her close to his body. When she made a small movement with her hips she felt his arousal pressing even closer to her center. They both moaned in response to this intensified closeness. Emma let her mouth wander over his face and his stubble tickled her lips, she could hear that his breathing was coming out in short pants and she smiled smugly to herself.
When her mouth reached his ear she whispered in a low voice: "I love you, oh God I love you so much, Killian… I…" she felt her voice break with emotions. Their embrace was intense and she hoped her words resonated inside him the way they did within her. She pulled away from his face but kept her body pressed close to his. His eyes were closed but the small smile on his lips told her that he was very happy. When he finally opened up his eyes she saw nothing but pure happiness and love.
"Emma, my Emma… I… you have… you have changed my life back to something that I had thought would be forever lost. You gave me joy, and meaningfulness, by just being you and choosing to be with me, but most of all you gave me love… I love you, Emma… by Gods do I love you. I… wanted to say that sooner, but you know… life and all… I…" Emma placed a finger over his lips stopping him from making even more unnecessary excuses.
"I know Killian, I know. You make me very happy too, and I'm just glad that we found one another. And I want to help you let go of every sad and dreary part of your past." She slid her fingers soothingly through his hair and gave him a short kiss and said: "I know the scariest part is letting go of your past, and whatever may happen in the future nothing can hurt us now. We have love now, both of us, and I'm very happy that you feel the same way."
Killian gave her a huge grin and said: "me too. My brother once said to me that love is like a ghost you can't control. I guess that's true when I lost my… my Milah I felt as if I lost the whole concept of love altogether, it flitted away between my fingers just like a ghost. Nothing made sense and I let myself slip into darkness. Only with the help of my stubborn arse of a brother did I make a life for me again and started doing this whole flower business." Killian shrugged and made a gesture towards the other side of the living room.
Emma nodded her head in understanding and whispered: "I love you so much, I don't want one day to go without me saying those words to you in one way or another." Killian smiled at this and whispered: "I know, I want to say it every day too… I love you." His lips met hers in a blazing kiss that melted away any other words that they might have planned to speak right now. No word was really necessary at this point, they both felt the pull towards the other, and both just let their bodies and lips convey every emotion running through them right now.
Within a few short moments, it became clear that they were moving towards a place where they had not yet ventured into. When Killian let his hands travel under her shirt and let his fingers skim under her breasts, Emma felt her whole body ignite with passion. She knew she wanted to live forever with the man in front of her, and she wanted to give him everything.
Emma moved her hand down to the open V of his shirt and started undoing the buttons there. She felt him shortly pause his kiss in surprise but she let one hand move behind his neck and pulled his mouth even closer to hers. She continued her quest to undo the buttons and when she had the whole shirt open she let her hands slide down his chest and let her fingers play with the soft chest hair covering his body. Emma had seen him without a shirt before but with her mission in mind, she wanted to experience everything with him.
Killian was wrapped up in a cocoon of storming emotions. It all blazed into a firestorm when he felt her searching fingers slide over his chest, circling his nipples. When she kissed him even deeper and then sucked his lower lip between hers while she scraped her fingernails over his sensitive skin, he hissed in both pain and pleasure. He had kept his own hands just skimming over her sides and back, under her shirt no less; but now he placed one hand over hers and pulled away from her. He looked at her hooded eyes and saw nothing but raw passion and want in her green orbs, her pupils were dilated more than he had ever seen. He gulped down a breath of air and tried to muster out something coherent to say.
"Love, I… I love you… bloody hell woman…" the words came out in a groan when Emma did a small rolling movement with her hips, grinding her core even closer to his hardness. Emma grinned mischievously and reached for his lips again. Killian pulled her closer, with one hand tangled up in her golden hair; he knew that they would soon be standing on the edge of no return. He wanted this, just as much as she obviously wanted things to move forward. It took every single last ounce of willpower to pull away from her hungry lips, and both gave a small whimper in protest. But Killian placed both hands on the side of her face looking her closely in her eyes and found air to speak after taking a deep breath of air: "God woman, you are amazing and I want you, by god's do I want you. I just need to know if this is what you want? I want nothing more than to give every last part of me to you, and… I… want to make sure that you… we… are ready." He saw her eyes growing even darker with lust; he felt his own heart swell with love and was sure that his own eyes burned with an equal amount of passion.
Emma was breathing in short gasps as she tried to focus on what he asked her. When her mind caught up with his question she felt her heart race even faster. She bit down on her lower lip and nodded her head, and breathed out in a small whimpering whisper: "I want this… I want you… I want us… to… to be together… I know you want this too." with her final words she let her hips move over his arousal once more, making him groan in pleasure. She grinned triumphantly when he nodded his head in acceptance, they both wanted this, they were both ready to take this new step in their relationship.
Words were no longer necessary and they met in a heated and passionate kiss once more. Hands moving over more and more exposed skin. Killian paused their movements when they were down to only their underwear and suggested they took this into the bedroom. Emma nodded and rose from him, took his hand and followed him into his bedroom. It actually took some time to get there, as they took stolen and heated kisses along the way. Some ended with Emma being trapped between Killian and a wall.
When they finally reached his bedroom, Emma took one look around his personal space and was pleased to see that it matched the rest of the house. And when she saw the bed she had to smile a little, it was by no means very big; they would certainly sleep very close tonight.
"It's a good thing I like to cuddle after sex." She gave a small laugh at this hoping that he would not take offense to her somewhat mocking statement about his bed. Killian only laughed with her and scratched behind his ear, shrugging his shoulders then said: "That is a good thing, Love… I… ah… well, I don't think I really did give the size of the bed much thought when I… we planned this weekend. Sorry love."
Emma reached for him and gave him a warm smile and rose up on her toes giving him a sweet kiss and whispered: "it doesn't matter, I want this." She molded her body close to his and she gently pushed him towards the bed.
When they finally came down from their rollercoaster ride of passion and fire, they found themselves lying snuggled close together on the bed. Emma was resting her head on his chest trying to regain her normal breathing. Everything had been perfect, even the small imperfections when something didn't work out due to the size of the bed. She was happy and content in a way that she had never been before. Whatever may come their way in the future would not break them apart, the words "I Love you" was what bound them together. Those words would be what they would build their future on.
Killian lay with his arms around the siren that had just moments before obliterated his whole world. Together as one they had moved in unison in making their pieces fit together in a perfect symphony of love and passion. His head was still spinning with everything that had happened. Killian was beyond thrilled at the idea of having this wonderful woman in his life, and being with her this whole weekend. But something must be done about the bed and the sooner the better. When he with a slurred and sleep filled voice suggested that they went bed shopping the next day Emma laughed happily at the idea. She would love that.
The rest of the weekend was spent shopping for the new bed and then there was the task of testing said bed. In all their waking hours they both felt so much more at ease around one another and they both knew that the words "I love you" had changed their lives.
THE END
A/N: well this is it… I think… at least this is where I'll be leaving it for the time being… have a small idea about letting it continue on to at least one more chapter w. a possible wedding… THAT might come out as an epilogue. Depending on the responds I get from this story.
And if there are some that want a more detailed picture of their first time together I might also be inclined to actually write out and M rated version. Let me know… I've written some M rated stuff before.
