Incubation
Part Seven
Allen blinked in the darkness and stared at the faint light reflecting on the ceiling from the window. It had just gotten dark, from what he gathered, and it was suddenly apparent that they had actually slept all of the day away—waking only for scheduled meals and trips to the bathroom to let Kanda spew his guts. Allen was thankful he had a strong stomach in order to be there while he did that…but he was starting to feel really horrible about the way his partner looked like he was in pain every time he heaved—and most likely was in a lot of pain. The red splotches that were occasionally coughed up were a testament to how his organs were still being terribly assaulted by the creative force of the Innocence. All he could do was try to support him and stay with him for long period of time to let him leech off the energy he wasn't using.
As they were, Allen was lying flat on his back—with his arms spread out at his sides-with Kanda laying face down against him; bare chest to bare chest. He could feel the warm tingling sensation where his lover was skin to skin with him and he was able to determine it to the Innocence at work. Normally, sleeping for half of the day would have bothered him—or simply lying silently in bed would have bored him to death—but with the way his energy was being dissolved right out of him, he just didn't care and slept nearly as much as Kanda.
He heard a small grumble and the body above him shifted. That was getting more and more frequent as the days passed and usually it ended up with Kanda turning on his back. Allen suspected it was simply getting too uncomfortable to put any pressure on the front. According to Komui, he would actually be unable to lie on his stomach very soon, just because of how much his organs were suffering.
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Hmm…" Allen stirred more at the sound and turned his head to see light leaking under the crack o f the door. "Yeah?"
"Allen, it's Komui."
"Oh. Come in. It's unlocked," he spoke groggily, shifting with Kanda to lay the man on his side next to him.
The door opened gently and Komui stepped in, closing it behind him and moving quietly to put some low light into the room via an oil lamp. The soft light flickered into the dark room after a moment, but it wasn't enough to disturb Kanda.
"How is he doing tonight?"
"He's been sleeping pretty constantly…but when he does get up, he's either eating or throwing up. Isn't there any way to calm his vomiting? He's really taking that hard now and it's getting to the point where he loses orientation afterward."
"Loses orientation?"
"Yeah, it's almost like he's delirious. I had to hold him up and carry him back to bed last time. When he'd not out of it, he won't let me help him, so I don't know what I can do to ease his suffering." Allen voice was soft, but strong with his concern. He simply ran the palm of his hand down Kanda's side warmly, eliciting an almost unregistered sigh from the sleeping man.
"Unfortunately, the pain is going to be something we can only do so much for, but I can see about quelling the extreme vomiting. We're going to have to increase his nutrients if he keeps losing them as he is. Has he expressed feeling any tenderness around the 'womb'?"
"He said that the only thing that doesn't hurt is where the parasite is located."
"That's a good sign. It means the area is protecting itself despite the harsh conditions of the rest of his body. I don't think it will be this extreme for too much longer. Once the protective pocket fully forms, it will be able to work with his body without eating already existing tissue."
Allen leaned up on an elbow and watched the subject of the conversation sleeping. He looked tired, even at rest. A little pang of guilt ran through him…he knew it couldn't be helped for who was in this predicament; but he still wished that it hadn't been Kanda. That man was the last person who really should be in such a mind challenging situation. Kanda was very, horribly, bad at accepting things that he didn't want to believe. He was still referring to the baby by names like "parasite" and "tumor" and he refused to call his condition by what it really was.
Pale fingers brushed over the tired man's cheek and he felt him stir a bit, again. "Kanda, it's dinner time."
"Hnng." The low grunt slipped out after several moments.
"Kanda," he tried again. Komui conveniently only seemed to choose to bother them when it was about time for them to at least try to be up for a while. "Time to get up."
"Hnnn…." A mumble against his neck slipped back into a coherent grunt, followed by a curt, "no."
"Yes. You need to try to eat something. You're not just eating for you, remember?"
"Hnnnng….hm…Yeah…..I'm also….eating for whatever…" A soft sigh left, partially showing coherency. "…I throw up in."
"Well, he appears to be full of delight tonight. I'll leave and give you a chance to rouse him," the Chinese man smiled, watching Allen rubbing his back and trying to stir him more awake. "When you're both dressed and composed, please come to the lounge on this wing. General Tiedoll is here to see Kanda."
And that was all it took to snap Kanda to attention. Subconsciously, the name of his General just slipped through all of his sleep walls and smacked him wide awake—almost painfully, "hnnng…excuse….me….did you…say, Tiedoll?"
"Oh, good evening Kanda. Tiedoll arrived earlier and—"
"My fucking god, you told him! You told him! You fucking told him didn't you!" He sat up with more pained effort than he wanted to admit; but the information that just sunk into his brain made him just power through the agony.
"It was important to tell your General, so he doesn't have to wonder why you are not accompanying him or taking any missions. He is your cover. He's working with us to make certain you are safe. We didn't tell him everything—such as you and Allen—but we told him the general idea."
"I cannot…I cannot believe this. What god hates me this fucking mu—wait. Wait. Wait. You just said we. Who is we. I was asleep, moyashi was asleep. Lenalee and dumbass are on a mission, last I recall. And other than Jerry, who the fuck else knows?" He was almost to the point of shaking and he could already feel the urges to empty his stomach beginning.
"Well," Komui started with a sigh and folded his arms, but clearly making certain to keep his distance from either of the younger boys. He wasn't stupid enough to think that Kanda couldn't still put him in a world of hurt if he could reach him. "I've had help in research on this, because I just cannot juggle my main duties and all of this without it becoming apparent."
"Who?"
"General Cross has been assisting me."
Allen felt his body suddenly go cold. It was as if those magical words had drained his body of any blood he ever had. It actually took several more minutes for the information to truly sink in and connect with his horror stricken brain. If he recalled one thing during his time with his Master…It was that he'd drilled….beaten…and grinded protection into his head. Even if he wasn't much for a role model figure, Cross was a masterful womanizer and thus deemed it very, very important to teach Allen not to end up an unintended father.
Oh god.
Oh God.
OH GOD.
But…this was a different circumstance, right? It's not like they could have ever expected something like this from two men. So Cross would look passed the fact that they'd romped about for…oh nearly a year…without any care in the world. Right? Oh god, probably not. He was probably waiting for the appropriate moment to come out and knock his block off before stealing Kanda and his baby away from him as punishment. And make them into his debt slaves.
"W….why is Cross in on this, Komui?" Allen choked with a whine.
"Because General Cross was the only one I could consult with good faith that he wouldn't report to Central. I apologize for not saying anything, but I'd rather have kept the both of you relaxed. Cross is a scientist and a brilliant mind. He took this as a challenge."
Kanda's face was contorting into expressions that Komui wasn't even sure which ones. It was a flash of horrified and mad, flickered with disbelief. "You're telling me…that Cross Marian…has been looking at all of my tests and information since…when?"
"Since just after I had all those tests done on you. I needed a second mind on this. You have to understand, Kanda, this is actually a very huge deal. Cross is very familiar with the complicated nature of Innocence and he was rather interested and was very eager to assist me."
Oh god, he's doing this to spite me.
"Wait…does he know it's…Um…" Allen felt a slight flush of embarrassment as the thought hit his brain. "…mine?"
"I didn't tell him…but he figured that out on his own. I apologize Allen…"
I will never hear the end of this.
"I see…"
"Well, I'm going to let both of you collect yourselves. Tiedoll was pretty insistent on seeing you and Marie is also with him. If you don't feel well enough, I can ask them to wait until morning…" Komui offered, not really sure how the man's body was holding up at that particular moment.
"I'm a lot worse in the morning, I'll be fine. Now get out."
Without a second of protest, Komui nodded and backed out—exiting the room quietly. He had a feeling that Kanda was more upset than he was willing to display and he wasn't going to make it worse by forcing the boy to actually show it in front of him. It was apparent that he was already feeling the Innocence's affliction on him was nothing more than a humiliating joke.
Allen watched Komui leave and turned to face Kanda, "are…you okay? Is the fact that Cross is—"
Kanda slipped out of the bed and groaned unpleasantly, before shooting a very strong eat shit and die look at Allen. "Stop fuckin asking me that. So Cross knows…Big deal. He's your problem, not mine. Cross isn't your father, so he has no stake in this thing."
"If you really felt like it was no big deal, you wouldn't be as antsy as you are right now, Kanda." Allen replied with a bored look, grabbing for his shirt and picking up Kanda's along the way. They had discovered that the Innocence could pull energy through fabric if Kanda was pressed against him, but Kanda insisted that skin contact felt more relieving.
"Tiedoll is a handful of rooms away; that doesn't ease my annoyance in the least…Auugh…I feel dizzy again," he leaned against the wall, with his back pressed flat against it—head tilted up with his eyes closed.
This gave Allen a chance to look him over. He was looking a little flushed and breathing heavier than he usually would at rest. From the way he stood, Allen could see the taut muscles of his body recoiling to try and restrain the likely urge to curl forward and either hurl or take up the fetal position if the shredding of his insides didn't cease—which, to Kanda's credit, he hadn't yet fully attained the fetal position; though he'd looked ready to curl up in a ball and die a few days before. Allen really hadn't thought the two month mark would involve so much change. Perhaps everyone else would miss the small changes, but Allen was with him constantly.
His eyes analyzed the shadows cast by the dim light and at that particular angle; something really caught his attention to the point where he actually stood up. He hadn't done so to make Kanda uncomfortable, but it was really just something to take into his mind once he was within touching distance of his partner. Cool fingers traced down Kanda's chest, stopping over an area usually ridged with pronounced muscles. Instead of the hard chiseled muscles of his abdomen, he felt a very slight protrusion that seemed to make the visible muscle patterns disappear and appear more…flat. If he hadn't touched, kissed and licked that part of his body so many times, he wouldn't even notice; but this was noticeable to him.
Looking up, he hadn't even realized he'd kneeled before Kanda. The dark eyes looking down at him were slightly widened by his action. It was like those eyes were connecting directly with Allen's all the way to the brain wave; because the recognition of what Allen was getting at was very, extremely strong. His fingers moved together and he pressed his palm flat over the spot in man's midsection. He could feel the warm tingling sensation—stronger than before; feeding it directly.
"Beansprout…"
"I'm sorry, Kanda…I just I'm a lost cause already."
"Tch! You're right about that," Kanda grunted and moved away from him—his face screwed up into an indescribable expression. He hadn't been consciously paying attention to his body since he'd begun to sleep as much as he had. Looking down his front, he could see how the muscles had flattened and arched out just barely—as if the muscles were swollen. It was easy to overlook.
Except, now that he saw it. He couldn't un-see it. It wasn't just an abstract affliction in there with pain accompanying it. It was a physical presence making itself known. Allen could see it…and that made him feel even more self conscious about it. The little idiot had already paternally claimed it without hesitance. It was his.
Some disgusted part of Kanda still couldn't bring himself to do the same. It was a little ball of flesh and blood that was causing him agony. A little ball of would-have-been abortion, if the Innocence hadn't told him no. But another part of him had looked at Allen's expression and cemented it into his heart
"I'm sorry," Allen whispered.
Kanda moved back over to Allen, standing right in front of him—looking down. "Quit apologizing. I've never blamed you, have I?"
"I still feel like I'm causing you more issues than I should. I want you happy, but I don't want to see what we made lost in the process. I know it's stupid…But, it's because it's you and me that it makes it more. I told you before…I will do anything for you."
"You are such a sap. Dear god. Why did I sleep with you to begin with," an unpleasant sneer crossed his face and Allen frowned. "Tch…start thinking of names."
Allen blinked up at him, stupidly. "Huh?"
"If you're not going to duck out on me when the reality actually hits you, then you can name it."
Snaking an arm back around Kanda's hip, Allen leaned closer to him—pressing his face against the flat of his midsection and affectionately nuzzling the spot. "I will think of a good one then."
"Now…get off and let's get dressed. If I spend any more time looking at your love struck face, I'm going to vomit on you."
"Charming as always, BaKanda," he snorted and reached up to hand Kanda his shirt.
"Shut up or I'll make you a late term abortion."
Allen smiled, despite the crude commentary. He knew the way Kanda thought and while it wasn't acceptance, it was one step closer to admittance at least. If Kanda was thinking ahead enough to encourage him to think of names, then he was at least showing some resolve to see it through to the end. As guilty as it made him feel, it brought a joy to Allen that he hadn't understood until then. Maybe the idea of being responsible for something that would tie them together forever was enticing. Maybe he was just stupidly smitten by the concept of holding a precious little mini-Kanda in his arms.
Lavi jokingly told him that he was born to be someone's dad.
Lavi might not have been wrong.
He didn't care if people thought he was young. All he needed was his heart. Thinking back to the night that started all of this, Allen knew he loved him then…and the many times before that.
Mentally, smacked himself.
This was why Cross was so insistent on making sure I didn't breed.
"I hope he looks like you," Allen blurted.
Kanda turned with his mouth open and gaped stupidly at Allen before kicking a shoe up at the little turd, "what the hell, beansprout? Shut the hell up and get dressed."
"Yes, mommy."
"Oh you are dead, little motherfucker."
Allen thought it was worth it.
To Be Continued…
A/N: The reviews on this is insane to me. But I'm so glad everyone is enjoying it! I know mpreg is one of those things that really has to be done with care to not be unrealistic and ridiculous. I sure hope I'm being neither of those! Thank you all for reading!
