Coming to America! Episode Seven
Musical Mania! The Trials and Tribulations of Putting on A Show!
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: 2:39 PM, 2ND TUESDAY
"Shikamaru, you're a stupid ken-niggot!" Naruto yelled before turning to Dosu. "Dosu, you're a stupid ken-niggot!" And the procedure repeated… "Tenten, you're a stupid ken-niggot!"
"It is rather amusing," Neji admitted. "Naruto gets a part in the play doing what he does best."
"Yelling ken-niggot?" Shikamaru offered.
"No… well, that too," Neji responded. "He's the best at being irritating. And guess what he's doing?"
"Ah," Shikamaru nodded, not saying much else. As with most days, Mr. Johansen was late getting out of his classroom, and the actors in the play were stranded inside the multi-purpose room. Currently, Naruto was running around doing nothing, Dosu was warming up his voice with Tenten and Kankuro, Vance and Randall were arguing (over why egotists always got the lead roles in plays), and Palin appeared to be writing in a black notebook. All of the other actors were going through their lines, warming up their voices, or chatting (two of the 'Laker Girls' were talking about Tom Cruise and how he had gone insane).
Mari, Yoko, and another girl that Kankuro fancied named Penelope Tang were together in one group, talking about the play. Shikamaru had taken it unto himself to eavesdrop on them, only to find that the three of them weren't talking about anything that resembled the plot line of the play. They actually seemed to be role-playing.
"So," Penelope began to ask Yoko, "how are our plans to get the Krabby Patty formula coming?"
"I wouldn't know, I don't live underwater," Yoko scoffed. "Remember? I live in another dimension – at a magic school."
"And you have wings," Mari noted. "That's awesome…"
"Hello, you have wings too!" Penelope cried out in a somewhat mocking tone.
"And a crowny thing," Yoko added.
Shikamaru was about to join their odd conversation when Mr. Johansen entered the room, put down all of the materials he needed for rehearsals (the master script, any new additions to the script, song lyrics, the music for the people in the 'orchestra', and so on and so forth) on a table, and pulled up a chair.
"All right everybody," Mr. Johansen yelled. "Sit up on the stage."
Everyone leaped, jumped, or otherwise fell onto the stage. Naruto tripped over Neji's foot and did a face plant into the stage floor, but everyone seemed uninjured otherwise.
Kankuro tried to get a seat next to Penelope, who, unfortunately, was sitting directly in-between Yoko and Mari. Kankuro sighed and took a seat next to Dosu.
"Why does she not notice me?" Kankuro asked Dosu. Dosu shrugged.
"All of these normal girls are weird," Dosu answered indirectly. "One girl I didn't even know walked up to me and asked me on a date."
"And?"
"You know about Hinata."
"Of course I do. You and Naruto know about Penelope, Naruto and I know about Hinata, and you and I know about Sakura," Kankuro explained to no one in particular. "Moreover, we know about Tenten and Neji, and we know all about Shikamaru…"
Shikamaru, unbeknownst to them, was standing right over the pair.
"Don't you find him a bit creepy?" Dosu asked. "I mean, he likes Gaara AND Sasuke… there's something wrong there."
"I think that he likes the front man for 7 Licks," Kankuro shrugged.
"Jerard Hyman?"
"Yeah, him," Kankuro replied.
A vein pulsed in Shikamaru's head. As long as they didn't bring up anything else…
"What about Family Guy?" Dosu asked Kankuro in a low voice. "He seems to worship that show."
"Don't you know?" Kankuro inquired. Obviously, Dosu didn't know. "He's in love with…"
"I'd like to cut this banter short, if you don't mind, Kankuro, Dosu," Shikamaru finally said. Dosu and Kankuro turned around, and their faces became pale as sheets. Their eyes widened as they struggled to find words.
"Ah… hi, Shikamaru… er…"
"Um… it's… ah…"
"For your information, I do have a liking for women, too," Shikamaru muttered in such a venomous voice that Kankuro was certain that he was possessed. Then he realized that he had never seen Shikamaru so pissed off at anyone in his life.
"Uh… we meant nothing by that, Shikamaru…" Kankuro tried to explain before Shikamaru cracked his knuckles loudly.
Naruto, his face red from a rather nasty face plant, walked over at this precise moment. "Hi…"
Shikamaru became as normal as ever again. "Hello, Naruto. Why is your face all red?"
A laughing Neji wasn't far from sight, and Naruto was glaring at him with murderous intent.
"Sorry I asked…" Shikamaru quickly added, noting Naruto's I'm-gonna-kill-him-if-you-don't-hold-me-down expression.
Kankuro and Dosu, however, were simply amazed by Shikamaru's about-face. It was rather interesting, simply because he had just gone from angriest man in New York to giggling like a stupid schoolgirl.
Mr. Johansen reeled in everyone's attention, and began to hand out script enhancements for a scene where the French Taunters begin to taunt the Knights of the Round Table. Shikamaru was standing behind Naruto (lucky him) and in front of Penelope Tang (ooh, Kankuro is jealous). Naruto was slightly flustered at the prospect of even more lines to memorize, but Shikamaru was just pleased that Naruto was standing in front of him, jeans sagging to his upper thigh. Shikamaru tried not to stare.
Penelope cocked her head, looking at Shikamaru. She tossed a strand of vibrant blonde hair out of her face, focusing watery gray eyes on the slightly pale – and completely entranced – teenager in front of her. She'd never seen anyone so absorbed in her life.
Okay, that was a lie. She'd only seen one person as absorbed as Shikamaru, and that was Mari when she was reading the end of Cardcaptor Sakura: Master of the Clow (more accurately she was reading the end of it while drowning herself in emotional, happy tears).
"Excuse me," Penelope ventured a say, tapping Shikamaru on the shoulder. Shikamaru turned around.
"Yeah?" Shikamaru answered. He recognized this girl at once as Penelope Tang, Kankuro's crush. He wondered what she wanted with him.
"What are you so focused on?" Penelope asked.
Shikamaru turned completely red; a drop of blood began to plip out of his nose, and – TA-DAH! Super nosebleed, anime style, right on the floor. Penelope raised an eyebrow.
"Um… Should I have not asked…?" Penelope wondered aloud.
"Asked what?" Yoko asked from behind Penelope. Penelope jumped a good seven feet in the air before realizing that it was just Yoko. Mari was hanging on Yoko's arm, as usual.
"Nothing!" Penelope forced a laugh, avoiding the hard stare from Shikamaru, who had managed to put a hold on his nosebleed.
Penelope turned around when Yoko and Mari began to go crazy and yell about a band known as Weezer. Shikamaru was staring at the two of them, clearly jealous or irritated or something along those lines. Penelope raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Are you all right?" Penelope inquired. This guy was completely crazy, it seemed.
"Fine," Shikamaru answered briefly. He was still slightly red.
"You just had a Tenchi-style nosebleed," Penelope reminded him.
Shikamaru looked at Mari and Yoko, who were currently yelling "mosh pit" and slamming into random people and each other. The random people obviously knew of this game and began to do the same.
"What are they doing?" Shikamaru asked.
Penelope opened her mouth to answer when Yoko slammed into her. Penelope fell to the ground, sprawled like a bear rug on the gym floor.
"Are you okay, Penelope?" Yoko half-asked, half-laughed hysterically.
"Mosh pit!" Mari yelled, running into Shikamaru. Shikamaru looked at Mari, a small smirk spreading across his face.
"Mosh pit!" Shikamaru cried, running into Naruto, nearly pulling down his boxers. Naruto turned around.
"What the hell was that for?" Naruto asked, pulling his pants – and his underwear – back up again.
Shikamaru immediately stopped giggling and stood there, his face frozen.
"Don't you know how to mosh pit?" Mari asked Naruto.
"Yeah, but that wasn't the point," Naruto responded. "He almost pulled down my pants."
"That happened to me once," Yoko interjected.
"Twice," Penelope corrected.
"Seven times," Mari changed the number yet again.
"Four of them just now, from running into that Dosu character," Penelope explained.
"Come off it," Mari frowned.
Shikamaru frowned as well before turning to Naruto. "Sorry bout that. It was an accident, I swear…"
Naruto finally grinned before slamming into Kankuro. "Mosh pit!"
Kankuro turned around, saw Penelope, and whipped around so fast that Naruto was almost sure that he never did turn around.
Shikamaru turned around to see Mari hanging on Yoko, yelling "rape". Shikamaru became angry again, and Penelope finally realized why.
"Are you like Mari?" Penelope asked.
Shikamaru lowered his clenched fist. "What'd ya mean, like Mari?"
"I mean are you a bi?" Penelope responded, rolling her eyes.
Shikamaru blushed. "Maybe."
"You are," Penelope smiled evilly. "And you like Mari, and you're jealous of Yoko, and you like the guy in front of you. Of course, Yoko is straighter than a pencil."
"And what about you?" Shikamaru asked with the air of a trashy tabloid writer. "WHO do you like, seeing as you know everything about everyone?"
"I like…" Penelope flushed. "Ah! Maybe I should know your name first."
"Shikamaru Uiolio," Shikamaru answered. "And yours?"
"Penelope Tang," Penelope responded, her face still flushed. "Ah! I can't believe that I like someone!"
"That's really… nice…" Shikamaru noted. "Uh, if it isn't a hindrance, do you mind telling me HOW you know everything about everyone?"
"Oh, I have this weird ability," Penelope replied. "It's like I can read minds. Of course, my family was rumored to be this great shamanic Japanese clan… the Yamanaka or something like that…"
Shikamaru didn't say anything. He knew perfectly well that Yamanaka was Ino's family name. Was it possible that some of them came down to Earth and settled down… and then immigrated across the globe?
"But it's like mind-reading. I can read feelings," Penelope continued. "Isn't that cool? I joined the Fortune-Telling Club here at school, and not one of my fortunes has been wrong yet."
Shikamaru's jaw dropped. That sounded so much like the Art of the Valentine or the Art of the Possession or whatever Ino had decided to call it this week that he nearly passed out. Penelope was the modern American version of Ino without the shuriken.
"Oh… yeah, that's cool," Shikamaru lied. He really found it scary.
"But you wanted to know who I liked," Penelope remembered. "Well, all right, I guess I can tell you…"
Penelope flushed and leaned in close to Shikamaru. "You know that guy up there?"
Shikamaru followed Penelope's finger and gasped. She was pointing at Kankuro, who had just received his script adjustment and was reading it over, trying rather hard not to bust out laughing.
"Kankuro Rinker?" Shikamaru repeated. He was glad that Kankuro's last name was no longer 'of the Sand', simply because that name was so… archaic sounding. Actually, it didn't even sound like a name. It was like the blandest title you could possibly give to someone. Of the Sand. Wow. I feel frightened.
"Yeah," Penelope sighed. "Isn't he sexy?"
Shikamaru remembered what Dosu had said: All of these normal girls are weird. And he was right. Most definitely right.
-
Neji and Tenten, lucky them, didn't have to deal with mind-reading descendants of ninja or crazed Earth girls, for they had each other.
And they were rather serious in their relationship, too.
"Neji…" Tenten marveled at the shiny ring slipped around her dainty finger. A small diamond adorned it – the perfect size for the tiny band. "It's beautiful!"
"No," Neji corrected. "YOU are beautiful. And there's something I need to tell you, Tenten…"
Tenten held her breath.
"I intend to marry you."
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA: 6:23 PM, 2ND MONDAY
"Sakura!" Jackie called inside the Borders and Noble Bookstore. She couldn't find her adoptive sister in any of the usual sections: medicine, SAT prep, cooking…
There was only one section that Jackie hadn't checked yet: the spirituality and religion section. Jackie shivered. There was nothing wrong with the rows of Bibles or Korans or any of those – rather, the occult books of witchcraft and necromancy were what scared her.
Jackie pressed through the aisle filled with biographies of Dali Lamas and Popes. Sakura wasn't there. The next aisle was filled with various books about old pagan religions, mainly used by college students preparing thesis statements. Sakura was yet to be found.
Jackie rounded the final aisle and exhaled in relief. Sakura was standing there, a pile of books sitting next to her place on the floor. Sakura had her nose buried in a book, eyes alight with interest.
"Sakura," Jackie said. "Sakura, time to go home."
Sakura put down the book and looked at Jackie, smiling. "Oh, okay."
Jackie tried to glimpse the cover of what Sakura was reading, and did. She gasped. It was a book about contacting the dead.
"What is it, Jackie?" Sakura asked.
"That book, Sakura, that book is about…" Jackie stammered before her voice cut off and her face turned away.
Sakura inhaled, worried, before smiling. "I want to be well-versed in everything. This happens to be everything, Jackie…"
Jackie looked up, looking genuinely happy that Sakura wasn't interested in that kind of stuff. "That's great, Sakura. Let's go home. Mom is waiting outside."
Sakura took Jackie's hand playfully. "Okay!"
But the real reason Sakura was reading that book was far different. She really did need to contact the dead, for reasons that Jackie – nor anyone in the ninja community – would ever understand.
THE LOSS FARM, KANSAS: 11:56 PM, 2ND MONDAY (ALMOST TUESDAY)
Kiba scowled as he heard what sounded like a dish shatter. It hadn't been the first time he'd heard this. Nancy always decided to do the dishes at ungodly hours in the evening, because that's when she usually remembered to do them.
Kiba sat up, preparing to go yell at Nancy, as he or Zaku were usually reduced to doing. As he walked down the hall, he heard a small, petrified scream coming from Temari's room. Kiba, not realizing what he was doing, ran into her room, slamming the door open.
Temari was being pinned to the wall, her nightgown (the one with the giant hourglass on it) almost falling off her shoulders, and the person about to hurt her was Darien.
Kiba tensed, and punched Darien. Temari fell to the ground. Darien grabbed his now half-broken nose, dropping a previously out of sight knife. Kiba staggered backward a step, shocked at the scene he had just glimpsed. Temari looked up, her eyes filled with pain and worry. Darien grit his teeth and uttered an unprintable obscenity.
"What is going on?" Kiba asked very unhurriedly, his rage slowly building up in his mind. And he didn't love Temari as he loved Ino. He just found her to be a friend…
Darien murmured a string of slurs that were just that – slurred.
"I asked a question…" Kiba's voice was growing rapidly faster and his face more contorted with ire.
"You crazy son of a…" Darien whimpered, catching blood as it leaked out of his nose. It was definitely broken.
Kiba had heard enough, and frankly, no one else needed to hear it, so he grabbed Temari by the arm and dragged her into his own room.
-
"You've saved my life twice now," Temari sighed graciously to Kiba. "I can't thank you enough, Kiba."
Kiba shrugged. "I thought it was Nancy doing dishes. If I hadn't heard you scream, I would have never gotten to you."
Temari smiled, despite all that had happened. "Kiba… I…"
Temari heard a clunking noise. She turned to see Kiba setting up a futon couch bed, presumably for her, next to Akamaru's dog bed. Temari cocked her head, trying not to blush, when Kiba looked up. Noting her confusion, he said, "For me."
"For you…?" Temari reiterated.
"You're sleeping on the bed," Kiba insisted. "And you are NOT going back into your room."
"All right, Kiba-kun…"
Temari covered her mouth haphazardly. Kiba looked up. Not many people had addressed him with –kun before, and one of them (Hinata) was practically his sister. (In fact, Hinata had called him nii-san before once, before departing to America.)
Kiba smiled. "Don't worry. Nothing will happen while I'm here…"
Temari choked back a tear. "I thought we were okay here…"
Kiba frowned, his normal composure dropping. The blankets he had laid on the futon looked limp with no body underneath them. Temari had almost been badly hurt – she might have even been killed – and, as she had said, he'd come to his rescue again. Something in the back of Kiba's mind finally woke up, and Kiba sat down on the floor beside Temari.
"Sleep well, Temari-chan," Kiba told her before kissing her cheek and diving into the futon bed.
Temari rubbed her cheek, letting her jaw drop uneasily and her face flush red. She peered out of a crack in the door, just in time to see Darien silently creep back into his room the way he had crept into her own, and ran to the side of the bed, both frightened and delighted at the same time.
"Will you go to sleep?" Kiba asked in his normal harsh tone.
"Are you sure…?"
"Yes, you will be fine," Kiba responded in a dozed-off voice. "Akamaru accidentally attacked Choji yesterday when he came in to borrow a bar of soap. He won't let Darien in, I promise."
"That wasn't what I meant."
Kiba pulled his head out of the pillow. "You aren't impeding on me. This isn't a big deal. If you go back to your room, it will become a huge deal. Just go to bed."
"One thing before I go to sleep," Temari promised.
"Oh? What's that?"
Temari jumped in front of Kiba, kissed his lips quietly, and jumped into bed. Kiba furrowed his brow, touched his hands to his lips gently (as Temari had done to her cheek), and smiled in a strange manner.
Maybe he wasn't in love with Ino after all.
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA: 2:25 PM, 2ND TUESDAY
"So you are trying out for Christine," Asher sighed. "Thank God."
"I'm not doing this for you," Koku snapped at him. "I'm doing this for… him…"
"Oh yes," Asher replied. "Your adopted brother – no blood relation – who is in love with Jackie Waterford's adopted sister – again, no blood relation – who, as evidenced by your shouting match with her, is, in fact, in love with your brother but doesn't want to ruin her reputation by going out with him."
"Thanks much for the recap, but, Asher…" Koku looked around. "Why are you explaining this to an empty room? WE SHOWED UP EARLY, REMEMBER? WE'RE THE ONLY ONES HERE. Who are you explaining this to? Some nonexistent audience?"
Asher smiled. "Koku, you are brilliant. As you always have been."
The door slammed open. The demonic Gaara, the effervescent Lin, the mysterious Shino, the musical genius Liam, his older brother and other musical genius Jerard, the quiet (and designated eye-candy) Sasuke, and hyperactive red-head Sarah all trailed into the room. They were all chatting animatedly, and eventually rounded over to where Koku and Asher were leaning against the brick wall of the school MPR.
"Ooh, Koku and Asher, sitting in a tree!" Sarah cooed. Koku knew she was just kidding, but Asher barely knew Sarah and attempted to set her straight.
"We are NOT TOGETHER," Asher pointed out in a very pointed manner. "We're just FRIENDS. Hear that, red-headed twerp?"
"Oh please, Asher," Lin muttered. "She's just… kidding…"
Lin caught sight of Gaara and began to trail after him. Koku smiled. Lin was so in love with Gaara. They would look so cute together, but Gaara preferred being left to his own devices. And Lin had recently begun rattling off about her crush on the handsome substitute teacher Mr. Subato…
Jerard was busy looking at all the changes made to his old junior high school.
"Where's the banner for the Rock and Roll Dance?" Jerard asked frantically. "What happened to the Emmanuelle team? I was on that team in seventh grade! Oh, they got an organ for Phantom, did they?"
Liam sighed. "You paid for it, remember, Jerard?"
"Oh yeah…" Jerard smiled, as if the payment was a warm summer memory filled with Winx Club and suction-cup shoes. "Well, you guys are gonna put on a great show, I know it…"
"Jerard, YOU'RE playing the organ, remember?" Liam reminded his hapless brother.
"Oh yes…"
Jerard turned around to see Shino talking to Asher and Koku talking to Sasuke. Jerard wandered off to talk to Sasuke when the Bling Blings entered. Orohime came in first, so she wouldn't be seen talking to her 'employer', followed by Jackie and Sakura. The door closed only to be pushed open again by Rock Lee, Hina Morrow (also known as Hyuuga Hinata), and Seto Kaiba.
Gaara took one look at Kaiba and scowled. "You're in the wrong story."
"I
know, but I can sense that Yuugi is here -!"
Gaara punched him,
grabbed the Grim Reaper's scythe from out of nowhere, and pushed
Kaiba into a portal created by the scythe. Lin clapped
enthusiastically.
Mr. Subato walked by. Lin turned away from Gaara immediately and walked up to him, talking about the homework assignment he had given in the Science class she was in.
Gaara noticed Lin's absence and looked at the teacher. He looked slightly familiar to Gaara…
The drama teacher, Miss Dorian, stomped in with a couple dozen kids, placing scripts onto a desk set up in the middle of the room and smiling. Her wispy black hair blew in the air conditioner wind, and her thin frame looked perfect paired with her slightly loose pink blouse and tye-dyed brown skirt. Her green eyes scanned the audition sheet.
"All right, auditions are starting now!" she yelled in a clear, velvety voice. Everyone came to attention, and Lin walked back to Gaara's side, smiling widely and turning pink.
"The order of auditions is on the wall, with minor roles going first and the major roles going last, and everyone in between is… um… in the middle… uh… Anyway!" Miss Dorian got back on track. "With us today is the leader of the orchestra and maestro for the musical, Liam Hyman" (scattered applause followed here, as everyone in the room was scattered around) "and the leader of the woodwind section and ocarina player, Shino Tchiakowski" (more scattered applause) "and our organist, former student Jerard Hyman…"
Miss Dorian braced herself for the screams. And they came. Orohime and Rock Lee looked slightly confused, but everyone else knew Jerard by name. And there was a lot of screaming. Jackie, in particular, seemed to be in love with Jerard.
Jerard gave one of those feeble laughs before sitting down at the organ and warming the instrument up. He really was a musical genius.
"All right, take a look at the list on the wall, and know what your audition number is!"
First was Jerard, trying out for the guy drinking wine behind the elephant in 'Hannibal' (for no reason except that the organ wouldn't be needed for about fifteen minutes afterward). Sasuke was drawing curtains, as noted on the top of the page, and Gaara was in charge of the prop room (which hadn't been organized in about a year, when Hello Dolly had been put on). Sakura, Koku, and Jackie were all trying out for Christine, Sarah was trying out for Carlotta, and it seemed that Hina had already tried out, for her name was listed and next to it were the words 'already tried out'. Hina had, in fact, pulled up a chair and was going to watch rehearsals. Asher was the only one trying out for Raoul, Rock Lee had decided that he would try out for both Monsieurs Andre and Fermin and see what happened, Orohime was trying out for Meg Giry, and Nicole had decided to try out for Madame Giry. Many other names were on there as well. All in all, seventeen girls wanted to be Christine, four boys were trying out for the Phantom, one boy for Raoul, two girls for Meg, one girl for Madame Giry, six girls for Carlotta, and the list went on and on…
Koku was next to Sakura, who was next to Jackie. Koku shot Sakura a withering glance.
"So, is this your plot to get him in your clutches?" Koku asked in a harsh voice quite uncharacteristic of her.
"I should ask the same of you," Sakura snapped angrily.
"Why do you want him? You've rejected him before," Koku noted.
"I have not."
"But I watched you do it."
"I know that he likes me, and all I have to do is ask him out."
"Okay. Ask him out – in front of me."
"Of course. He likes me. I know he does."
Koku looked down at the ground. Sakura did have a point. She had seen Rock Lee ask her out… but if she liked him as much as she said she did, WHY would she deny him? Maybe it was part of her campaign to be the most glamorous girl in school. There was probably some Bling Bling rule stating that The Band Members and the Bling Blings were not to interact on friendly terms or something. So why did all the Bling Blings like Sasuke except for Sakura?
Number one got on stage: Jerard Hyman. His audition went well. I mean, all he had to do was drink wine, and, being of age, this was no problem. Jerard was now official organist and guy drinking wine behind elephant.
Number two… number seven… everything was going by rather blurrily for Koku. She remembered when her friends would go up (like when Nicole did a dead-on impersonation of Madame Giry, or when Rock Lee managed to have a very interesting conversation with himself while trying out for both Monsieurs), but numbers flew by like minutes on a summertime day.
By the time number fifty-three was reached (Koku's number and the beginning of the Christine tryouts), Koku was exhausted, but she would do her best, as always.
"Number fifty-three…" Miss Dorian droned. She was tired, and that was very obvious. She needed to be woken up.
Koku grabbed the microphone and took one deep breath.
"Think of me… think of me fondly when we've said good-bye…"
Koku's free-spirited, spot-on singing was amazing. Rock Lee turned around on the spot, thinking that the music was coming from the mouth of Sakura. He was shocked to see Koku standing up there, singing like a much less nasal Sarah Brightman, and a more emotional Emmy Rossum.
Jerard turned to Sasuke. "Wasn't she that girl from the dinner party?"
"Yeah," Sasuke answered, turning away from Koku long enough to answer Jerard's question. Sakura frowned, for Koku was amazing – more amazing than she would be. Koku had won Sasuke, Sakura reasoned.
Orohime scowled. Why couldn't she have tried out for some menial part like she did for the last musical?
Lee was transfixed. Never had he heard such beautiful music… he turned to Sakura. He felt nothing tugging at his heartstrings anymore. He turned back to Koku. There was no tugging. There was full-bodied yanking. He was falling in love all over again… but there was no way that Koku liked him. She was always with Asher, and the two of them looked so good together anyway. Lee sulked, even though he had no proof that Asher and Koku were together.
And Lee lived with Koku. What if he was to tell her he liked her?
(As you may have noticed, Lee has become WAY too analytical when it comes to love… after being rejected by Sakura so many times, he decided impulsive wasn't a good way to go in love. But impulsive was okay for everything else. Really.)
"Recall those days, look back on all those times…"
Jackie bit her lip so furiously that blood began to trickle out of her lip. "Why? Why must she ruin MY future on Broadway?"
The only person there not reeling was Hina.
"This is fine for me," Hina reasoned. "Perfectly fine."
KONOHAGAKURE: 6:56 AM, 2nd MONDAY MORNING
Konohamaru sighed. He was such an idiot. In his quest to go find someone to tell about Kabuto and his Art of the Forget-Me-Not, he slammed into none other than Itachi. He managed a scream before he was whisked away to his current position (after sitting in limbo for a few days)…
Some city in California known as Dimmsdale. Konohamaru narrowed his eyes in anger.
"This… is… crap," Konohamaru muttered in a very angered tone. He looked like a weird elementary school kid who was really some form of weird alien or something.
At least he still had the ability to use some of his ninja skills. Unfortunately, being six years old, he had very few ninja skills at his disposal.
He recalled what Kabuto had said to whisk him away to this world.
"Art of the Spirit Travel!" Konohamaru cried, hands resting in the position of the Tiger. A girl with black hair, a purple turtleneck, and a white skirt stared at him like he was insane. Konohamaru sighed.
"Well… I guess all I can do is try to be normal…"
Little did Konohamaru know that in this town, there was hardly any normalcy at all, even at the school that Konohamaru had thought would be semi-normal. No, for there was an even greater threat lurking in the shadows in a non-descript black van with a satellite dish balanced on top…
End Episode Seven
A/N: Sorry it took so long. I'm actually on episode nine, but I've been terribly busy… oro… well, I have NO IDEA when this story will actually end, okay? So just bear with me, I swear I'll get it done… somehow…
PAIRING ALERT! Yes, I return with PAIRINGS! I think… hold on…
New pairings are as follows:
Penelope/Kakuro (the pairing is no longer one-sided)
Super Serious Neji/Tenten!
Kiba/Temari (now a couple)
(Since only Lil-Riter seemed to have completely gotten this) Kabuto/Lin (forced by ninja art)
Jackie/Jerard (one-sided; fangirl crush)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any other random arbitrary references inserted within, GOT IT! GOOD! (goes psychotic before returning to normal) Heheheh…
Preview of Episode Eight
As luck would have it, someone DID hear Konohamaru's scream. That someone was Master Iruka. As Iruka and the only person that believes him, Kakashi, go after Itachi and Kabuto, Konohamaru realizes that the place he landed in – Dimmsdale - is completely whacked. Seto Kaiba just fell into the town from a portal opened by the Grim Reaper's scythe, Konohamaru's psycho teacher Mr. Crocker thinks it's the work of something called a "fairy", and boys wear silly pink hats! THINGS LIKE THAT AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! IT'S JUST WRONG! Konohamaru, therefore, devotes all of his time into trying to get AWAY from Dimmsdale and back home to warn the other ninjas of Itachi's plot…
In New York, Shikamaru is having trouble coming to grips with the fact that he likes Mari a bit more than Naruto… and, since Shikamaru is so wishy-washy, this is causing radical mood swings. Shikamaru's "mother", a spastic yet cutesy woman known by the name of Conditioner, thinks this may be because the shows he's watching on TV – namely Family Guy and Desperate Housewives – are disturbing him. So Shikamaru is relegated to a network known as Kick-tunes… but that still doesn't explain why he's so melancholy about Mari. And what about Penn and Naruto? After a conspicuous absence, Penn returns from a vacation to San Francisco, preparing to whoop Naruto in the latest Algebra 8 exam…
Meanwhile, in Sacramento, it comes as no surprise that Koku is playing Christine and Asher is her Raoul. However, the choice for the Phantom is nothing less than absurd to quite a few people, and it seems that Orohime has become Carlotta… and Jackie is her lady-in-waiting! Even though Sakura has the relatively good part of Monsieur Andre (changed to a mademoiselle for this performance), the three of them are beginning to formulate a plan against Koku and are preparing Sakura to ask out Sasuke!
On the Loss Farm, Darien is found to have inherited a trait from his deadbeat parents – obsession. And he's not just obsessed with farmwork or erasers or something normal – he's completely in love with Temari! Temari now has Kiba, so that's going for her, but it seems like the only way to make things better will be to face Darien… that's the last thing she wants to do…
Next time: Episode Nine! Insanity, Obsessive Lovers, Mistaken Identities, and… Conditioner? Konoha Ninjas' Downhill Slide!
Konohamaru: See? I'm actually important!
Naruto: Augh! Not Penn!
Koku/Sakura/Shikamaru: DOES HE NOT READ THE NEXT EPISODE PREVIEWS? (all three faint in love-related angst)
Kakashi: Ah, I have returned.
Choji: Wrap it up, y'all!
Quagmire: Aw right. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.
Asher: (steps backward in fear) What – who - do you want?
